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Pen Island is Born


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We've got something special today, folks. Hehehe, I mean reaaaal special, like your wife's anniversary, but this ain't something you'll forget.

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We'd like to let you all know that there's a new country out there, Pen Island. And we're here for you, baby.

But what's an announcement like this without a special show of officers? A damn good one, because we aren't showing officers. We're showing off masculine men and sexy ladies, a.k.a. government.

Our first serve of the night is Stephen "Rockin' Bones" Fredericks, also known as Rhino Willie, Johnny Trumpet, The Slammer, or the Hammer of Justice, the President of our fine establishment.

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Rockin' Bones has got a reputation of getting stuff done. And if you're inefficient or just a plain obstacle, Rockin' Bones gets your crap outta his arena.

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Next, we've got a real special treat for you ladies. Guys like this are hard to come by. We're talkin' delectable. I present Alan "Bull" Marcus, V.P. of Pen Island, self-proclaimed King of the Gents, Ruler of Powergen Italia, Emperor of the Western Marshes, The Ace of Spades and The King of Hearts!

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Now if that isn't pure power, we don't know what is.

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If that doesn't turn you on, you haven't met the hot and sexy Millie McCallahan, our Secretary of the Interior. She's got the beauts to charm any run-of-the-mill amateur, and rumour has it she's hard as a ghost to catch. Nobody's yet been able to charm dear Millie, also known as the Fox of Harbour Way.

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Of course, Millie wouldn't do with just that nice facial picture. She wanted us to add a little something as well.

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Next it's on to our Secretary of Foreign Matters, Mr. Harvey T. Johnson, a.k.a. "The Dealer". Mr. Johnson has a clean record of going the straight and narrow, and he's always one for the ladies. You can always catch him with a hot brunette any time of the day.

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Don't get this sucker angry, though. Mr. Johnson likes hanging his famous portrait over his window, claiming it provides more light than the sun. You will undoubtedly agree.

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Secretary of Defense Jimmy "Ransom" Tumble is ready to rumble any time. If you ever feel the need to sucker punch Pen Island, you better look at this sucker twice.

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When he's not with his hot wife, Leona, you can see him venting his anger on the criminals and punks of Pen Island. They don't stand a chance fighting Ransom.

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For a change of scenery, this fellow can roll with the tide like nobody else. He's always slicin' and dicin', and nobody dares to get in his way if he's getting something done. Barry Marey Jerry Sarey Nerry III Jr. has got the wit and charm to keep the ladies coming.

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Here's a fine snippet of Barry during the House of Representin' sessions:

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Last but definetly not least, the know-it-all Secretary of Agriculture Gina Lemony Price is a fancy lady with no regrets. She runs her department like any beautiful woman does: with style.

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In good spirit, Gina also provided us with this pictures:

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Before an important meeting, Gina gets ready to seduce

We hope you enjoyed this run-through of Pen Island's sexy people in charge of our little adobe. We'll be seeing you soon.

Sincerely,

Stephen "Rockin' Bones" Fredericks

EDIT: Ninja edit. Picture failure. We beat the !@#$ out of the person who readied this piece of crap.

Edited by Pacifism
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"Our name suitably fits our interests. We welcome you to our capital, Powergen Italia, whenever you feel like touring our great nation."

"Wow, it just keeps coming, the capital of Penisland is Powergenitalia. The fact anyone can go to your country without exploding in shame or laughter is beyond us."

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Even though it is newly founded, PenIsland has risen to the top of the charts for places Xaristanis want to visit, with PowergenItalia being a prime destination for them.

Heh, the PenIsland government will have to explain the loss/decline of revenue created by the divertion of thousands/millions of tourists visiting Guantanamo Bay to PenIsland... :mellow:

Edited by JEDCJT
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"Wow, it just keeps coming, the capital of Penisland is Powergenitalia. The fact anyone can go to your country without exploding in shame or laughter is beyond us."

"I believe that the last person who came to our country and laughed at the name was subsequently stuffed into an extremely small sewer pipe."

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Heh, the PenIsland government will have to explain the loss/decline of revenue created by the divertion of thousands/millions of tourists visiting Guantanamo Bay to PenIsland... :mellow:

"Initial investigations by Mr. Johnson reveal that the source of the decline in revenue from tourists to Guantanamo Bay that are instead coming to Pen Island is caused by masculine men and beautiful women. We would be willing to supply your country with the men necessary to make your population mildly attractive, however, we do not wish to lose our competitive edge."

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"Initial investigations by Mr. Johnson reveal that the source of the decline in revenue from tourists to Guantanamo Bay that are instead coming to Pen Island is caused by masculine men and beautiful women. We would be willing to supply your country with the men necessary to make your population mildly attractive, however, we do not wish to lose our competitive edge."

Hm, that would be nice. We look forward to some competitiveness from you. :P

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The Nation of Selenarctos does likewise.

"Pen Island looks forward to entreating its most honoured neighbors, the Yawooians and the Selenarctons, to a few days of leisure and pleasure to commence talks regarding the future of our relations, if you would grace us with your presence."

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The Sultan gets on the phone to Penisland.

"We whole-heartedly welcome this new nation to the world. I would like to have a private meeting with the Secretary of Agriculture. I have a few questions about sowing some oats in fertile soil."

Mikhail was immediately smacked upside the head by his wife who was listening in.

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The Sultan gets on the phone to Penisland.

"We whole-heartedly welcome this new nation to the world. I would like to have a private meeting with the Secretary of Agriculture. I have a few questions about sowing some oats in fertile soil."

Mikhail was immediately smacked upside the head by his wife who was listening in.

Alan smiled to himself as he reflected on precisely how sexy Pen Island's women really were.

"Honourable Sultan, Gina would love to speak to you concerning the growth of oats in extremely fertile soil."

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From the desk of Dudz Douglass

Foreign Minister of The Glorious Republic of New Andromeda

Woah man, PenIsland is like totally awesome. You know what would be even awesomer, if you started the Pen15 club in your nation. The lulz would be epic.

May the force be with you my main man,

Dudz Douglass

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"Pen Island looks forward to entreating its most honoured neighbors, the Yawooians and the Selenarctons, to a few days of leisure and pleasure to commence talks regarding the future of our relations, if you would grace us with your presence."

The Republic of Yawoo would be most honored, the Chancellor himself will attend, whenever it is convenient.

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