Schattenmann Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) [center] [img]http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff246/cndump/TWiP/leaks2.png[/img] [IMG]http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff246/cndump/TWiP/twipi-schatt.png[/IMG] [/center] Good evening, and welcome to this special presentation of TWiP, This Week in the Kingdom. I am your host Schattenmann. The post-Karma age brings its own set of problems and frustrations to the rulers of today. The constant comparisons to the Continuum hegemony, a drastically reduced nation base, power bases too worried about phantoms to focus on the present. Then you have your incessant leaks from the old-fashioned grapevine to supahspy-wannabes posting every little thing onto CNtel. But a good leak is the oil that keeps the world turning, and isn't it what we all want? Tonight, TWiP has for you a leaked cable between Sir Paul and his regent Archon. This diplomatic communication is the report by which MK will keep an eye on FrancosSpawn, and keep you safe at night. [i]TWiP is on![/i] [size="3"][color="#000080"][font="Palatino Linotype"] [b]Who's in Charge, here?[/b][/font][/color][/size] [quote name='Sir Paul'] Dear Archon, As Steward of my throne, it is imperative you keep the Kingdom safe until I am called by the people to lead. Since you have no embassy here in the Order, here is some information on the Pacificans I have been able to gather here in Francograd. I shall send you this report thrice annually. Use it to keep my people safe. Best wishes, King Paul Senior Industrial Regent and Sovereign of the Mushroom Kingdom Pretender to the Toadstool Throne __________ [b]1st Triannual Report of the Seventh Year of Order[/b] Delivered on this 31st day of December in the two thousand tenth year of our LORD, seven years and four months after the Day of Order. ----- My Steward, Lord High Vanguard, Lord High Envoy, Lord High Treasurer, Lord High Communicator, Lord High Inductor, and Castellan of the Keep: As the last remaining member of the Mushroom Kingdom in Francograd, I find it is my duty to take the place of your ambassador and send reports on the Pacificans. The People's Government has laid out several ambitious objectives and Pacifica has risen to the occasion, working hard to spread Peace, Strength and Prosperity through their works. As the first full trimester under Emperor Cortath’s throne speech draws to a close, we have the opportunity to truly evaluate his caliber as a leader and the effectiveness of his bureaucracy. I will now state his revealed goals and my opinion on the progress made toward those goals. [/quote] First, we turn to TWiP reporter Linda Ellerbee, who's asking [i]who's in charge here?[/i] [IMG]http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff246/cndump/TWiP/ellerbee-1.png[/IMG] When you see all that hot mess underneath a leaders signature, you have to think that guy's in charge. Sponge's sig? Yeah, he's in charge. Moo's sig? Yep, he's in charge. Archon's sig? There's a guy that's in charge of things. But maybe things aren't always as they seem. Who is running the Mushroom Kingdom? We want to think The Neverender. We hope not his Princes, yeesh! But the cables released in TWiKileaks are painting a different picture. At first shrugged off by the giggling masses, it seems that King Paul is indeed waiting in the wings to step into his throne when the time is right. He is certainly laying a strong foundation, and the Kommune will be greatly strengthened by the perspective he can provide while he waits. [size="3"][color="#000080"][font="Palatino Linotype"] [b]Techtacular[/b][/font][/color][/size] TWiP's inaugural episode brought you a tale of a tech procurement system in shambles; however, it seems that the Pacifican grit of old has come back with a vengeance--a vengeance the Kingdom is well-warned to observe. King Paul's report to his steward paints a picture of a Pacific on the rise. [quote name='Sir Paul'] [b]Restoring technology to our nations and lessening the gap between us and others.[/b] Cortath’s rise in the bureaucracy came mostly through the Imperial Office of Economics, where the Technology Corps is based. Cortath installed bakamitai to handle this crucial office. Thus far, Imperial Officer bakamitai has been focusing on increasing efficiencies within the domestic technology corps, with external technology deals consisting of about 10 percent of sanctioned deals. In the last four months, the Pacificans increased their total technology by 33 percent to 737,352 units. Ironically enough, the aftermath of the Karma war was enough of a crucible to reform Pacifican internal processes with respect to technology to make them more prolific than pre-war Pacifica. I’ve been watching our aid screens and unlike the Mushroom Kingdom’s sweetheart deals with Fark and GOONS for cheap tech, the Pacificans have been paying market rates to foreign and domestic procurers.