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Xiao Weng

The Most Holiest of Days

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[center][SIZE=7]And now, a message from:[/SIZE]
[IMG]http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q64/shanefogarty/TheBrainsm.jpg[/IMG][/center]

It is no secret that this is a time of great turmoil upon this Digiterra, this Planet Bob, this home to thousands of breathing, speaking, questionably-thinking leaders, and the flocks they each tend to as a father would tend his children.

This world fights a terrible war, brothers and sisters, a war sown with strife and dissention, confusion and terror, bits and pixels, anguish and satisfaction. Ally fights ally, enemy befriends enemy, and as such the world is divided in a way it has never been before. The web of parchment that links all of us has set afire, and the green glow of the Swords of Thundercleese - that's a [i]nookular weapon[/i], for those who are unfamiliar - light our evenings. Faceless soldiers appear and disappear, untold lives bought and sold on the open market for the sole purpose of improving a statistical percentage of temporary victory. Great ships are built and sunk in short order. The wreckage of aircraft and tanks litter the planet as if they grew from its very roots! Even our bases on the Moon and on Mars look upon our glorious planet of plenty and yell, "WHAT THE *#%& ARE YOU DOING?!"

Truly, they do. They're far away, so you'll have to listen very carefully.

We of the Brain look upon this conflict with confusion and sorrow. Our friends bicker and fight. Do we engage? If so, which side? Which of our partners do we send the letter to, softening the blow in our minds but twisting the blade in theirs, conveying the notion that it's not really them, it's [i]us[/i], and can't we just be economic partners? Maybe a dalliance with a tech deal after we've both had a few too many libations? Please, don't read too far into it, we're just friends?

This war rages on the eve of Bob's most holiest of holidays, a time of prayer and reflection, a time of feasting and joy. But how can The Brain have joy when all this chaos occurs? We did the only thing we could do, and we turned to the Church of Maroon.

Our adherents wore their rosaries, and gathered in a great throng:
[IMG]http://blog.spout.com/wp-content/uploads/mardi-gras-made-in-china-2_.jpg[/IMG]

Before I continue: [i]Throng[/i]. Such a wonderful word.

We gathered our chalices to pour our wine of communion with the great spirits that the Church worships:
[IMG]http://www.lesliepaintedglass.com/products/images/occasions/mardi_gras.jpg[/IMG]

And one by one, we assembled at the altar to pray.
[IMG]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/20/72349051_e43aa001df.jpg[/IMG]

We began to consume our wine, and exchange rosaries with our adherants, and our reflection was still marred by chaos. On this, the most holiest of holidays, how could we [i]possibly[/i] maintain what web of paper that was only singed, and not burnt to a crisp? How could we hold our hearts (which ship blood and alcohol to the Brain, a cruel taskmaster are we) through this time?

And in a flash (not of light, but other wonderful visions), we had the answer.

In this, termed the Cluster#%& War, as well as many other names of varying wit, we of The Brain turn to celebrate our most holiest of days and tell the world:

"@(%& this noise. We have more important things to do. [i]Fill the sacremental tub![/i]"

[IMG]http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/5017/n512598949811511772.jpg[/IMG]

/s/

[i]Xiao Weng, Pastor of the Church of Maroon
Mouth of the Brain
Yes Brains Have Mouths[/i]

tldr: No, war. Just no. We like you and all, but you're just not for us. We're broadening our horizons.
P.S. Have a kitten.
[img]http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/00791/kitten-cannon_791084i.jpg[/img]

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[quote name='chairmanR' date='09 February 2010 - 11:25 AM' timestamp='1265736327' post='2170767']
Why are you wasting Admin's bandwidth?
[/quote]

To specifically annoy you. I'm glad to see it's working.

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LOL at announcement, standing ovation at the decision :awesome:

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[quote name='Mundokiir' date='09 February 2010 - 01:02 PM' timestamp='1265738578' post='2170827']
WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU GO OUT ONTO THE BATTLEFI-... Aww. It's a kitty! ^.^
[/quote]
[img]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/cat_proximity.png[/img]
One of the few absolutes in life.

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[quote name='Locke' date='09 February 2010 - 12:19 PM' timestamp='1265739598' post='2170848']
[img]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/cat_proximity.png[/img]
One of the few absolutes in life.
[/quote]
It was on my mind the entire post.

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[quote name='Black Phoenix' date='09 February 2010 - 12:06 PM' timestamp='1265738783' post='2170835']
Protesting this. Xiao, you aren't a pastor in the Church of Maroon.
[/quote]

My credentials are in my other ja-LOOK IT'S A KITTY
[img]http://blog.stixblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/kitty.jpeg[/img]

Kitty and a splash of gun porn at the same time. Hello, mpol.

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While I can definitely understand your desire to stay out of this god awful war that has no real purpose anymore, tiger cubs are far superior to kitties:

[img]http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff16/mafihotz/tutztutz/006_siberian_tiger_cub.jpg[/img]
[img]http://blogs.reuters.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/tiger-300.jpg[/img]

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dont worry brain, you are not alone.
We are sitting on the couch with our hot dawgs and Bud Lite, watching this clusterF@#K consume all!

It is rather interesting from Our 60" flat panel HDTV. :awesome:

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[quote name='Xiao Weng' date='09 February 2010 - 10:41 AM' timestamp='1265740876' post='2170884']
My credentials are in my other ja-LOOK IT'S A KITTY
[img]http://blog.stixblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/kitty.jpeg[/img]

Kitty and a splash of gun porn at the same time. Hello, mpol.
[/quote]

That might just be one of the most awesome Pics EVAR!

Enjoy your popcorn! And Beer.

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I've missed Xiao Weng posts, I really have. You should do this more often. ^_^

Is that light beer I see in the sacramental tub?

Thank you, but I have plenty of kitties of my own, I'll pass. Still cute though. :wub:

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[quote name='Mirreille' date='09 February 2010 - 10:04 PM' timestamp='1265753079' post='2171254']
Is that light beer I see in the sacramental tub?
[/quote]

We at The Brain do not condone the drinking of light beer anymore than we do this Cluster$#&%. That's a tub full of Carlsberg, Stella, Fosters and Strongbow, also known as Freelancer's Sunday afternoon.

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