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The Flower Wars of Nueva Vida


zzzptm

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[center][img]http://nuevavida-cn.net/z/nv-war.jpg[/img]

[size="6"]The Flower Wars of Nueva Vida[/size]
[/center]

"Just got this communique from Alliance Central Command, Chief Speaker."

Chief Speaker Zzzptm leaned across his desk to receive the message from the courier. He tugged it open, roughly and without flourish.

"Should I leave, sir?"

"No... no... this is probably nothing big. We're at peace, nothing's on the horizon... it's only one page... Nitecihuitl Great Leader, blah blah blah, and... hold on."

Zzzptm sat up straight in his overstuffed swivel chair. "Say, this is interesting."

"War coming, sir?"

"Yes, yes, it is." Zzzptm smiled as he looked at the communique.

"Shall I carry an order for you?"

"Yeah, hang on." Zzzptm grabbed a piece of paper from his desk printer and scribbled some words on it. "We're gonna drop a cruise missile on The Emperor."

"What?" The courier went blank. "Isn't that sacrilege?"

"Not if it's part of a Flower War. Huitzilopochtli be praised, we have begun the Flower Wars!"

The color returned to the courier's face. "I hear and obey, Chief Speaker."

Zzzptm handed the order to the courier. "Make sure you get someone to write 'Hugs and Kisses from Himynamistan' on the warhead."

[center]*****[/center]

The rules of the Flower War are simple. Declare war, exchange a lone cruise missile, whoever destroys the most infrastructure wins. But that's just the ceremony. In the act of launching the strike, each participant makes invocations to Huitzilopochtli, the God of War. But Huitzilopochtli is also the Left-Handed Hummingbird, the harbinger of the New Life. We of Nueva Vida hold sacred the ways of the Hummingbird and offer to him the flowers of war to draw him closer to us. The Lands of the Lord of the Hummingbird Throne participate in the rites of the Flower Wars to celebrate the ways of the warrior. Should a nation of Nueva Vida offer a Flower War to an ally, it is an offer of great significance, and shall lead to the sharing of the three bottles of the warrior when it is over.

[center]*****[/center]

"Sir! Prince Arutha has just informed us that he's sending over an airstrike!"

"Well, that's pretty over the top. Not part of the normal script for the Flower War."

"What should we do?"

"Well, we have no aircraft. We should just hope for the best, I guess. The rat's gonna blow up a few buildings and - hold on..."

"What is it?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What?"

"We shot it down. Too cool."

"Back to 'Launch a CM Day', I guess..."

"Yeah. Hehehe..."

[center]*****[/center]

Huitzilopochtli punishes those that do not follow the rules of the Flower Wars... Titecihuitlah Toteotzin Toxolahuan! We shall honor the ways of The Emperor! We shall honor the ways of the warrior! We fight the Flower Wars and give praise to Huitzilopochtli, our God of War!

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[quote name='Auctor' date='29 April 2010 - 09:29 PM' timestamp='1272594541' post='2280764']
Backstabbers! I'm ashamed I ever called you my allies. This won't go unremembered.
[/quote]
If you were in my NS, I'd send you a CM.

I'd send you two, because I like you so much.

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[quote name='zzzptm' date='29 April 2010 - 10:31 PM' timestamp='1272594691' post='2280767']
If you were in my NS, I'd send you a CM.

I'd send you two, because I like you so much.
[/quote]
ah who am I kidding, I can never stay mad at you. :wub:

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[quote name='supercoolyellow' date='29 April 2010 - 07:32 PM' timestamp='1272594758' post='2280768']
I sincerely hoped this would involve giving protection to the flowers, or just involving that guy who caused so much fun drama earlier, but hey, your CM game looks like a fun game and way to pass the time.
[/quote]

- Rome is already protecting what's left of "The Flowers" (all one of them, three others have reformed as "The Dreadful Dandelions" and jumped into the CSA-GOONS-Methrage mess)

- Amer was stricken from Planet Bob (OOC translation: banned)

This is pretty epic RP. o/ (OOC: TOOL should try some Wheel of Time stuff :P)

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[quote name='supercoolyellow' date='29 April 2010 - 09:32 PM' timestamp='1272594758' post='2280768']
I sincerely hoped this would involve giving protection to the flowers, or just involving that guy who caused so much fun drama earlier, but hey, your CM game looks like a fun game and way to pass the time.
[/quote]
It is more than a game, it is a religious sacrament for the God of War.

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[quote name='WalkerNinja' date='29 April 2010 - 09:43 PM' timestamp='1272595367' post='2280789']
I want a Flower War where Nueva Vida declares on someone neutral and comparable in size without asking for assistance from their allies.
[/quote]
That's a lot of Cruise Missiles, and we'd be happy to use them... but the Flower Wars are for friends and allies. We respect neutrality: We are not followers of Tezcatlipoca, the Enemy of Both Sides.

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