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The Girl Who Used To Be


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Kottan put her head in her hands and began to cry. She couldn't escape her past, and even if she could, her body would always bear the marks he'd left on her.

She remembered everything, as if it had just happened moments before.

She'd come home from school, an eight-year-old, only a minute or two late, and her father would get angry. He'd insult her, then he'd beat her, leaving her sobbing weakly on the floor until Ayo came home. Her sister would always find her there, every day, bleeding, her white hair messy and tangled, her violet eyes bloodshot. Ayo didn't know what was happening to Kottan, the little sister she loved, but she was desperate to help her. Kottan would always paste a look of false happiness on her face, laugh, and say she'd be all right.

Kottan knew, intuitively, that her father would kill her if she told Ayo anything at all. As she grew older, things became steadily worse, going so far that Kottan took to wearing long clothing, even in hot weather. Ayo kept asking: Kottan kept denying. Ayo couldn't take it anymore, and Kottan knew it, so she just came clean with her sister.

Ayo was horrified, but she knew as well as Kottan that there was nothing they could do- or risk being killed.

"Kottan.. Please... Just tell me. Who's hurting you?" Ayo asked, and Kottan just broke into tears.

"Him... Our father."

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When Kottan said those words, Ayo couldn't believe it. Her father loved them... right?

She pondered it momentarily, then realized that he was being fake-sweet to Kottan. He looked at her like she was the biggest disappointment he'd ever recieved in life, and Ayo guessed that to him, she was.

When their mother had been pregnant with Kottan, their father had paraded around, sure that Kottan would be a boy. At the moment of Kottan's birth, shortly after naming her, their father was told Kottan was a girl.

Tannar Lyndexer went into a rage, nearly killing Kottan at that very moment. He'd tried to kill her all her life, but he could never bring himself to kill the sweet violet-eyed white-haired child, not until she looked too much like her mother. Then his desire to kill her only grew, making him hungrier for Kottan's blood.

He'd tie her with wire and cut her arms, just to hear her cry. He'd slap her, and he'd insult her, calling her things that cut deeper that any knife that ever pierced Kottan's flesh.

Ayo would hear Kottan's cries of pain and see her blood on things; but she had made her choice. She would do this without Kottan's knowledge, and rid the world of another crazed, misogynistic man.

"Father?" Ayo asked, innocently bringing her father his noon tea, a job that Kottan usually did. Tannar turned to face Ayo, and a genuine smile came onto his face.
"Yes, Ayo?" he said, arms open as he moved to embrace her.

"Why must you be such a !@#$%^&, Father?" Ayo questioned sadly, slipping a knife from her sleeve into her hand and plunging it into his chest. Tannar's mouth formed words with no sound, and Ayo left.

As Kottan escaped the confines of her mind, she knew she had to find someone that could comfort her, even ten long years after his death.

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