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The Old Coots' Weekly Letters


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Welcome to the very first edition of The Old Coots' Weekly Letters, ya whippersnappers. We have a very special series of newsletters in store for you in the upcoming weeks. Oddjob and myself are going to switch off every week and present to you our own issue we have in store. :v: Each week we will present to you interviews, various rants, political going-ons and all sorts of views for your entertainment. Now, you have to realize....we're older then most and as such we're slower then most. We're planning on having an issue every Friday, however odds are that due to our constant hospital visits and constant bowel movements, we may be late on an issue or two. If you'd like to help us elderly out, feel free to drop myself a personal message. It would be most appreciated!

With that said, I wish to present you with our very first issue of the OCWL. Enjoy!


The Old Coots' Weekly Letters

Issue #1

Hello there hoodlums.

I'd like to start today's issue by congratulating Ejayrazz with announcing his project, "The Ninjas", to the world. It's a very interesting and very creative idea and wish him the best with it. I know he's had something up his sleeve for awhile and it is nice to see it finally revealed to the world. Good luck to you Ejay and to the rest of the Ninjas hiding in the dark.

UCN's 2nd Birthday!

UCN Turns Two!!!!! Congrats you guys, keep on truckin' along. I haven't dealt with any of you guys but I've heard nothing but good things from you. Two years of existence on this harsh world is very impressive. I wish you good luck in future years.

STA-Silence Love

The Siberian Tiger Alliance and Silence have recently signed a MDoAP. The STA are a good bunch and I trust their judgement went it comes to friend selection, so I'm assuming that Silence are a good group as well. Congrats to both of you and I hope your friendship continues to blossom. (Also, much love to Tyga's new avatar)

Tiger's Silent Transgression Pact

Grand Global Alliance and Orange Defense Network Cancellation Evaluation (heh, it rhymes)

In other news, GGA and ODN made a long overdue cancellation recently. No surprise there. Speaking of GGA....where have they gone? I talked to ironchef a month or so ago and I got curious to what their stats had fallen too. It is just unbelievable how far these guys have fallen in statistics. They went from a sanctioned alliance to an alliance trying desperately not to fall apart. Regardless of their past actions and my past feelings towards them as a former VE member, I really do wish them a successful future. These guys are a historical alliance and it would be a huge blow to Planet Bob's community to lose them. Good luck guys, there's still people rooting for ya.

As for the ODN, all I have to say is...."wow". Have these guys came a long way politically or what? they are returning to their roots and under the reigns of Arsenal are quickly becoming one of if not the most respectable alliance in the game once again. People who are still making "Optional Defense" cracks and truly believe that they deserve no respect need to realize that the ODN rapidly changed, in my opinion, for the worst under WalkerNinja and company's rule. So to all of the haters out there, let it go. Just grab a slice of orange cake and watch Arsenal and the rest of the ODN take the Network to great places.

Quick Congrats

Quick Congratulations to Erebus who was recently founded, I know how hard it is to start a new alliance and I wish you the best. And another congrats Nueva Vida for their recent improvements and alliance gains. Gooooood luck!

Erebus' DoE

Nueva Vida Milestone Announcement

So Long!

Goodbye and good riddance to Emperor Marx, the sub-par troll from Bel Air has recently stepped down as their #2 and Czar Nick will be replacing him. Good luck to Czar Nick and here's to hoping that he does a much better job as the alliance's Carlton!

Quick Recognition

The Old Coots' Poster of the Week goes to: Pingu for the great character and professionalism he showed in the cancellation thread. You've always been a great poster Pingu. I always look forward to see what the old Penguin with a gun has to say.

To finish off today's issue we present to you a rant from Vilien followed by an interview with Chimaera, Emperor of the Imperial Assault Alliance:

The Dangers of Morality

By Vilien

The Dangers of Morality: The world that Vladimir envisioned in the Slavery of International Rights seems to be upon us. We live in fear of a global police force, claiming "morality" as it drives the last shreds of liberty and truth from our world. We fought a war for the purpose of revitalizing our society. The Karma War ended slightly less than five months ago. Since that time we've seen no conflict, no wars, and no change in the established order. The names have changed, but policy has not.

What led to this terrible state? The answer is simple: Moralism. The great and powerful have all aligned under the banner of morality, pacifism, and an acceptance of stagnation. The moralist forces are great in number and strength. Indeed, the self-righteous and self-appointed elite are not afraid to show their number. Six mighty potentates make up a moralistic front. We have been told by a great number of the most respected individuals that the moralists are all around us, and surely it must be true, for I cannot even keep track of the grand number of moralist blocs and alliances polluting our world. I assure you there are many.

