zzzptm Posted April 30, 2010 Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 [center][img]http://nuevavida-cn.net/z/nv-war.jpg[/img] [size="6"]The Flower Wars of Nueva Vida[/size] [/center] "Just got this communique from Alliance Central Command, Chief Speaker." Chief Speaker Zzzptm leaned across his desk to receive the message from the courier. He tugged it open, roughly and without flourish. "Should I leave, sir?" "No... no... this is probably nothing big. We're at peace, nothing's on the horizon... it's only one page... Nitecihuitl Great Leader, blah blah blah, and... hold on." Zzzptm sat up straight in his overstuffed swivel chair. "Say, this is interesting." "War coming, sir?" "Yes, yes, it is." Zzzptm smiled as he looked at the communique. "Shall I carry an order for you?" "Yeah, hang on." Zzzptm grabbed a piece of paper from his desk printer and scribbled some words on it. "We're gonna drop a cruise missile on The Emperor." "What?" The courier went blank. "Isn't that sacrilege?" "Not if it's part of a Flower War. Huitzilopochtli be praised, we have begun the Flower Wars!" The color returned to the courier's face. "I hear and obey, Chief Speaker." Zzzptm handed the order to the courier. "Make sure you get someone to write 'Hugs and Kisses from Himynamistan' on the warhead." [center]*****[/center] The rules of the Flower War are simple. Declare war, exchange a lone cruise missile, whoever destroys the most infrastructure wins. But that's just the ceremony. In the act of launching the strike, each participant makes invocations to Huitzilopochtli, the God of War. But Huitzilopochtli is also the Left-Handed Hummingbird, the harbinger of the New Life. We of Nueva Vida hold sacred the ways of the Hummingbird and offer to him the flowers of war to draw him closer to us. The Lands of the Lord of the Hummingbird Throne participate in the rites of the Flower Wars to celebrate the ways of the warrior. Should a nation of Nueva Vida offer a Flower War to an ally, it is an offer of great significance, and shall lead to the sharing of the three bottles of the warrior when it is over. [center]*****[/center] "Sir! Prince Arutha has just informed us that he's sending over an airstrike!" "Well, that's pretty over the top. Not part of the normal script for the Flower War." "What should we do?" "Well, we have no aircraft. We should just hope for the best, I guess. The rat's gonna blow up a few buildings and - hold on..." "What is it?" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "What?" "We shot it down. Too cool." "Back to 'Launch a CM Day', I guess..." "Yeah. Hehehe..." [center]*****[/center] Huitzilopochtli punishes those that do not follow the rules of the Flower Wars... Titecihuitlah Toteotzin Toxolahuan! We shall honor the ways of The Emperor! We shall honor the ways of the warrior! We fight the Flower Wars and give praise to Huitzilopochtli, our God of War! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.