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News from across the nation regarding anything from politics

to military, and economics to disasters.

Publishing Key

Classified - An official government movement kept classified.

Public - An officially announced government movement.

Military - An armed movement inevitably made public.

Catahatan Herald - The country's biggest political newspaper.

CBC News - Catahatan Broadcasting Corporation.

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King Mercury I Coronation

The official coronation of King Freddie Mercury occurred today in Wembley, the capital of Catahata. Thunderous applause from tens of thousands of spectators arose following the crown being placed upon his head. Directly following the ceremony, the King unexpectedly went outside and addressed the large crowd that had gathered, stating; "Today my people, is the beginning of a new age. I do not wear this crown just for me, it is for you, the people of Catahata, and hence forth, me and my government shall do all in our power to improve your lives, and the legacy of this great nation. Good night, and god bless!"

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Mercury addressing the crowd

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Immigration Law Passed

Today the Catahatan Parliament and King Mercury passed a bill regarding the Catahatan Immigration Law. Key parts of the bill have been extracted and simplified as seen below:

'Any good-willed person can earn the right to live in Catahata and ultimately attain citizenship.'

'Assuming one's criminal record is clean of any serious charges, and they are in possession of all relevant paperwork to complete their emigration, it is feasible to occur under Catahatan law.'

'Few requirements exist to earn citizenship or the right to abode in Catahata, the only conditions are; The ability to speak basic English, The acquisition of a permanent job within six months of residence in Catahata, and a relatively clean criminal record with no serious additions towards it during the application process.'

Internal Affairs Minister John Lennon relayed the message to the Catahatan public and remarked, "...this is a fine day in Catahata's existence, and a noble achievement for its people and the struggle to attain true freedom on this Earth. I am proud to be amongst a nation at the pinnacle of said campaign."

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Catahatan Military Composed

The office of national statistics and Ministry of Defence led by MoD Jimi Hendrix today confirmed the newly formed Catahatan Armed Forces stand at 11,000 infantrymen and 980 armoured vehicles. Detailed statistics have been released onto the internet and published into the global factbook.

The Minister said of the results; "This is an excellent achievement for such a new nation. Eleven thousand honourable men and women selflessly volunteering to defend their nation upon the call of duty. Compared to some, this may not seem much, but experience, talent, morale, and sheer state of mind will keep our forces in tip top shape." He also touched on the establishment of training camps in his press released; "...and we are also looking into establishing more comprehensive training camps across the nation, as well as new recruitment stations to encourage further volunteers."

Legislative Proposal

Hendrix recently proposed a new bill for parliament three days ago regarding the legislation to permit children as young as twelve get involved with their national armed forces. He said of the proposal; "Many of you will see recently that across the press my latest proposal is receiving very little praise from the tabloids. I shall make it clear now that I am never one to support conscription or enrolling children into an army with obligation. My proposal is merely to involve them in a form of 'club', purely for recreational purposes but naturally yes, it is to encourage children to consider a career in the forces as they look into the future."

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Military Officer Charged With Gross Conduct

Yesterday a General of the Catahatan Military was discovered masturbating in the war room itself by his superior officer. Subsequently the Minister of Defence Jimi Hendrix has personally seen to it that he is dismissed from his duty and subject to trial for his despicable actions. General Angus has confessed his actions, never the less CCTV footage of the event and his discovery have been leaked onto the internet, clocking in over two million views over less than 12 hours.

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Military Officer Charged With Gross Conduct

Yesterday a General of the Catahatan Military was discovered masturbating in the war room itself by his superior officer. Subsequently the Minister of Defence Jimi Hendrix has personally seen to it that he is dismissed from his duty and subject to trial for his despicable actions. General Angus has confessed his actions, never the less CCTV footage of the event and his discovery have been leaked onto the internet, clocking in over two million views over less than 12 hours.

OOC: Dear God, it reminds me of when a guy started jacking off in class last year.

IC: "That's disgusting."

-HRH King James I

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Military Spending Increased

The standard 8% expenditure on the armed forces has been increased to 10%. Factory production caps are being raised and further facilities are being constructed nationwide.

In other news...