In smoke filled backrooms and in closed door meetings, unnamed despots conspire with one goal at hand: the complete and total elimination of conflict. Their dangerous march to peace has been so successful and so secretive that I guarantee that not a man among you can name these adept and crafty moralist plotters. Where is our war? Where are our precious shouting matches? They've been suffocated under a giant cloak of secrecy, resolved before the participants even have any idea that they might have been going to war in the first place. We can all name the potential massive conflicts by heart that have been stopped short by the moralist forces.

We are coming close to end of war as we know it. In the good old days, one could be assured of a war every six to twelve months, conveniently spaced around holidays. Such regularity was prized by all, and the wars were almost always beneficial to the majority of participants. Sure, they were unfair, but a massacre is as entertaining as watching an eighteen wheeler rolling over a cat, in other words, very much so. In the old days, would any of these neutral menaces have been allowed to exist at peace with their precious technology gleaming in the morning light? I sincerely doubt it. Yes, the space between major wars has most definitely been increasing. Any educated person could tell you that.

Where are our curbstomps? Where are the resistance movements of the past? Where is war? All gone, gone with the days of yore. The moralists, great in number, power, and capacity, have been working tirelessly to destroy this world of ours in a mire of pacifistic co-existence. We've heard the arguments of the moralist apologists. They say that this is simply a repeat of past cool-down periods between wars. They say that moralism is not a driving force in politics, and argue that it has never been one. They're lying. Is this what we fought for in the Karma War? A stagnant society characterized by inter-bloc multipolar politics and shifting allegiances? I think not. I am tired of this new world of peace. Things were much, much better in the old days. Let's go back to the way we were.


My exclusive interview with Chimaera:

05:09:01 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Hey Kev.

(05:09:46 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: Hey Chim, glad you can make it

(05:10:04 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: Are you ready to begin?

(05:10:08 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Absolutely.

(05:10:37 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: Awesome

(05:10:49 PM) ***Kevanovia[interview] clears throat and straightens tie

(05:11:02 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: Good afternoon Planet Bob, I'm joined here today with the Emperor of the Imperial Assault Alliance, Chimaera. Chim and myself have gone way back and it is a pleasure to reconnect with him today with an interview for 'The Old Coots' Weekly Letters'.

(05:11:33 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: It's a pleasure to be here, Kev, even if I take offense at your paper's title. :P

(05:13:04 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: It's a pleasure to have a fellow old timer on like yourself. *shakes cane at the whippersnappers*

(05:13:14 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: Alright, first thing's first:

(05:13:24 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: How long have you been with the IAA?

(05:13:59 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Just over three and a half years, if you count the time we were out of Planet Bob roaming around; I've been an Imperial since July 19th, 2006.

(05:14:42 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: And out of those three and a half years, how long have you been Emperor of the ol' IAA/

(05:15:40 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Well, in CN, I was Emperor from early October of 2006 til early May of 2008, and I've been Emperor again since we reformed.

(05:17:12 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: Have you been the Emperor of the IAA anywhere other then the roaming lands of Planet Bob?

(05:18:04 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Yeah, I led IAA while we were an alliance on !@#$%* 2, but that wasn't really a big deal.

(05:20:13 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: We were all very crushed by the disbandment of Imperial Assault Alliance. IAA is one of those places, as we both know, where the community was just so in love with their fellow members/flag/charter/forums. Unfortunately war came to the lands of the IAA and their very close allies GATO, via the 1V-GATO tragedy. During that time I understand that you stepped down from IAA due to RL obligations. Were you satisfied with the way Junkalunka performed as Emperor in your stead?

(05:20:50 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Your question cut off.

(05:20:58 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: At "were you satisfied with t"

(05:21:52 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: Were you satisfied with the way Junkalunka performed as Emperor in your stead?

(05:22:11 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Hold on a second, I'm actually laughing right now.

(05:22:48 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: lol, understandable. Take your time.

(05:22:59 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Okay, here's the deal. I stepped down as Emperor at the start of the conflict - NPO had me on EZI because I had been an outspoken enemy of theirs for years, and I felt that IAA had a better chance of survival without an EZI person in charge.

(05:23:20 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: So Junkalunka stepped to the throne. CN doesn't know it, but up until that point, he had been a rational and talented leader for the Empire.

(05:24:51 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Then he goes berserk. Just absolutely stark nuts. He taunts everyone we're fighting and just creates one giant PR disaster for IAA after another.

(05:24:52 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: I agree, Junkalunka had been a very big asset for the IAA. My only problem with him had been his desire to not defend FPI....but that's a story for another day.

(05:25:16 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: What do you think set him off as such a....distasteful leader?

(05:25:46 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: So, it all comes to a head when he gets Mary the Fantabulous to make an absolutely ridiculous statement on IRC. He posted it on the OWF, of course...and NPO immediately claims the logs are fake.

(05:26:19 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Well, they give us an ultimatum - expel Junkalunka and admit he lied, or face alliance-wide PZI.

