apriland
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Posts posted by apriland
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To Olympus: Thanks for harboring me as a ghost for all those months. Your generosity gives me much more peace and confidence about this decision.
To the GPA: Sorry it didn't work out the way I had hoped. Either time. I will always love you guys like my disfunctional CN family, and am grateful for being able to get reaquainted with several of you over the last two weeks.
Dear Sophia/Artemis, I win! Glad I stayed around long enough to get in contact with you again though. [url="http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=20561"]I am [i]totally[/i] Matt Damon now![/url]
Crymson, I am sorry our friendships ended the way they did.
To Darkmistress and Susanoo, and to my dead friend Matthew that got me sucked into this stupid game: Wherever you are, know that I think of you often and hope you've found peace.
To BobJanova: for better or worse, I will never forget you.
To Pansy, bigwoody, Mhawk and DarklordTimmy: Looking back on my time in CN, I will always remember my convos with you fondly. You were all such an incredible support to me in some dark periods of my life. I honestly have no idea why you tolerated my crazy, but I will always be grateful that you did.
To BlueLightning and oinkoink12: thanks for making me laugh and smile with your never ending hilarious nonflirting flirting
To Han: WTF are you still doing in Gramlins??
To BaronofBeef, you get to be the last guy in CN ever to hit on me, hahaha... -
I am going to go ahead and back out. I am kind of uncomfortable with the idea of banking on this option, considering the fact that I am only accepted if it's convenient for finding the last trade, especially given the fact that this is no where near my first choice in circle type. Good luck and best wishes for finding the last pair of trades.
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[quote name='han fei zi' timestamp='1294990211' post='2574882']
Stay in Aqua! Or else...
[/quote]
I wish I could
[quote name='dragonknight1000' timestamp='1295019594' post='2575100']
okay, the avys from the 2 posts are strangely fitting o_O[/quote]
Haha, I have always had a Princess Leia avatar, people always protest if I try to change it.
Give his ruler name I think I originally suggested the idea of Han's avatar being Han Solo like 3 years ago, way back when I was still in the GPA the last time. Kinda awesome that he still uses it. -
I have marble and wheat...
I am currently aqua but I need to switch to green. -
Hi Ray <3
To you being a NSO member though -
[quote name='Omas Nams' timestamp='1281397669' post='2408631']
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPRIL...And welcome to the club heh.
[/quote]
Omaaaaaaaas. Please tell me you finally left Gramlins.
[quote name='Hime Themis' timestamp='1281406892' post='2408889']
Good April
We make the world a better place if we allow are best self to be seen and our best efforts work for others. I have known you almost all of your three years here on Digiterra and you have for me made Digiterra that better place . Here is to as many years more that you may improve my Digiterra.
Respectfully
Dame Hime Themis
[/quote]
Thanks. This forum is OoC though. 
[quote name='Calderone' timestamp='1281409280' post='2408933']
You'll never leave, April. Also hello Trinite.
[/quote]
Lies!
[quote name='Shan Revan' timestamp='1281412234' post='2409005']
Oh wow you're still around.I thought you quit months ago. Well I'm glad to hear things are going very well in real life and I wish you all the best in the future. And good luck hitting the delete button someday. However as I am going on well past 4 years I can't really give much advice on that.
[/quote]
Hi Shan!
[quote name='Rextu' timestamp='1281444476' post='2409547']
You've been around for too long. GTFO.
[/quote]
I know, I know... I am working on it!!
[quote name='Lord Razzia' timestamp='1281602972' post='2412534']
If you delete now, your hard work over the passed 3 years will be for naught!
And it only gets worse the longer you stay. Such a vicious cycle.
[/quote]
Haha, there is so much truth in this statement. You should run while you still can. -
[quote name='Boyle' timestamp='1281326175' post='2406337']
Gettin' old, abril. Gettin' old.
[/quote]
Boyle!
[quote name='joracy' timestamp='1281326631' post='2406354']
You're only three years? Man, I remember you from way back when, I always thought you were older than that. Although I guess three years is old. And I'm older than you.
[/quote]
I started getting involved publically/diplomatically only 1 month after joining, so that's probably why. Though again, evidence of my masochism.
[quote name='fallin' timestamp='1281326688' post='2406358']
Congrats April! You've always been one of the more pleasant people I've met in CN. Glad to hear that you're doing so well.
[/quote]
Likewise!
[quote name='Acca Dacca' timestamp='1281327268' post='2406382']
Happy Birthday QAT!
