Jump to content

Republic of Free Somal Press Release


Recommended Posts


A nervous looking fellow walks up to the podium and taps the microphone prior to saying, "Hello, testing, testing, testing." Once he is certain that the microphone works he exits the stage. A moment later Major General Thomas Johns walks onto the stage and is immediately bombarded with a volley or three of questions from the waiting media hounds.

"Sir, what evidence do you have that Promised Land is behind the bio attack," screams a rather anxious looking reporter?

"Sit down gentlemen and I'll answer one question at a time," orders Major General Thomas Johns as he waits for order to restore itself. One the reporters have seated themselves he responds to the question by saying, "That's a complicated answer you are asking for. However, the short answer is we hired the intelligence services of Promised Land to train our own Internal Directorate of Intelligence. During that time those men were free to come and go as they pleased," replies the Major General.

"So what exactly ties them to the attack," asks the same reporter?

"Footage from our security cameras showing one of their agents carrying out the attack."

"How do you know he put stuff in the water that caused the attack," a tall blonde haired reporter asks?

"Well for starters the agent was nice enough to throw the container he used to transport the virus into a garbage can right next to the spot where he dumped it into the water," replies Major General Thomas Johns.

"What of the rumors that the biological weapons was intended to be beign," ask another?

"I have no doubts of the truth of that rumor. We've already confirmed as much and have informed Dragonasia several weeks ago. However, the key to the issue is agents of Promised Land carried out an attack that resulted in the deaths of 533 Somal citizens. Striking down several thousand of our citizens with a flu like virus caused the total overloading of our medical system. During this time hundreds of old men and women along with young children died due to vomiting themselves to death," the Major General states.

"So the virus was beign?"

"You've had the flu before, did it feel beign to you," replies the Major General with a question of his own? "Also be sure you are aware that the virus did not mutate. Despite claims to the contrary it worked as it was intended to do so. Our intial reports indicated it had, but as soon as we learned this wasn't the case we informed the Dragon Empire of our findings. We've been told that claims are being made that the virus had been tampered with or some other rot by rogue agents. This simply isn't true as this has all the signs of being a deliberately planned and sanctioned attack by the government of Promised Land."

"Do you believe the government of Promised Land carries full responsibility for the attack?"

"I do believe they ordered the attack, I do believe they didn't intend to kill anyone, I do believe that what they intended is of no consequence, and I do know that Somal will see justice done for the mass murder of 533 of its citizens."

"What proof do you have that government officials of Promised Land ordered the attack," requests Wolf Blatzer of DENN?

"I can't release that information at this time. However, I'd like to point out that the agents sent by Promised Land went through customs to enter Somal. Our customs checkpoints are fairly strict and it defies my belief that this attack could have been carried out by rogues given the level of support needed in smuggling in enough of the virus to have the effect that it did. Sciencetists at the University of M'Bossa have informed me that the amount of the virus needed would not be small. So you do the math on figuring out how those biological agents were smuggled into the country."

"Could they have injested them prior to entering into Somal," Wolf Blatzer asked?

"Possibly had they found away to cram something roughly the size of a bowling ball down their throats."

"What will be the future action taken by the Republic of Free Somal should Promised Land refuse to hand over the director of Promised Land's Intelligence agency?"

"I'm not sure it will be so simple as handing over the director of their intelligence agency. We have information that leads us to believe that there is a definite possibility that the attack was ordered by someone higher than that. Once we know who was behind it we'll be demanding that this person be handed over to us."

"Will these people be getting a fair trial?"

"As fair as they deserve," Major General Thomas Johns replies as he fixes the reporter who asked the question with an ugly stare.

"What about," a reporter asks as he is cut off by the Major General.

"You will direct the remainder of your questions towards the issues around the reperations of the Aether Empire POWs," orders the Major General.

"You can't tell me what to ask! I'm a free citizen offfffffffffff," shouts the reporter as he is escorted out the conference.

"Again, questions about the Aether Empire POWs only," suggests the Major General with a smirk of amusement on his face at the plight of the reporter.

"Have you returned them all home," asks Wolf Blatzer of DENN?


"Did any die during transit?"

"Thanks to the good offices of those who offered their assistance, no."

"What did the entire effort cost?"

"The figures presented to me show in the range of 200 Million Somal Dollars," he replies.

"200 Mill to fly them home?"

"Of course not, 200 million to fly them home, to provide them with the medical care we gave them, the food they ate, the clothing we gave them, and the cash gift we issued each of them prior to their departure."

"Cash gift, how much was it?"

"1000 Somal dollars and 2 suits of clothing," the Major General replies.

"That's not much," notes one of the reporters.

"That's about 1000 dollars more than most POWs get when sent back to their home countries," he replies with a snort.

"Are you going to seek compensation for the funds spent on caring for the POWs from Aether Empire's government?"

"Ummm.. no.. why the hell would I want to do that," asks the Major General? With that he ends the press conference and leaves as he returns to his office to catch up on a mountain of paperwork.

Edited by Firestorm
Link to comment
Share on other sites

"So, what do you think of Somal's latest rhetoric?"

"Same old, same old, if you ask me. They're still blaming babies and grandparents for the attack, even if they don't appear to be doing so. Perhaps they need to take a time-out themselves?"

~Excerpt from popular commentary show

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...