Jump to content
  • entries
    64
  • comments
    78
  • views
    20,476

Excerpts from Uralican Daily News, 27 October 2009 Edition


Uralica

439 views

Top Stories

TOOL, Uralica Declare War

SYKTYVKAR - In a lengthy meeting of the Uralican Tribal Council two days ago, a motion to declare war on the rogue nation of NZ Empire, ruled by bosoxmaniac159, was put forward by a member of the Komi Tribe, and passed unanimously. This was after the same nation decided to attack the nation of Arson from Sparta without warning, provocation, or the approval of The Order Of Light's Inquisition.

To compound this transgression, he would later refuse to remove all marks of affiliation from his nation, even after his nation was reduced to 45% of its initial size by three Spartan nations, including Wyertap, who received a shipment of K$3 million from Uralica nine days ago and other monetary shipments from TOOL nations in recompense for both the initial damage done and the amount of aid Bosox was able to launder from TOOL beforehand.

No actual armed conflict was handled by Uralica, however, as the nation was too small to do so. Instead, Uralica will fight Bosoxmaniac's obstinate "ghosting" with its bank account. Additionally, several hi-tech companies in the country are working overtime to produce the technology needed for some nations to fight. Finally, Uralican Tribal Chief Jarkko Salomäki is commanding the war effort, which is presently being fought in by the nation of New Lemuria, ruled by EionI. Rumours of further nations engaging in combat have neither been confirmed nor denied by Salomäki, who is a prominent military official within The Order Of Light on the whole.

Uralican ERHDC (Emergency Relief and Human Development Corps) units were scrambled to NZ Empire to help evacuate fleeing civilians to the closest TOOL nation, Menairalis.

About the war, Salomäki had this to say:

"Anyone who thinks TOOL is in the wrong in doing this has no idea which end is up. We don't just randomly attack 'our own people.' There are rules to be followed in TOOL. Break the rules severely enough, and you get booted. Refuse to leave, you get attacked. It's like Pintelhos Disco all over again. At least we are trying to evacuate their civilians to a safe place. It's not their fault their own ruler went off the deep end and that their military still follows him. And what about the tens of thousands of innocent Spartan civilians that were killed, because Bosox doesn't have anything like our ERHDC? This cause is a just one, and we will not let a nation who puts vengeance before the greater good sit on our alliance affiliation. He removes the marks, he's off the hook. He doesn't, his nation is as good as occupied. But either way, he shall never again be allowed to be associated with our alliance. The Lord Captain Commander of TOOL, grahamkeatley, made this very clear."

Ural Mountains Stock Exchange Open For Business

YEKATERINBURG - Welcome to Robertian finance, UMSX.

The buying and selling of domestic and international stock just got a lot easier in Uralica, with the official opening of the UMSX early Sunday morning in Uralica's largest city, Yekaterinburg. The highest-valued stocks, naturally, were those of Bolak Corp., the Uralican mining and industrial conglomerate which also owns several retail chains in Uralica and other TOOL and CCC nations, with other companies such as Gornyak Uralica, Magyar Independent, Uralikan Ykköspankki, UralTek, INB (Irlande National Bank), Christian Sport, Inc., and Detonate Hate Records (the label of several Uralican metal and hard rock outfits) also posting strong values.

The aforementioned Ykköspankki and its rivals also get a much-vaunted reprieve in terms of crowds both online and offline. UYP technology representative Miikko Suominen said that his employers alone had their web traffic cut in half due to the fact that currency exchange can be done at www.usmx.com.ur, and also, that the more thorough requests that had to be footed in-branch could now be done at USMX itself.

0 Comments


Recommended Comments

There are no comments to display.

Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...