[/quote]
Haha, I am pretty sure I will still remember you whining for playing that word 50 years from now when I am play in my nursing home.
[quote name='bigwoody' timestamp='1281327276' post='2406383']
I thought you had left already...hopefully all is well.
[/quote]
Likewise! I should drop a line some time and see what trouble you've gotten into lately, lol.
[quote name='Blue Lightning' timestamp='1281363596' post='2407424']
I see how it is.
[/quote]
You could have contacted me on facebook if you wanted to. But then you couldn't buttrape me so I can see why that wouldn't be as fun for you.
[quote name='Caleb279' timestamp='1281389006' post='2408367']
Yes, this is win. Life isn't life with the computer.
[/quote]
MOST. AWESOMELY. TRUE. FREUDIAN. SLIP. EVER. -
[quote name='King Death II' timestamp='1281244160' post='2404313']
Forget RL, get on IRC and live your life on the computer. Thats how its supposed to be done.
[/quote]
Uhm, no.
[quote name='mythicknight' timestamp='1281244523' post='2404320']
Don't forget skype sessions that last until daybreak.
[/quote]
Haha, there were some good skype calls, not gonna lie. I do quite enjoy sleeping adequate amounts and waking up early enough to go to the gym though.
[quote name='Cornelius' timestamp='1281244907' post='2404325']
April, if it makes you feel any better, I've passed the four year mark.
[/quote]
Nope.
[quote name='Alfred von Tirpitz' timestamp='1281260829' post='2404426']
Glad to see that your life progresses in a manner that is pleasing to you.
Stay away from the delete button. It is the anti-admin tempting you to oblivion.
[/quote]
[quote name='President S O' timestamp='1281281645' post='2404547']
We'd love to see you around more, April. But we all hope you're enjoying your time away.
Happy Birthday
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[quote name='Trinite' timestamp='1281290409' post='2404660']
Glad to see you're still around. <3
The delete button is silly. If you are meant to leave, you just have to not care about the game for 25 days. Personally, I hope that doesn't happen for you.
[/quote]
Hi. <3 Remember those days when I used to hang out with you and Lectric in the Sparta channel? Yeah, that was a looong time ago. I just have this sick compulsive enjoyment of growing my nation. I've gotten pretty close but it's hard to completely forget about CN when I have like 20 facebook friends from CN that I'm constantly seeing status updates for.
[quote name='Dochartaigh' timestamp='1281305425' post='2404874']
very happy to see you still around april.
[/quote]
I am glad you're happy about my masochism. -
[quote name='Smooth' timestamp='1281892427' post='2416760']
I ignored my 4 years because, frankly, I'm deeply upset with myself for continuing to hang out with all of you.
[/quote]
Hahaha... so much truth in this statement.
Happy 4th Sooner. Thanks for being one of the rare well adjusted members of CN that has made parts of my memories of my time here pleasant even though it's mixed with so much crap. -
Welp, I just passed my three year aniversary in CN. I didn't even notice when it happened. I always swore I'd kill myself before staying in CN this long, but somehow the pressing of the delete button is still intimidating despite the fact that I haven't gone on IRC for months, have a RL life and and super happy in it. I am so thankful to have left behind most of my extremely disfunctional, abusive, and emotionally draining relationships with so many people on this site. I guess all that brainwashing of how stupid it was to delete your nation no matter what was actually effective on me. To what end, I really don't know.
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This is a great group of some of the best VEers ever....
you guys -
Thanks for the comments on my overly philosophical musings at an arbitrary milestone guys... really fun to see some old faces in this thread, especially since so many of you are such excellent examples of the type of character I wish more people had!
SonOfHoward, I've always enjoyed the points in our CN histories when our paths cross, even when you are being hard on me. I definitely agree that I have learned the most through my RL travels than anywhere else. I've been really lucky to travel a whoooole lot in my 29 years and it's unfortunate that more people don't get the opportunities I (and you) have had. At the same time, I guess I'd like to think that everything, even the most debase people, the most difficult hardships, the most meaningless events have something to be gleaned from them if your paying attention for them... glad I got you thinking.
Hime Themis, [i]Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright / Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay / Rage, rage against the dying of the light.[/i]
[quote name='jerdge' date='01 May 2010 - 01:43 PM' timestamp='1272735820' post='2282790']
Legendary rainbow warriors like you are the bastion of CN against barbarism. Your love for us made you responsible for us, and no disillusion can now be an excuse for you to leave.[/quote]
No pressure or anything....
