Sir Paul Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 (edited) [color=red][b]The Tabloid Tribune[/color][/b] [b]One Step Ahead of the Truth[/b] Since September 2003 [i]Issue #158 - World Edition | [url=http://pacificorder.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=107577]Pacifican Edition[/url][/i] [center][img]http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/433/imperialclerklogo.png[/img][/center] __________ [b]PNN Headquarters, SIR PAUL[/b]: Despite my [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=82744&st=0&p=2227247&#entry2227247]previous call[/url] for members of the Mushroom Kingdom Co-Prosperity Sphere to cease and desist from infringing on Pacifican fashion sense, some drones of the MKCPS are still decked out in counterfeit Pacifican garments. Just see for yourself: [img]http://i46.tinypic.com/w99t3s.jpg[/img] [img]http://i47.tinypic.com/rkvpf6.jpg[/img] [img]http://i43.tinypic.com/ipxnrd.jpg[/img] It has become clear that the problem is that nothing is quite as fabulous as donning the jackboots, the trench coats, and the black and blue. However, we have put our Pacifican tailors to work and had them craft several new garments for the members of the MKCPS so they can show their hegemony pride: [img]http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee215/RussianMight/Photoshop27.png[/img] [img]http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee215/RussianMight/Photoshop28.png[/img] [img]http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee215/RussianMight/Photoshop29.png[/img] Feel free to make use of the above images and show your MKCPS pride! Best wishes and you’re welcome, Sir Paul Imperial Officer of the New Pacific Order Graphics designed by Romanov IV ----- [b]The World Remembers Vanguard[/b] [img]http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/4377/candlelightvigil.jpg[/img] [i]A candlelight vigil is held in remembrance of the alliance[/i] [b]QuiteTheNationName, MUSHROOM KINGDOM[/b]: A mere two months ago on April 1, 2010, what everyone thought was a joke turned out to be the latest conquest of a sovereign alliance. Vanguard, founded by QuiteTheUserName and Revanche on July 11, 2007 came to an end at the hands of Archon a mere three months from their three year anniversary. Vanguard ended their independence on February 22, 2009, when Londo Mollari announced their [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=49538]induction[/url] into the Complaints and Grievances Union. A proud alliance known for their outspoken members, their nominal “independence” ended when Denial, citing a need for more Lebensraum, launched an [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=83497&st=0]LOLkrieg[/url] and absorbed Vanguard into the Kingdom proper. [img]http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/2505/quitethenationname.png[/img] [i]The founder of Vanguard, now a peon to the Toadstool Throne[/i] Following in the footsteps of other post-Karmic alliances who grow through merger instead of recruitment, this shortcut to success allowed the Mushroom Kingdom to achieve sanction the same day Archon announced his thousand-day Reich. The announcement, however, contained an odd statement that confused some and worried others. "we defeated the number one alliance – [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=83949&st=0&p=2252381&#entry2252381]twice[/url]" While the Mushroom Kingdom was involved in the TOP front during the most recent hegemonic war, the Kingdom was not involved in any other conflict that saw a number one alliance defeated (INC, GPA, NPO, etc) unless, of course, Archon was referring to his heroic conquest of FAN, who is number one in our hearts. The other alternative is that Archon considers the members of the G15 vassal states that do his bidding. In addition, bragging about taking down the number one alliance – twice, indicates a willingness to do it a third time. The Mostly Harmless Alliance, although a member in good standing of the MKCPS, has expressed concern regarding the Kingdom's latest annexations. When asked if the Kingdom had any additional planned annexations, Archon responded "Vanguard chose to be one with the Fatherland and I have no intentions of extending my realm proper at this time. However, the dissolution and annexation of MHA into the Kingdom would answer the theoretical question of a legal way to dissolve the Harmlins treaty. The Kingdom stands ready to assist our allies should they require it." To help protect their eternal friend and ally MHA, the New Pacific Order is doing all it can to help ensure that MHA is no longer in the Kingdom's cross hairs. In a bold statement of self-sacrifice, Mary the Fantabulous called on MHA to stand down and let the Order carry the burden of being the top-sanctioned alliance: "House Pacifica has withstood his envy before. Let us take his anger." A memorial walk has been planned for July 11 for all those who wish to remember everything that was lost in the Kingdom’s latest attack. At this point, all we can do is hope that Vanguard is the last territorial claim Archon will make in Orange, and that someday the blessings of freedom and liberty will be upon all nations. ----- Written by Sir Paul The Tabloid Tribune - One Step Ahead of the Truth Proudly Part of PNN __________ [b][color=red]G14[/color] Finishes Pacifican Defense With Perfect Record[/b] [img]http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/5167/zero311d.jpg[/img] [i]It took incredible focus to miss every single raider[/i] [b]Athens, MUSHROOM KINGDOM CO-PROSPERITY SPHERE[/b]: With the New Pacific Order now out of terms and able to defend herself from raiders, the Tabloid Tribune would like to tip its hat to the G15 for their amazing actions during the