Disease of the elderly threatens thousands

[Doitzel]

[center][b]Bob Janova, Diet Vladimir[/b][/center]

Concern has been growing across the globe in recent weeks about the deteriorating health of one of the world's greatest political orators. Many medical professionals have expressed their consternation that, in his old age, he is showing the early cognitive signs of Vladimir's Disease. As alliance populations age, some analysts project that thousands could be affected in the next year alone.

"It's a very aggressive disease," said Dr. Shant Anamanmanamanman. "It targets the oral and linguistic part of the brain in the frontal lobe, causing a unique form of aphasia wherein the patient loses all verbal comprehension and overcompensates with excessive and nonsensical verbiage. People with Vladimir's tend to ramble on, frequently contradicting themselves, losing their perspective while remaining completely ignorant to the fact that nobody has a clue what they're talking about. Because of this, delusions of grandeur are not uncommon."

The prognosis is poor, Dr. Anamanmanamanman says. The disease was first identified in 2007 and named after its first victim. Professor Vladimir, once venerated in intellectual circles, became increasingly prone to cognitive dissonance. His lectures grew longer and longer, while losing all coherence to their topic. When others began to express confusion, Prof. Vladimir stuck his nose in the air and retorted that his mind simply operated on a higher level. Eventually, he became unable to form a single sentence without eliciting laughter, and soon after went into retirement.

Mr. Janova has already entered the second stage of Vladimir's, according to Fleet Doctor Admiral Electron Sponge, an expert who specialises in treating people who talk too much. The disease is on the rise in recent years, according to the Fleet Admiral Doctor, and the prescribed treatment of witty one-liners and "no, u"s is becoming less and less effective. Fleet Admiral Doctor Electron Sponge and other researchers at the New Polar Order Ministry of Science are working tirelessly to find a cure, but progress is slow and under-funded.

Bob Janova was once a leading proponent of the moralist agenda in the popular media. During the height of the New Pacific Order's dominance, he frequently spoke against the unwarranted, [i]realpolitik[/i] aggression of the Goon Order of Neutral Shoving, the NPO, and others who professed to be eliminating "possible threats". Bob Janova spoke vociferously and fought valiantly in defence of Ordo Verde, one of the last such victims, who were attacked for accepting covert intelligence unsolicited in 2009. However, just two years later Bob Janova has been quoted as saying that accepting such information unsolicited is "a ([i]casus belli[/i]) grounded in definite and discrete action".

"It's a shame," says Dr. Anamanmanamanman. "Bob was always someone you could rely on to do the right thing. It's tough to watch him turning into a self-caricature like Professor Vladimir."

[i]Doitzel of Francos Spain reporting[/i]

[Believland]

I'm glad I'm not the only one to see it.

[Sargun II]

This was brilliant.

[Moridin]

Truly a terrible disease. The Ministry of Science is doing its best to cure this ailment.

[supercoolyellow]

This begs the question, will people care more about what Doitzel says, or more about the fact that Doitzel is back?

Edited February 20, 2011 by supercoolyellow

[Schattenmann]

I weep to see a man I once put so much faith and confidence in fall into the hopeless depths of this vile disease. I can't even visit Shady Pines to say hello, the contrast is just too stark.

[Draztikus]

[quote name='Moridin' timestamp='1298232195' post='2639686']
Truly a terrible disease. The Ministry of Science is doing its best to cure this ailment.
[/quote]
Has radioactive treatment been attempted?

[maxnmike]

[quote name='supercoolyellow' timestamp='1298232296' post='2639689']
This begs the question, will people care more about what Doitzel says, or more about the fact that Doitzel is back?
[/quote]


I'm going with option 3. Both

[Sephiroth]

I think VE is a bad alliance for him to be in, as he has no control over the decisions they make and finds himself trying to defend actions they decide on even if its not something he would normally support. I still like Bob Janova, although I think he should find an alliance with better principles who doesn't support alliances like those in Doomhouse just to put themselves in a strong position.

