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Crymson

Official Announcement from The Order of the Paradox

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Official Announcement from The Order of the Paradox

Declaration of War

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This announcement concerns Paradoxia's stance on the current conflict. Our statement is as follows:

OFFICIAL MEMO

To all subsection managers,

In response to the overwhelming need for more efficient statistics management in the Order, we have decided to alter our organizational subsystems immediately. In keeping with the changes we are making, we have decided that employees must begin putting coversheets on all outgoing TPS reports. Please ensure that this memo reaches your workers ASAP.

Best,

Crymson

Lead Project Manager

Wait, that's not it. Darnit, Feanor! You put the wrong fax in the machine. Okay... alright, here's the right one:

TOP Declaration of war

The Order of the Paradox herein announces its entry into this conflict, with declarations of war on the forces of the Complaints and Grievances Union. We thank the Global Order of Darkness for trailblazing the trend of a “coalition-wide CB” entry into a war.

To our opponents: We agree with the New Polar Order's reasons for war against \m/, and we consider ourselves part of that particular side of the war. For our part, however, much our reason to enter this war lies in our desire to defeat those who have shown time and time again, in public and in private, that doing harm to us is high on their agenda---and that, indeed, they would take advantage of any advantageous opportunity to do so. This is a war they have brought upon themselves.

To those alongside whom we go to battle in this particular theater: Let's raise some hell and take some names. It is an honor to go to battle at your side.

To all alongside whom we fight in this larger war: You have our support. We stand together.

We'd like to conclude this declaration of war with a poem we've written for this occasion:

Tally ho, tally ho

Merrily off to war we go

Not a fan? A shame for you, that

For we've come a'riding to collect your stats!

Onward, Paradoxia!

Signed,

Crymson, Grandmaster, 1/3 of the Holy Trinity, stukach hunter

SkyGreenChick, Grand Hospitaller, first female Council member, the holder of the official Order's whip, and accidental 1/3rd of the current Holy Trinity

Feanor, Grand Chancellor, 1/3rd of the Holy Trinity, and the Sword of Johan

GuardianofNewbs, Grand Legate, Paradoxian.

Tushar Dhoot, Grand Treasurer, Economic Mastermind and Winner of Wars.

ChaosTheory, Grand Defender, defender of e-honor, pixels and all things moral on internet text-games

Berith, Grand Inductor, The Singularity

HellAngel, Councilor-at-Large, the man without fancy names

Craven, Heptagon Alderman, Immortal Emperor of the Land of Lightning and Proud Member of TOP "This is the part where you bow to me and tell me how handsome I am"

mitchh, Heptagon Alderman, Champion Hospitaller First Class, liker long walks on beaches

Zebedee, Heptagon Alderman, Paradoxian.

Tex, Heptagon Alderman, master of texas, slayer of kings, harbinger of fine women and alcohols.

Bodvar Jarl, Heptagon Alderman, buzz killer

Crazy Canuck, Heptagon Alderman, reincarnated soul of TOP.

Timberland, Heptagon Alderman, wearer of the mud hole stomping boots.

aaannndddyyy, destroyer of pixels, grave dancer (hi ES), worshiper of the platypus, infra loving paradoxian til death.

AAlumni, Super Genius, Chess Master, Evil Spock and all-around good guy

Aesis, Grand Defender of the Order Emeritus, Militant 2nd Class

AFI, Follower of Johan

Ajaxpenny, Rememberer of the Past and Catalyst of the Future

alpreb, High Champion of the Order, Historian of the Order

Armutso, LF1 night stands, General Assembly, Member of TOP.

AvengerNL, village idiot

Avernite, Queen Mother QM.gif

aznjons, Patrician of AnkhMorpork, TAFKA The Viridian Lightning, Proud Paradoxian

BadBoyBill signing another dang DOW still miffed about the last signing for a non war this better be a real war this time or maybe I'll just refuse to use any punctuation in my sentence structure from here on out and see just how many lines of text that I can write in a cohesive manner before you stop reading because the amount of frustration you feel for not having a period or comma or even an exclamation so that you can't even take a breath while your reading this and if you have made it this far my fellow warriors well for Christ sakes put a rock in your crack pipe and fire in the hole:)

Baron Watkin deSandersted, City State of Alisaunder, Orange Team, The Order of the Paradox

Basharious; Knight Commander, Militant 1st Class. Paradoxia's one man band.

Batman, Who the **** do you think I am

Benevlan, what is this I don't even, Member of GA, Knight Hospitaller

Blue Lightning - This alliance signature thing is stupid. I mean, legally speaking, don't we sign everything we do with the Council's signature serving as that of the alliance anyway? I for one am not signing this gobbledegook. Also Hello.

