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King Man of the Men

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Posts posted by King Man of the Men

    To clear it all up once and for all

    in Open World Forum

    Posted

    jackthegreat, jackthegreat, jackthegreat.

    I think this is karma at its finest right here my man.

    Karma. At its very, very finest.

    You hold no sense of loyalty. In United Alliance you gave the alliance away for a higher spot in MHA, and were sorely denied by your own cabinet of ministers, ALL but one of them wanted you out.

    In return for me helping them and United Alliance by following those ministers who acted against you, you allowed MHA to sentence me to ZI.

    You lied to me when you let me merge TBB with UA,

    You lied to your alliance when you all of a sudden said a merge was happening,

    You lied to the OWF to get them on your side initially.

    Now.. now, now, now.

    An alliance quite the same size has you on their own ZI list, and unlike me, you will be ZI'd.

    Once again your cabinet of ministers have voted you out of your alliance.

    Once again you tried to lie your way out of danger.

    I am not a man who dances on the graves of his enemies, but every enemy on bob that I have had was at least loyal to something other then themself, and deserved respect from me.

    Oh admin, you deserved this so much, and I have declared today a public holiday in my nation of Shireland, every year; International Justice Day will be Shireland's biggest holiday event.

    Signed, JacktheGreat's biggest fan.

    Jack Diorno, former Vice President of United Alliance.

    Deja vu.

    he he har har he he

  13. Pink Trade Guild - I wANTz MYCITIZENS!!!

    in Trading Harbor

    Posted

    Affluent Population + Fine Jewlery + Steel

    Coal - King Man of the Men

    Wheat - King Man of the Men

    Gold

    Silver

    Gems

    Wine

    Furs

    Fish

    Iron

    Water

    Cattle

    Pigs

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Income +10

    Citizens +33.1%

    Happiness +13

    Infra Cost -10.6%

    Tech Cost -5%

    Land Cost -14.5%

    Land Bonus +15.4%

    Environment +1

    Soldier Eff. +24.2%

    Soldier Cost -$3

    Navy Cost -15%

    Infra Upk. -10%

    Soldier Upk. -$0.5

    Tank Upk. -5%

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Note: Must be in Pink, or willing to be in Pink. No exceptions.

    P.S. This guild may just get me about 3000 citizens back, so please join :/

    BREAKING NEWS - Culprits of the Triple Parade Bombings Revealed

    in News Reports

    Posted · Edited by King Man of the Men

    11/06/08 15:04 Local Time ~ ye olde Town Hall, Manchester

    LIVE

    THE NEWS WHICH IS BREAKING

    As the citizens of
    LOM
    (
    pronounced 'lom' as in "He LOMed to become an astronaut someday"
    ) become weary of the scarce updates over the tragic 'Triple Parade Bombings', or Tri-Festa as internet dwellers have coined, the Minister of Justice announced in the ye olde Town Hall in a much anticipated speech that he would later give an announcement in the ye olde Town Hall at exactly 15:25 local, 5 minutes after his last announcement which stated that he would give another announcement 5 minutes later in the ye olde Town Hall at exactly 15:25 local, 5 minutes after his last announcement which stated that he would give another announcement 5 minutes later in the ye olde Town Hall at exactly 15:25 local, 5 minutes after his last announcement which stated that he would give another announcement 5 minutes later in the ye olde Town Hall at exactly 15:25 local, 5 minutes after his last announcement which stated that he would give another announcement 5 minutes later in the ye olde Town Hall at exactly 15:25 local, 5 minutes after his last announcement which stated that he would give another announcement 5 minutes later in the ye olde Town Hall at exactly 15:25 local, 5 minutes after his last announcement which stated that he would give another announcement 5 minutes later in the ye olde Town Hall at exactly 15:25 local, 5 minutes after his last announcement which stated that he would give another announcement 5 minutes later in the ye olde Town Hall at exactly 15:25 local, 5 minutes after his last announcement which stated that he would give another announcement 5 minutes later in the ye olde Town Hall at exactly 15:25 local, 5 minutes after his last announcement which stated that he would give another announcement 5 minutes later in the ye olde Town Hall at exactly 15:25 local.