final month of the terms. For the period of April 13, 2010 to May 20, 2010, the New Pacific Order reported [color=red]12[/color] raiders to the [color=red]G14[/color] Pacifican Defense Coordination Forums. The strength breakdown was diverse and was as follows: 0-1k NS - 3 Attackers 1k - 2k NS - 6 Attackers 2k - 5k NS - 2 Attackers 5k -30k NS - 1 Attacker [color=red][s]30k+ NS - 1 Attacker[/s][/color] Despite having so many attackers in so many strength bands, the [color=red]G14 [/color]did not hit a single raider. I would expect that at least one of them would be tech raided at random, but the discipline shown by the [color=red]G14 [/color] to ignore their agreement with the Pacificans is surely something to behold and something to be proud of. ----- Written by Sir Paul, data by navblue, [color=red]UmbraeNoctem & Gandroff[/color] The Tabloid Tribune - One Step Ahead of the Truth Proudly Part of PNN __________ [b]The Quotable Karma: Archon[/b] [img]http://img337.imageshack.us/img337/2324/tonberrykingff8.jpg[/img] [i]We prepare our hearts for the wisdom and revelation we are about to hear.[/i] [b]Archon, MUSHROOM KINGDOM[/b]: In his own words... “I'm happy to see this come to pass though, since I've never been a fan of beatdowns.” [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=63887&view=findpost&p=1704829] TheNeverender - July 19, 2009[/url] "Actually, we're busy fighting the war you started. If you didn't want to be in this mess you shouldn't have started the war." [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=81517&st=120&p=2206695&#entry2206695]TheNeverender - February 27, 2010[/url] “It was not an easy decision to request the help of the New Polar Order, just as it was not an easy thing to call on a number of our other allies.…By doing this, you take great harm unto yourself. By doing this, you are blatantly putting yourself into a worse position so that you may help us come out of this alive and victorious.” [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=80158&view=findpost&p=2163169] TheNeverender - February 5, 2010[/url] "Last thing I feel like dealing with is your goddamn moralism all over again" [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=85026&view=findpost&p=2277896]TheNeverender - May 7, 2010[/url] "What I'm trying to communicate is that they genuinely felt they did something wrong (attacking without a "valid" CB, etc) and thus deserved to pay some level of reparations to make up for that. This is not the same as an alliance agreeing to pay reps because of threat of destruction or extinction" [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=83752&st=80&p=2248512&#entry2248512]TheNeverender - April 4, 2010[/url] "TOP can either accept the peace formally by surrendering (anything less is simply words that can be taken away, as has been implied a number of times) or by working assiduously to get their allies to accept peace so that they can all surrender and get on with it." [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=82374&st=440&p=2241211&#entry2241211]TheNeverender - March 30, 2010[/url] "The Kingdom, in accordance with this agreement, hereby declares its protection of and domain over the Vanguard alliance affiliation." [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=83635&st=0&p=2245885&#entry2245885]TheNeverender - April 2, 2010[/url] "If I had more time (and no life), I'd actually keep a record of each person's stance and their relative position in the war, and see how it changes from war to war." [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=82014&view=findpost&p=2214078]TheNeverender - March 4, 2010[/url] "Hail Pacifica o/ As I said to Polaris, it's a pleasure to be fighting [i]alongside[/i] you guys this time around " [url=http://z15.invisionfree.com/Cyber_Nations/index.php?showtopic=73623&st=83]Archon - Jun 18 2007[/url] regarding FAN attacking NoV "It has been coming to my attention that there are alliances out there who are licking their chops at the prospect of bringing war to the doorstep of Athens in response to the de-facto-pseudo-almost-war-tech-raid-cluster****-thing, so I'm going to just lay this out straight and plain. Don't. ****. With. Us." [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=73788&st=0&p=1969952&fromsearch=1&#entry1969952]TheNeverender - November 14, 2009[/url] regarding Athens attacking KoN ----- Written by TheNeverender/Archon The Tabloid Tribune - One Step Ahead of the Truth Proudly Part of PNN __________ [b]Gramlins Pacifican Embassy Closed[/b] [img]http://img820.imageshack.us/img820/2544/lockedgates.jpg[/img] [i]It's nothing personal, just metrics.[/i] [b]Francograd, NEW PACIFIC ORDER:[/b] In a move long expected, the Imperial Clerk of the New Pacific Order has finally officially closed The Gramlins embassy in Francograd. The Order has longstanding rules that alliances must either have 50 members or an Imperial waiver to have land dedicated for an Embassy within the Pacifican Capital. At last count, The Gramlins can only boast 28 members. The embassy will be bulldozed and turned into a tech farm to support the victims of the current war. The Mushroom Kingdom has announced that they will be setting up a interest section in their Embassy to represent Gramlins in their Pacifican affairs. The Order salutes the efficiency of wiping out the middlemen and speaking directly with the boss. ----- Written by Sir Paul The Tabloid Tribune - One Step Ahead of the Truth Proudly Part of PNN __________ [b]Freedom and Slavery: Two War Reports[/b] [img]http://img809.imageshack.us/img809/8980/freedomwallquote.jpg[/img] [i]We all have choices...