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The Commonwealth Inquisitor


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[center][img]http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j245/Da5nake/CSNSeal.png[/img][/center]
[hr][hr][hr][hr][center][img]http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l133/Fronz_2006/CSN/cominqal.png[/img][/center]
[right][sup]*Image courtesy of Fronz[/sup]
[b][u][font=andale mono][size=6][color=gold]Volume I[/color]; [color=maroon]Issue One[/color][/size][/font][/u][/b][/right][hr][hr][hr][hr]
[center][b][size=4][color=maroon]INTRODUCTION[/color][/size][/b][/center]

Denizens of Bob,

It seems that everyone in their brother have decided that coming out with a newsletter is the best thing to do. Perhaps it's to kill boredom, perhaps its to make the rest of the world aware that they still exist, but I assure you that this newsletter, in its entirety, is not the product of shallow meandering. For the better part of two and a half years the [color=maroon]Commonwealth[/color] has talked about doing a newsletter (notably by the now defunct democratic Senate and myself), but not until now has it actually been done. I hereby present [color=maroon][u][b]The Commonwealth Inquisitor[/b][/u][/color]. This will be a bi-weekly publication in which a variety of subjects will be covered. Also a shout out to Fronz and Allied_Threat: Fronz made the banner and Allied_Threat, well, you are a crazy man good sir; I hope slaying the heretics in The Mafia served you well.
[hr][hr]
[center][b][size=4][color=maroon]ALLIANCE CONTACT[/color][/size][/b][/center]

The [color=maroon]Commonwealth[/color] does have [url=http://"http://cncommonwealth.com"]forums[/url] set and we welcome everyone to stop by for whatever reason. [url=http://cncommonwealth.com/forum/index.php/board,4.0.html]Click here if you are a foreign diplomat[/url] or [url=http://cncommonwealth.com/forum/index.php/board,3.0.html]click here if you want to join the Commonwealth[/url]. We can also be found on IRC on the irc.coldfront.net network in #csn. Everyone with ~ and & are government, @ is some government and people we like a lot, and % are for people who think they're special, but we just don't want to hurt their feelings so we just tell them that they are special. Everyone gets an obligatory + (voice), but if makes you happy, we can tell you that we are giving you special treatment. Also note that although we are very lenient on our forums and IRC channels doesn't mean you can stop by and be rather rude. If you are found to be excessively rude, you will be smacked on the head with the ban hammer, but we're nice enough to give you ice should you repent. If it's more than excessive, may Admin have mercy on your soul for Goose shall not.

[center][b][size=4][color=maroon]COMMONWEALTH GOVERNMENT[/color][/size][/b][/center]

Arouet, our former Deputy Head of State, was recently replaced by Captain Impavid. SpacingOutMan, myself, was then appointed to the office of Minister of Foreign Affairs. With these changes, the current government now stands:
[center]
[b][u]Executive Leaders[/u][/b]
[b]Head of State[/b]: Goose
[b]Deputy Head of State[/b]: Captain Impavid

[b][u]Ministers[/u][/b]
[b]Minister of Defense[/b]: WickedJ
[b]Minister of Foreign Affairs[/b]: SpacingOutMan
[b]Minister of the Interior[/b]: hhawk

[b][u]Directors[/u][/b]
[b]Director of Education[/b]: Lord Brendan
[b]Director of Finance[/b]: montypython
[b]Director of Recruitment[/b]: Raptor Jesus[/center]

[center][b][size=4][color=maroon]COMMONWEALTH TREATY UPDATE[/color][/size][/b][/center]

Within the past month we signed a protectorate agreement with the alliance Imperium Hominis. Touch them and we'll touch you, hardcore.
[hr][hr]
[center][b][size=4][color=maroon]BACON GIRL OF THE [BI]WEEK[/color][/size][/b][/center]

We, at the [color=maroon]Commonwealth[/color] love our bacon, and we love it even more with beer. Every issue of this publication we will post a different Bacon Girl. This week's bacon girl is:

[center][img]http://bacontoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/3442916875_870bbb7fff.jpg[/img][/center]

If you don't love bacon, then you are committing a crime. This girl loves bacon, therefore hot girls love bacon. If you want a hot girl, you will like bacon. You all should be implored/brainwashed into the t-shirt she is wearing. ;)

Also, what is the Bacon Girl of the Week without obligatory bacon porn!?

[img]http://weblogs.cltv.com/entertainment/tv/metromix/Bacon.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/plated-candied-bacon.jpg[/img]

And this one might be safe for all of the kiddies and the office place, so [b]BEWARE[/b]... it's bacon in her nude and natural state. It's so beautiful!

