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A Press Release From the Corporation


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[center][img] http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn22/iCleanACV/TheCorporationBanner2.png[/img][/center]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE, FROM THE DESK OF THE CEO

[b]Corporate Expansion[/b]

[i]OWRP, PLANET BOB – Feb 2, 2010[/i]

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We at the Corporation really like those guys in NEW. In fact, we have so much respect for them, we would like to officially announce that we have just recently opened a new branch of The Corporation in Indonesia. We will be offering to its people all of our fabulous products that people in other parts of world are currently enjoying. Unfortunately, our kind gesture was met with NEW declaring war on our affiliates in Athens. The Corporation’s staff was, in a word, hurt by this turn of events. Indeed it seemed NEW was disinterested in sampling our wonderful wares and, dare I say, they didn’t even want our spectacular Indonesia-exclusive value package. We were even going to throw in a free talking iClean cereal spoon with each one just for them! Press the button on the back of his head and he says one of his patented catch-phrases!


[center][img] http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y105/lunar_shade/iCleanspoonarms.png[/img][/center]

But now we’re forced into a difficult spot. We have a lot of respect for NEW, but after crunching some numbers and sitting through some hellish board meetings, it’s been determined that, despite the cost of war, leaving our Greek affiliates to fight their opponents by themselves would be far less profitable in the long run than if we choose to back them up. You may disagree, but please refrain from arguing. The last thing we need is Kev coming on here with his damn charts again.

Anyway, we like you NEW, but in the interest of business, The Corporation hereby declares war upon the Nusantara Elite Warriors.

NEW, our severely under-paid employees have been toiling for hours to make the goods we wanted to sell and you WILL be sampling our merchandise even if we have to strap them to our nukes and fire them at you.

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Now, would it really be a Corporate DoW if we didn’t post our (now) infamous (and patented) Golf Carts of War? Last declaration caused quite a bit of internal controversy in the Corporation, seeing as one of our less liked members, Archer, decided to question whether Segway’s were in fact, golf carts. As such, you’re in for a treat. Tonight, we have ourselves a purebred. No, no cross breeding with scooters and no silly hybrids. Tonight, you get the real deal.

[center][img] http://therawfeed.com/pix/golf_cart_security.jpg[/img]
[img] http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2667/3753122990_775199e265_o.jpg [/img][/center]

Full Speed Towards iClean!

Signed,
I “the Generalissimo” Clean, Chief Executive Officer and Commanding Officer of the General Staff
Kevin McDonald, Chairman of the Board and Executive Officer of the General Staff

C-Level Officers:
Bungalo Bill, Chief Security Officer
LegendoftheSkies, Chief Communications Officer
Hereno, Chief Administrative Officer
Obiwan, Chief Finance Officer

Board of Directors,
CyberRuler, Colonel
Jake997, Director of Human Resources
Jon Archer, Director of Developmental Research
Akeetti, Director of Supply
5 Star Playa, Director of Technology

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[quote name='Mr Damsky' date='02 February 2010 - 11:47 PM' timestamp='1265172429' post='2154627']
I hope you get destroyed, Corp.

Good luck!
[/quote]
Hope is such a meaningless word without action behind it.

I'd tell you guys to have fun, but you seem to be doing a good job of it. I do want one of those spoons though. :awesome:

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hmmm...

[b]iClean:[/b] Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?

[b]some random noob:[/b] The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.

[b]iClean:[/b] Wrong! Drakconus! What is best in life?

[b]Drakconus:[/b] To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

[b]iClean:[/b] Hoohah! That is good! That is good.


*raises tankard* Here's to a good fight NEW.

Edited by Drakconus
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