[/quote] [size="3"][color="#000080"][font="Palatino Linotype"] [b]Pitter-patter of Jackboots[/b][/font][/color][/size] As bakamitai focuses on near-superhuman tech growth, the Pacifican military--once reduced to [url="http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=56242"]mobilizing the Moldavi Youth[/url]--is also quickly becoming a world-class force once again. The steward take heed! A new Pax Pacifica guarded by the stalwart armies of the new generation of crack Pacifican troops can mean only one thing for the Kingdom. [quote name='Sir Paul'] [b]The People's Government will further hone our great war machine to deal with all eventualities: battles against both weak and strong enemies[/b] The New Pacific Order gained over 2 million in national strength since the August Revolution, and added 716 nuclear weapons, meaning they have the most in the world by a margin of about 700. The alliance is also the strongest in the world, with 100,000 NS over MHA, and both alliances tower over others as clear members of the top tier. [img]http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/9713/alliancescore.png[/img] The Pacificans are also working to re-balance their strength, from an infrastructure heavy alliance to something more well-rounded. [img]http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/9713/alliancescore.png[/img] As can be seen by their development ratios, the alliance is still slightly lacking in technology, but has largely bounced back from the effects of the Karma war reparations. [b]We will possess more military wonders than any other alliance in the world.[/b] One of the more ambitious goals of the Cortath Administration, the Pacificans have been attacking this with aplomb. For your reference, I have included a wonder chart featuring the Pacificans, our alliance, and other alliances of note. Red represents first place and orange represents second place. [img]http://img813.imageshack.us/img813/9798/milwond.png[/img] The Pacificans are currently in first in six of seven military wonder categories, while we are second in four categories (which is an incredible accomplishment, given our size and historical disadvantages). The only wonder the Pacificans are third in is the WRC, which of course, requires 2,000 technology, well out of reach of the average Pacifican, who holds 1,400 tech. However, the Pacificans are only 6 WRCs out of first place, and they added 25 WRCs in the last trimester, while we only added 7 and TOP actually LOST 7 WRCs. In fact, TOP lost wonders in every military category. [img]http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/9713/alliancescore.png[/img] The New Pacific Order is also by far the fastest growing alliance in all categories, with their growth rates often two or three times the average. In Pentagons, it was almost 8 times the average increase and more that what every other alliance got combined, showing the influence of bank programs designed to encourage military wonder purchases.[/quote] How long will the Pacifican threat be left to fester in the shadows? Can the Kingdom unite the quarreling and disintegrating axes of power that have hedged their bets on Pacifican complacency? [i]Or![/i] are there bigger, more midgety threats to the Mushreich's position in the world? [size="3"][color="#000080"][font="Palatino Linotype"] [b]Safari's End[/b][/font][/color][/size] [quote name='Sir Paul'] [b] The People's Government will continue to build the Red Sphere into a secure and economically prosperous region through multilateral agreements such as the Red Dawn Treaty, and we will resolve the terrorist threat to the Sphere.[/b] There have been three cases reported to the Red Protection Court since the Day of Order, and all three were successfully resolved. I don’t know if you changed MK raiding policy on account of my wishes or people simply became bored, but I commend you for the secession of explicitly targeting the red sphere and I believe such moves will build up goodwill amongst the several nations in the world.[/quote] [IMG]http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff246/cndump/TWiP/troll.png[/IMG] What's to say, folks? King Paul is truly a master of wit. No doubt long years of Pacifican servitude had dimmed his funnybone, but as home calls across the miles the King will begin to fit right in. Red Dawn has certainly brought a new era of multilateral prosperity to the Red Sphere which was unfathomable in absence of the Mushroom Kingdom. As time wears on, this is the sphere to watch. [size="3"][color="#000080"][font="Palatino Linotype"] [b]Meritocracy in Action[/b][/font][/color][/size] [quote name='Sir Paul'] [b]Continue with the Meritocratic Principles of Continuous Revolution[/b] During this trimester, Sir Paul retired from his post as Maestro of the Pacific Orchestra and Imperial Clerk of the New Pacific Order. Elevated to the mantle of responsibility is Imperial Officer Gandroff, who was granted his commission on October 11th, 2010 to the portfolio of Military Affairs. Following Gandroff was Imperial Legate iamthey, who was elevated to Imperial Officer of Foreign Affairs on October 28, 2010. This was also an average trimester for Pacificans with respect to recruitment. 280 nations applied to join the order, with 193 being accepted into the Imperial Academy. Of those, 92 passed and were admitted into the Order.[/quote] Trimester? Looks like the King has found the Princess. [size="3"][color="#000080"][font="Palatino Linotype"] [b]Airtime[/b][/font][/color][/size] [quote name='Sir Paul'] [b]Provide for the dissemination of our great Culture, our great Ideas and our Literature, Art and Media[/b] Activity in the Pacifican Media Empire has been up, with Radio Free Pacifica marking the largest increase. Last trimester they started tracking DJ hours and in about three months they logged in 119 hours. From Sept 1st through Dec 11th the DJs have broadcast a total of 336.5 hours of radio and talk. Radio has never been so strong and active, mostly as the result of the active leadership from Jgolla and his support crew. The Graphics division has kept Pacifican morale high with 11 large projects, 16 graphics industries requests, a protectorate flag, and some outside