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Ragashingo
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I re-rolled my nation the other day (and probably will again soon) but must have gotten distracted because I didn't actually set my AA like I had intended. The next morning I woke up to the sound of about 20 recruitment messages. Thats cool. I don't frown on anyone from trying to recruit, but a lot of you alliances do it fairly badly. If you'll bear with me for a bit I'd like to share my thoughts on the various recruitment messages I got.

First the bad:

Guru Order

My name is Smokey78. In real life I'm a 30yr old business owner.

I know you are getting a lot of spam and that can be a problem but please take a minute to read this message

Money is the lifeblood of this great game and nobody offers new players more ways to earn $millions$ than The GURU Order!

We offer security, so your Nation is not constantly attacked and stripped of it's riches, and tutorials on all aspects of the game

However the main thing is to have fun and take part in a friendly and interesting community, which is what we are creating

How to join?

Go to your:

EDIT MY NATION

ALLIANCE AFFILIATON

SPECIFY OTHER

Type Guru Order

Change color to Aqua and flag to Micronesia

Add to your national bio

http://www.megaclans.com

Go to that site

Register using your nation name

Go to http://www.megaclans.com/reception-f1/appl...on-form-t51.htm

Start a new topic and fill in the details

Smokey78 recruited you

Thank you for your time

This one starts off fairly well. It keeps things general while promising things a new player will understand like money, protection and community. Unfortunately it goes down hill when it tries to tell people how to join the alliance. The message is asking the player to do quite a bit for a first impression message and it's not being very clear on how to do all those steps. The section in caps for instance references a link but doesn't say where it is, a pulldown menu, and a text box that doesn't exist until you select the previous option in the pull down menu.

With a limited character limit I think it would be best to spend as much time in explaining why your alliance is unique, and why joining it would be a good thing for the new player to do. You're going to have them sign up on your forum anyway so why not save space for the important stuff and just tell them where to go to start the signup process? At your forum you'd then have a thread complete with detailed instructions and pictures showing the new player how to set up their nation and how to join the alliance.

(By the way is everybody in the Guru Order a 30ish year old business person? I got a second message from another Guru recruiter and was amused :P)

The German Empire

Hello, I'm President Chris Imperial Chancellor of The German Empire (TGE) and I would like to offer you to join us. At TGE,

we are based on Imperial Germany (1871–1918), but are not limited to this either. We accept

all members of all kinds and from many themes (I myself British themed).

In TGE, we can offer you many things. First is money to get your nation off the ground.

$3,000,000 or more for graduation specifically. Second, money cannot be spent wisely without knowledge.

We also offer education. Third, there is the chance to take part in government, or non

government jobs. You can lead, debate ideas, make new ideas and help others. We have an active

member base and there is much you can discuss on the forums or IRC with other members. We have

a welcoming group of people and hope you join!

If you wish to join, please register at http://thegermanempire.net/forums/ and post your

application in the "immigration office". There will be a thread explaining how.

My main problem with this one is that opening part of the message seems a bit weak compared to what it could be. I like that you are telling me that you are based on a theme, but I don't like how you spent more time telling me that you aren't limited to that theme than you did about the theme itself. If being based on Imperial Germany was important enough to be the leading point in your message then you should run with it more and tell me why thats important to your alliance and how it sets you apart.

IRON

Hey there! In 30 seconds you are going to find out some Interesting Facts about the Fortress of Cyber

Nations..THE IRON Alliance!

* #3 Alliance on the Orange Team. (Strongest Military Sphere)

* #9 Overall Alliance in All of Cyber Nations.

* Arguably the Best Nation Growth Programs for New Nations.

* Outstanding Military Protection for your Nation.

* A Mentor to help you with your Nation if wanted.

* An Outstanding Active Member Community on our Forums. We have a very open and Relaxed Culture and having

Fun is the key and at the same time we make sure All Nations in IRON are Supported Economically and Militarily.

If interested please respond to

this message.

Thank You,

Theophilos Antigonos

IRON Recruiter

Just one quick point here. You just told me that you are the 3rd ranked alliance on orange and the 9th in the game. Shouldn't I want to join the most powerful on orange, or the highest ranked alliance in the game? Other than that I think this one hits the key issues. Nation growth, military protection, and fun.

Sparta

On Sparta's behalf, Welcome to Cybernations!

I see you just made a new nation, and you’re probably wondering where to turn. We offer an Academy program for new players, in it you'll find the Spartan guides written by some of the most experienced and successful players of this game! You need to take a quiz to be accepted in Sparta.

If you choose to join our alliance you MUST register under your RULER name.

But I believe it’s our members that set us apart. We have a great group of active members, and senior officials willing to take the time to listen to anyone. It’d be awesome if you were a Spartan too. So check us out at

http://www.cnsparta.com

This one can't decide if it wants to be a welcome message or an instruction guide for joining the alliance. It starts out great with the welcome and the part about where to turn. But then it starts talking about quizzes and how I "MUST" do something. And then it has a disjointed cut back to being a friendly message about why Sparta is a good alliance to join. This would be a much better message if you cut out that middle section and leave it for the "How to join Sparta" area on your boards.

