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John Warbuck

ADI Files a Complaint

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[center][img]http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd145/theboss314159/ADIflag1-1.jpg[/img][/center]
A long time ago, I got really, incredibly drunk. Well, that happens often, but in this case, it led to a booze driven romp with a woman who would end up being the most crazy woman I ever knew. The only reason that I would even need to give this woman any attention was due to the failure of a product produced by Troy.

When choosing my prophylactics, I came across [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBr98Nji-mA]this commercial[/url] from one of Troy's competitors. The commercial actually motivated me to buy Troy's product instead. I figured that if it could protect me from a car door, it would definitely protect me from untold financial consequences later on. And this is where the crazy woman comes into play...

Nine months after I used this product, I was contacted by this psychotic woman and it was demanded of me that I pay child support. Not only have I needed to pay 30% of my multi-million dollar income to this woman, but she's just generally been a pain in my rear non-stop ever since. So, seeing as the Trojan manufactured product did not achieve its intended purpose, I demanded a refund.

After many inquiries, Troy still refuses to refund me the twelve dollars and eighty-three cents that I spent on their defunct product, telling me that they do not guarantee the product's effectiveness, and that there is a 7% chance of failure. I do not know why I should spend my hard earned money on a product that is only 93% effective and so I felt shortchanged and vowed that I would get my money back one day, some way and some how.

Well, recently, the producer of this crap product decided to attack the Fellowship of Elite Allied Republics. My opportunity has finally arrived. Therefore, the Aqua Defense Initiative activates Article III of the FEAR the Aqua Defense Pact which reads:

[quote]Article III - Article of Mutual Defense
Direct Defense) If either alliance comes under attack while not at war the other will declare war upon the aggressor.
Chaining Defense) If either alliance comes under attack due to being at war for fulfilling mandatory outside treaty obligation then the other will declare war upon the aggressor, so long as they do not hold a treaty with the aggressor. In which case they may remain neutral.[/quote]

The forces of the Aqua Defense Initiative shall conquer the tall walls of Troy with their newly designed Trojan Horse Inter Continental Ballistic Nuclear Missiles until my refund is received. The Aqua Defense Initiative hereby declares war on Troy.

In all seriousness, I wish Troy the best of luck. I understand that you have entered this war to defend your friends, and ADI is doing the same. Here is to a good, clean, and honorable fight. Good luck!

Signed,

[i]John Warbuck[/i] of New Aligned States- Lord High Sentinel
[i]Yuurei[/i] of Exedore- Judicator
[i]Hamil[/i] of Kaplechistan- Arbiter
[i]Archon Daverin[/i] of Caridos- Arbiter
[i]Kingly[/i] of Quaaraaq- Lord of Defense
[i]Lord Tri[/i] of Tribathia- Lord of Foreign Affairs
[i]Magister Populi[/i] of Latium- Lord of Internal Affairs
[i]Nathan Grant[/i] of Elgin- Lord of Finance

[center][img]http://i773.photobucket.com/albums/yy18/JohnShepard/DRAFT2.png[/img][/center]

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Have fun out there, ADI. And good luck. Part of me wouldn't be surprised to see a bandwagoner or two come in on you just out of spite, so you might need the luck.

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[center][img]http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/7531/mofa.jpg[/img][/center]

[u][b]A Message from the Aqua Defense Initiative Lord of Foreign Affairs, to the member nations of Troy:[/b][/u]

As Lord of Foreign Affairs, I always pray for a diplomatic solution to all problems. On this day, the member nations of the Aqua Defense Initiative will be meeting the armed forces of Troy on the battlefield. As per Article III of the "FEAR the Aqua Defense Pact", and Troy's attack on our allies, we find ourselves unable to find a diplomatic solution to prevent this war. However, the Aqua Defense Initiative will consider it an honor to meet Troy in combat. We wish you, the member nations of Troy, the very best of luck on the battlefield.

Now, as an Irishman, one often finds himself caught between a rock and a hard place (usually after waking up at three o'clock in the morning next to a rather large Scottish woman/possible man). As such, any self-respecting Irishman finds himself praying to a God and, just as often, screaming obscenity's at Him. But for now, I pray for both our alliances to fight with a ferocity unlike any other, to fight without fear of what's to come, to fight with honor, and should we fall, may we fall with pride in our hearts, a flag in our hands, and battle cry on our tongues. Above all, I pray for peace and a swift end to this conflict, not to mention Troy and ADI heading to the pub for drinks afterwards. Until then, to all the nations of Troy, I salute you.


[u][b]A Message from the Aqua Defense Initiative Lord of Foreign Affairs, to the member nations of FEAR:[/b][/u]

Here's to the four hinges of society.
May you fight, steal, lie and drink.
When you fight, may you fight for your country.
When you steal, may you steal away from bad company.
When you lie, may you lie at the side of your sweetheart.
And when you drink, may you drink with me.


In conclusion,
o/ ADI!
o/ FEAR!
o/ Troy!

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RoK does our PIAT have a Optional Defense clause you could somehow use here?

Just wondering~

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[quote name='Xiphosis' date='03 February 2010 - 06:57 PM' timestamp='1265176632' post='2155555']
Surprised you didn't fake some logs for a CB.
[/quote]
SLOWPOKE!

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o/ ADI

[quote]Here's to the four hinges of society.
May you fight, steal, lie and drink.
When you fight, may you fight for your country.
When you steal, may you steal away from bad company.
When you lie, may you lie at the side of your sweetheart.
And when you drink, may you drink with me.
[/quote]

I can drink to that! Cheers! Hope you got your 12 bucks back! :)

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[quote name='Lord Boris' date='02 February 2010 - 09:56 PM' timestamp='1265176561' post='2155537']
Have fun out there, ADI. And good luck. Part of me wouldn't be surprised to see a bandwagoner or two come in on you just out of spite, so you might need the luck.
[/quote]


[quote name='Penlugue Solaris' date='02 February 2010 - 09:56 PM' timestamp='1265176600' post='2155544']
RoK does our PIAT have a Optional Defense clause you could somehow use here?

Just wondering~
[/quote]


[quote name='SpiderJerusalem' date='02 February 2010 - 09:57 PM' timestamp='1265176669' post='2155562']
That's it, I am joining Troy
[/quote]


[quote name='Lancer' date='02 February 2010 - 09:59 PM' timestamp='1265176795' post='2155589']
How can we chain this to us?

Get to work Hoo.
[/quote]


We can wait.

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[quote name='FreddieMercury' date='03 February 2010 - 06:12 AM' timestamp='1265177520' post='2155683']
o/ ADI

Blow stuff up or something!
[/quote]

I think we can do that.

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