consulting work for the Mushroom Kingdom Government-in-Exile. The special project for this trimester was the Pacifican Art Resource Center. The PARC was a brain child of Kean and opened in November. The CNAA award winning Wiki team has been dealing with the recent changes Wikia had to its programming and layout, but was able to conduct major updates on 31 pages and create 10 new pages. Next trimester’s goal will be to create a more streamlined appearance to all member pages. Bobogoobo, a wiki admin, has been helping the Pacificans in their work. I suggest you keep an eye on him. The writing division finished 12 major projects this trimester, completing two PNN-International issues, two Pacific Press issues, four PNN special editions, and four holiday projects. The Tabloid Tribune has been divested and sold to the Mushroom Kingdom Government in Exile. Rumor has it the writing division is considering mini-updates instead of long-form issues as PNN continues its evolution under new management.[/quote] The Kingdom has had its fair share of lumps this trimester, and Paul's report can only serve to motivate the Kingdom to reassert its presence. With things getting hairier out there, the Kingdom is going to need all the good will it can get if it hopes to overcome the crushing blow of the VEto, a joke [i]too[/i] funny for the masses. [size="3"][color="#000080"][font="Palatino Linotype"] [b]Archon, get your gun[/b][/font][/color][/size] [quote name='Sir Paul'] [b]We will offer an olive branch to any peoples who come to us in sincerity[/b] The Diplomatic Corps's of the People's Government has continued in its mission to pursue and build relations in all areas seen beneficial to the Order and its Body Republic. The corps further underwent, and is undergoing a thorough reform package aimed at curtailing the waste of manpower and streamlining the foreign affairs department of the Order into an efficient producer of goodwill and international respect (hence, granting asylum to the MK GiE). Dovetailing this, with the retirement of Comrade Stray and the elevation of Comrade Iamthey, longtime Special Envoy, Farrin Xies has been brought on board as the new Imperial Legate and Department Director of the Order's Diplomatic Bureaucracy. [b]In Summary[/b] While the Order is building strength and wonders, it should be noted that she is still isolated and the Kingdom’s recent diplomatic moves have ensured she will prosper long. There are other priority targets that the Kingdom should focus on before having to worry about the Pacifican menace. While I do not think that military action against those outside the MKCPS is in the long-term interests of the Kingdom, if you are hell-bent in following the advise of your former prince, here is my council: Considering that TOP is currently in a state of decline, and Polaris’ growth numbers not that far behind Pacifica, I would recommend using TOP against Polaris before the bloom falls further off the platypus, and to send Pandora’s Box against Superfriends while it is in an isolated state. For the Mushroom Kingdom, King Paul Senior Industrial Regent and Sovereign of the Mushroom Kingdom Pretender to the Toadstool Throne [/quote] King Paul's closing bears grave advice to his Steward. Wise advice. If the sword's edge is to be kept keen, it must be sharpened against the hard surface of the Superfriends' shields. If there is one thing the King will have learned in Pacifica, it is that the best allies are the ones kept smaller than oneself, and what better way than to let TOP loose? Friends, I hope it's been as fun for you as it was for me. From somewhere in the Swiss Alps, I'm Schattenmann for TWiKileaks on this, the 43[sup]rd[/sup] day of the monarchy in exile. Stay tuned for your completely unrelated collectible sigs. Goodnight, and good luck! [size="3"][color="#000080"][font="Palatino Linotype"] [b]Collectible Sigs[/b][/font][/color][/size] Tonight's special presentation of TWiP Presents TWiKileaks has been brough to you by mIRC and Aristocrat Vodka, the spirit of choice for upstanding gents with discerning taste. [IMG]http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff246/cndump/sigs/impero01.png[/IMG] [IMG]http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff246/cndump/sigs/club10.png[/IMG] Edited January 2, 2011 by Schattenmann Quote
Believland Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 Was much better but the sig makes up for it. Quote
Thorgrum Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 The peanut gallery hungers no more. Quote
Banksy Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 What a limp attempt. You no longer have the ability of others to genuinely spy on people, so you... make a story up? But continue to have fun being Sir Paul's mouthpiece. Quote
Farrin Xies Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 An absolutely superb issue, Schatt. I hope this indicates a return to normal broadcasting of TWiP? Quote
Believland Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 [quote name='Banksy' timestamp='1293942568' post='2560514'] What a limp attempt. You no longer have the ability of others to genuinely spy on people, so you... make a story up? But continue to have fun being Sir Paul's mouthpiece. [/quote] To be honest, most [i]good[/i] stories are made up. Quote
wickedj Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 Thats a wonderful sig, Schatt. Perhaps we'll feature it in the next announcement from TCA Quote
