Brenann Posted April 19, 2010 Report Share Posted April 19, 2010 [center][img]http://i477.photobucket.com/albums/rr139/Atlis14/NPO/pnn-1.png[/img] [size=2][b]PNN International Issue 5[/b][/size] [i]"She took our money, the car, the house, but she didn't take our pens."[/i] [b][u]Table of Contents[/u][/b] Director's Address NPO Reparations Progress update Recipe for Post-Reparations Chocolate Easter Bunnies Press Release: Neutral Pacific Order Introducing the NPO Wiki Team Interview with Peron, IRON PNN staffer comes out of the closet Krulltopia's Comic Corner[/center] [size=4][b]Director's Address[/b][/size] Once again the Media Staff have outdone themselves with their hard work. I am very pleased with the amount of work that went into this. With the NPO nearing the end of terms there is so much to do. Media is in overtime to complete requests that are coming in from every area of the NPO, from the Emperor himself to the newest members of the Order. I look forward to the continued work of these people and I am positive that as we come even closer to the end of terms that there will be more exciting things for us to work on. Until then, enjoy the work that has been done on this article. Brennan Demctor (Demon Director) of Media [size=4][b]NPO Reparations Progress update[/size][/b] [img]http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2008/01/08/images/rhmoney.jpg[/img] On August 1st 2009 (yes, it was that long ago), we began paying our enormous reparations to Karma. it is not the job of this correspondent or this article to flame or criticise either side of the war, the reps or the events that got us here. Rather, this article celebrates Pacifican spirit and endurance. The largest terms imposed on an alliance in the history of Cyber Nations did not break us, physically or morally, despite how large the task before us was. After a savage war, most of our nations were either in Anarchy or close to it. These problems were compounded when we were forced to decommission certain improvements, our military and also prevented from buying certain wonders. These issues were just part of the gigantic amount of cash and technology we were going to be sending over the coming months. When the time came to begin sending the reps, most people took to it with a degree of bitterness but persevered nonetheless to do their part. We all understood that each nation that didn't pull its weight made our terms longer and more damaging to the economy of the alliance itself. We understood what had to be done and how important our responsibilities were. So, we gritted our teeth. Every 10 days since, most nations have had their slots filled up with technology or money being funnelled into Karma. This steady pace of outgoing reps ensured we were slowly but surely getting closer and closer to our final target of 350,000 tech and $10,000,000,000 cash. This process continues to this day and the end is in sight... [b]Current Progress[/b] [i]Tech[/i] [img]http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/5796/repsbartech.png[/img] [i]Money[/i] [img]http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/2282/repsbarcash.png[/img] We are extremely proud of this achievement. Not only because of how close we are to the end, but because we also met the monthly minimum rep requirements. Therefore, after 8 months of outgoing money and technology, we are expected to complete the process by the [b]end of April[/b] or [b]early May[/b]. Congratulations and well done everyone! Written by Speer The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events. Proudly Part of PNN [size=4][b]Post-Reparations Chocolate Easter Bunnies[/size][/b] [img]http://game.sanook.com/story_picture/m/10641_009.jpg[/img] [b]Things you’ll need:[/b] 1: 20 litres of Moo Milk 2: 2 kg of butter 3: 10 kg of unsweetened chocolate, melted 4: 1 kg of confectioners sugar 5: 6 litres of lemon juice 6: 500 ml of children’s tears 7: 250 ml uranium (finely ground) 8: 750 ml of vanilla [b]Preparation: [/b] Cream butter, then mix in vanilla, milk, tears and lemon juice. Beat (preferable with a brick from Francograd). Gradually beat in the sugar. When mixed, move mixture onto a kneading board or surface and knead to make a smooth, fondant consistency. Pinch off two tablespoons of the fondant at a time, form an bunny shape. Place each bunny on a cookie sheet, cover with wax paper and chill until firm. When firm, dip in melted chocolate to coat. Sprinkle with finely ground uranium. Refrigerate for 12 months. serve. [img]http://cdn.ripple6.com/userfiles/90385/Image/chocolate_bunnies1.jpg[/img] If yours don't look like these, you did something wrong. Written by galw700 The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events. Proudly Part of PNN [size="4"][b]Neutral Pacific Order in race of Utter Neutrality[/b][/size] [img]http://blog.acton.org/uploads/praying.jpg[/img] Tensions have not risen recently as the Green Protection Agency and the Neutral Pacific Order have been competing to prove which is the better neutral alliance. Both alliances have been very close in score and growth, having switched places five times in the last month, and more before it. In what has been described as the “most boring competition