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[b]The MHA Newsletter: Refusing to prove that we exist since 2006.[/b][/center]

[color=#4040FF][b][size=6]Dear Planet Bob,[/size][/b][/color]
Relax, take your pants off, and sit a spell. You're getting too stressed. All the cancelled treaties, 10/10/10 craziness, boxes being indecently exposed, the War that Never Happened; you need a holiday. You need to get away from it all and take some time to chill out.

And to that end...

[size=150][b]We're Going to AUSTRALIA!!![/b][/size][/center]

HA! As if we have the budget for that. Instead, read this:

[color=#4040FF][b][size=5]Mostly Harmless News![/size][/b][/color]

[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]Dishing Out the Democracy[/size][/b][/color]
This was a busy month for Elections with 4 roles up for grabs. CyberNation's largest democracy this month held popular votes for the roles of Triumvir, Court Officer, Speaker of the Assembly, and Legislator of the Assembly. Also, editor of Don't Panic became open (read on, for the full story) but that mostly went to whomever was drunk enough to think this garbage was funny.

In the [b][color=#FF0000]Triumvir[/color][/b] race, incumbent Cable77 went up against the challenger CodyK. It was a good, clean race with the candidates offering an interesting choice between experience or youthful enthusiasm. In the end, Cable77 was the winner and reclaimed his spot on the big red chair.

The [b]Court[/b] Elections became a heated battle as Incubus, Myth, and FearUnited all put their hands up to wield the judicial sword. Words were bolded, caps were sometimes locked, but in the end the cool, calm determination of Myth won the votes and the white wig of justice.

And finally, our [b][color=#00BFFF]Speaker and Legislator of the Assembly[/color][/b] were chosen. AndyDe looked for a change of pace as he switched from Legislator to run for Speaker, and he successfully won the role. His competition, Scorpio, was also a winner as he ran for the position of Legislator. He ran unopposed but was popularly elected through a Confirmation Vote. Both enjoy liberal use of the aqua bull-horn of the people's voice.

[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]Here's A Gov We Prepared Earlier[/size][/b][/color]
So after all that nonsense, here's the current MHA Government line up:

[color=#FF0000]Triumvirate: Dynasty, Cable77, Jadoo1989[/color]

[color=#0000FF]Minister of Hitchhikers (Members): Pourquoi
Deputy: qldvespanut[/color]
[color=#00FF00]Minister of Towels (Economy): Draden
Deputy: masterbake[/color]
[color=#FF8000]Minister of BabelFish (Diplomacy): Queen Hoopdy the 1st
Deputy: AvengingAngel256[/color]
[color=#8000FF]Minister of Bad Poetry (Communications): priya91
Deputy: The Ultimate 747[/color]
[color=#FFBF00]Minister of Destructor Fleets (War): madspartus
Deputy: Scorn[/color]

[color=#00BFFF]Speaker of the HHA: AndyDe
Legislator of the HHA: Scorpio[/color]

Court Officers:
El Presidente
doc miles

[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]Hey Shorty, It's Your Binary Day![/size][/b][/color]

10/10/10 marked an important day for Hitchhikers all over Planet Bob as it was of course 42 Day, binary's nod to our great philosopher Douglas Adams. Where would we be if we didn't have the soothing clarity of The Answer? Where could we turn if The Answer remained ridiculously unknown? The Answer that took many lifetimes to solve; that united the Universe around one clear, unquestionable, definitive, God-like number.

[i]Forty Two.[/i]

Go on, say it out loud. Savor the flirty F, hear the crispness of the T's, the allure of the concluding "ooh". It's magic, innit? And such a simple answer that freed the world from endless questioning, from doubt and war over stupid stuff like religion and money. Forty Two saved us all, and we should always celebrate it and the man who brought it to us.

MHAil o/ Forty Two
MHAil o/ Douglas Adams
MHAil o/ Hitchhikers

[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]New Harmless Tag[/size][/b][/color]
And keeping with all things Hitchhikers, the MHA is pleased to unveil our new (OOC: Forum Tag) design:


After many, many, many submissions and just as many polls, the alliance settled on a fun and playful, yet understated and simple design to best represent our alliance. Much like our previous design which utilized the Hitchhiker's thumb, we have continued to be inspired by the series' imagery. Our Founders dreamt of an alliance that had fun and didn't take life so seriously, so the raspberry-pulling alien does that perfectly.

(OOC: The cheeky-tongued alien is, of course, from the cover of Adams' third novel, [i]Life, The Universe and Everything[/i], which also introduced the word "Belgium" as being the most offensive word in the galaxy.

So stick out your Belgium tongue and get this tag on today.)