    Well, according to the time displayed in my snazzy and stylish Nokia N95 phone with a built-in high resolution camera, as pictured below being held by a
    FAMOUS
    and
    RICH
    celebrity, it is exactly 15:25:

    banana_phone.jpg

    Now we go to our experienced field correspondent ----- pufflebump snugglekins ----- who is currently inside the press room where only the
    BEST
    news corporations have gained entrance. Except
    CNN
    ...

    Tanks tommie. hehehe. anywayz, apparantly big mini star of informashun shad dat he gots a letter frum da big meenys who heart many ppls on cementy road last week. i sad. da letter shad dat he gots to shtop MESSING WITH ME SHIEET, BROTHA & GET OUTTA MAA COUNTRRRRYYY!!!. i angry. den he shos us da letter:

    |)34r |\/|U+h4'UCKI|\|g mi|\|i5teR oph jU5tIce,

    We \/\/OuL|) G@|)Ly L1|<e +O 1nfoRM J00 t|-|4T WE, t|-|E |\|e\/\/ MU5+4rd |\/|@|\|i@c'5 LIb3r4+Ion @r|\/|Y, W|-|0$3 PeOpl3 |-|4\/E loN9 $UphF3R3|) un|)3R Y0Ur |-|@RSH aND opprE5$1\/E 90\/erN|\/|3|\|+, H4v3 deC1|)3|) +0 Eng@GE i|\| a CIvIL w4R \/\/ItH Y0u. WE |-|a\/3 5e|\|t J00 @|\| Ema1l 4Bou+ 1+. |-|4Ve Fun.

    witch i tink iz diz:

    Dear mutha'ucking Minister of Justice,

    we wood gadly love two infom u dat we, da new Mustard Maniac's Liberation Army, house peepls has long suffrd undr ur hursh and oppreshiv guvrmnt, haz decid two ingage in a civel whore wif u. we haves shentt u a e male aboot id. o and i bomb ur news. has fun. yayz i can has cheezburger

    or dis:

    Dear mutha'ucking Minister of Justice,

    We would gladly like to inform you that we, the new Mustard Maniac's Liberation Army, whose people have long suffered under your harsh and oppressive government, have decided to engage in a civil war with you. We have sent you an email about it. Oh yeah, we'll like totally bomb your news people and stuff. We're like that. Beeyatch!

    Thank you, pufflebump. Anyways... HOLY SHIIIIIIIT!?!?!?! CIV... CIVID>>. CIIVL WT>.. A....WR>...WAR..?!?!? AHHAHA@H092184ui09jhroijhf908u85923yh OH FUUUUUIUFCK B0mb f10rd indiana jones!!!!

    Nuke2.JPG

    Nuclear Power Plant Explosion Rocks Bohavia

    in News Reports

    Posted

    According to your nation page you don't get any direct supplyment of uranium. So... how the hell do you have a Nuclear Power Plant? I'm pretty sure you need to. Unless it doesn't matter in RPing...

    Anywayz...

    Bob the Nuclear-Mutated Goat with three legs, the Minister of Foreign Affairs of the Land of the Men, had this to say: Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa *cough* Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa *cough* Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa *cough* Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaaa...

    Which briefly translated into this:

    We will send a small amount of aid if still necessary for the damages caused from the incident and may send additional if requested upon. We will also dispatch several clean-up squads across the country once visas are permitted and we will offer the best medical equipment for dealing this situation. Baaaaa...

    LOM's Bank Finishes Construction Amid Economic Boom

    in News Reports

    Posted · Edited by King Man of the Men

    04/06/08 13:20 Local Time

    TOP STORY

    After several days of delay due to the "Carnvial Incident", the Land of the Men's first ever Bank finished its construction. Apparently it had begun an entire 2 weeks prior to the bombings, although no one had really noticed. There have been numerous claims by officials that it was not built in secrecy, and infact had advertisements, from children's toys and bubble gum to hilarious public bathroom scribblings and a video game developed by foreign developer Rockstar Games, which was related to making money, put up across the now Democratic country.

