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Tabloid Tribune #147 | NPO Annoucement


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The Tabloid Tribune

One Step Ahead of the Truth

Since September 2003

Issue #147 - World Edition | Pacifican Edition

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Tabloid Tribune Now Accepting Sponsorships

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How else am I going to fund this damn war?

Baldwin Park, California - With over one-third of the alliance below 100 infrastructure and the Order losing more national strength than any other alliance in the history of planet Bob, the funding needs of the Pacifican war machine are starting to outstrip available supplies. As such, the Tabloid Tribune is taking an unprecedented step and is now accepting sponsorships. Our first sponsors, In-N-Out, approached the New Pacific Order because of our similarities: We're both California based, we both believe in fresh beef, we both started a unique business model and are well-known pillars of the Community.

According to Doug Wilson, "In-N-Out is independently owned by religious nuts that put biblical citations on the bottom of the cups. They don't franchise and they use fresh ingredients. They cook with Jesus." If you're in the Tri-state area (California, Nevada or Arizona) you can be blessed by a double-double animal-style or enjoy a milk-shake that's not extruded sweetened wonder bread dough.

If your alliance is interested in advertising with the Tabloid Tribune, please send a private message to Sir Paul and be willing to give buckets of money when the Order needs it most. I'm looking at you Frostbite.

Best Wishes and in before Five Guys is Better,

Sir Paul, Imperial Officer

The Tabloid Tribune - One Step Ahead of the Truth

Proudly Part of PNN

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Red Team Rocked With Instability

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Students protest the illegal coup of Fire Lord Carter.

DotaLeague, New Pacific Order Trading Sphere - One of the Promises of the New Pacific Order is to bring political stability to the Red Trading Sphere. However, the Emperor undermined that stability by reversing the longest standing doctrine on planet Bob. This unmitigated disaster had the result creating suffering across the sphere. Anti-Pacifican pundits have rightly blamed Emperor Revenge for reversing the Moldavi Doctrine which allowed these alliances to form, flounder, and fail.

The first alliance to have major problems is Red Cross, which was formed to take down the Francograd wall. This confused a heck of a lot of people since it was declared a historic landmark by the Congress of World Preservation, but something there is that does not love a wall. Also, something there is that does not love the Red Cross, as the fledgling alliance has collapsed. The remaining citizens are now existing in a land without government and with Pacificans now following a policy of non-intervention, the humanitarian crisis in Red Cross has reached staggering proportions. We remind ModusOperandi that as Jesus gives In-N-Out the power of freshness, he can give your people the power to survive the turmoil.

The second alliance to have a crisis is FIRE. One of the leading men and founders of FIRE, Carter, has been illegally removed from office. During the night, military strong men arrested Carter, drugged him, and awoke six hours later in the Mostly Harmless Alliance. Alliances from NPO to GGA condemned the illegal coup as an unfortunate throwback to the 2007s, when the last attempted coup on the Red Team occurred. In a statement, Almighty Grub expressed "deep concern for ignoring the rule of law and would be pulling all aid and ambassadors from FIRE until the constitution and Fire Lord Carter are unconditionally restored." Fire Lord TimLee remained defiant and stated that Carter "has been expelled from FIRE and will never be allowed to return." Whether this is an Eternal Banishment or simply a Permanent Banishment is yet to be seen. Regardless, it still sets a dangerous precedent in governance. To help the people of FIRE, In-N-Out will be dropping burgers and bibles over major population centers rocked with chaos. With so much turmoil on the Red Team, Ivan Moldavi must be spinning in his grave.

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Written by Sir Paul

The Tabloid Tribune - One Step Ahead of the Truth

Proudly Part of PNN

Relevent Thread

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Neutrals threaten to send strongly worded letter to NSO over recruitment

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TDO has moved to its highest state of preparedness

New Aligned States, The Democratic Order: John Warbuck is not a man to be trifled with. Standing inside the Hall of Nonbinding Resolutions, where TDO suggestions are passed, he made an impassioned speech on behalf of his Order as well as The Green Protection Agency, the Green Old Party and Grey Council. He accused the New Sith Order, member of Frostbite, of sending recruitment messages to nations belonging to neutral alliances. John stated that the neutrals are sovereign and that by sending private messages the NSO had "interfered with that Sovereignty" which he further characterized as "an act of war". On behalf of TDO, John demanded an apology from "Ivan Moldavi, Doppleganger, and Viktor" although it was unclear if he wanted the physical nation of Doppleganger to give an apology as well as its ruler Viktor.