Schattenmann Posted January 2, 2011 Author Report Posted January 2, 2011 [quote name='Banksy' timestamp='1293942568' post='2560514'] What a limp attempt. You no longer have the ability of others to genuinely spy on people, so you... make a story up? But continue to have fun being Sir Paul's mouthpiece. [/quote] Woah killer, I'm just having some fun and hopefully giving some, and I think if you read carefully you'll find I've got a double-edged tongue. [quote name='Believland' timestamp='1293942682' post='2560518'] To be honest, most [i]good[/i] stories are made up. [/quote] I think the best TWiP was the only one that was pure writing. http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=56242 Quote
Arrnea Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 Good show, Schatt. More of this and you'll be truly back in business. Quote
Scorbolt Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 This does not appear to be an alliance announcement. Quote
Sandwich Controversy Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 I don't think Sir Paul needs his work reposted. I don't think [i]we[/i] need Sir Paul's work reposted. Quote
Wang Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) I'd say taunting the leader of the current most powerful alliance in the world might not be the greatest idea. Edit: To clarify, I'm talking about Sir Paul's little craziness he has going on. Sending PM's like this is just begging for attention he shouldn't want. Edited January 2, 2011 by Wang Quote
kevin32891 Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 [quote name='Wang' timestamp='1293943056' post='2560532'] I'd say taunting the leader of the current most powerful alliance in the world might not be the greatest idea. [/quote] As if that scares Schattenmann. Great read and awesome sig. Quote
Emphix Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 Good read. TWiP was better, but I have hopes for future releases The show must go on! Quote
Arrnea Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 Oh look, MK doesn't appreciate farce. All the more reason to keep doing it, Schatt. Quote
Mathias Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 [font="Georgia"]So instead of stealing material from Pacifica, you now let them write it for you. You're better than this Schatt. I miss your old material.[/font] Quote
Azaghul Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) I was hoping for something interesting, and was disappointed just to see a "leak" of another one of Sir Paul's boring pieces. Edited January 2, 2011 by Azaghul Quote
Arrnea Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 [quote name='Mathias' timestamp='1293943375' post='2560540'][font="Georgia"]You're better than this Schatt. I miss your old material.[/font][/quote] You mean you miss when his material was aimed at ridiculing your opponents, not yourselves, right? Quote
James IV Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 [quote name='Wang' timestamp='1293943056' post='2560532'] I'd say taunting the leader of the current most powerful alliance in the world might not be the greatest idea. Edit: To clarify, I'm talking about Sir Paul's little craziness he has going on. Sending PM's like this is just begging for attention he shouldn't want. [/quote] If yall don't like it, do something about it. Also, that might just be the best sig yet. Quote
flak attack Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 [quote name='Arrnea' timestamp='1293943209' post='2560537'] Oh look, MK doesn't appreciate farce. All the more reason to keep doing it, Schatt. [/quote] I appreciate farce, I just don't appreciate unoriginal material. Sir Paul's work has already been lacking in creativity as of late. Reposting it just makes it go stale quicker. Quote
Ardus Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 [quote name='Arrnea' timestamp='1293943209' post='2560537'] Oh look, MK doesn't appreciate farce. All the more reason to keep doing it, Schatt. [/quote] I for one deeply appreciate farce. I'm powerfully amused that Schatt has resorted to publishing the materials of a Pacifican propagandist who, in the midst of some holiday bender, decided he was a king and made himself a scepter out of glitter and construction paper. Given Schatt's self-aggrandizing nature and powerful desire for attention (dashing qualities I see every morning when I shave), I'd expect a more original presentation and the exertion of effort. But this is lazy and I'm disappointed to see it. Quote
Mathias Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 [quote name='Arrnea' timestamp='1293943450' post='2560544'] You mean you miss when his material was aimed at ridiculing your opponents, not yourselves, right? [/quote] [font="Georgia"]Not particularly. I can appreciate good propaganda, and I've complimented some of the anti-MK stuff made recently. But this just isn't Schatt's best work, and you know it. Admittedly, early TWiP "episodes" weren't that great either, but after a couple they got pretty good. I just don't see this improving if Sir Paul is on the writing staff.[/font] Quote
Arrnea Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) Which is why after a page and some, the [b]only[/b] negative comments have come from Mushroom Kingdom members and the positive comments have come from [b]only[/b] non-MK members. Considering that the piece is largely anti-MK, not surprising at all. [center][img]http://img816.imageshack.us/img816/2667/mkbawww.png[/img][/center] Edited January 2, 2011 by Arrnea Quote
Sargun II Posted January 2, 2011 Report Posted January 2, 2011 Let the hate flow, MK. Schatt only grows on it. Quote
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