[spoiler][img]http://www.blork.org/blog/imyjiz4/instant-bacon-raw.jpg[/img][/spoiler]
[hr][hr]

[center][b][size=4][color=maroon]COMMONWEALTH GENERAL STATES[/color][/size][/b]
[sup]*As of 6.10.10[/sup][/center]
[center][img]http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i232/Torqameda/Sstates.jpg[/img][/center]

Within the last few weeks we surpassed the 30k Average Strength milestone, although we've been fluctuating in total nation strength. This increase in average strength, though, can largely be attributed to the great work of [b]montypython[/b] and others in the Department of Finance; they have been working day in and day out to make sure that our tech deals are going perfectly. As a result, great strides have been made in our growth in technology. We also finally passed the 1k nuke mark. Hopefully as more nations get their Manhattan Projects, that number will skyrocket.
[hr][hr]
[center][b][size=4][color=maroon]COMIC OF THE [BI]WEEK[/color][/size][/b]
[spoiler][img]http://www.flashasylum.com/db/files/Comics/Matt/Contrary-to-what-one-might-expect,-fat-people-know-a-LOT-about-dieting.png[/img][/spoiler]
I have a soft spot for Cyanide and Happiness comics.
[/center]
[hr][hr]


[center][b][size=4][color=maroon]THE STATE OF MAROON[/color][/size][/b]
[sup]*Courtesy of Snake[/sup][/center]

This first graph is the 6 month trend (since January) of all of Maroon.
[spoiler][img]http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j245/Da5nake/ChartsandStuff.jpg[/img][/spoiler]
[spoiler][img]http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j245/Da5nake/MaroonStats20.png[/img][/spoiler]

Also, I'd like to give a warm welcome to Imperium Hominis (CSN's protectorate) to the Maroon sphere. Their stats have been included above.

[hr][hr]

[center][b][size=4][color=maroon][NEW] EMBASSY POLICY[/color][/size][/b][/center]
Due to the increasing amount of alliances in the planet, the following [b]embassy[/b] policy will be enforced with due vigilance:

1. Your alliance must have a minimum of 20 members, though exceptions can be made at the direction of the Minister of Foreign Affairs or executive government.
2. Your alliance must have some form of government and forums.
3. Upon applying for an embassy, your username on the forums must be your in-game name.
4. Upon applying for an embassy, you must properly fill out the diplomat application.
5. If you are applying for an embassy after it was placed in Purgatory (if your embassy was inactive for two months), you will be subject to a probationary period of a month. If your embassy is not active within the month of this probationary period, your alliance will lose privileges to a private forum and will be allowed to only have a public consulate for a period of 3 months after applying.
6. Should your alliance, or representative, continue a streak of inactivity (you will be warned in advance should your embassy be on the brink of deletion), then it is at the discretion of the Minister of Foreign Affairs and executive government as to whether or not your alliance will be allowed to have a private embassy at all. A public consulate can be granted (this consists of a single public thread in a designated forum) no matter what the activity of an alliance is, or whatever its size is.

[center][b][size=4][color=maroon]SPEAKING OF PURGATORY[/color][/size][/b][/center]
As a friendly reminder, the following alliances are at risk of being purged:

[u][b]*The Brain: 3.28.10[/b][/u]
[u]*The Corporation: 5.16.10[/u]
[b]*CRAP: 4.12.10[/b]
[u]*East India Company: 5.11.10[/u]
[color=red][u][b]*Federation of Buccaneers: 12.8.09[/b][/u][/color]
[u][b]*GDA: 3.24.10[/b][/u]
[color=red][u][b]* Grämlins: 1.5.10[/b][/u][/color]
[color=red][u][b]*The International: 1.20.10[/b][/u][/color]
[u][b]*LOST: 3.20.10[/b][/u]
[u][b]*MHA: 4.15.10[/b][/u]
[color=red][u][b]*MK: 11.18.09[/b][/u][/color]
[color=red][u][b]*NSO: 12.22.09[/b][/u][/color]
[color=red][u][b]*Nutty North Koreans: 10.9.09[/b][/u][/color]
[color=red][u][b]*ODN: 11.19.09[/b][/u][/color]
[u]*PC: 5.3.10[/u]
[color=red][u][b]*SLCB: 11.24.09[/b][/u][/color]
[u][b]*STA: 3.13.10[/b][/u]
[u]*Silence: 5.3.10[/u]
[color=red][u][b]*Sparta: 12.22.09[/b][/u][/color]
[u][b]*Through Yggdrasil's Roots: 4.19.10[/b][/u]
[u][b]*UBD: 4.22.10[/b][/u]
[u][b]*VE: 4.26.10[/b][/u]