[Hadrian]

[quote name='maxnmike' timestamp='1298232620' post='2639698']
I'm going with option 3. Both
[/quote]
Seconded.

This is an incredibly important and accurate report.

[Moridin]

[quote name='Draztikus' timestamp='1298232549' post='2639697']
Has radioactive treatment been attempted?
[/quote]

Alas, Janova has secluded himself in a fortress out of reach of Polar doctors.

[Mark Ashton]

HAHA enjoyed the read. It was important to call him out. He is a hypocrite.

[Monster]

It'd be the same in any other alliance, except one that never does anything. As for the op, not like this is the first time he's been called out. I don't really care if he posts x or y and I say that as someone he is going after currently.

Edited February 20, 2011 by Antoine Roquentin

[Schattenmann]

[quote name='Methrage' timestamp='1298232799' post='2639702']
I think VE is a bad alliance for him to be in, as he has no control over the decisions they make and finds himself trying to defend actions they decide on even if its not something he would normally support. I still like Bob Janova, although I think he should find an alliance with better principles who doesn't support alliances like those in Doomhouse just to put themselves in a strong position.
[/quote]
Senator Janova is all too happy happy to tow the line.

[Doitzel]

[quote name='Methrage' timestamp='1298232799' post='2639702']
I think VE is a bad alliance for him to be in, as he has no control over the decisions they make and finds himself trying to defend actions they decide on even if its not something he would normally support. I still like Bob Janova, although I think he should find an alliance with better principles who doesn't support alliances like those in Doomhouse just to put themselves in a strong position.
[/quote]

As mentioned, cognitive dissonance is a common symptom.

[quote name='Antoine Roquentin' timestamp='1298233145' post='2639710']
It'd be the same in any other alliance, except one that never does anything.
[/quote]

I remember the days when consistency was a desirable policy. Nobody was ever very good at it on an alliance-wide scale, but really, it's not that hard for [i]one person[/i] to stick to their guns. Well, except for one with Vladimir's Disease.

Edited February 20, 2011 by Doitzel

[Schattenmann]

I have put my sadness to verse:

[i]Where have you gone, Bob Janova?
CyberNations turns its lonely eyes to you
woo woo woo
What's the you say, Mrs. Robinson?
Bob's morals have all up and gone away
hey hey hey
hey hey hey[/i]

Edited February 20, 2011 by Schattenmann

[Tromp]

How very moralistic of you to single out one person and put him on the public scaffold.

Fear it Bob.

[img]http://mansfoto.web-log.nl/mans_fotografie/images/ws3.jpg[/img]

[Branimir]

Actually, it is two persons.

[Bob Ilyani]

This was [u]legendary.[/u]

[Tromp]

[quote name='Branimir' timestamp='1298236170' post='2639762']
Actually, it is two persons.
[/quote]
But one of them was already given up as a lost case apparently.

[Vladimir]

So much for doctor-patient confidentiality.

Janova is just one of many who have shown themselves as insatiable hypocrites over the past month, but he is nevertheless the outstanding example, and perhaps one of the few whom I would have expected to avoid being so obvious about it all.

Edited February 20, 2011 by Vladimir

[Tautology]

Cut the poor guy some slack.

[Earogema]

I laughed.

It's true too. Why Bob, why? ;_;

[Schattenmann]

[quote name='Tautology' timestamp='1298239725' post='2639813']
Cut the poor guy some slack.
[/quote]
Why? This is part of his therapy; don't you want him to get better? I want my childhood hero back.

[quote name='Earogema' timestamp='1298242899' post='2639862']
I laughed.

It's true too. Why Bob, why? ;_;
[/quote]
Shut up you ex-Heg nobody! Robert P. Janova doesn't owe you anything, least of all an explanation of his megalithic hypocrisies.

Edited February 21, 2011 by Schattenmann

[The MVP]

I never did have much respect for Bob. He may have been the one to speak out against aggressive actions yet he was also the one who stood by and threw his nation to support the aggressors for so long.

Like how WickedJ speaks out against the horrors of Doomhouse and still fights for them by proxy taking on many wars. Talk is cheap.