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Don't Panic #35


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Welcome to another ye olde Don't Panic. This one is a little late, a little outdated and a little short on content. It is, therefore, a perfect example of the average Don't Panic.

[center][color=#4080FF] [b][size=7]Headlines[/size][/b][/color]

[color=#8000FF][b][size=5]Ministry Changes[/size][/b][/color][/center]
[i]By: Pourquoi[/i]

A fairly quiet month in the Ministry. We welcome madspartus to the previously vacant Deputy MoDF position and AvengingAngel to the #2 spot in the Ministry of Babelfish. The court saw something of a dramatic incident when the wrong elections took place, leaving the matter of just who is and isn't a court officer more difficult than usual to determine. Other than that though, ain't much but a ball of tumbleweed to see here folks.

MHA Government:
[color=#FF0000]Triumvirate: pudge1975, majorddf, Dynasty[/color]

[color=#4000FF]Minister of Hitchhikers (Members): unpronounced
Deputy: Pourquoi[/color]
[color=#40FF00]Minister of Towels (Economy): Jadoo1989
Deputy: kippa tarxien[/color]
[color=#FFBF00]Minister of BabelFish (Diplomacy): Yankeefan2
Deputy: AvengingAngel256[/color]
[color=#8000FF]Minister of Bad Poetry (Communications): priya91
Deputy: Cormalek[/color]
[color=#FFFF00]Minister of Destructor Fleets (War): Cable77
Deputy: madspartus[/color]

[color=#40FFFF]Speaker of the HHA: Bojangles
Legislator of the HHA: AndyDe[/color]

[color=#000000]Court Officers:
El Presidente
Lawfarm
doc miles[/color]


[center][color=#4080FF] [b][size=7]Within the Alliance[/size][/b] [/color][/center]

[color=#8000FF] [size=5][b][center]To Quote The Code[/center][/b][/size][/color]
[i]By: Pourquoi[/i]

[b]The MHA is an Alliance built on a foundation of Democracy, Free Speech, Respect, Friendship, and Diplomacy. To their very cores, the Hitchhikers of the MHA believe in the power of the people - the will of the populace is Her Sovereign Command. The Hitchhikers are the heart and soul of this alliance; their voice shall be free, their behaviour gracious, their Fellow Froods shielded, and their Allies supported. That is what it means to be Mostly Harmless; that is what it means to be a Hitchhiker in the MHA.[/b]

Part B Hitchhikers recognize and encourage the need for bad poetry, highly improbable events and other manifestations of a good sense of humour. Hitchhikers are here to have fun, and the MHA regards the enjoyment of its membership as a top priority. Well, top-ish - or at least somewhere in the middle, because eating and clothing and other stuff are actually more important when you think about it.

Part C "Mostly Harmless" is the best possible description of a Hitchhiker in the MHA: mostly neutral and mostly peaceful towards others. Hitchhikers shall never attack another nation without prior cause or authorization. The MHA operates on the basis of being friendly to all people, nations, and alliances on the planet and throughout the universe.

In order for Hitchhikers to retain respect for themselves, they must show respect to their fellow froods. The MHA community is a vessel of interpersonal relationships. All Hitchhikers must be courteous and respectful to other members of the CN community at all times, as much as froodily possible, whether they are interacting with the Head of an Alliance or a nuclear rogue. General Asshattery or the “flaming” of another Frood are NOT the Harmless way.

[b]Hitchhikers always know where their Towels are and Hitchhikers do NOT panic. Hitchhikers remain calm in crisis, and unbelievably cool in disaster[/b] - even when one's planet is being destroyed to make way for another Cyberverse-Bypass. Hitchhikers are collected and relaxed even at the height of drama. Hitchhikers do not attack others without just cause and NEVER attack others without prior governmental approval. A Hitchhiker's Towel is their most sacred item; it shall be kept with them at all times.

[b]Hitchhikers shall always endeavor to answer a fellow Frood's questions and concerns, and all Hitchhikers shall assist their fellow Froods as much as possible at all times. The MHA is an army of friends willing to provide all the support a Hitchhiker could need, be it information, financial assistance, military back-up, or a nice cup of really hot tea. Your fellow Hitchhiker has always got you covered.[/b]

Hitchhikers are loyal to their Friends and Allies. Like your very own Sirius Cybernetics Robot, a Hitchhiker is your Pal Who's Fun to Be With.[b] Like your very own rubber duck, they are always there to cheer you up. They write bad poetry, randomly turn into penguins or do other highly improbable things, and generally act in way consistent with the ownership of functioning sense humour; unless they are at war, or haven't had their tea, then they can be a bit grouchy and are best avoided.[/b] Hitchhikers keep all discussion of internal issues within the private venues of the Alliance, and the leaking of private information to outside parties, including allies, is High treason and betrayal of the MHA.

