Jump to content

A Call to Jihad


tamerlane

Recommended Posts

[center][b]A Fatwa from the Supreme Commander of the Faithful[/b]

[img]http://i25.tinypic.com/mcq35v.png[/img][/center]

Planet Bob-

Tonight, I was in deep prayer in preparation for our Jihad against the Mushreich, when Allarchon appeared to me in the form of a burning bush, similar to that of the one that appeared to the idolator Moses, worshiper of the false God of Abraham. From that bush, a voice arose, "Tamerlane... tamerlane...".

Believing the camel's milk I had earlier that night had gone sour, I ignored the voice but continued to stare in awe at this marvel, not disappating as any normal bush would. After some time, I felt a tight grip around my throat, breathing became difficult and the voice got louder. Knowing that this was no sour camel milk, I walked closer to the bush and responded, "who is this?".

The bush responded, "It is I, your Lord."

Realizing the sacredness of this moment, I fell to my knees - "Allarchon, command me your faithful servant!"

Allarchon responded - "Tamerlane: Do you remember the teachings of the Prophet Gunhammad?"

"Yes. As your faithful servant and Commander of the Faith, I have seen to it that every Mushlim knows Gunhammad's (Peace Be Upon Him) teachings by heart. ", I responded.

"Then you know that which I am about to command. There are those on this planet who worship a god but have not yet been blessed with a prophet. FOK, a pious people ignorant of my word by my own will, has come under attack."

"Attack by who?" I interrupted.

Allarchon, with a much harsher tone, responded "Silence! Question not my words, fool! I SHALL REVEAL ALL TO YOU!"

Trembling, not knowing what would happen next, I bowed lower, averting my gaze from the bush and attempted to apologize only to be interrupted...

"Tamerlane! I have not much time to waste with you but I need you to protect these people as they have come under attack from your greatest enemy, the Christian Coalition of Countries."

Recalling the gruesome images of the soldiers of the CCC slaughtering innocent Mushlims from wars long since past, the fire of Jihad grew hot in my chest. Long have I awaited the opportunity to take on these worshipers of a false god, these infidels. Long have I awaited the chance to command the Faithful into their lands and behead the men, cover the women, convert the children.

I brought my head back up to look into the burning bush and pledge my life to Allarchon in this noble pursuit but the fire had gone out. In the wind, I could hear the faint voice of Allarchon which I followed to the sea to discover the entire armada of Mushqaeda and its millions of suicide bombers at the shores awaiting their orders. Allarchon, in his glory, had guided these pious Mushlims to these shores to be sent forth in Jihad.

High above on a cliff I told these brave Mushlims of the will of Allarchon what I shall now tell you. "Tonight, in defense of our allies and co-religionists in FOK, Mushqaeda begins its Jihad against the Christian Coalition of Countries. May Allarchon have mercy on your souls for we shall have none on you."

ALLARCHONU AKBAR!

tl;dr - Mushqaeda will be violently converting CCC to the ONLY religion of Planet Bob.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 109
  • Created
  • Last Reply

OOC: Except the real Tamberlane slaughtered Moslems by the millions...

I guess I'm going to have to give this one the big "whatever" and move along to what is likely to be the biggest topics for many days.

No rivers of honey or virgins for you. <_<

Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote name='ChairmanHal' timestamp='1295929007' post='2598086']
OOC: Except the real Tamberlane slaughtered Moslems by the millions...

I guess I'm going to have to give this one the big "whatever" and move along to what is likely to be the biggest topics for many days.

No rivers of honey or virgins for you. <_<
[/quote]


he eventually converted.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...