llamavore Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 (edited) To bake me a delicious cupcake. Should you fail to meet my demands and please my cupcake craving, I will doubt your true feelings for me. "Demands is plural! Cupcake is singular! Egad, what could it mean? Are there secret implied demands? Are we supposed to guess? I lose guessing games! This seems dangerous!" Good! Now you're worried! Well, read on then! As a casual enthusiast in evilry, petty scheming, and things of that nature, I, Llamavore, Eater of Llamas, was severely disheartened and enflamed by the general lack of horror and mortal fear in response to epic gestures of the nature I described from my dear, if somewhat amateur, co-enthusiasts in the NSO. It's a sad day for shady types all throughout the lands of Bob when our victim-counterparts have forgotten their place in the grand comedic melodrama. The world needs heroes, and the way it seeks them is by producing villains, prophets and vicars of mortal frailty, who then massage the public consciousness to a state of despair that is the life-giving nectar of the Hero Ego! But, without proper wailing, a Hero type cannot be summoned and self-realized from the depths of the seemingly average hiding among you! In such a manner, The Great Romance of Hero and Villain is constipated by jaded and unceremonious refusal to panic. This is precisely the danger in our midst! This public consciousness needs more massaging! More Tumult! More Disorder! And as a member of the Random Insanity Alliance, average though I may be, I must realize my role on the grand stage and provide the timber for the flames of injustice (pre-justice, really), EVEN if it means I, too, am brushed off and the glory of my purpose unrecognized. I may be a fly in your eyes, but I have the spirit of a pachyderm! Grunt on, target rhinoceras, I will not repent no matter how practical it might be. My demand is for cake... and for recognition! And all who in their hearts hear the truth of my message and yearn for proper ventilation of personal anger on the public, or yearn, really, for anything with inappropriate and somewhat absurd vehemence, I demand you add your demands to mine, until Bob quakes under the weight of our List of Demands and is so morbidly enthralled with our evident madness that every moment is a threshold to nightmare they cannot predict or understand. We'll have cake, and we'll prepare the world for heroism, and ourselves to be gloriously sacrificed to it. Bob, You Have Until Update. Inconditus, Dementia, Concordia. Edited December 24, 2009 by llamavore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mixoux Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 This thread is a real good way to get a Christmas DoW from GOD. And before anyone asks, I'm totally serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TehChron Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm pretty sure that in the time it took you to write this gem, it's basic premise was already disproven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamavore Posted December 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm pretty sure that in the time it took you to write this gem, it's basic premise was already disproven. surely you have demands to add? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krunk the Great Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 surely you have demands to add? We demand cupcakes. Vanilla. With Strawberry Icing. And some of those colored sprinkles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tygaland Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I demand Twinkies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamavore Posted December 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 -strokes beard and broods- We demand cupcakes. Vanilla. With Strawberry Icing. And some of those colored sprinkles. yes... I demand Twinkies. YES! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Oneill Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 i demand no less than a qp no more than a pound of that george bush kush Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoppistan Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 (edited) I demand a 3 story warehouse sized cupcake whose inside is filled with thousands of twinkies wrapped in bacon. In the center of that I want 72 young women, virgins or otherwise. Preferably otherwise. Also, don't forget to poke holes or insert straws in the giant cupcake so that the girls don't die and start to rot, which would ruin the flavor. I also need about 500,000 fresh brains to go into my robotic army so it can get rolling onto that world domination thing and get those rust buckets off my lawn- instead of being the target of my neighbors harassing phone calls to city council. Edited December 24, 2009 by Kzoppistan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tygaland Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 Jeez, want much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoppistan Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I want it all, Mr. Tiger. I want it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I demand Twinkies. I demand you at least try Diet Twinkies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tygaland Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 Blasphemy! Report to confession immediately. Father Drompper is expecting you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mayzie Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 As if the other threads weren't a big enough joke without another one of these. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamavore Posted December 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 As if the other threads weren't a big enough joke without another one of these. this is as serious as it gets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NationRuler Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 (edited) Edit: Decided that continuing to troll was a bad idea. Great post RIA. Hail hail hail etc. Edited December 24, 2009 by NationRuler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caesar833 Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 i demand no less than a qp no more than a pound of that george bush kush Ill take more then a pound. Why limit myself? Its the holidays! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voodoo Nova Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I demand you at least try Diet Twinkies! I'll take a basket of the extra-filling diet twinkies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamavore Posted December 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 this thread is too cozy. I demand more malice and inappropriate rage. Only then can you defeat me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senekis Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 this thread is too cozy. I demand more malice and inappropriate rage. Only then can you defeat me! Join the Sith. Also, the stegosauruses of Senekia demand cheese pie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penkala Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 We demand cupcakes. Vanilla. With Strawberry Icing. And some of those colored sprinkles. By update. But if you don't it's coo'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TehChron Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 (edited) By update. But if you don't it's coo'. I'll simply deploy my Sith Ninjas and take them by stealth. Edited December 24, 2009 by Chron Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daikos Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 We demand cupcakes. Vanilla. With Strawberry Icing. And some of those colored sprinkles. Strawberry icing? You sith really are sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voytek Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm pretty sure this is the most forced attempt at humour I've ever seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinan Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm being parodied. I've finally made it. YOU SEE MOM! I TOLD YOU I'D GROW UP TO BE A SOMEBODY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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