ever”, the two alliances have been trying to outdo each other not only in score, but in a complete lack of involvement from all world affairs and a neutrality peremeating all their ways of life. Currently, the Green Protection Agency holds an edge in the categories of non-involvement, as the Neutral Pacific Order's recent aiding of belligerents in a war has led to their limited involvement in the conflict. Under normal circumstances, that would have led to a total disqualification from the neutral race, but due to extenuating circumstances, the NPO is acknowledged as having no say in the matter. However, the NPO makes up for its shortcomings in that category by being the least threatening alliance in the world. The Pacific has a high level of demilitarisation, coupled with very good relations with most alliances in the world. This is only made obvious by recent events – despite NPO directly aiding their enemies on multiple occasions, alliances such as TOP or IRON have never made any complaint, and have continued with a very friendly attitude towards us. On the other side of the fence, NPO is such good friends with alliances in SF and CnG that we have been happily giving away our tech, they have repeatedly stated that they have no plan to attack us, and proudly wear our flag in their signatures, showing their love for their new friends in the NPO. However, both contestants can be proud with how they have shown the world the validity of the neutral path. Both have risen rapidly up the ranks as a result of the “You idiots can all kill each other while NPO goes straight back to #1” war. Indeed, the Neutral Paragon that is the Order stands poised to seize said #1 position should it abandon the ideals of non-belligerence and beings a re-armament. But there are serious voices in the world, including within the newly created Pacifican Committee for Impartial Aloofness (PCIA for short) that advocate a continuation of the policy that has seen the once battered Pacifican state double in strength and come near to reclaiming its former position at the top. The private, non-governmental organisation HElping our Great Economy to Move NeutralY (HE.G.E.M.O.NY) has been an outspoken campaigner for such a continuation of neutrality, whereby the current plan of monthly tribute and serfdom in exchange for protection that is Kollateralized Amalgamated Reinvestment Mutual Assistance Program is extended into a special economic partnership for several years. However, this has been met with official disapproval from all major political figures, who are keen to point out at the multitude of shortcomings in proper protection and breaches of contracts that make such a partnership undesirable. HE.G.E.M.O.NY has been quick to suggest that the diplomatic corps search for new, reliable economic partners with which the NPO can co-operate with for the cause of worldwide peace and prosperity. Written by Letum The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events. Proudly Part of PNN [b][size="4"]Introducing NPO Wiki Team[/size][/b] [img]http://www.officemuseum.com/IMagesWWW/OSU_Archives5a_OM.JPG[/img] The sound of typewriters is ever unceasing in the narrow hallways crowded with staffs shuffling to and fro, some carrying stacks of papers and some shouting orders for certain documents to be delivered to their respective cubicles. “Ah, I need update on that new Colonel we were working on earlier,” a clerk, dressed in white uniform with blue stripes, dictated to an office runner, “they just had a new promotion a week ago and we need to update his page in 3 hours.” As the courier sped down the corridor, the clerk turned back to the typewriter and started working on newly opened theatre in Francograd… Such is daily life in the Wikipedia Division of the New Pacific, which boasts an impressive record of hundreds of Pages contributed to the Cybernation Wikipedia website. To this day, no other wiki taskforce in other alliances has ever surpassed the Pacifican team in term of number alone. Nonetheless, such achievement comes with a price of dedication. Wiki Authors, they are called in the bureau, are recruited only from the most potential pool of Pacificans gifted in writing, and their talent is constantly tested as new assignments keep pouring onto their desks. They are also trained to perform their tasks in accordance with the strict laws of Wikipedia writing. No bias is allowed, and only precise data is tolerated. What you read in the opening paragraphs are what exactly happens everyday in Wiki Division. Wiki Manager (the boss) scrutinizes the site, looking for outdated data, and notified the Authors of specific updates which are needed. In fact, the NPO Wiki Division is so awesome that it is granted a separate branch apart from Writing Division in Media Corps, lest the Wiki team’s awesomeness spills into Squintus’ coffee. You can locate New Pacific Order in Cybernation Wikipedia [url=http://cybernations.wikia.com/wiki/New_Pacific_Order]HERE[/url]. Written by Thomas Richmond The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events. Proudly Part of PNN [size=4][b]Interview with Peron, IRON[/b][/size] [img]http://www.historynet.com/wp-content/uploads/image/westmoreland-in-crowd.jpg[/img] Following