(05:26:51 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: IAA doesn't betray our leaders, even those who betray us. We don't stab people in the back when they're innocent of what they're accused of. So IAA disbanded.

(05:27:12 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Of course, Junka is now famous for saying later that he favored disbandment only because it would give him a better political situation personally.

(05:27:21 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: So I'm guessing you were for the disbandment then?

(05:27:37 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: What set him off as a distasteful leader? I think he got a big deal title and it went to his head. Just delusions of grandeur.

(05:28:16 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: Well...We could talk about Junka's future political career but then we'd have to smash our heads in for realizing that all we're doing is inflating his ego by talking about him.

(05:28:19 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: At the time, I did think disbandment was the only option IAA had at the time - I didn't want 200 nations to suffer for one or two mistakes, and it turns out I was right.

(05:29:08 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: So you wouldn't of changed IAA disbanding?

(05:29:10 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: But either way, it should've never come to that. Without his incompetent actions, and without me stepping down (my greatest regret), IAA would've never faced such an ultimatum.

(05:29:40 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: All I would have changed is that I would not have stepped down had I known what would happen. Anything afterwards becomes a toss-up without him in the scenario.

(05:31:51 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: So after IAA disbanded, where did you go? And when did you and other Imperial-loyalists decide that it was time for the IAA to rise again?

(05:33:39 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Well, I rerolled and went to GR as Strident. Quite a few Imperials followed me. I was elected their MoD, and helped to revamp and modernize their military. NPO eventually found me and GR got threatened with war over me being there, so I went back to ZI, took a couple dozen nations with me, and deleted. After that and to the time of IAA's second coming, I was never off Planet Bob, but I'd rather not disclose anything else

(05:34:26 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: I think the idea of IAA being reborn was tossed around a lot in March and April, and eventually we got around to asking all the people who had tried to kill us if that was cool, and they basically said 'sure, why not, you guys were fun to fight' and here we are.

(05:34:36 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Nearly 130 members and quickly approaching 3 million strength.

(09:49:56 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: Was it an easy transition to revive the ol' IAA or was it pretty rough?

(09:50:00 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Well it was certainly easier than starting from scratch - I had a well-defined and motivated member base far before we reformed, and that made the transition back to life much, much easier.

(09:50:45 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: So you guys planned on coming back for some time then?

(09:51:05 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: It was probably a 3 week process.

(09:51:20 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Just long enough to start rebuilding old friendships, creating new ones, and informing the membership themselves.

(09:51:54 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: As mentioned before, IAA's members had unmatched loyalty for their alliance. Do you still think that same loyalty survives in the IAA today? What pulls people towards the IAA, and what makes them stay?

(11:04:51 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Oh, I don't really know what pulls people into IAA. It could be the fact that we have a really active community, that we're well led, that they have friends in IAA, or the general attractiveness of our theme.

(11:04:56 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: But the loyalty - that's undeniable.

(11:05:25 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: Very true, the IAA has always been home to me and I'm glad to see it doing so well. Now for the last question for Part I of our interview: Orange Cake or Chocolate Pie?

(11:05:36 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Oh, that's easy. Chocolate pie.

(11:06:38 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: Oh Jeez....You better make sure you stay away from the ODN forums for the next few months after that response

(11:06:41 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: :P

(11:06:53 PM) Kevanovia[interview]: Thanks for joining us today Chim, it's been a blast.

(11:07:12 PM) Chimaera[iAA]: Not a problem Kev. Good to talk to you. :)


Well Planet Bob, that concludes my interview with Chimaera, Emperor of the Imperial Assault Alliance. Remember to check in next week for Oddjob's issue and his exclusive interview with his special guest. I'll be coming back with my next issue December 28th (Due to Christmas, we will be having an issue on Monday instead of Friday). In my next issue you'll see my interview with Van Hoo III, another rant from Vilien, some Old Coot observations, and a one-on-one with Van Hoo III. Until next time, stay the hell out of my yard CN! *shakes cane*

Edited by Kevanovia
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Where is my pipe and footstool and fire-stoking servants?

Nice... the WALLo'TEXT rant seems a bit out of tune or place, but I do enjoy the interview"logs," even if the party(ies) in question know the lights are on.

Also, no one escapes the public consideration's inquisition.


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hehe..bout time us old coots show these youngster how rolls...down hill preferably.

Good to see you back old buddy. (Im lyc from sparta :P )

Haha, Good to see you too Lyc :)

Nice work Kev, I enjoyed this very much. Do I have to wait so long for the next one though? Can't you just tell me what happens?

I could tell you....but then I'd have to kill you.

I enjoyed the read.

However, is this actually an Alliance Announcement?

....Yes. :D Yes it is. FAR sponsors this newsletter as does other alliances....and it is discussions about alliances....therefore it should be in the Alliance Announcement area :D

terrible, just terrible. Completely awful and without merit.

How could we live without you? :wub:

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