[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]Our Recruiters Bring All the Recruits to the Yard[/size][/b][/color]

This month, the MHA's drive-by van of lollipops lured almost 100 new nations to our fine alliance, with our hard working recruiters reaching a peak of 692 Hitchhikers on September 21st. Plans were made to start donating nations to the unfortunate as belated 4th Birthday presents, but you try shoving groups of people into donation bins without someone kicking up a stink. Nothing but complaints.

In all seriousness, the Recruiting Department once again showed why they are the premiere Recruiters in Cybernations and maintaining the MHA as the largest alliance on Planet Bob, despite regular inactivity deletions and people being scared off by Scutterbug.

In addition, our wonderful Deputy of Bad Poetry Ultimate 747 ran our first ever Recruitment Message Competition, which delivered a deluge of fresh, witty and alluring new recruitment messages to tempt all the Recruits to our milkshakes or whatever the analogy I was last using was.

[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]...Ella, Ella, Ella[/size][/b][/color]

Just days after dropping all your treaties became vogue, and then not vogue, then possibly vogue again, the MHA upgraded it's long-standing Mutual Defense Pact with those awesome, stand-up folks in Umbrella. MHA has been lucky enough to call Umbrella our friends since 2008 and this upgrade to an Optional Aggression treaty signifies our long-standing bond, continued trust, and strong friendship. As many commentators said, it was [s]sad but necessary[/s] highly expected.

[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]Coming Up Next![/size][/b][/color]

We have opened up that pandora's box (No GOONS, not yours.) that is Court Reform. Like most alliances (we don't have the budget to research either), the MHA has always run a judicial system within the alliance since our foundation in 2006, however it wasn't until the Harmless Revolution in 2007 that the Court became an independant and efficient sword of justice. However, over time that sword has gotten a little blunt and a little too bloody, so we're cleaning it up and sharpening it again. Hopefully after much discussion, votes, and some charter Amendments, we'll have a new and improved Court system.

Yes, we get excited about Court systems.

[color=#4040FF][b][size=5]Just for Fun[/size][/b][/color]
[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]Caption Competition Winner[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Pourquoi and Rugby[/i]

Below are some of the funniest entries DP received, as well as a named winner and two runners up.

"This shiny gun looks like it needs a hug"
[b]Kevanovia [/b]

"If you shoot kitty I will die all most intently but the death P.E.T.A will give you shale be unfathomable."
[b]Loki Grim[/b]


Guy with the gun: "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."

[b]The King[/b]

"I didn't know that was your cookie!"
[b]Cody K[/b]

[b][color=#BF8000]Runners Up:[/color][/b]
1) "Fine, I'll tell you where the catnip is!"
[b]Anu Drake[/b]

2) "Ok....you can haz mah cheezeburgerz"

"If you strike me down, I will rise up and become more powerful then you can ever imagine. Perhaps a tiger or something."

[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]Caption Competition[/size][/b][/color]


God bless the Internet. [i](Not a submission. Yet.)[/i]

[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]The Editor's Drinking.[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Pourquoi[/i]

So in rl, Mr Pourquoi got a job. Now, in the past the 'biggest' job I've done was working as a librarian, which consisted of seven hours sat behind a desk. This new job, however, is as a waiter, which requires seven hours (I get paid for 7 hours, but its closer to 8) of standing, walking and running. So by the time I get back home at 2:30am with my feet & back killing I like to enjoy a good tasty and VERY alcoholic drink. One I've enjoyed recently - so recently in fact that I'm drinking at the same time as I'm writing this - is a colourful cocktail called a Blue Lagoon.

[u]Blue Lagoon[/u]
Vodka 35ml
Blue Curacao 35ml
Lemonade top up
Lemon Juice dash
Orange/Lemon/Line to garnish

1) Get a highball glass, fill it half way with ice and add the ingredients in the order above.
2) Drink.

The result is a very nice drink indeed. I've had them both in bars and at home - bars tend to serve them with a cherry garnish and a little umbrella thingy - and enjoyed them every time. The drink is a battle between dry and fruity sweet as the orange flavoured curacao collides with the sweeter lemonade, on top of which just a dash of lemon provides a slight citrus edge. The result is about three different flavours coming through at various times, making this a great drink to sip and enjoy.

Oh yeah, and did I mention, It's BLUE!!!. Sorry for that loss of decorum, but it's BLUE! Which personally I don't care about, I mean it doesn't matter what colour a drink is right? So long as it tastes nice... That said, It's BLUE!!!

Thus it makes for a great talking point at parties. At Uni I took to taking a bottle of blue curacao to every party I went to so I could make myself one of these drinks and watch people's faces light up when they saw a blue drink. Very neat and a nice conversation piece, not to mention it tastes pretty good and It's BLUE!!!

So yeah, big thumbs up on this one. See you next edition. Cheers.