Heggo of the New Sith Order replied that "The only people we'd be able to get would be non neutrals who don't belong in your alliance anyway." He continued stating that TDO can be neutral regardless of their size, while the Sith could use those nations to project power and that the situation is clearly a win-win for all people involved.

In the post-hegemony era, it appears that while spying is NOT an act of war, sending private messages regarding alliance affiliation IS an act of war, and the much promised reign of free-speech has come to a sad end. MHA Triumvir Crushtania stated "Alliance member poaching is merely that; an act of aggression that should be put down and condemned." Sir Donald R Deamon, Chief Recruiter of the New Pacific Order has stated that the Order agrees with the Triumvir that this action is an infringement of sovereignty and will now be forwarding all of the messages that Pacifican Nations have received about their alliance affiliation to MDP partner Mostly Harmless Alliance. The Order looks forward to having the MHA help crush the several alliances who are violating the sovereignty of the New Pacific Order.

If Ivan, Viktor and the physical nation of Doppleganger do not issue apologies for their actions, the Democratic Alliance is expected to send an even more strongly worded letter. However, an In-N-Out spokesperson who does business in the TDO stated that the Sith should be careful, because "they're not neutral, they're independent."

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Written by Sir Paul

The Tabloid Tribune - One step ahead of the truth

Proudly Part of PNN

Relevant Thread

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Sir Paul's Sing-Along War Report #4

*CENSORED*

The above image is CENSORED because it is rated A for Awesome

Francograd, New Pacific Order - The Imperial Clerk has released his latest sing-along war report, which can be found

. All sing-along war reports are available in this thread.

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Written by Sir Paul

The Tabloid Tribune - One Step Ahead of the Truth

Proudly Part of PNN

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The first alliance to have major problems is Red Cross, which was formed to take down the Francograd wall. This confused a heck of a lot of people since it was declared a historic landmark by the Congress of World Preservation, but something there is that does not love a wall. Also, something there is that does not love the Red Cross, as the fledgling alliance has collapsed. The remaining citizens are now existing in a land without government and with Pacificans now following a policy of non-intervention, the humanitarian crisis in Red Cross has reached staggering proportions. We remind ModusOperandi that as Jesus gives In-N-Out the power of freshness, he can give your people the power to survive the turmoil.

The second alliance to have a crisis is FIRE. One of the leading men and founders of FIRE, Carter, has been illegally removed from office. During the night, military strong men arrested Carter, drugged him, and awoke six hours later in the Mostly Harmless Alliance. Alliances from NPO to GGA condemned the illegal coup as an unfortunate throwback to the 2007s, when the last attempted coup on the Red Team occurred. In a statement, Almighty Grub expressed "deep concern for ignoring the rule of law and would be pulling all aid and ambassadors from FIRE until the constitution and Fire Lord Carter are unconditionally restored." Fire Lord TimLee remained defiant and stated that Carter "has been expelled from FIRE and will never be allowed to return." Whether this is an Eternal Banishment or simply a Permanent Banishment is yet to be seen. Regardless, it still sets a dangerous precedent in governance. To help the people of FIRE, In-N-Out will be dropping burgers and bibles over major population centers rocked with chaos. With so much turmoil on the Red Team, Ivan Moldavi must be spinning in his grave.

Damnit Paul, give me credit where credit is due. For one, FIRE had troubles first, not The Red Cross. Secondly, those military men happened to be koopa troopers, who I called out myself. They were able to effectively take out Carter, and hose down the protests after all. Of course, doing all this made them hungry, and your burgers are much appreciated.

In other words, needs moar Nintenderek.

Edited by Nintenderek
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I have to say that this is a talented man. That sing along is actually still ringing in my ears. Although I'd have to say that In-and-out is not as tasty as Green Burrito ... Just sayin'.

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Sir Donald R Deamon, Chief Recruiter of the New Pacific Order has stated that the Order agrees with the Triumvir that this action is an infringement of sovereignty and will now be forwarding all of the messages that Pacifican Nations have received about their alliance affiliation to MDP partner Mostly Harmless Alliance. The Order looks forward to having the MHA help crush the several alliances who are violating the sovereignty of the New Pacific Order.

Very interesting point although I dont see it going anywhere.

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