my adventures through Pansyakistan, I was able to find passage on a small shipping vessel. When I asked what they were shipping, Captain Doppelganger quickly stammered "uh... nothing illegal! You can be sure of that!" That was good enough for me. My travels on this ship were long and arduous. I shan't bore you with them. So let's jump ahead to when I arrived back at Francograd. I escaped from the cage in the cargo bay I had ended up in following a series of cheeky hi-jinks and made my way to the upper deck. At this point, I had acquired a small pouch of oregano and several empty clips of ammunition. Luckily, at this point, the fire had consumed most of the ship and none of the guards that were still alive after the Kraken attack cared that I had gotten out. As I passed through the galley and stole several boxes of wine, Captain Doppelganger jumped out from a broom closet and tried to stab me with a mop. He must have still been under the influence of whatever drugs those natives had given him, but that wasn't going to stop me from shoving his hand in the garbage disposal. It's own fault for getting in my way. Once I made it to the main deck, I dodged, ducked, dove, and dodged through throngs of angry seamen who were all trying to get to the lifeboats. I made it to the railing that ran along the edge of the deck jumped overboard without looking, As I swam to shore, the [i]SS Sith Order and Justice For All Unbelievers[/i] quietly sank behind me. I made it to the shore and began walking along the highway, trying to bum a ride off someone. A pink sports car slowed and I could've sworn the driver gave me a wink. I bent down to look in through the window and was surprised to see that Comrade Ash was the driver - I had always pegged him as a pink pickup truck (possibly with a Confederate flag bumper sticker) kinda guy. [center][img]http://static.open.salon.com/files/republican_congressman_pete_sessions_as_taliban_insurgent1251179479.jpg[/img] Just another day at Ash's place[/center] "Sup Ash," said I as I reached in through the open window and unlocked the door. "Um... yeah, I was just stopping because there was a red light" - I glanced up and noticed that he was indeed not lying, which was odd for him. - "I have no intention of letting you in my car, Squint." "A little late for 'couldve's, buddy boy," I nonchalantly stated while I popped open the door and slid into the passenger seat. "I never used the phrase 'could've'." "Just take me to the Media building." I held up my aforelymentioned bag of oregano. "If you do, there's this bag of totally legit drugs in it for you." "Ooooooh." [hr] After reaching the Brennan's office within the Building of Media, I remembered that I hadn't showered in close to 4 months and was still wearing the pants I had stolen off him as I was leaving before. Luckily, there was dignified-looking loser sitting across from his desk, telling some anecdote about trade mishaps and some sort of metal - I think it was bronze or steel or something - who was distracting The Demon Director (or "Demctor" if I want to save time), so he didn't notice. But this guy kept talking and talking. Brennan needed to pay attention to me for awhile. I coughed a couple of times, trying to get my boss's attention, but he seemed very intent on ignoring me. So I nonchalantly began trimming my toenails into his filing cabinet using his $4200 letter opener. He turned to look in disgust at me shortly thereafter. "Squintus, why are you here... doing that?" "Figured I'd do something productive while I was waiting for you." "Put that down and get over here. This is [b]Peron[/b] with the Independent Republic of Orange Nations and you're going to interview him while I clean up after you." "Sounds great, boss." Brennan gave a weird expression that was a combination of a shudder, a sigh, and a [url=http://api.ning.com/files/8fP-yfvv-HULwYXx5wjfP2K-dDsb5uBthzGrHYTdmLrZW9k6GG2HwGVk6TFB1K0BV3L4siZSFFYFkm55G1JYX5C6FguMKTlH/facepalm4cr.jpg]palm-less facepalm[/url], then he got up and starting heading over to the Sanitation Department to borrow a mop from Blueline, the NPO Janitor. I turned to look at this Peron guy. "Well, let's knock this out of the way so I can go back to stealing stuff," I said as I grabbed a pen, a pad of legal paper, and a clock off of Brennan's desk. [quote][b]Squintus[/b]: What is your position within IRON? [b]Peron[/b]: I am the newly appointed President of IRON. [b]Squintus[/b]: How does one get appointed to the Presidency? [b]Peron[/b]: The IRON president selection process is different than most. The current sitting council nominates their choices for president, and after the nominates have concluded, the president is voted on by council. The winner of the election, if he/she should choose to accept is then "commanded by council" to be the next president. [b]Squintus[/b]: What sort of day-to-day duties do you have as President? [b]Peron[/b]: As President it is my job to act as the figurehead of the alliance. I have no more or less power on council than any other council member. However, it is my job to be the "voice" if you will, of council and relay back and forth between the members and council. I also work closely with the diplomacy department as an upper level diplomat, and the majority of my day to day work consists of keeping in touch with allies and other alliances. [b]Squintus[/b]: Currently, IRON is still at war with C&G and/or their allies. How's that effort going? [b]Peron[/b]: The war effort continues. I won't sugar coat things and say they're great, but I am extremely proud of every single IRON member for their resolve and determination thus far. We hope the war will come to a close sometime soon. [i]Editor's Note: The [url=http://forums.cybernations.net/index.php?showtopic=83752]Easter Sunday Accords[/url], which brought the vast majority of the war to a close, was formally announced later that day.