    There apparently even was a sunday afternoon sitcom made based on the bank itself. It was called "Money In The Air" and followed the lives of two accountants working in a bank under construction who secretly had feelings for each other. But the male accountant was a muslim and already had 7 wifes and the female was an alien. This shocked many loyal viewers of the only state-run channel in the country, LOMtv, who proclaimed no knowledge of such airings. When one of our reporters interviewed a man who worked at the LOMtv HQ, he said that there were commercials aired past midnight due to lack of free space and there were mass plans for the sitcom. But after many foreign polygamic muslims and aliens protested at its stereotypical potrayal of their kind, the station had no choice but to cancel the controversial tv show.

    This epic mountain conquering took place during the country's economic boom, coming from the long awaited aid received by it's aligned nations. According to Minister of Foreign Affairs, Bob the Goat with three legs, the former "aid train" was cancelled due to protests across the country on it's delay and the government's inactive stance toward it. Or, it could be that it was physically impossible for a normal train to come to three different nations in three completely different continents. So instead a flying train was commisioned and would deliver 2 million to LOM, in which LOM had to send half of that to the maniacal, savage, slavery-endorsing, lesbian porn-banning and kitten slaying country ruled by the maniacal, savage, slavery-endorsing, lesbian porn-banning and kitten slaying Cartman007. *shudder*

    LESSER STORIES

    • Minister of Justice, Sqwak the bald eagle, puts together a team of detectives to investigate last week's bombings.
    • Man kills self after proclaiming Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull "the worst sequel ever!"
    • Seven die and two are injured after bar brawl between a bespectacled overweight man and a human-like chicken.
    • 12-day mall shootout ends after police give up and blow up the mall.
    • Seven teenagers caught smoking weed cause apocalypse.
    • Unidentified journalist found dead in sewer. Will be used for replacement turkey for upcoming Thanksgiving.
    • New species of monkey found: Orangurilla
    • God forgives teenagers and moves apocalypse to Pope's birthday.

    Bohovia Declairs A State Of Emergency!

    in News Reports

    Posted

    From the president of Bahavia:

    Hello nations of the world, today June 03 08 Bohovia officialy declairs a state of emegency due to lack of funds, in order to ivade this state of emergency we require some Foreign Aid, donations so we can get out of this crisis, any money donations will be greatly appreciated, and we will help your nation if needed in the future. Thank you!

    Oh no! State of Emergency!!!!

    Omgzeh3.gif

    P.S. You need to learn proper spellings of wurds, boi.

    First women allowed into Sahrani Defense Force

    in News Reports

    Posted · Edited by King Man of the Men

    The Land of Men has no restrictions on military enlisting, atleast on gender. And for... er... you know what acts, there won't be any punishment given to unless it affects military efficiency in any way. Sexual tension... it's like a headache that makes one unable to manuevre smoothly thus efficiency drops. Although we have a severy strict punishment for assaults and the likes.

    Bomb Blasts Occur Simultaneously During Military Parade

    in News Reports

    Posted

    27/05/08 16:45 Local Time

    As surprisingly impossible and surprising as it may seem, hope not folks of LOM for it is true. Just recently, only 15 minutes ago in, three simultaneous explosions went off right in front of the parade. Our Field Reporter, Chingling Chang, is at 78th Street Cornwall where two of the three bombs went off. And if my calculations are right, that means most of them. Or maybe half.

    Chingling Chang: It seem that big bomb go off in street you mention now, Tom Hanks. People is running everywhere. Much smoke in area. Many military person injured. I hungry when lunch. Back to Tommy.

    Tommy: Thank you, Chang. But remember to call me by my studio name.

    Chingling Chang: Sorry. Do no harm please. Back to "Anonymous Reportinger".