All Quotes taken from the Hitchhiker's Code

[center][color=#4080FF] [b][size=7]Around the CN World[/size][/b] [/color][/center]

[color=#8000FF] [size=5][b][center]IRON has finally surrendered!![/center][/b][/size][/color]
[i]By: Neptunebyte[/i]

In my debuting report, I am pleased to announce the IRON has finally accepted surrendering unconditionally! Yes indeed, our Harmlin brothers shall sleep safely knowing that it is over. Booze is in order! The aqua sphere is safe for generations to come... Oh wait... Sorry I read it wrong. Well, it is now safe for Maroon team, that's for sure. Also, it is the RIA (A.K.A Wonder Twins) of the Superfriends who have defeated IRON in a destructive spam war. Yes, much blood has been spilled (Measured yesterday 420K gallons to be exact), and many economies crippled (RIA stocks have free fallen from $1.99 a sec to $1.95). Also, reps have been announced, and they have frightened me so much, I got implosive diarrhea while writing this. It is that bad... Reps are as followed, *clears throat* and I quote: Payment of 1 tech. *Wipes tears of his eyes* And to make this worse, failure to give said reps shall make the RIA "very sad" . Well, booze is still in order if you were able to read this, and live with a bit of brain cell damage (huh, before this my IQ was 189, now it is 45). o/ RIA's spamming ability!

[center][color=#4080FF] [b][size=7]Just for Fun[/size][/b] [/color][/center]

[center][color=#8000FF] [b][size=5]The Editor's Drinking...[/size][/b] [/color][/center]
[i]By: Pourquoi[/i]

An ecclectic mix this week. Firstly, we have a drink I've been meaning to do for a bit, so thought I might as well get it over with; the Martini and Lemonade:

Ingredients:
50ml Extra Dry Martini Vermouth
Lemonade to taste (approx 100-200ml)
Slice of Lemon
Ice

Prep Note; ice is a must, lemon is for taste. May want to add a squeeze of lemon, may want to avoid it completly.

Now, before I begin, permit me to explain that the term 'martini' here does not refer to the drink often consumed by such heroes as James Bond and Brian Griffin, but instead refers to a brand of Vermouth which (unhelpfully) is called Martini. If you want to know what Vermouth is you'd have to look it up on wikipedia - all I know is it tastes horrible on its own, but very nice with lemonade.

The lemon and lemonade provide a very sweet taste with a bit of bite to counterpoint the dryness and hidden subtlety of the Vermouth very nicely to produce a very drinkable, cool, crisp drink once can enjoy in almost any situation. Indeed, the versatility of the drink is one of it's many advantages. Before a meal, at the pub, with a meal, at the bar, hosting a party, at home, wherever, whenever, it is almost always an appropriate drink (unless you're a bloke ordering it at the pub, in which barmen will always seem to give you a dodgy glance).

At home, where I've been drinking it most recently, it's a great drink due to the cheapness - a large litre bottle of vermouth will only cost around £9, whilst lemonade and lemons hardly cost the earth. The 'downside' is you don't get much alcohol for your money @ 15% volume. That said, it isn't the sort of thing you drink to get drunk. As said, its great when hosting a party - allowing you to drink far more than the guests and only get half as drunk - allowing you to keep a cool head for when 'situations' arise. Equally useful for whatever other situation you can think of when you want to drink something only slightly alcoholic... no I can't think of one either, but there must be some out there...

And secondly; Jameson & Coke.

Ingredients:
50ml Jameson whiskey
150ml Coke
slice of lemon
(Ice)

(Whiskey lovers I know assure me most whiskies with coke go better without ice. I agree, so long as the coke is quite cool. If its not, pop an ice cube in. Better cool and slightly diluted then not diluted and warm.)

Well, we've all heard of the Jack & Coke, my personal favourite though is James & Coke (if I may coin that term). There's just always been something about Jack Daniels I've never been a fan of. Jameson meanwhile, has always been my whisky of choice. (Or should that be whiskey? Answers should be sent to someone other than me.) Until now I've been drinking it as a a prelude to cheap lager - to improve the taste of the lager. Recently though I decided to try it with coke when my round to order drinks came up at the bar and I noticed the three people I was with were all ordering a Jack & Coke. Sadly, that attempt failed and the barman incorrectly gave me 4 Jack & Cokes, shrugging off my request for a James & Coke as a mistake. I perservered though and enjoyed the result greatly.