[/i] [b]Squintus[/b]: It's still a bit early, but are there any post-war plans in the works? [b]Peron[/b]: Post war, we hope to focus internally for a good amount of time. We have a lot of rebuilding to do post-war, and after that we want to focus on the culture of IRON. We also hope to get to know a lot more alliances and hope to change our current image that the rest of the world has of us. That's as much as I can give you for now, you'll have to wait and see for the rest [b]Squintus[/b]: What do you think of the NPO? [b]Peron[/b]: Personally, I have positive feelings toward NPO. Before the Karma war, NPO-IRON relations were excellent. Then during the Karma war they (obviously) took a turn for the worse. As you near your end of terms, I wish you all the best, and hope to see you succeed. I am very pleased with all the current government as well and think Cortath has done a good job thus far in leading Pacifica. [b]Squintus[/b]: Can we look forward to a bright future for IRON? [b]Peron[/b]: Well, I certainly hope so We never know what the future will bring, but I personally will do everything in my power to make sure that future is bright. [b]Squintus[/b]: Any closing thoughts or comments? [b]Peron[/b]: I'd just like to add that I have an open door policy and if anyone ever has questions or would just like to meet me, don't be afraid to find me on IRC or PM me on the forums. I hope that those of you who don't know me or don't know IRON in general will take this opportunity to get to know me us. And I'd like to thank the Pacific News Network for this opportunity. [b]Squintus[/b]: Thank you very much for your time. I'll stop bothering you and let you get back to real stuff [/quote] Brennan returned to his office, which now stank of Franco River, and threw a baseball bat at my head. I took this as my signal to leave and quickly return to my "office" which was really just a small corner under the basement stairs. As I left, I caught a muttering from Brennan that sounded a lot like "one of these days, I'm just going to have to straight-out murder him" though I think it's more likely he said "I love that Squintus guy and I can't wait to give him another promotion!" Written by Squintus The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events. Proudly Part of PNN [size=4][b]PNN staff member makes his sexuality public[/b][/size] [img]http://www.altfg.com/Stars/directorsh/holland-todd.jpg[/img] Several weeks ago, it was announced that professional singer and recently-announced star of upcoming summer blockbusting smash hit "Smash of the Hitans" Ricky Martin was a homosexual. The Pacific News Network wishes to take this moment to stress that we do not judge people when it comes to matters such as these. After all, we still employ Letum, so if that doesn't prove our tolerance, I don't know what will. In keeping with this spirit of openness and publicness, PNN Senior Correspondent [b]Speer[/b] announced to the world that he was straight. This came as a shock to many, in particular those who worked with Speer on a daily basis, as the opposite had always been assumed. "This really really shocks me, as I had always assumed the opposite to be true," Media Coordinator Lord Valleo stated in a phone interview. "I suppose I shouldn't assume things about my employee's sexuality, but dammit, I thought I had this one." [center][img]http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/drama/images/frustration.jpg[/img] "I was positive!"[/center] Media Director Brennan von Trapp agreed with Valleo's sentiments. "We had no idea," Brennan said while panhandling on the streets of Doppelganger to try and get more funds for Media's upcoming Rock'n'rolla'palooza festival. "We will immediately be contacting Emperor Cortath to investigate. Prior to his imperial appointment, he was a practicing and respected Sexpert. He should be able to get to the bottom of this. Thomas Richmond and Tigerking, two PNN reporters, were able to catch up with Speer as he left a public restroom in the train station. [quote][b]PNN[/b]: Speer, could you comment on your recent coming out? [b]Speer[/b]: No.[/quote] He quickly boarded his train and was able to escape without further comment. Had either of the reporters not been cheap !@#$%^&*, they may have sprung for train fare and continue their line of questioning. PNN will continue to monitor this developing situation and vows to report on any and all updates. Written by Squintus The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events. Proudly Part of PNN [b][size="4"]Krull's Comic Corner[/size][/b] [b][size="3"]S.W.O.R.D – Marvel, Issue 5[/size][/b] [img]http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/8149/47137486.jpg[/img] [i]Is it just me, or does Beast look like a lolcat?