Plans are being drafted for a national railroad that links the entire nation, to replace the irregular system that currently exists today.

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Rodent Influenza pose a serious threat?

You've all heard about it discretely across the news and the tabloids for months now but scientists are really beginning to become concernedd over how it may impact Catahata itself and possibly then even the rest of Europe. This debate was sparked yesterday following a tourist travelling from Curristan with his wife was taken into hospital and into quarantine and is believed to have the virus. Inconveniently, he had been travelling across the nation for over a week now, including on the compact underground rail network of the capital. Hospitals are preparing for further outbreaks of 'rat flu'.

Military Youth Act Passes

The original proposal made by Minister of Defence Jimi Hendrix has finally passed in parliament today and with the King. The legislation is intended to allow children as young as twelve become engaged in their nation's armed forces through the form of after-school activities and out of school 'training sessions', which can give them an insight to what life in the forces is like and ultimately convince more people to volunteer for the military once they reach the appropriate age.

Hendrix said of the act; "I'd like to clarify now that this act does not mean we shall be recruiting children into our forces. The law still stands, you must be sixteen at least and out of permanent education to enlist. This act simply allows us to take on board children that are seriously considering such a career and give them an opportunity to enjoy programs such as flying with the air force, blank shooting ranges and other engaging activities children will appreciate that they were not able to participate in before."

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Diplomats Dispatched

Numerous ambassadors have been dispatched to nations with embassies of ours in which Catahata is seeking to build a relationship with. They are listed below:

Austria - George Harrison

France - Duane Allman

Lubeck - Keith Moon

Curristan - Jim Croce

PRC - Bon Scott

Edited by TheStig
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The French Ministry of Foreign Affairs has been notified of Mr Duane's impending arrival, and Noëlle Lellouche, the Secrétaire d'Etat chargé des Affaires européennes, will be meeting the Catahan envoy. An honour guard provided by the a unit of the fusiliers marins has been assembled at Paris, where they will welcome the guest into the country at the Charles de Gaulle Airport.

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Diplomats Dispatched

Numerous ambassadors have been dispatched to nations with embassies of ours in which Catahata is seeking to build a relationship with. They are listed below:

Austria - George Harrison

France - Duane Allman

Lubeck - Keith Moon

Curristan - Jim Croce

PRC - Bon Scott

"Mister Harrison will be brought to the Embassy as soon as possible after his arrival. In turn, we will send Igor Demnach as main ambassador to Catahata."

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"Mister Harrison will be brought to the Embassy as soon as possible after his arrival. In turn, we will send Igor Demnach as main ambassador to Catahata."

"Mr. Demnach has arrived and been escorted to the Austrian embassy."

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Border Fortifications Completed

Minister of Defence Jimi Hendrix has recently been overseeing a project to expand Catahata's initial barbed wire defences to a more permanent, and more effective line.

Throughout the Catahata border, particularly focusing on the north and west lines, heavy amounts of industrial barbed wire fencing have been positioned and electrified. These fortifications being the very least of the upgrades. In the most vulnerable areas, defences are as heavy as large concrete trenches with fitted machine gun turrets, with a bunker connecting the series of dugouts, including communication rooms and ammunition storage. More than 20% of the entire border now have mines secretly positioned also, however Hendrix is looking to double this figure over the next year.

The perimeter of the capital; Wembley, is also being lined with barbed wire and heavier security. When challenged by the press regarding the defences, the Minister of Defence remarked; "Better safe than sorry."

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Hedgehog Anti-Tank Defences on the Catahata-Dalmatia Border

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Millenium Tower Explosion

This is the scene outside the 'Millenium Tower' in the capital just moments ago as an unprecedented explosion occured on what is believed to be the 70th floor of the tower. It is still unknown how many injuries or even fatalities the emergency services now face but never the less, police and fire rescue teams have been dispatched into the building to search for survivors, and even the culprit responsible. The owner of the tower is business tycoon Albert Steiner where his multinational company Xenon is headquartered. Albert is still believed to be inside the building. We shall bring you more on this story as it develops.