The taste is quite different from Jack & Coke. My description when I first tried it was that it was 'higher pitched' than a Jack & Coke (being a guitar player, my descriptions often come in musical form). The taste is a slightly sharper, even sweeter one, and gets you on the top of the mouth as opposed to back of the throad as Jack Daniels always seems to.

Anyway, I shall not bore you with details - I'm not as much of a whisky fan as I am of nearly every other alcohol, so I'll leave more detailed descriptions to lovers of the drink, as I'm sure there are many. I only wish to bring this drink up as an alternative to what is rapidly becomming a classic, in the Jack & Coke. Most decent bars and pubs stock Jameson, so ask to try it next time you're out, if you like it, you may, like me, have a new favourite, if not, hey ho.

For the home drinkers out there, you can get a 70cl bottle of Jamesons for about £18 at Asda. That's a bit more than I usually like to spend on bottles of spirits (student budgets suck) but when you compare it to a 70cl bottle of Jack Daniels which'll currently set you back £20 at Asda, you can see it may actually be a good choice for the wallet, as well as the tastebuds.

Cheers all.

[center][color=#8000FF] [b][size=5]Because There's More To Life Than Gin[/size][/b] [/color][/center]
[i]By: Queen Hoopdy the 1st[/i]

Wine review time. Tonight’s bottle is Blackstone Cabernet Sauvignon 2006. This one leans on the dry side, so if you like your Cabs sweeter, it is probably not for you. The Blackstone Cabernet Sauvignon was on sale at my local grocery for $12.99 a bottle, so it’s a decent table wine with dinner. It’s surprisingly smooth for its low price, and doesn’t get carried away with either fruit or wood flavors. A very solid choice if you’re looking for something smooth and drinkable, yet a bit more full bodied than Pinot Noir.

[center][color=#8000FF] [b][size=5]Vogon Poetry[/size][/b] [/color][/center]
[i]By: Dynasty[/i]

Poetic problems cause penguins to pull probable pacifiers passively pulsating pushing punching palms passing prickly pinecones pinning pretty pink pennies pretending Pinocchio participated in practically principle plumbing particles. Classical canvasses cooperation continuous corporate cash canning coupled corncobs calling counting carpets casing crows calibrating countless candles collecting coconuts claiming companies coming with considerate grapes. Tyrannical trees emanate beautiful ballasts bouncing tirelessly sinking trousers taking tambourines with jackals jumping for camping trips calumniating culinary carts growing magnificent beetles baking blueberry bagels. Igloos vent numerical images mailing many debts xylophones accumulate through vast pickled trucking bananas blasting away gouging great sized peppers peering possible sounds yelling rambunctious rounds rounding roomful round rails. Compasses cast castle calls caking crumbling casseroles cater cars cunningly flawlessly embracing magical mercenaries marrying murky trading travelers traveling against pizza teacups.


[center][color=#4080FF] [b][size=7] Closing[/size][/b] [/color][/center]

And another edition comes to an end. As usual it was late, lacked serious content and had a really high alcohol content. But enough of what I did last night, tune in next time for another edition of Don't Panic when we'll have more alcohol, more vogon poetry and more of that intangible quality you only usually get with a fine red wine... Umm, we have a serious alcohol problem guys.

[color=#8000FF] [b][size=5] Staff Listing[/size][/b] [/color]
Pourquoi - Editor-In-Chief for the last five minutes
Scytale - Editor-In-Chief for the period before that
Dynasty - Editor, Triumvir, Vogon Poet - the three go together quite well when you think about it.
Doctor Octagonapus - Sub-Editor, Spelling extraordinaire; that's e-x-t-r-a-o-d-i-n-a-i-r-e.
Queen Hoopdy the 1st - Wine Reviewer (yes, that's a job here)
Neptunebyte - Columnist & writer of amazing prose, such as; 'they frightened me so much, I got implosive diarrhea while writing this'
Cormalek - Stat Gatherer + Hider of the Don't Panic forum

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[quote name='scytale' date='12 June 2010 - 03:39 AM' timestamp='1276293252' post='2333831']
[i]
By: Pourquoi[/i]

[b]The MHA is an Alliance built on a foundation of Democracy, Free Speech, Respect, Friendship, and Diplomacy. To their very cores, the Hitchhikers of the MHA believe in the power of the people - the will of the populace is Her Sovereign Command. The Hitchhikers are the heart and soul of this alliance; their voice shall be free, their behaviour gracious, their Fellow Froods shielded, and their Allies supported. That is what it means to be Mostly Harmless; that is what it means to be a Hitchhiker in the MHA.[/b]

[b]Hitchhikers always know where their Towels are and Hitchhikers do NOT panic. Hitchhikers remain calm in crisis, and unbelievably cool in disaster[/b] [/quote]

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