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Inspection of Cascade's Military


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General George Van Eaton, age 53, arrived to the Inspection Field in a Humvee. Colonel Donald Carlson greeted him, "I'm glad you're here General, the Inspection is about to begin!", the General replied, "Oh good! I hope I wasn't too late, I got stuck behind some of those yuppie city-slickers from Seattle and the capital of the Cascadian Free State, and some other big cities, all wanna see Mt. Rainier! Idiots!", Colonel Carlson responded, "General, let's focus on the task at hand!", the General whined, "Okay! Okay! Let's get this over with!"

Several Hours Later...

"Welp, that's all of em!", the General said. "Yep, all here!", and he took a look at the clipboard with the list of all the troops in the Cascadian Military:

"125 Soldiers

Mercenary Force

2 Tahoans

3 Kansourians

1 Tuvaluan

5 Transvalers

4 Deutschlanders

3 Amon Henans

1 Dun Carrigan

1 Displaced Calvinist

20 Mercenaries in All

Local Force

65 Soldiers

CEF (Cascade Expeditionary Force)

40 Soldiers

CFSB (Cascadian Foreign Service Battalion

None (volunteer force only)

Militia Force

100 Men


Assault Rifles: M16, M4

Sub Machine Guns: MP5, MP7

General Purpose Machine Guns: M240, M60, FN MAG

Squad Automatic Weapon: M249

Grenade: M67

Grenade Launcher: M203

Pistols: M9, SIG-Sauer P220, M1911, Glock17

Sniper Rifles: M40, M82, Mk 15, M21, M39, SAM-R

Man Portable Rocket and Missile Launchers: AT4, Javelin, FIM-92 Stinger

Shotguns: M870, M1014

Mortars: M252, M120

Artillery: M101




M3 Bradely






Bell 212

UH-60 Blackhawk

Cessna 172


PT Boats (WWII Era)"

"Okay, that's pretty much it, thank you Colonel.", the General gleefully said, "Now I can take this report back to Headquarters, see you later Colonel!", Colonel Carlson replied, "See you later, too!", and thus Van Eaton got back into the Humvee and headed back to Eatonville.

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General Van Eaton arrived at the Town Hall a little while later. The Town Hall served as the Police and Fire Station, and even the Governmental Building. Van Eaton opened a door that led to the Governmental offices underneath the building. He walked down the stairs, where he passed two drunken Transvalers laughing and joking in Afrikaans, "Mercenaries.", he thought to himself. He approached a man smoking a cigarette and he asked the man, "Excuse me soldier, can you direct me where the Directer of the Military is?", the man spoke with a heavy Irish accent, "Heh, heh. Direct you to the Director, that's funny, hee hee.", the annoyed General told him, "Look, Tahoan, let's cut to the chase, where is the Director?", the Tahoan, after blowing smoke in the face of Van Eaton replied, "He's in his office.", to which the General stormed over to the Director's office.

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General Van Eaton finally arrived at the office of the Director of the Military, Daniel Simpson. After a moment of silence, he walked into Simpson's office, where he addressed him, "Mr. Director. Uh, what are you reading?", when he saw Simpson reading a piece of paper. Daniel Simpson was a 54 year old bald man who smoked cigars, and had lived in Transvaal and Deutschland for two years and as a result, he could speak in German and Afrikaans very well. He said, "Oh, just reading this offer from the Transvaler government, seems that they offered us to join Nordreich, their Alliance. Some lady named Anne... Anne...", "Annetjie van Matteus", interrupted the General, "You know I spent my youth as a mercenary in the South African and Transvaler armies.", Simpson continued, "Yes well, she's the Prime Minister, and they have a State President, some guy named Botha. Ain't it pathetic that some Governments have Prime Ministers and Presidents which is totally ridiculous, and is more nonsensical than a Government with just a President as a Head of State.", Van Eaton replied, "Yes well." Simpson continued, "Anyway, do you have the Inspection papers?", the General replied, "Yeah, I do, here!", and he handed Simpson the clipboard with the list of all the troops and equipment in the Cascadian Military, he quipped, "All 125 troops and all our vehicles and all 100 Militiamen!", Simpson responded, "150, General. We recruited 20 more men from Spanaway, and hired 5 Natalans.". The General, in a surprised state, said, "Wow, 150?? Man, our army grows ever stronger!", Simpson replied, "Yeah, well, I live for the day we get tanks, aircraft, and actual warships, and not just crummy old WWII models and makeshift civilian vehicles!". Van Eaton responded, "Yeah, well, that is a long way off! Good bye, Mr. Simpson!", Simpson said, "Good bye!", and Van Eaton walked out and shut the door.

Van Eaton walked through the underground government facilities, and stomped up the stairs that led to the way out and opened the door. He walked through the lobby where he saw Policemen and government officials and he walked out the front door and looked around. Up in the sky, he saw a Bell 212 with racks containing missiles and a machine gun. He walked over to his Humvee and got in, he told his driver Donovan, "The Director has been informed.", and with that, the Hummvee began driving down the street.

Edited by MacArthur22
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