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North Korea Response To Rebel Force Which Threaten Right of Dear Leader To Ban Bacon Within Worker's State Of Korea

Greeting once amore. It are I, Park Hwang-Bo. Recent, a misleaded and foolful alliance knowned as BACoN are declare war on North Korea. They are claim to be free bacon for their people, and claim that North Korea is terrible country for ban bacon. They maked pathetic propaganda movie that be fulled of so many lie. I, Park Hwang-Bo, were put in charge of making truthfulled and honest movie of VietHam war. Before we reveal masterpiece, Nigel Burnsley had writtened arguments about whys BACoN are wrong, and a special, never-before-seen speech from Kim Jong-Ils.

Bacon. Synonymous with succulent, moist, crisp and delicious. But it is also synonymous with Deadly.

Our Dear Leader, Kim Jong-Il, used to consume much bacon, incorporating it into his healthy, balanced diet of lobster, fine wine, chocolate eclairs, turkish delight and pringles.

Last year, Kim Jong-Il, our Dear and Eternal Leader, suffered a heart attack. He demanded that his top officials investigate this matter, and they returning to him with a troubling outcome. It turns out his bacon had been poisoned with fat, grease and excess salt. Kim Jong-Il was shocked, and found out that his other foods had been poisoned with similar chemicals.

His officials did much research and discovered that a treatment plan known as 'Jenny Craig' was the only cure for this specific poisoning. He was reluctant initially, until he heard "You can eat all the food you want, and still lose the weight!", which cleared up all concerns he had with the treatment.

So with his recovery secured, he immediately made a speech at the United Alliances regarding the incident:

"I been good guy my whole life. Santa always leave me lots of present, and people say how much they loves me, sometime even when gun not pointed at their head! But for past 69 year, I been poisoned by dangerous and little known chemical called 'calories' and 'fat'. Because of this, I ban all bacon in North Korea and replace it with even more leafs and barks."

The BACoN Delegate rose to his feet, screaming about the injustices of the North Korean Government, and had to be forcefully removed.

Days later, BACoN guerilla fighters invaded North Korea, using the slogan:

"Over you must not fork

Your precious supply of pork"

The following movie is to show you the resilience and strength of the VietJong forces:

Vietham War

We will win. There are numerous reasons why North Korea is better than BACoN, despite the lies they may tell you:


We're Eco-Friendly


We're always the life of the party


"Who needs protection?" - Kim Il Sung


Edited by Kaiser Gutenhagen
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I am Emp, and I don't approve this thread.

o/ BACoN

And so what if bacon causes death? We all have to die sometime, might as well get the most out of life.

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By the way, I have a solution for this conflict. My nation is starting to sell "Diet Bacon" if you guys are interested we can discuss it. Each Ton of diet bacon comes with 356 free units of diet double quarter pounders...

How does it taste?

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Oh man... I was afraid someone would ask that....ok never mind...

Yeah, nothing is as good as the real thing ya know.

o/ BACoN

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