[/i] This particular series spun out of Joss (Buffy/Angel/Firefly/Dollhouse etc) Whedon’s run on Astonishing X-men. The basic premise is that S.W.O.R.D (Marvel loves its acronyms) is a spy agency that monitors alien threats against Earth, so Men In Black meets James Bond with superheroes thrown in. The Agency consists of Agent Brand, the half alien leader of S.W.O.R.D, Beast, who has just left the X-men after recent events, and Shadowcat’s badass little ‘pet’ alien dragon Lockheed, along with assorted other agents and special guest Death’s Head, a giant robot bount...freelance law enforcement agent. A recent massive crossover involving an alien invasion which S.W.O.R.D did not prevent has resulted in the group having Henry Gyrich, an anti-mutant and anti-alien bureaucrat, being forced upon the agency. Since the main characters include two aliens and a mutant, you can already tell this isn’t going to go well. And it doesn’t. Thanks to Gyrich’s meddling, and intent to remove all aliens and alien hybrids off Earth, the S.W.O.R.D headquarters (The Peak) has been taken over and Earth is now under threat of invasion by the brutal Drenx. It’s only due to Brand hiring Death’s Head that she and Beast are able to avoid getting caught up in Gyrich’s epic fail and can attempt to take back the HQ and save the Earth. I loved this issue, and I’ve enjoyed the whole series. Beast has always been my favorite X-man, so to have him in the forefront, fighting aliens and cracking jokes is brilliant. There are a few art niggles, namely that damned cover, but nothing that really detracts from the writing and the plot. Unfortunately, this is the last issue due to lagging sales, which is really sad. I don’t think this series was pushed that much, and neither was its guest star, Death’s Head, who practically steals every scene he’s in and provides some of the best jokes in the issue. If you aren’t familiar with Marvel, or its recent events in other comics, then you might find this a difficult read plotwise, but those who are even vaguely familiar with the characters should pick it up. [size="4"] [b]8[/b] / 10[/size] [size="2"][b]Quote of the issue:[/b][/size] [b]Drenx Leader 1:[/b] “[and] the Iron giant is pacified. [b]Drenx leader 2:[/b] “Pacified?” [cut to Death’s head standing outside on top of the Peak, surrounded by and shooting spacefighters] [b]Death’s Head:[/b] I’m the King Kong who shoots back. [b]Drenx Leader 1:[/b] “Mostly” [size="3"][b]The Green Hornet Year One – Dynamite Entertainment, Issue 1[/b][/size] [img]http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/7492/greenhornet.jpg[/img] [i]Well, that mask looks like it's good at deflecting head shots.[/i] I’d thought I’d change things a little by reviewing a title that wasn’t made by Marvel or DC. The Green Hornet s a radio serial hero originally thought up in the 1930’s, with a few films, TV series and comic books produce, with a new film coming out this year. Despite this, I don’t actually no anything about the character, except that his theme tune is on the Kill Bill soundtrack. Recently Dynamite entertainment has acquired the Green Hornet lience, and as well as doing a series based on Kevin Smith’s abandoned film script (which I might pick up), they are also doing this series which starts from scratch and tells the origin of the Green Hornet (apparently separate from the Kevin Smith one, but whatever). We start off following both the boy who will become the Green Hornet, and the boy who will become his partner, Kato. We see the origins of where the name comes from, as the narrative moves forward in time, showing the two growing up with their very different background, interspersed with their first outing as crimefighters. The issue ends as both men leave their fathers, and go out into the world, setting up their first meeting for the next issue. It’s a fairly solid book, with good art and writing throughout. It helps that I’m not familiar with the character, so you get introduced to the characters quite well. Thing is, there’s nothing here to make it a must read, there’s nothing to make it stick out from the other titles. I’m fully expecting it to pick up in the next issue, but I’m not expecting something breathtaking. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s a good read, if slightly generic when compared to the thousands of other titles out there. [size="4"] [b]7[/b] / 10[/size] [size="2"][b]Quote of the issue:[/b][/size] [b]Kato’s Father:[/b] How is your English? [b]Young Kato:[/b] BERRY GUDE, FA-ZHU-AH. I TRY BERRY HAAD. [b]Kato’s father:[/b] <Ehh...needs a bit of work> Written by Krulltopia The Pacific Press - A jackboot on the pulse of world events. Proudly Part of PNN [center]* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * [size=2][b]PNN International Volume V[/b][/size] Ends Here The Next Issue of [b]PNN International[/b] Coming Soon - Stay Tuned![/center] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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