BudLight, who traded away his soul with his V-card, tactless and unbridled, yet somehow refined and tasteful. Also smaller than most of TOP's ghosts.

Buller, the blunt, general cool guy.

Bunka, ready to die by command!

Caliper, Grand Purveyor of Cheese

Carl the Conqueror, Lord of Inactivity, Master of the Airwaves, Wrath of the 3rd Chapter

Casey, resident cookiemonger and member of the 6th brigade

Celial, The Greatest Bobo of GreatBobonistan

Consul of Monkeys, lover of baked beans on toast, paradoxian forever.

Crispy, Unknown.

Croix, The French-Pole, bane of microalliances everywhere, No I'm not Adrian La Croix, and my name is pronounced French. Not Crocks, D:

CrossOfMight, Holy Warrior, 5th brigade slacker , Member of TOP

Daedalus, High Champion of The Order of the Paradox.

Decrepdsol, Harbinger of Destruction, TOP 3rd Brigade

Deus, better the paradox of ZI than tyranny of evil.

DougZ37 - Master of Traps - Man of the Night

DukeWilliam, Partaker in elaborate list signings.

EngineerSean, spy, nuclear rogue, and thief

ewatk432, [insert witty, yet thoughtful, but still forceful nickname here]

Extremelyaverage--The TRUE order Of the Paradox--Champion of Words, Speaker of Truth, and The Best Qualitative Researcher in the Game.

Feanor, Grand Chancellor of the Order, 1/3rd of the Holy Trinity and the Sword of Johan.

Fighter26, Minister of foreign duck and llama affairs

floridamcmarion1, TOP embalmer in residence

Friar, ruler of Taiga. 7th Brigade toppatriot.gif

Frydchikn, Good with hotsauce, Better with beer, Best in TOP

Fulgrim, Scion of Chemos, Lord of the Lurkers, Bearer of Furstenburg and other Pilsners of exceptional quality, Originator of the Ponzi Scheme.

Hagar, Grand Defender of all Paradoxians playing CORE for Hearts of Iron, TOP member till death

harmoxe, an unnecessary load on the server.

Hasin, Champion of the Sun, Master of Karate

Hayzell, Twilight Vanquisher, Champion Millitant, 2nd Class, 5th Brigade Commander

Hepokatti, Turhanpäiväinen juntti Suomesta, Stat collector, Proud member of TOP

Herbert, The Herbe-Fox, superduper fantastico almighty goodness-in-a-bottle not-to-be-denied 6th man.

His Holiness Josh F, Greater then you on all levels, Loyal member of TOP

Ice, The Peace Mode Guy, sleep.gif

Incognito, proud member of TOP

Inferno of Ariana, Keeper of the Fingerspitzengefuhl, Shaman, Dark Grämling Revolutionary

Ivegottheskill, Gentleman and Scholar, Infra Hugger 1st Class, Bringer of Nuclear Anarchy, He Who Stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar, Well Liked by Animals

jaaku - dark gatekeeper, dude who sometimes says stuff, and total %*$#bag

Janosik, Praefectus, Decrepit Chaptermaster, Madman, on run from authorities O.O

Jayne Cobb - Hero of Canton, Manticore X5-494, Champion of the ruttin' Mudders

Jenko, Tech Whore, Infra Hugger and Hander of @#$%.

Jhovozhymeh, Shameless Whovian, Part Time Lurker, Proud Paradoxian

Jinnai, Pure Evil Genius

Joe Kremlin, Observer of Wars, Knight Hospitaller, TOP Member

Kaiser, Fine Gentleman and Bum of the Order

Kantenbauer: also Bob

Keith AbelaWadge of Msida, member of TOP, from the small country in the Mediterranean, MALTA

Keresztes, red cross, Member of TOP, Tsar and Autocrat of all the Sapins, Grand Duke of the Balkan Alps, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera

Kiss Goodbye, Knight Concilliator, Voice of Reason unheard

Kommie, TOP Member Since: Aug 28 2006

Kongo, Kongo

Kuzuryusen, Tech is Delicious.

LiquidMercury, Wrath of Karma, Destroyer of Worlds, Tech Whore, TOP MEMBER

Locke, Dancer of the Eternal Flame

Maladieshie, Defender of the peace pipe, Raider of the cookie jar, In hoc signo vinces.