[/i] [b]Francograd, NEW PACIFIC ORDER[/b]: Just in time for the Feast of Saint Barnabas the Apostle, the Office of the Imperial Clerk has issued two sing along war reports. The first was originally released on Emancipation Day when the Order settled its half of the contract with the Group of 15, and is a joyful sound and tribute to Lady Pacifica. The second is a new release that discusses the war occurring every day within the hearts and minds of the members of the Mushroom Kingdom Co-Prosperity Sphere. [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fz3sq2y-I0]Lady Pacifica - Y5.T2.1k[/url] : May 20, 2010 [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrZzojkFKTQ]Something to Be - Y5.T2.1L[/url] : June 11, 2010 __________ [i]Imperator Populusque Pacificus[/i] __________ [color=red]EDIT: June 13, 2010[/color] Sometimes, in our pursuit to bring you the truth, we run over it. It has come to my attention that the military report for G15 protection and raids had two errors in them: 0-1k NS: Hit by VE on 4-14 5k -30k NS: Hit by VE on 4-22 In addition, the 30K+ nation was removed from the target list at the request of Pacifica Milcom. As you can see, the G14 have a perfect record, while the Viridians protected the Pacificans twice. In fact, looking back, the Viridians really dropped the ball, defending well more Pacificans than the G15 average. I apologize that the preceding publication has incorrect information. Please be aware that it was unintentional, and the responsible parties have been [url=http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/65/execution.jpg]dealt with[/url]. I thank you for your continued patronage, and will strive to stay one step ahead of the (accurate) truth. -Sir Paul __________ [color=blue]EDIT JUNE 15, 2010[/color] Here's a bonus sig for the goof-up [img]http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee215/RussianMight/Photoshop46.png[/img] Edited June 16, 2010 by Sir Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bakamitai Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 Great read, as always Sir Paul! Keep 'em coming! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrin Xies Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 Sir Paul, you are the bard of our time. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowbeast Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 Thanks for the new sigs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedj Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 I see lots of C&G propaganda but no love for Superfriends, im hurt Clearly Jasmine is at fault for this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mathias Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 Not as good as previous issues. I was disappoint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voytek Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 Those sigs would have quite the impact I'm sure... if they were even vaguely readable. Whoever did them made the text far far far too small and overstylised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goldie Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 [quote name='Sir Paul' date='12 June 2010 - 12:16 AM' timestamp='1276316194' post='2334519'] [b]Athens, MUSHROOM KINGDOM CO-PROSPERITY SPHERE[/b]: With the New Pacific Order now out of terms and able to defend herself from raiders, the Tabloid Tribune would like to tip its hat to the G15 for their amazing actions during the final month of the terms. For the period of April 13, 2010 to May 20, 2010, the New Pacific Order reported 13 raiders to the G15 Pacifican Defense Coordination Forums. The strength breakdown was diverse and was as follows: 0-1k NS - 3 Attackers 1k - 2k NS - 6 Attackers 2k - 5k NS - 2 Attackers 5k -30k NS - 1 Attacker 30k+ NS - 1 Attacker Despite having so many attackers in so many strength bands, the G15 did not hit a single raider. I would expect that at least one of them would be tech raided at random, but the discipline shown by the G15 to ignore their agreement with the Pacificans is surely something to behold and something to be proud of.[/quote] Bullcrap. Total lie. VE almost went to war with an alliance of over 100 members because one of their members hit NPO, VE countered, and they threatened us for doing so. During that time period. As for the 30k+ nation "This guy said he would send peace so hold off for now. Just giving you a heads up in case he doesn't." < You guys didn't want us to hit him. If you did, he would have been hit. I personally approved multiple targets to be hit that were successfully hit during this timeperiod. I ask that you strike this section from the record because its foundation is based on complete lies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_GunneR_ Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 Looks like someone has a man crush. Shall I pass on this note to him: "Will you go out with me? Yes [ ] No [ ]" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ak47don Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 MK is on your mind a bit too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickedj Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 [quote name='_GunneR_' date='11 June 2010 - 11:34 PM' timestamp='1276317263' post='2334566'] Looks like someone has a man crush. Shall I pass on this note to him: "Will you go out with me? Yes [ ] No [ ]" [/quote] /me cues up George Strait "Check yes or no..