[quote name='KainIIIC' date='01 May 2010 - 01:48 AM' timestamp='1272692921' post='2282402']
Yes, Peace is a lie[/quote]
Hahaha, you would.
[quote name='ty345' date='01 May 2010 - 05:14 PM' timestamp='1272748431' post='2282991']
Everything is about me.
[/quote]
Haha, you get one of my fav quotes as a response.... "I should not talk so much about myself if there were anybody else whom I knew as well. Unfortunately, I am confined to this theme by the narrowness of my experience." - Henry David Thoreau, [i]Walden[/i] Congrats on your 1000 days as well.
[quote name='chefjoe' date='01 May 2010 - 05:11 PM' timestamp='1272748249' post='2282986']
What is this the 3rd or 4th 'goodbye CN'?
Ever heard of the boy whom cried wolf?
[/quote]
[quote name='apriland' date='01 May 2010 - 01:01 AM' timestamp='1272690099' post='2282352']
So much of the interactions on the forums and IRC are like the playground where the bullies who have had hard lives themselves take it out on the poor unpopular kid.
[/quote]
I've tried to be understanding with you and your personal tragedies and why it's led to you constantly initiating problems and attacking my character for inaccurate reasons, but despite my efforts to be nice to you, you're really never going to change and let go of your misplaced bitterness, are you?
#1 this isn't a quit post, though snide comments like this are exactly why it's so hard to stick around for those that want me to stay.
#2 I have only ever posted about quitting CN once, over two years ago.
It's sad... you're probably one of the people here who has the most potential and you're like 10 years older than me.... planning on growing up any time soon?
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[quote name='Ejayrazz' date='22 April 2010 - 08:28 PM' timestamp='1271993314' post='2271566']
I am cheating.
Syz/Steelrat/LM/Bob Janova/Hellangel/Necant/Omas/Blackdigital/Egwaterboy/Inferno (All come together in my book)
The Ninjas (I cheated)
April
[/quote]
Yessss!! I am third, kind of... This is so much better than middle school gym.
I would pick Archon, bigwoody, mhawk as my triumvirate... Archon can be the general manager, mhawk can be the coach, and bigwoody can be the quarterback. And then my alliance would implode due to so many big personalities being in the same place.
I didn't see anyone pick jerge, so I get to claim him as the like 500th draft pick or whatever this forum is at. -
On August 4th, 2007 I was looking at my friend Matthew's Facebook page, thinking about all the stuff I should have picked up on to know that he was going to commit suicide. To me, it came completely out of the blue, he had just accepted a permanent position at an arboretum after college that would bring him back out to California where I lived and we met. All my interactions with him were so positive, he was kind and thoughtful, and constantly working hard to boost my self esteem with heartfelt compliments. He had hidden the fact that he was mentally ill so well that I never even would have guessed. On his page was a note, with a brief statement about CN and how it was a great game. I created my nation as a way to be still linked to him, and to try to understand why he did what he did and to try to find people that he might have interacted...
(see [url="http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?app=blog&module=display§ion=blog&blogid=474&showentry=1686"]my blog[/url] for my history of my "life in CN"... This post is going to be focused on lessons I'd like to share with y'all)
On an OoC level, CN made me grow up a lot and taught me a lot about myself. I realized that I engaged in a lot of awful romantic relationships with completely incompatible people that I met online in an attempt to settle because I am afraid of real relationships.
I learned about all sorts of crazy things about my ability to adapt to my surroundings, and some of the more base aspects of my soul that are more manipulative/plotting/blame shifting/bitterness oriented.
I learned that I can't shake, no matter how hard I try, the better angels in my head that make me believe that justice and truth are the only true aims in life. Furthermore, that compassion, kindness, patience, an open mind, and a peace oriented soul are the only real ways of achieving those aims.... aims I feel like I have to pursue even in my IC life... This is probably the main reason why, despite the fact that I haven't been in the GPA for like 2.3 years, people still constantly refer to me as a hippy. And lets be serious, those ideals have no real place in CN which is why I haven't belonged here for a really, really long time.
The [i]most[/i] important thing I learned from CN is that the world is full of beautiful, hurting, broken people desperately needing to be listened to and loved. I joined CN because of Matthew, and the people in CN really had no clue he was suicidal until he disappeared and his nation suddenly deleted. Because of that I decided to be very conscious and open to establishing real friendships with anyone who was needing a listening ear, and have had an enormously fulfilling time meeting some awesome people in the process. Thank you for the honor it's been to hear all of your stories, and I hope you'll stay in touch no matter what I decide to do with my nation.