Manwell, God amongst amoebas, professional tonka truck driver, English herbsman

Master Splinter, occasional poster, founder of Bunkaism, Immortal of the Eighth Chapter, that one guy... with the rat picture, yeah that one

Minarchist--Harbinger of Johan in the Cyberverse

Mongrel, biting your leg after urinating on your carpet.

Monkeydee, Actively Retired, Forever Virgin.

Mortale, Prutser and Congratulations you made it this far now go read the rest.

MrCyber, Bringer of Death and Destruction, Master of the Skies, Ruler of the Seas.

Murmurandus the Slow...

necAnt, King of Ants, Leader of MTftA (More Tech For The Ants), TOP-Member

NorthernLights, The Midnight Toker, the noodle knocker, that guy coming for your jewels & ATX banga

Offler, Mr. Mom, part time internet Smart $@!

Ojiras Ajeridas, almost intelligent, almost scary, completely TOP

Pike, Cannon fodder, Proud member of TOP

Pino

Ponken, Artist of the Order and King of the Sea

President Obama, infra hugger and member of The Order of The Paradox

Pseudodragon, Freeloading Oldtimer

Rector, Champion Hospitaller, Tech Repo Specialist

romanfool, Stat Collector, Coward, Useless Ally, Member of the Order of the Paradox

ROMMEL_HSQ, of Palestine4ever, ex-Heptagon alderman, Emperor of TOP and FOK, double spy for TOP and Gremlins, bringer of cute females, Brigade Commander of the 1st Brigade

Ruphus Elderbeer, Guard Dog of TOP. WOOF!

Saber, El Diablo, High Priest of Saberites, Holy Trinity Member, Resident Worf, Manticoran and last of the Desert Rats!

Sadinoelus, Connoisseur of needlessly over-elaborate deathtraps and, should that fail, shooting people in the face

Salajol, Grand Defender Emeritus of the Order, Militant 2nd Class, and consumer of oversized burritos.

SanderP, kicking your gf for $10 and a bag of cheetos.

Shardoon, Oldtown, Arient

Shadawg, masticator of infra, solver of problems , proud TOP foot soldier

Simon De Montfort, Minister of Silly Films

SomeGuy, still sleeping.

Sodom Gomorrah, Heptagon Alderman and Champion Hospitallier of Paradoxia, Highlord of the Northern realms.

Spacehusky, Firer of Missiles

I, Strahd von Zarovich, Darklord of Barovia and Manticore

Suicidal4289- Reaper of my enemies, and follower of the platypus

TailsK, The Two Tailed, Cunning Like A Fox, Aid System Extraordinaire, Paradoxian.

talin, Finally

tekken, 1337 lurker, in for the kill, TOP member

Telchar, :smug:

TheHighExalted, mostly inactive, but not inactive enough to save you.

THUNDER-X, Twister of Fate, Pope of Chilitown, and master of Simpsons Trivia

TonytheTiger, a Proud Paradoxian Nation.

tripp_trap, nostalgia guardian extraordinaire, commissar of the 9th chapter, ghost of the Golden Hall.

Tyon, Member of TOP, Boss of Outer-Heaven and loveable tree hugger.

Uncle Bryan of Left Out. Yes, I am old enough to be your uncle, and have been playing strategy games since before you were born

Unspeakable Evil: Paradoxical Minister of Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics; Stats Collector Prime

Urmom, Officer of the Damned, Master of the Swarm

V The King, Paradoxian Footballer Extraordinaire, also a headbanger (\m/ >_< \m/) and very very unjust towards his enemies

Viceä, Lord of Flies, member of paradox.

Vladimir Stukov, Knight Commander, Grand Defender Emeritus of the Order, Militant 2nd Class

WalkerNinja, The Mad Titan, Death's Consort, Bearer of the Infinity Gauntlet

Xcruciate - Collector of Caffeine, Hoarder of Half and Half, Scavenger of Sugar, Primed to pour scalding liquid on all those that oppose.

Yalaria. Emperor of the western seas and Lord of the knitting circle. Paradoxian.

Yir Yoronti, teh Sausage Man, High priest of the temple of Timberland and ebil overlord of the Grey Knights

And everyone else...

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The honor is ours...

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Way to attack someone who isn't involved. I heard about this, but I must admit, I never thought you would actually go through with something so ridiculous.

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So..you attacked us for the hell of it?

Alright.

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You have no idea how happy you have made us. Congratulations on waking the sleeping giant.

Also, your opsec sucks.

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I was wondering how long it'd take before pre-emptive strikes would be used. I approve.

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I will enjoy watching all you have built burned to the ground.

And to NpO, this is who you fight with? Old grudges apparently are easily overcome in the halls of Polaris.

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