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Millenium Tower Target of Terrorism

Yesterday the Millenium Tower in the capital was a target of terrorism. A large explosion occured on the 75th floor of the building that houses the headquarters of the multinational corporation 'Xenon', owned by entrepreneur Albert Steiner. Steiner was found six minutes following the explosion having fallen from his office on the 45th floor. It was believed however this was no accident, a man who is also believed to have been responsible for the explosion itself is said to have gone to Steiner's office just prior to the explosion, briefly fought with him (numerous bruises have been discovered following an autopsy on Steiner's body) and then pushed him out of the building. Following which, the man was arrested and the building cleared and made safe once more.

The suspect was identified as Patrick Jones, who previously worked for Albert's company following his small business being bought out by Xenon. Police suggest that the motive for his crime was the alleged exploitation he suffered at the hands of Steiner and his company. Jones took Steiner to court on this case however lost, and was believe to have been left homeless and bankrupt. He is currently being held at Hyde Lane Police Station and will face trial at some point in the coming weeks. All those injured have been safely escorted to hospital, the amount of dead has been confirmed at 164.

'Rat Flu' concerns grow

Three weeks ago Catahatan Ambassador to France Duana Allman was given full residence in our embassy on French territory, however it was only yesterday - following encounters with numerous members of the French government and public - that he was diagnosed with the Rodent Influenza virus. After a discussion with France is has been decided he shall remain within the nation under their supervision and hospitality. It is still unknown as to whether this has caused the disease to spread into any areas of the nation in question.

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Treaty of Hofburg

Catahata has potentially made its first true friend - in Austria. King Mercury and King Alexander of Austria met in Hofburg Palace to discuss a treaty and amazingly they both left the building announcing to the press a Mutual Defence Pact was agreed upon. Mercury remarked; "This is a proud day for both nations. True friends, collaborating on the basis of mutual principles to agree to something more than a piece of a paper, it is a symbolism of genuine respect. I couldn't think of any better nation to have visited, and I am very pleased with the result." King Alexander made no comment to the Herald. The full treaty and more on this story can be seen on page three.

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Cannabis Made Legal

Today the Catahatan Parliament and King Mercury passed a bill proposed by Health Minister Kurt Cobain suggesting that a drug such as cannabis is much less harmful that tobacco or even alcohol, so should be made legal.

"People can smoke and drink yet cause more harm to their bodies than this simple recreational drug. Alcohol often makes people violent, Cannabis is purely for recreational purposes. Why should it be illegal and alcohol not?" Cobain said of the enactment.

To summarise, cannabis will now be permitted to be sold publicly by licensed retailers. It will be taxed at a rate of 40% to boost government funds, all the proceeds of which will go into improving the police force, which will work harder to crack down on illegal dealing of all drugs, including Cannabis.

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Cannabis Legalised

Yesterday Health Minister Kurt Cobain made the blind and unwise decision to legalise an historically unethical recreational drug for all citizens to purchase. Cannabis can now be legally obtain from any licensed retailer providing the customer can provide proof of age and citizenship. Cobain stressed that his intentions were to merely be fair, yet remain confident that illegal dealing of the drug shall continue to be cracked down on. He commented, "...illegal dealers of this drug shall still face prosecution, as it is not my intent to lighten up on such criminals, in fact, the very opposite. My primary argument is the bias of the scenario. People can smoke and drink yet cause more harm to their bodies than this simple recreational drug." Cobain has received much criticism for the latter phrase, particularly the use of the word 'simple'.

One government scientist argued that cannabis influences people to go further and try out new drugs, worsening the situation. Never the less, the act successfully passed, with however one clever twist. The value added tax of the product shall be an record breaking 40%. It has been mentioned that perhaps the government's concerns are not how healthy the citizens are, but how healthy the economy is.

First Rodent Flu Fatality in Catahata

Today a sixty-seven year old widow from Wembley passed away in the early hours of Tuesday morning as a result of Rodent Influenza. It is yet to be known (pending an autopsy) as to whether other health complications were present and were a factor influencing her untimely death. The funeral shall be held next week. Meanwhile across the rest of the nation, it is predicted over a thousand people have now contracted the virus, and these recent events are concerning scientists that the flu bug does have the potential to evolve into a killer virus. Currently, it is classified as an epidemic.

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