If you have an underline, you are getting close to the 2 month mark. If you are also bold, it means you are either just at the 2 month mark, or are beyond it. If you are both bold and underlined, and red, you are beyond the point of no return. As this is a new policy, all people who update their embassy in the next two weeks will received 100% amnesty. If not, say good bye to your typed pixels.
[hr][hr]

[center][b][size=4][color=maroon]QUOTE OF THE ISSUE[/color][/size][/b][/center]

This issue's Quote of the Issue comes from a rather well known figure on Bob. He uses a distinct font color (blue) and has a rather poignant stance as time progresses. I'd like to congratulate Rebel_Virginia for being quoted in this issue:
[quote]
[color=blue]I see CnG has cut down on the UPN bashing. Tell me, have they decided to cozy up to you? Maybe if you're lucky you might even convince them to join your little bloc.[/color][/quote]

This gem can be found in the [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=87318]thread[/url] discussing the alliance-wide duel between UPN and BAPS. Perhaps one could say there are better quotes, but none made me chuckle as RV's did. Just the thought of UPN joining CnG makes me giggle all over. Personally, I am not the biggest fan of UPN, but where does Rebel_Virginia get this stuff? Maybe you're a tad naive, or not RV, who knows. Maybe you are right; maybe UPN has warmed up to CnG and they are in the corner making out now.

But seriously, come on now; that's like saying NPO kissed up to SuperFriends! and is now sitting in our lap like a good dog. Over the course of time, I have agreed with Rebel, and I have disagreed with Rebel, but man does this take the cake, though it's not abnormal of your recent trend. Keep on smoking the good stuff, because I know I want some, though I must admit that whatever you're on pales in comparison to Ram of Gramlins. Keep doing what you usual do, because although I almost always disagree with you, you are quite the entertainment.

Also, thanks for picking blue and not a crappy color like yellow. Seriously, my eyes thank you.

[hr][hr]

[center][b][size=4][color=maroon]INTERVIEW OF THE [BI]WEEK: RavingMainyYak[Fark][/color][/size][/b][/center]

This issue headlines an interview with RavingMainyYak, a casual Farker who is (obviously) farking crazy. It's a fairly lengthy interview, but it's an interesting read, notably covering the perspective of Fark on a few topics.