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James IV Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 Haha, I think I am feeling the Starcraft signature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakim Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 Great and interesting read by our Pacifican allies... o/ Pacifica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Savage Man Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 I rather enjoyed the sixth grade style courtship of Archon. The feature on the signature fad I laughed about and forgot a month ago was also a nice touch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_GunneR_ Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 Can it be clarified, please, for clarity's sake of course. Did we (MK) or did we not take down the top alliance twice? You claim we didn't but use our bragging of the fact to usurp the top spot from MHA to "save" them. To me that just sounds like blatant double crossing. How dishonourable! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homura Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 [quote name='goldielax25' date='12 June 2010 - 05:33 AM' timestamp='1276317201' post='2334563'] Bullcrap. Total lie. VE almost went to war with an alliance of over 100 members because one of their members hit NPO, VE countered, and they threatened us for doing so. During that time period. As for the 30k+ nation "This guy said he would send peace so hold off for now. Just giving you a heads up in case he doesn't." < You guys didn't want us to hit him. If you did, he would have been hit. I personally approved multiple targets to be hit that were successfully hit during this timeperiod. I ask that you strike this section from the record because its foundation is based on complete lies. [/quote] The Tabloid Tribune is ahead of the truth, not necessarily based on it. I recommend your alliance entertains us all and tries attacking NPO to suppress their free speech, before they get too strong. *cackles* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voytek Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 [quote name='Katsumi' date='12 June 2010 - 02:51 PM' timestamp='1276318275' post='2334593']I recommend your alliance entertains us all and tries attacking NPO to suppress their free speech, before they get too strong. *cackles*[/quote] Truly a stunning riposte from a master of wit. What poise! What effortless phrasing! *cackles* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunder Strike Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 [quote name='Katsumi' date='12 June 2010 - 05:51 PM' timestamp='1276318275' post='2334593'] The Tabloid Tribune is ahead of the truth, not necessarily based on it. I recommend your alliance entertains us all and tries attacking NPO to suppress their free speech, before they get too strong. *cackles* [/quote] That post is quite baffling. Firstly you seem to admit that NPO is not being truthful and using incorrect facts. Then you equate that to freedom of speech. Please tell me what freedom of speech has to do with spreading lies? Freedom of speech is the right to express ones opinion, not to present incorrect facts and slander people using falsified facts. And suggesting VE attacks NPO for 'free speech' is just the cherry on the icing of the cake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homura Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 [quote name='Voytek' date='12 June 2010 - 05:55 AM' timestamp='1276318517' post='2334598'] Truly a stunning riposte from a master of wit. What poise! What effortless phrasing! *cackles* [/quote] I aim to please. Or to cause trouble. Either explanation works. Or neither. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joseph Black Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 Good read, I am impressed with your writing style, would you be willing to throw a bone on how you come up with the material? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kulomascovia Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 Good Read. The sigs are also nice although I had kind of forgotten about the parody sigs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalasin Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 Lovely read, Sir Paul, but the sing-along war report thingies weren’t the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omniscient1 Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 good job again Sir Paul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homura Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 [quote name='Thunder Strike' date='12 June 2010 - 05:57 AM' timestamp='1276318630' post='2334601'] That post is quite baffling. Firstly you seem to admit that NPO is not being truthful and using incorrect facts. Then you equate that to freedom of speech. Please tell me what freedom of speech has to do with spreading lies? Freedom of speech is the right to express ones opinion, not to present incorrect facts and slander people using falsified facts. And suggesting VE attacks NPO for 'free speech' is just the cherry on the icing of the cake. [/quote] It's quite simple. The media department of the New Pacific Order can say whatever it wants, whether entirely factual, partially factual, or completely non-factual. Some would prefer to make empty demands when the media department does not accede to their version of events, though they won't actually do anything in response to alleged "slander". I suspect there's a chance you'll get an apology and correction, but then again, propaganda can also be used to rewrite history. Would you or anyone else actually do something to protect your reputation and maintain long-term stability, even if it meant rejecting some of your own ideals? I think not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandwich Controversy Posted June 12, 2010 Report Share Posted June 12, 2010 (edited) The Co-Prosperity Sphere will grow ever stronger under the wise rule of Dear Leader Comrade Archon and his great LUEche idea. Edited June 12, 2010 by Sandwich Controversy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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