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Feng Ficai Steps Out


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Bang Po

"You can't be serious," asks Deng Xiao.

"I'm dead serious, we must make contacts in the international community, and I like to fish," replies Ficai.

"This will end badly," replies Deng Xiao as he ducks to avoid Ficai's cast with his fly rod.

Announcement to International Leaders

Guangxi wishes to announce, with some trepidation of course, the wishes of its leader Ficai to go fishing. Further, we hope that these times will allow our nation and yours to form closer ties and a greater understanding.

Guangxi's Foreign Minister

Bang Po International Airport

Ficai stands ready with his fly rod and airplane for the invitations to come trickling in. Of course he doesn't expect a flood of them as not everyone is a enthusiast of fishing. However, there has to be one head of state out there that knows how to use a fly rod. Not one of those sissy bait casters either, those are for chumps.

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Bang Po International Airport

"Well that didn't work, someone get my passport and I'll just go as a tourist," orders Ficai.

"Sir, where do you want to head first?"

"I dunno, somewhere in Asia though, Europe sounds like a bad place for fishing at the moment."

"Very well, might we suggest New Zealand?"

"Is that what they call it these days?"

"I haven't the faintest, you know how it is with countries changing their names on a weekly basis."

"Very well, someone get me a map, and a phone, I'm calling who ever owns New Zealand, or whatever its called, and asking them if its ok for me going fishing."

"Right away sir," replies the exasperated assistant.

Ten Minutes Later

Ficai punches the last number into the cellphone and listens to it rings as he calls the Greater Pacifica Tourism Bureau (or whatever it is you call it).

Edited by Tidy Bowl Man
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"Yes, you don't me, you probably don't want to know me either so I'll keep this short. I want to go fishing in Greater Pacifica, specifically outside of Wellington. What sort of visa do I need and do I need some sort of license," asks Feng Ficai? As he speaks he waves his hand at his assistant and motions for the man to bring him a pencil and a piece of paper.

His small group of Ministers, Aides, Flunkies, and so forth all fumble about to no avail. Finally one of the men who refuels the airplanes on the tarmac quietly approaches and hands Ficai a ratty old stub of a pencil and a scrap of paper torn off the back page of a particularly lurid magazine that the refueler swears he only reads for the articles.

Ficai looks at the scrap of paper, despairs at the lack of morals in the world today, and returns his attention to the

person at the other the phone.

Edited by Tidy Bowl Man
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Feng Ficai looks at the phone after his ear is filled with static. He snorts and looks at his aidE with an angry glare before asking, "You sure that is the right number?"

"Yes sir."

"Hmmm, well those chaps from the Kingdom of Cochin seem nice enough. What is their number?"

"Sir, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Look boy, I haven't been fishing in over a year. You spend a year of your life trying to put together a nation whilst working with a protecting power."

"Good point sir, I'll find the number," replies the aide.

Feng Ficai dials the number to the Kingdom of Cochin Tourism Bureau and waits...

Edited by Tidy Bowl Man
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"Yes, I'm wondering what sort of visa I'd need to do some fishing in the Kingdom of Cochin? I'd like to do some fly fishing, none of that pansy bait casting either. Would I need a license to fish as well? Also, would the Mahseer river be open to me, I've heard wonderful things about the trout fishing in that area," Feng Ficai asks hopefully?

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"Yes, I'm wondering what sort of visa I'd need to do some fishing in the Kingdom of Cochin? I'd like to do some fly fishing, none of that pansy bait casting either. Would I need a license to fish as well? Also, would the Mahseer river be open to me, I've heard wonderful things about the trout fishing in that area," Feng Ficai asks hopefully?

"You would need a Tourist Visa issued from a Cochin Diplomatic Mission. You would need to contact your nearest Cochin Embassy or Cochin Consulate and request for the Visa. Appointments for Visa request could be made online through links in Cochin Tourism Bureau's website.

There are no licenses required for fly fishing in the Kingdom, however certain areas may require special transit permits from Ministry of Interior. As regards Mahseer River, the western part of the river is open for fly fishing and no permits are required, however since the area is very close to Cochin-Dragonisian border fishing further east is prohibited.

Cochin Tourism Bureau offers customized tour packages for specific experiences. Would you like to opt for the Subcontinental Nature Tourism Package?

Would you require any assistance in your travel plans? Cochin Tourism Bureau could organize and schedule your transportation and lodging requirements customized to your choice of experience and payment."

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Feng Ficai ponders a package deal for a few seconds before saying,"The subcontinental package deal sounds good. My Minister of Tourism and International Relations will be along, he probably can stand to learn a thing or two. How much for six people, three of them being bodyguards?"

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Feng Ficai ponders a package deal for a few seconds before saying,"The subcontinental package deal sounds good. My Minister of Tourism and International Relations will be along, he probably can stand to learn a thing or two. How much for six people, three of them being bodyguards?"

"But of course, Sir. The cost for the package would be Cochin Rupees XXXXX. Now regarding transportation we have two options available for you. You may either choose a complete round trip starting from Guanxi or one starting from Cochin City. Air Garuda has flights from near Guanxi to Cochin International Airport where you would be met by a Cochin Tourism Bureau guide. There are regular Cochin Airways flights from Cochin International Airport to Mysore Provincial Airport. From Mysore you would be taken on a Sports Utility Vehicle to the fishing area. You would be provided with well attended jungle cottages to stay during the duration of your trip. The CTB guide would facilitate all your needs."

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"Well that a one way trip and the SUV as we'll be moving on from the Kingdom of Cochin to our next fishing destination," replies Feng Ficai as he motions his assistants to collect his fly rods and luggage.

"Very well Sir, we shall await your arrival."

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Feng Ficai's assistants turn around to witness their fearless leader mounting a nearby aircraft's boarding ramp like the Marines storming the beaches of Iwo Jima. One caustically mutters, "I wish he'd put the same energy into getting his paperwork sorted out," as he huffs and puffs his way up the ramp.

The Minister of Tourism, who overheard the remark, asks, "This is going to suck isn't it?"

"Don't be so glum, he'll be up to his hips in a river all day, the last time he drug us all out fishing we spent most of our day draining the hotel bar," another assistant remarks.

"Yeah and he took the cost of it out of our wages," yet another observes as they file their way onto the place.

Several Hours later the pilot radios ahead to the Kingdom of Cochin, "This is flight Oscar Meyer requesting clearance to enter Kingdom of Cochin Airspace.... I repeat..."

Edited by Tidy Bowl Man
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Feng Ficai scrambles down the boarding ramp holding his fly rod in one hand and his hip waders in the other. He looks around for the waiting SUV as his staff unload his baggage and their own personal effects. Turning to his Minister of Tourism he says, "Now look damn it, the only one having fun on this trip is me. You get to work, pay attention and talk to people. See what you can learn and see if you can make any connections."

"Yes sir," the Minister of Tourism says as he waits by Feng Ficai.

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The tourists from Guanxi would be met by Ms. Sulekha Venu, "Welcome to Cochin Mr. Ficai. Would you care to wait in our CTB lounge while waiting for the flight to arrive? The flight would arrive in about one hour and then it is a six hour flight to Mysore."

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