    No harm done to you, Chang. According to stolen news coverage given by our man-on-the-inside directly from NEWS INC., there have been no deaths reported but many are missing and atleast 46 soldiers were injured. Currently it is not known what has happend to the King and many fear the worst. The worst being that he lives. Also, the third explosion's location happend right in the heart of the parade. Specifically speaking, right in the heart of someone. It is not clarified yet but many survivors beleive that a traitor might have suicide bombed the parade. One of the survivors, an 8-year old child who lost both his parents and an arm, told our Field Reporter that he detonated right next to the Giant Monkey float.

    At the moment there is little that is known. But clues will be found, and suspects will arise, until we finally get the guy who blew up our parade, and our loved ones.

    - Anonymouse Reporter, The Daily Man

    First Full News Corporation in LOM

    in News Reports

    Posted · Edited by King Man of the Men

    28/05/08 9:53 Local Time

    Since it's creation, the Land of Men's only feed came from small radio stations run by anonymous broadcasters and news channels with not even a glimpse of a trademark. But all that seems to have changed ever since a new company with atleast a strong foothold in every form of communication meant for news broadcasting known to man has stepped into the fray. This company is known as NEWS INC tm. It started as the second largest news broadcasting corporation in the military ruled lands lead by :jihad: Cartman007, who still hasn't given me my foreign aid. But due to it's opressive stance toward democracy, same-sex marriage and free speech it banned NEWS INC. It seems that NEWS INC tm. didn't give up and instead moved into the completely democratic and Christian friendly nation that we all know too well. Unfortunatly, it brought it's highly controversial marketing campaign: Operation: ADVERT.

    With the rise of this corporate giant comes the fall of smaller individual broadcasts. It recently had bought the disco-loving rock-hating 80s era like radio station POW 88.04 which had a die hard fanbase of 12 listeners. It had also grabbed the religious extremist Christian channel "The Howard Stern Show".

    This is not the slightest bit of good news for the hundreds of thousands of reporters working for illegal or uncertified-by-government broadcasts who must work every day and night just to tell people the King accidently lost his car keys, or something unecessary as that. This year's "Groovy Moovy" day may not seem that groovy nor moovy at all.

    - Tom Hanks, The Daily Man tm

    King Man of the Men declares May 28th "Groovy Moovy Day"

    in News Reports

    Posted · Edited by King Man of the Men

    27/05/08 15:34 Local Time

    During his daily announcement on the state run television news network "MTV", your majesty the King of the Land of Men has declared the 28th of May to be celebrated as the day to "groove and moove". What this holiday actually celebrates is not known. But a rumour has vastly spread, much like AIDS, that it is to simply cherish all the "good" things in life.

    Planned events include a for-charity fund raising children's carnival, which, according to the Minister of Kids Entertainment, The Burger King, is said to "be filled with lion taming dead hookers and flying elephants with extraordinaringly large ears" in every corner. There will also be a festival dedicated to Michael J. Fox and Star Wars.

    In addition, a military parade dedicated to the King himself, is said to take place in the capital city Manchester. It will begin from the ye olde Town Hall located in The Desert With No Dessert and will pass the Misspelled River in which the parade must then swim across the uranium enriched piranha infested waters. Then it will continue along the bank of the river until it reaches the city bank, which is still under construction due to unpaid foreign aid from the nation's alliance. I KNOW YOUR READING THIS Cartman007!!!!!!! WHERE'S MY FUC-

    -beep-

    Once it has finally past the bank, it will enter the the heart of the capital and finally end at the Madonna Memorial Disco, a national treasure to its people. Although the King's hand picked Minister of Groovy Constructions, the undead head of Ronald Reagan, has decided to invest into another Disco. He said that it was going to become a "war museum but with disco balls made out of enemy soldier bones, dance girls with weapons of mass destruction and international blockbuster music videos from the greatest stars alive and dead and both". But critics have frowned upon the idea of making a boring old musuem into a carnival sex drive. Ronald had this to say in return:

    "We can dance if we want to,

    We can leave your friends behind,

    'Cause if they don't dance,

    And if they don't dance,

    Then they're no friends of mine!"

    - Anonymous News Reporter, The Daily Man.

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