[spoiler]<SpacingOutMan> Howdy
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> Good evening
<SpacingOutMan> I'm CSN's Minister of Foreign Affairs (recently appointed) and I was wondering if I could have a few minutes of your time to ask you a few questions in a simple Q&A.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> Sure thing. Ask away.
<SpacingOutMan> Well, first off I'd just like to say it's a pleasure to meet you mate. I guess my first question would be: what is your opinion of CSN?
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> A good solid alliance with a lot of good folks ... one or two former Farkers. You guys are one of the few AAs that understands what it is to be a Farker
<SpacingOutMan> We have WickedJ and CaptainImpavid, though sometimes I wonder if we should have made them stay in Fark. ;P lol
<SpacingOutMan> Anyways, what is your general opinion about SuperFriends! from your own perspective?
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> In RL, I grew up the oldest of seven kids, 6 boys and a girl. We bickered and fought among ourselves, but the gods be merciful on anone outside the family to picked on one of us. That is the essence of SF.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> We do our own things, we squabble on occasion, but we have each others' backs
<SpacingOutMan> Do you think that SF!, as a bloc, should try harder to get closer with one another? Or do you think it's fine the way it is in the state your explained it?
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> we need to work harder at communicating more effectively. and it would be easier if our respective FA policies were better aligned, but that said, we are all a little different for a number of reasons and our variances of FA actually gives us more maneuvering room.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> I prefer our model over, say CnG, which is less a bloc and more a mega alliance
<SpacingOutMan> Speaking of "variances of FA", it is inherently obvious that the majority of the bloc (save for Fark, RnR, and RoK) are in Maroon. What is your overall opinion of maroon?
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> as colors go, I rather like it. In truth, I pay little attention to the team colors. Those colors (Purple comes to mind) that try to act as a bloc tend to fail miserably.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> SF is a very interesting blend of AAs with common interests that have little to do with team color
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> any other questions for me?
<SpacingOutMan> Sorry mate
<SpacingOutMan> You still here?
<SpacingOutMan> Something came up irl that had to be taken care of, sorry. :/
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> I am
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> That's been the story of my life all evening :D
<SpacingOutMan> Sorry to hear that mate.
<SpacingOutMan> I have a few more questions, so I won't take long.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> the perks of gov service
<SpacingOutMan> lol
<SpacingOutMan> Where do you see Fark, specifically, a year from now?
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> It does seem that whether we like it or not, Farkistan has become a fulcrum in the shifting forces of political power on Bob.
<SpacingOutMan> A very interesting position looking at your history.
<SpacingOutMan> If you were to compare the resolve of Fark when it was fighting GOONS, and the resolve of Fark now, how do you think Fark has improved itself over the years?
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> The Unjust War (before my time, but the oldtimers spin many a story) was about survival... and the same mindset displayed in the movie "Apollo 13" - "failure is not an option" .. Today we're bigger, a little (I hope) smarter, but we enter each war with the idea that we can fight to the death, and then keep going on if we have to.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> I sold over 2K infra in the last war in order to shring my nation enough to take on a politically important target. It cost me a bundle to rebuild enough to continue fighting... and I would do it again if needed. That's just how we roll.
<SpacingOutMan> So with that in mind, would you consider Fark to be friends > infra?
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> Funny you should ask that. I'm in chat with another farker ATM and we were just discussing the social aspect of our community. Easily the social part of this game far outweighs the mechanics of the actual game.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> But at the same time you cannot totally ignore the game
<SpacingOutMan> Heh
<SpacingOutMan> How much of Farkistan actually comes from the Farkistan website nowadays might I ask? I only ask because you have alliances like facepunch that have surging numbers.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> We are doing another recruting drive today at fark.com.... Greenlight 4.0 ... the owner allows us about once a year to do an active recruiting effort.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> Today's surge in new members is pretty good. Now the trick is to keep them here.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> Not all out members come through Fark, but I would say the majority do.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> We do not spend a lot of time hunting down members from within CN... our community has a certain quality that is significanly different than what you typically find on the OWF
<SpacingOutMan> Yea, so I have noticed... you guys have your crazy news articles, etc.
<SpacingOutMan> Wicked also mentioned your Greenlight policy, which is pretty cool.
<SpacingOutMan> I must ask, though: what is exactly up with Fark's radio silence? I've heard a few conflicting things and am just curious is all.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> :grin: that's our MiniTru group. I was in charge of that department until a couple weeks ago. I finally handined it over to one of my deputies
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> Radio Silence......
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> We find it very useful
<SpacingOutMan> Why do you find it useful, out of curiousity?
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> First, we find the level of discourse on the OWF to be ... well, polite words escape me. You cannot win an argument with a troll. So on that level, why bother.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> More importantly, it keeps us in the shadows
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> Those who base their FA decisions on what happens on the OWF see us as a mysterious group
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> Some even think we're all about the lutz.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> And underestimate us.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> When going to war, there's nothing better than being underestimated.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> Meanwhile, we may not say much - but we do listen. We monitor the OWF and have a good pulse on what's happening across Bob.
<SpacingOutMan> Well, I doubt anyone underestimates Fark now seeing your track record.
<SpacingOutMan> In the future, I plan (as MoFA) in getting closer with Fark. How do you see CSN and Fark relations progressing in the future?
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> You would think so. And yet I have heard whispers that would indicate otherwise. Time will tell, and we are busy rebuilding. For better or for worse, if there's a major war on Bob, we'll be in the thick of it.
<SpacingOutMan> Ah but of course; the ignorant are necessary for the amusement for the rest of us.
<SpacingOutMan> <SpacingOutMan> In the future, I plan (as MoFA) in getting closer with Fark. How do you see CSN and Fark relations progressing in the future?
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> As you pointed out, Imp and wickedj came from here, and they continue to maintain social relationships with many of us. Goose and I can have jousting battles using canes and HoverRounds... so we have much in common. :) But seriously, it comes back to my earlier comment about communications.
<SpacingOutMan> Indeed, it does.
<SpacingOutMan> Perhaps a seemingly silly question, but we at CSN take this topic seriously: bacon & beer? more bacon & beer? or infinite amounts of bacon and beer?
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> If we chat about our mutual interests on a regular basis, and share other information (an example would be GOD's recent treaty with GOONs) .. there was a fair amount of unhappiness on our side because Xiph waited until the very last moment to let us know it was happening.
<SpacingOutMan> Ah I see.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> there can never be too much bacon or beer, so infinate would be the correct answer
<SpacingOutMan> Oh good God, I can tell our future relations will be very fruitful.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> Back to the GOD thing... it's not that we want to dictate what other AAs choose to do, but we would have liked the opportuinity to explain why we still have issues with GOONs
<SpacingOutMan> And given your history, that makes sense.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> so that GOD could act with that knowledge
<SpacingOutMan> Well, I can promise you (within my reasonable ability) that won't happen with us.
<SpacingOutMan> Thats everything from my end though. I was also wondering, given your permission, I could use this for our newsletter? If there is anything you want to remove, that's fine.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> No problem. Wickedj told me you would be popping in and wanted material for your newsletter. All that's been said is fine with me
<SpacingOutMan> Alright, thanks mate! :)
<SpacingOutMan> I'll be frequenting your forums a helluva lot more in the future.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> Good to hear.
<SpacingOutMan> Again, thanks for your time. Have a good night mate.
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> Now, it's time for me to get my beauty sleep
<RavingMainyYak[FARK]> :)
<SpacingOutMan> lol Night[/spoiler]