Even more than that, I met some people who were incredible supports to me in difficult times in my life, and made some seriously quality friendships. I'm not even going to attempt to make an exhaustive list, but I do want to extend special thanks to Pansy, bigwoody, mhawk, Darklordtim and Crymson for the many, many hours that you've extended your listening ear to me as I've elaborated on the mess that is my mind. You guys are a testament to me about the fact that everyone is lovable, even me at my very darkest moments and I am grateful for your friendships. I know that leaving the game would change things, and so I am hanging on by the thinnest possible thread for people like you. I can think of dozens of CN players who are doing the same type of thing.
So much of the interactions on the forums and IRC are like the playground where the bullies who have had hard lives themselves take it out on the poor unpopular kid. I wish that people could just be good to each other, but most of me has lost hope about that, and the meanness and 12yr oldness of discourse is always brutal to read, even when it's not directed at me. On another level, it's downright irresponsible given how much tragedy may be going on behind the scenes and how very much these people don't need to be taken down a notch for the benefit of the joker/attacker's ego and a momentary chuckle / lapse of boredom. There are days when this doesn't bother me, but most days it makes me sick. There is so much more to gain by being good to one another than there is to be bad to each other... this I am totally sure of.
If anyone wants to stop by my IRC channel and say hi, I am at #canttouchthis. Good luck to all of you in your IC and OoC life journeys in this game! -
[quote name='Cornelius' date='21 April 2010 - 10:34 PM' timestamp='1271914461' post='2270352']
Oh, and I proved once and for all that, despite my reputation, I am not a hippy.
[/quote]
Once a hippy, alway a hippy. I should know, as I get made fun of being one nearly every days 2 years after leaving the GPA.
I switched from being in TORN to being in Gremlins like two weeks before Karma happened.... So it was, well, interesting to say the least. I definitely didn't feel stupid for making a prolonged hissy fit about the fact that I didn't think TORN could trust NPO anyway. -
interesting, I didn't realize that MK was only a few weeks older than me
also, archon, you stole my 1000 days on planet bob post idea
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oh how funny, I was just thinking about you yesterday thanks to it being McCartney and Lenin week on American Idol
then came to the forums for the first time in like 5 months just now and apparently you're quitting
Best wishes to you for a happy and prosperous future -
NPO could learn a lesson here about how to cancel a treaty with no cancellation clause.
Ahaha, The cancellation of the OoO made me more upset that I can possibly express, so I am glad you get this. I want to propose, however, to you and everyone else that The Harmlins Accord is more than a treaty, therefore we did cancel all our treaties.
How's that for e-lawyering?? XDThe way I see this is that Graemlins has just surrendered its foreign policy sovereignty to MHA. MHA still maintains treaties, but Graemlins does not, so informal decisions by Graemlins are superseded by the treaties binding MHA and binding Graemlins to MHA.So as of this moment:
Mushroom Kingdom
Argent
Umbrella
Fark
FOK
Of these few,
Umbrella is bound via MDP with MHA. Fark has a MDoAP with MHA. Argent, FOK, and Mushroom Kingdom no longer have any ties to Graemlins. The previous treaty cancellation with TOP is covered by an MDoAP with MHA.
So the way I see it, it's a stealth downgrading of Graemlins' ties to Mushroom Kingdom, Argent, and FOK.
This post is so silly on so many levels I can't possibly describe. First it severely underestimates the equal and trusting relationship we have with MHA, which is completely founded on very good reasons. Secondly, of all the alliances we were allied too, I would be surprised if I was the only one who thinks that MK "gets" us the best of any of them. And rar, okay, I'm stopping there before I get anymore frustrated.
wait, you *still* discuss in this endless circle? I mean, that same discussion went for like 3 years in Citadel... I am proud you still try to convince people that offering unconditional protection for an aggressor is wrong, regardless how much "friendship" or "treaties" exist (in fact that was the main reason why thugs like GOONS, \m/ or megalomaniacs like Bilrow and his LoLGGA could do their !@#$%^&* for so long, NPOs power just kept them alive and made any resistance pointless), but I also believe it's complete and utter waste of time.Oh Syz, I have long respected your ability to speak cogent truths to the infants and animals you find around you. You are a huge part of the reason why I knew the Gremlins was my true home long before I ever joined the alliance. You of all people should know that even if no one will ever listen to what you have to say, it's still the right thing to say them and hope they'll hear this time.
