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FAN Announcement


mpol777
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Federation of Armed Nations

*mpol blows the dust off the podium

I haven't been up here for a while and this has caused some wild speculation amongst the mouth breathers and others in the world. A lot of jibber jabber about how FAN has been 'too quiet' or 'not involved' or even rumors about how we've joined the neutral menace. *sigh*

This can all be explained simply and I'm sure you virgins know the routine. It's like when you ask a woman out and she declines and tells you, "It's not you, it's me". Well it's like that. That isn't the truth. It really is you. The issue of FAN's communication is not within FAN. We'd actually really like to talk to more people, but we're a bit particular. In our eyes people fall into several groups.

We Don't @%ing Like You

Not everyone is as good as their mama says they are. Those of you in this group really shouldn't be alive, but you're mediocre enough that we aren't hoping you spontaneously combust. Though if you do, we will pour gasoline on you. This is not to be confused with the next group...

We @%ing Hate you

Anything I could say here to describe this group would resemble a tourettes patient on meth, so use your imagination.

Who Are You and Why Are You In My Cybernations?

We've been around a while and there are a lot of new faces. Alliances come and go and we're not wasting time with folks that don't have anything going for them besides being meat shields for someone else.

We'd Talk to You But...

A lot of big names in this group. You're on top of the world, now you have to figure out what to do with it.

We Are Talking To You Or Will Soon

Yes, folks we talk to people. We're selective and slow, but we do it and more importantly when we do it means something.

This could be the end of the announcement and I could post some gun porn, but since you drug me out and asked me to say things I'm going to say things. Be careful what you wish for.

To all of you who post your milestone announcements. There are tons of stats everywhere. If anyone cared to know what your stats are they could send a retarded, blind sloth out and he would find it. So you bought some stuff. woo hoo The fact that your membership has figured out how to collect taxes from their citizens and use that money towards improvements doesn't mean you're great. You don't get a gold start for showing up. This is one way to gauge how meaningless an alliance is. If you have to post your stats to get someone to look at them, you might as well just give it up.

And while I'm on the topic of things that make me want to punch a baby, you had elections. woo hoo Your members can fill out polls. I'm very happy for you and whoever the hell 'that person I've never heard of that won't ever do anything' that you elected. Thank you very much for letting the world know you do the same thing everyone else does. We get it. There are governments. Nobody is going to memorize every one of them. You will only be remembered if you actually do something.

Again this would normally be the end of the announcement. Talk some reality to the little guys and call it good. Nobody says those kind of things to sanctioned alliances... until now.

So, you up there. Yeah, you big !@#$%^&* with all those 100k+ NS nations. Some of you want to talk about how FAN hasn't done anything publicly in the past few months, well what have you done? If there was a Dramanations meter it would be negative. It's not everyone that's said we aren't holding our end and some of you are alright, but for those who have, don't come at us and talk !@#$ when you're two years ahead in building time and haven't done a damn thing. Most of you have been buying wonders all this time. Hell, between the last time we were public and now they added a navy. THERE"S BOATS IN MAH CYBERNATIONS! We haven't done much of anything publicly since we won VietFAN and you haven't done much of anything publicly since the Karma war. So don't lay the lack of drama on our feet because we'll kick it right back on you.

Don't even start on the whole "we've signed treaties". The MDoAP is the new NAP. Sign whatever the hell you want. Sing a million treaties and they still don't mean anything. Everything is optional and there's no commitment and the same treaty is signed with every possible ally or enemy. That's a metric $%&@ ton of bull@#&!. The biggest alliances are setting the worst example and all the wannabe whatever-the-hells are picking it up and signing useless crap they don't even fully understand. Awesome. Soon the world will be completely stagnant. Of course this is FAN's fault because "we aren't involved enough". Meh.

We do our !@#$, for our reasons, to meet our goals. We aren't here to amuse you or bring you happiness and joy. If you have higher expectations than that then you're screwed. We're doing what we do and that takes time. If we aren't saying anything publicly it's because we don't have anything to say and we don't run our traps spouting useless crap. So, back the hell off and think more about what you're doing than what we're doing.

tl;dr

This whole post talks !@#$ about your mom

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I already did, what are you gonna do bout it?

See, you arent the only bad $@! on teh bloc

He's probably the most bad-$@! on the block though. :P And FAN turning neutral? Pff! Pff I say!

I will say, mpol's brutal honesty is... refreshing. My hat's off to ya once again. o/

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I already did, what are you gonna do bout it?

See, you arent the only bad $@! on teh bloc

I see. You think because you're part of some treaty bloc I won't come kick the ever loving !@#$ out of you. Someone hand this guy a Darwin Award.

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I see. You think because you're part of some treaty bloc I won't come kick the ever loving !@#$ out of you. Someone hand this guy a Darwin Award.

Done. I've been waiting for an excuse.

* +TehChron hands King_Death a Darwin award to be given upon his return.
Edited by Chron
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