[hr][hr]

[center][b][size=4][color=maroon]CLOSING THOUGHTS OF THE WEEK[/color][/size][/b][/center]

Hopefully this publication will keep up and have a bit more substance in the future. This issue is, more or less, a stepping stone to a bigger and brighter publication. etc. etc. I know not many of you care, but we in CSN sure as Hell do. So derp to all of you who think this is a waste of a time... [u][b]DERP[/b][/u] to you. :v:
[hr][hr][hr][hr]
[center][img]http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j245/Da5nake/CSNSealEND.png[/img][/center]

Like it. Hate it. It's here. :gag:

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[quote name='Penkala' date='15 June 2010 - 03:10 PM' timestamp='1276628991' post='2338506']
We actually don't really care about bacon that much.
[/quote]

On the contrary blasphemer... dammit, Allied_Threat is in Monos Archein (God help them all). When he comes back to CSN, I will have him smite you. :ph34r:

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[quote name='constapatedape' date='15 June 2010 - 02:18 PM' timestamp='1276629514' post='2338522']
Love the Bacon Girl, and i totally updated our embassy yesterday :P
[/quote]
Newsletter was put together about a week ago and we've been fine tuning it since. if its any consolation ill allow you to nuke SOM

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[quote name='LegendoftheSkies' date='15 June 2010 - 03:18 PM' timestamp='1276629477' post='2338520']
I see no article about WickedJ getting forcibly expelled from CSN, so I am afraid there is little in this newsletter that suits my interests.

...Bacon's always good though. Just more ZI'ing Wicked next time.
[/quote]

<@WickedJ[CSN]> [15:13] <&Legendoftheskies[Corp]> also my last post in the Corp embassy was less than a week ago you tards
[quote name='constapatedape' date='15 June 2010 - 03:18 PM' timestamp='1276629514' post='2338522']
Love the Bacon Girl, and i totally updated our embassy yesterday :P
[/quote]

To both of you: I apologize. This was supposed to be posted [OOC: before I went out of the country], but alas it was not, so the list is somewhat outdated by a few days. :unsure:

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[quote name='SpacingOutMan' date='15 June 2010 - 03:05 PM' timestamp='1276628733' post='2338503']
Within the past month we signed a protectorate agreement with the alliance Imperium Hominis. Touch them and we'll touch you, hardcore.
[/quote]

Kind of ironic timing.

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[quote name='Lord Brendan' date='15 June 2010 - 03:54 PM' timestamp='1276631639' post='2338560']
Kind of ironic timing.
[/quote]

Aye, it is. :mellow: Oh well, it's almost as fashionable as celebrated a belated birthday after the person died. Except, IH isn't dead... yet. :v: That was, after all, AT's secret mission.

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[quote name='bzelger' date='15 June 2010 - 04:57 PM' timestamp='1276639032' post='2338694']
:o

I have sent our finest diplomat over to post in our embassy to save it from the bulldozers.
[/quote]

[quote] Today at 03:23:10 PM
by bzelger [/quote]

oh dear lord

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[quote name='LegendoftheSkies' date='15 June 2010 - 03:18 PM' timestamp='1276629477' post='2338520']
I see no article about WickedJ getting forcibly expelled from CSN, so I am afraid there is little in this newsletter that suits my interests.

...Bacon's always good though. Just more ZI'ing Wicked next time.
[/quote]


My beloved ally is wise and speaks great truth.

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[quote name='Spaarlaamp' date='15 June 2010 - 06:33 PM' timestamp='1276641203' post='2338727']
Yay, we need more useless alliance updates!


[img]http://i.fok.nl/s/we.gif[/img]
[/quote]

Yay, we need more useless [OOC: OWF] posts. :ehm:

c wut i did thar

Thanks for the support folks.

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[quote name='Spaarlaamp' date='15 June 2010 - 05:33 PM' timestamp='1276641203' post='2338727']
Yay, we need more useless alliance updates!


[img]http://i.fok.nl/s/we.gif[/img]
[/quote]
u mad :P

Just for that im going to post this in our embassy

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