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LEAK: New Mexico's Nuclear Weapon Project


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[center][i][b]Silly Walks and Nuclear Ambitions; New Mexico's Partnership[/i][/b][/center]

[b]Anonymous sources within the Silly Walks Party and the government of New Mexico have recently leaked information detailing the Republic of New Mexico's nuclear weapons development program.[/b] According to a politician within the government, the fledgling nation never planned to announce its development of nuclear weapons until after conducting its first test. In a world where every nation and their brother has the bomb, this may not seem that shocking. In fact, many would wonder why the development of nuclear arms is not publically on the top of [b]every[/b] nation's agenda. But once RABN confirmed that the sources were accurate, the reports contained some troubling information.

The Republic of New Mexico began its nuclear ambitions immediately after exiting the tri-protectorate agreement established after the Tahoe War. The nation had the means to secretly obtain uranium; however, the nation did not have the technology to begin weapon development. A leaked dossier indicates that the fledgling nation, rather than seeking out alliances with stronger nations to eventually co-develop a nuclear weapon, contracted the help of Global Initiatives Incorporated, a private military and weapon development company based within the nation. Global Initiatives accepted the contract, estimated to be worth billions of dollars, on a structured payment plan. Also part of the contract was permission for Global Initiatives to expand within New Mexico as well as an option to be the sole provider of arms for the New Mexican Armed Forces. The leak also indicated that the partnership was close to finishing development of a test bomb soon.

The question now is what this means for the region as a whole. Recently, the United States was attacked by a terrorist group with a nuclear weapon in Texas. Our sources came forward with the information after the attack, worried about the potential of such a devastating weapon ending up in the company's arsenal. The world has already seen the destructive power of a nuclear weapon in the hands of an unaligned organization. Now, the nation of New Mexico has cooperatively developed a weapon with one, and there are no details in the dossier or contract regarding just how far the government is going to make sure the weapon will not end up in GI hands. In a world where every country and their brother has the bomb, many would wonder why it's such a bad thing that the bomb would end up in the private sector, but one can only picture the tragedy of Texas when thinking about the nature of Global Initiative and their possible intentions.

[i]The Rebel Army Broadcasting Network has no intention of releasing the source of this article.[/i]

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SANTA FE - Weeks after the apparent leak from government sources, the Republic of New Mexico finally broke its silence on its nuclear plan. Senator Joseph Kalinski (R - GRANT), head of the senatorial commission for nuclear development spoke earlier today at a press conference concerning the nation's nuclear ambitions among other issues.

"The Republic of New Mexico is actively seeking to carry out its nuclear plan. The Republic of New Mexico does not feel threatened at this time by any outside country, and the global community should realize that the weapon is not being pointed anywhere, but due to the growing number of nuclear states and recent nuclear terrorist attacks, this nation feels it is in the best interest of our people to be in possession of a combat-ready nuclear weapon of our own design."

When asked about the validity of the leaked reports, the senator refused to comment. Among other things he refused to comment on were whether or not the government has obtained a source of uranium for the project or whether or not the government was in cahoots with Global Initiative for the development of the weapon. "The government does have civilian contractors assisting us with development at this time," was the only thing the senator would say on the issue. The senator did mention that the program was currently "progressing as planned."

The senator also announced that the country was seeking to use the technology for civilian purposes, such as nuclear powerplants, and it has no intention of disclosing the planned building cites for international security lists.

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In response to the government's difficulty finding a uranium source, New Mexican comedian and pundit Roger Jenkins put out the following want-ad on his website, which has received numerous hits.

[quote]WANTED: Fun-loving government with uranium source

Young, strapping government seeking other government w/ uranium source. We enjoy long elections by the beach and silly-walks. We have a low inflation rate and a [i]big[/i] "research and development budget" (if you know what we mean *wink*). Preferably democratic society. Communist/fascist/totalitarian states need not apply, military juntas OK (We love a wild side). Must enjoy sunrises and long elections by the beach. [b]Must love silly-walks.[/b] [/quote]

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While our regional neighbor's concern is noted, the manner in which it was presented is flat, sounding like something from a fortune cookie. As was said, we have no intention of using them, merely having them.

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