By the way, the fact that I can tell that you love that we're doing this makes me more confident we're back on the right track toward being our true self as an alliance, as much as I can't shake that teensy voice in my head that thinks "omg omg omg we're craaaazy".
What I think is the most interesting about this decision is that Grämlins has always played, in my head, the "voice of moral reason" in the midst of ridiculous conflicts on Planet Bob. Our history of integrity should give our true friends confidence in the type of friend we are, and the fact that we will be there for them when they need us. I've only been here for about a third of my time on Planet Bob, but my respect goes way back to them being the only voices I knew I could really listen to during the events leading up to the sham of a war on the GPA. It's membership has always been vocally independent, free to express what it thinks on the forums internally and externally, save a terrible stint in Q where they became more confined because the Grämlins became allied to people who didn't get what they were. Their opinions were always reasoned, both in terms of being logical and tempered from extreme propagandaesque speech. The people have changed, as all alliances have turnover over the years, but just like the GPA is still the GPA for all their crazy neutralness when nearly no one is the same, the same is true of Grämlins, and the standards of justice, reason, and independence that we have always stood for.
Planet Bob, we hold to honorable set of tenets we have set, called the codex, which governs the way we interact with Planet Bob. Most of you have seen it before, but I'd encourage you to look at it again here for a refresher since it's now really the only thing you need to know about us. I think you will like what you find in the coming months when we are truly able to live it out without any constraints.
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Hello, friend with benefits.
haha.... Uhm, hi?
I have a long standing respect for Crymson, and too many people in TOP to count. I am confident that our friendships will not change.... if anything you will see that what we do have between us is more genuine. However, you're the only one who gets benefits Blue.
I am sadder to be leaving The Citadel than I could ever possibly express. I have, and always will respect it more than any other block in CN, due to the independent minded, intelligent leaders who wanted the best for their alliances present. Diversity was the strength of the Citadel, and you knew that whatever happened in the end was the result of a lot of conflicts refining out the ideas/goals of the members that weren't essential and right. If anything, the numerous conflicts between the member alliances has always been to me a symbol of the strength of the substance what made it great, rather than a symbol of the fragility of the bonds between the members. Best wishes to you guys.
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I don't really have that much to add to this conversation. However, after reading the logs in the OP I couldn't help but note that I think it's interesting that other nations on Planet Bob apparently still allow children to be nation rulers. We in Apriland gave up that practice a long time ago.
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I'd like to think I still qualify
Of course
. 1) It is biologically impossible to dislike you. 2) I'm sure you've been quite busy and not a party to any of this nonsense. But dude, your old alliance members are going crazy on each other, still, again, etc. Can you calm some people down up in here?
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This whole situation is just dumb. Why, why, why?
This, pretty much.
Planet Bob sure has had it's fair share of relational drama, but this is just gross as I care about people on both sides and find their actions universally and simultaneously repugnant. I am sad that this is what Elysium has become after their members had to deal with the NoWedge relational crap many moons ago. Once upon a time you used to be good nation rulers worthy of respect, and friends. Play nice dorks....
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Who did this? Their voice sounds SOOO familiar.
OMG! Ejay, are you the Cybernations rant dude????
We still torture Mary with this when ever we get the chanceBollywood wins hands down.
I am not going to lie, I kinda idolized her when I first joined CN because of that video. And yeah, she mentions it whenever I mention it.
How's that for e-lawyering?? XD
Bye CN
in Open World RP
Posted · Edited by apriland
Wow, there are some seriously epic ooold school people posting in this thread.
you guys and best wishes to you in this crazy place and in RL.
[quote name='Duncan King' timestamp='1295628628' post='2589232']
Thought you quit two years ago, didn't know you came back. Better luck quitting this time I suppose.
Good luck in RL...again.
[/quote]
[quote name='Katsumi' timestamp='1295654149' post='2589746']
Farewell, again
What is this, the fourth time?
[/quote]
For clarification purposes, beacause I am slightly crazy still and think it matters for some unexplainable reason, I only actually tried to quit once (March 08), and never actually quit. My nation was 1266 days old. I did post a couple "WTF am I still doing here, I hate this place" theads though.
[quote name='Artemis' timestamp='1295647061' post='2589587']
I always wanted you to be Matt Damon!
[/quote]
I always wanted to be Matt Damon, so that works out well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5qajitmZd0
Sorry, I had to go see about a real life.