[u][i]Publisher's Note: So in love with this Cocktail, our fearless Editor has run away with Brooke Shields. The rest of this edition was therefore completed by monkeys with typewriters.[/i][/u]

[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]Vogon Poetry[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Dynasty[/i]

Many micro moles malice multiple main mucks making mauling movingly maddening meddling mostly messy makes mashing marvelous movie men marking minty mice mapping million mile mousse moose milking massive multitudes mailing measly measles motivating multicasting mangos mightily mooning merry muddles mining mills mooring miniature milliliter mountains. Slippery slopes slack seamlessly smiling smart sandwiches subordinating sour suckers sanding silly sand snorkels swinging sanely scaring syrupy salads singing slothful signatures sapping sorry serfs surfing several snacking snares surrounding SUVs sliding spoonful sized sickles slicing splicing special sounds sleeping sore soups stabbing strange symmetrical seasonal synergizing slacking spaghetti spaciously surprising sagaciously sashays shielding Scaramouchs slashing schnooks serendipitously sesquipedalian sesquipedalianistic shampoos sarcastically soon synchronizing several seashell sales simultaneously. Escargo cries “yummy!” and the spoon nods with empathetic dignity while perturbing painful sores scorching tennis balls. Land ore football makes snowmen shout songs of pyramids fighting sandcastles whilst orchestras orchestrate long orchestrations according to many large books of the colors seven.

[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]Demotivation: Helping Prevent Panic[/size][/b][/color]
[i]By: Andrew Eacorn[/i]


[i]By: Various Members of the MHA [/i]

Cheap Recycling company to take unwanted files from a specialist Italian plumbing company which has recently closed it's door.

For Sale:
CB against GOONS.
Price: Your soul.

For Sale:
Map of the Treaty Web in 3 month's time which teleported from the future through a random time-warp, already used to state "I saw this coming" and "About time" in every single announcement. Now has no use.
Price: $100 ONO
Note: Buyer accepts all responsibility for tears in the space-time continuum.

Industrial stength paint removal to erase incorrectly laid lines.

[color=#4040FF][b][size=5]The Last Word[/size][/b][/color]

"Don't Panic" is perhaps the best advice you'll ever receive apart from "Don't stare at the sun" and "No glove, no love". Whether you've found yourself dropped by your long-term treaty partner, in an dodgy back-channel discussing a fabricated war against GOONS, or in an argument with Rebel Virginia - the words "Don't Panic" have universal use and appeal. It's a calming and instructive lesson one must take for whatever Planet Bob throws at you.

Use it liberally, my fellow nation rulers, and we shall see you next month!

[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]Staff Listing[/size][/b][/color]
[b]Pourquoi[/b], the lost, drunk Editor
[b]Rugby[/b], the guy who put the slew of articles together, made a few himself and completed the beginning and ending words of wisdom that you enjoy
[b]Scytale[/b], the busy editor who does a few things everywhere
[b]Dynasty[/b], vogon Poet that rivals the Azgoth's poetry in potency
[b]Doctor Octagonapus[/b], the spelling corrector that is getting paid a lot to use word
[b]Andrew Earcorn[/b], collector of odd demotivational posters
[b]Belgium[/b], this issue's bad word
[b]Oprah[/b], okay so she is not part of the staff, but we did use her picture
[b]Bubbles at Typewriter #1[/b], the monkey that volunteered
[b]Mr BoBo at Typewriter #2[/b], the monkey that ate all of our Bananas
[b]Kong Jr at Typewriter #3[/b], the monkey that wanted a carrot

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[quote name='Rugby' timestamp='1287364499' post='2486701']
[color=#8000FF][b][size=4]Caption Competition[/size][/b][/color]


"I'm in ur mouth, fixing ur cavities."

On Topic:

Very nice news guys. Needed more explosions in the background though.

Edited by Dexomega
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[quote name='alyster' timestamp='1287419277' post='2487056']
How on earth can anyone write the Vogon poetry :awesome:

Also nice tag!

It's a deepy guarded mystery. Some say Dynasty seals himself in a sound proof room that contains only a keyboard. Blindfolded, he touch-types the words while electric pulses distract his brain from realizing what he's typing.

Others say he has a demonic bottomless Scrabble bag and several mute and blind monks (one on each continent) take it in turn spelling out one word each. Driven insane by their hell-spawn creation, only Dynasty can put their nonsense together.

Either way, it arrives at the Don't Panic office in a sealed envelope, where neither fools nor the brave dare to look at it's contents until it goes to print.

And even then, we wear sunnies. For our own protection.

Edited by Rugby
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[quote name='Crymson' timestamp='1287509040' post='2487788']
You guys must have been relieved that said war never happened; otherwise, you'd have yet again had to suffer the trials and travails of asking someone else to decide what you should do!
Actually, everyone was giddy for another war....:(

But yeah,

Glad to see you're still blaming others for your own personal failures Crymson!

In the previous edition of Don't Panic there was a used violin for sale, I'll have to inquire about it's availability so I can more appropriately set the mood when reading of your love for MHA.

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