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Federation of Armed Nations

The Federation of Armed Nations hereby declares 9/18 as a global holiday in memory of the Preacher mule that died from being very old and maybe something else. The FAN coroners are still going through the autopsy, when they can stop eating the poor fella, to determine which one of you we should blame. We are also dedicating the FAN nation of Hmanjr as a memorial nation to stand in eternity in his memory. No the mule didn't run that nation, but Hmanjr is old and stubborn so it fits.

We now all bow our heads, lest they be cut off too, for a moment of reflection.

The preacher is dead,

so I cut off his head.

He was a good mule,

though sometimes he'd drool.

He was old as hell

the day he fell

and now he's food for dogs

because I don't own hogs.

I cut him up this morn' while he laid on his side

a reminder to me as this was the day grandad died.

Everything dies

and gets covered in flies

even you and I.

It might sound grim,

but I've been drinking since 7am and don't give a $%&@ if this last line rhymes.

The severed head of the Preacher is on view in FAN open chat (not here 'cause yall are sissies) for those who wish to pay their respects.

RIP brother


In other news The Federation of Armed Nations will be protecting those lovable flufflebunnies in the New Pacific Order from the various miscreants, psychopaths and other savages... that aren't already FAN members. I'm not exactly sure what the agreement with Karma was in full. They gave me a copy, but it's hard to read out of one bloodshot eye and I quit it after the first paragraph. Either this is some token kind of protection just for !@#$% and giggles or we're going to pull the greys out and start nuking the hell out of folks. I'm sure we'll all find out eventually. I know the anticipation is enough to make your nipples hard and you will have questions about this, but save it. We have !@#$ to do.

Last and certainly least, Ejayrazz has received the That's Racist award for not coughing up the prize promised to yours truly for winning his little contest. It's been many moons and he has had ample time. I was uncertain as to his motives in withholding the goodies, but it became clear. We all know that had someone else won, hookers and blow would have fallen from the sky upon them. "Oh no" he said. One of 'those people' is not allowed. I thought Planet Bob was passed this point, but I guess not. I demand reparations! I demand my 40 acres and a mule... 'cause I need a new one. Preferably something about 14 hands and broke to ride and pack.

Enjoy yer prize. At least I delivered.


Well that about wraps it up folks. I know you were hoping for DoW. So was I, but that will come in time. Until then at least we have gun pron.



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I'm confused...

Did I read that right?

Yes. He died on the morning of the 18th. I drug him out to the south pasture, lopped off his head and opened him up for the scavengers. A few choice bits went to the dogs and into the frying pan, but he was thin when he died, so I left the rest.

Life is cheap, death is easy and the buzzards never go hungry.

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If you want confusion...... I'm lying. Think about it.

Ah, nothing like a little Liar's Paradox to get heads turning.

This announcement was entertaining, but more than a little confusing. I'm just going to cover the bases and say I'm sorry about this Preacher fellow.

o/ FAN

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