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An Evil Immortal Turtle Treaty

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An Evil Immortal Turtle Treaty

Article 1 - prologue

It is a time of civil war, and renegade paragraphs floating through space.

There's cool space battles, and the bad guy is the good guy's dad, but you don't find that out 'til the next episode.

And the hot chick is really the sister of the good guy, but they don't know it, and they kiss. Which is kind of messed up. I mean, what if they had done it instead of just kissed?

Angelina Jolie kissed her brother once. Yeah, she did. You know it, I know it, and her dad knows it. That's why they hardly ever talk anymore. You can run away to Africa, but you can't run away from the truth.

Oh, by the way, here's a tip for you: when this is over, go out and rent the movie "Gia." She's way naked in it and makes out with another chick and everything. It's awesome. I stumbled across it late night on HBO after I had just got back from hockey, and I almost fainted, But I digest...

Princess Leia was coming back from buying space groceries when this happened...

Article 2 - Non aggression

camera zooms down onto a passing space ship

Evil Bad dood 1: quickly! this way

Evil Bad dood 2: Yes sir!

Princess Debater: Arrr2Bee2, i need you to take this message and seek out Obi-wan kimortal, tell him that we need to ensure safe passage to one each others planets.

R2B2: beep-be-ba beep! boop.

C3darunz: of course princess we will do our best!. oh dear me, there isn't nearly enough time to find him!

Evil Bad dood 1: Ah ha! I've found you your little tramp!

Princess Debater: Find Obi-wan kimortal, tell him "You're my only hope!"

fast forward button is pressed, new people on a crappy looking planet are running around, some guy ion a hood comes and waves his hand they are talking... talking... flying... -CRAP! too far

Article 3 - Mutual defense (non-chaining)

Obi-wan kimortal: close your eyes, trust in the force to guide you

Luke Facepalmer: ow! i can't do it Steve!

Obi-wan kimortal: try again, this time concentrate

Luke Facepalmer: ok...

electric noise is heard as it deflects a laser projectile

Hanz: hey! he's getting better

Blewie Turtle: Gurrrrrrrrraaaaahh! (actually emits a high-pitched noise that sounds nothing like the inscribet text)

Hanz: What's that Blewie? Oh geex, we got visitors, hold on tight!

Luke Facepalmer: Who is atacking us

Hanz: Doesn't matter right now, fact is they want one us dead and so we're in it together!

disk menu >> select chapter >> chapter 26

Article 4- Encouraged aid

Hanz: Well, excuse me princess!

Princess Debater glares

Luke Facepalmer stares out with a vacant expression

Princess Debater: Fine, forget i ever asked.

Hanz: I do things my way

Princess Debater: well at least take us to the rebel capital

Luke Facepalmer: the capital? wow...

Hanz and Princess Debater:...idiot

Princess Debater: when we get there I'm sure you can have some aid

Hanz: fine, lets just go.

Article 5 - End of movie

Blewie: Gurrrruah!

rough translation: If either alliance wishes to cancel this treaty they must inform the other. From that point on this treaty will remain active for 72 hours.

Article 6 - Credits

The Immortals:

Sarmatian Empire, Emperor

Wappas, Chief Officer

Blue Turtle Alliance:





Lord Golgothor


Pete Windsor March McCavoy IV of The Great Province of Ohio Approves of this message

As per Immortal tradition...I give you cake!


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