The Good:

Here's a couple of messages I did like. Neither is perfect. They could both stand to tell me more about what sets their alliance apart. But both of these messages are good starts that could easily be expanded upon.

Angelite

Are you sick of annoying messages for you to join an alliance? Would you like them to stop?!

Then join Angelite! By joining Angelite you will receive:

- Protection from Tech Raiders and wars

- Protection from Annoying Recruitment PM's

- Aid and help starting your nations with wonderful guides

- Friendship. We're good, friendly people at Angelite who mainly spend our time chilling and having fun on our forums and IRC.

- Unlike other alliances, we won't punish you for speaking up, and we don't kick people out for failing to toe the party line.

So stop those annoying Recruitment Messages by signing up to the Angelite alliance!

this is our forum: www.cnangelite.com

As an Offer, you will receive $3 Million Dollars in Starting Aid.

How Awesome is that?!

So join Angelite Today!

If you have any questions feel free to ask.

~ Requia, Capo of Angelite, Breaker of Legs, Knight of The Realm, Not a Reroll.

Nice, to the point, readable (not a wall of text), offers the main advantages of an alliance (nation growth, protection, community). My only problem with this one is the 't' in "this is our forum" isn't capitalized.

Ragnarok

Greetings from Ragnarok!

I would like you to consider joining Ragnarok, one of the most active and energetic alliances in Cybernations.

We have a dedicated area for small nations that teaches the basic tips and tricks of the game.

Don't be concerned about being lost in the numbers, every nation has equal chance to excel.

Ragnarok is a safe place for nations to grow large and powerful. It is one of the larger alliances in Cybernations and every nation within is ready to help you in times of danger.

We also has a great Tech Center (explained on forums) for small nations.

This gives a new nation accelerated growth potential. I purchased my first wonder at 100 days old.

We at Ragnarok are very friendly and informed and we help to make an essentially slow game, fun to play.

Check out our famous Spam section.

"Register" at www.ragnarok-alliance.com

Check us out @ frozen.coldfront.net #RoK

If you're interested, let me know.

Famzy

Ragnarok Deputy of Recruitment

Very good. Might want to mention that frozen.coldfront.net is IRC though. Not everyone knows about IRC after all. (Also, and this is just me being REALLY technical, wouldn't it be best to list it as irc.coldfront.net and let the coldfront severs determine which server they actually connect to?)

Edited by Ragashingo
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they're just mass messages you know and that is how most alliances do and it's not like they know you're a re-roll, they don't know you expect a higher level of recruitment.

If your alliance can express how they are better than (or different from... as players have different tastes) the other alliance that all send out a message then you should get more than your share of new players. Also I'd think a better written message would get you better players. In the long run having smarter players will lead you to victory.

Also I didn't include the messages that were hard to read walls of text, or had horrible grammar or formatting or whatever. Surely those kinds of messages turn people away from your alliance in direct opposition to the goal of the message.

Basically why aim for mediocrity when you could aim higher?

Edited by Ragashingo
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If your alliance can express how they are better than (or different from... as players have different tastes) the other alliance that all send out a message then you should get more than your share of new players. Also I'd think a better written message would get you better players. In the long run having smarter players will lead you to victory.

Also I didn't include the messages that were hard to read walls of text, or had horrible grammar or formatting or whatever. Surely those kinds of messages turn people away from your alliance in direct opposition to the goal of the message.

Basically why aim for mediocrity when you could aim higher?

People are lazy and don't care to correct their mistakes, what else is new? Why aim for good, when good enough is working?

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Nope. I did get a message from the STA telling me that they were too lazy to send me a message however. :P

Would you like to rate one? I can send you the message I think is best.

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Now that you've set your Alliance Affiliation, expect to be getting some from the NSO soon. :P

Jokes aside, you made a good point. I haven't looked at any of the messages we're sending out as I stick to the FA side of things, but the bit in the middle does seem a bit off in an initial message like that one. :\ Thanks for the review, though. :v:

Edit: Forgot to say thanks. >_<

Edited by George the Great
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Would you like to rate one? I can send you the message I think is best.

Sure. :)

theArrowheadian

People are lazy and don't care to correct their mistakes, what else is new? Why aim for good, when good enough is working?

And if people get a bit less lazy because of this topic and your alliance's recruitment stats drop, what then?

George the Great

Now that you've set your Alliance Affiliation, expect to be getting some from the NSO soon. :P

Jokes aside, you made a good point. I haven't looked at any of the messages we're sending out as I stick to the FA side of things, but the bit in the middle does seem a bit off in an initial message like that one. :\

If the NSO tried to recruit me I'd Strike Back with some clever messages of my own. :)

Also oddly enough I wrote the whole OP before coming onto the boards today. I had no clue that everyone was squabbling about recruitment policies. Made me change my topic title.

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Very good. Might want to mention that frozen.coldfront.net is IRC though. Not everyone knows about IRC after all. (Also, and this is just me being REALLY technical, wouldn't it be best to list it as irc.coldfront.net and let the coldfront severs determine which server they actually connect to?)

I'm glad Ragnarok was :awesome:

People that know IRC would understand what I meant. If not, then they're given instructions when they join.

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I love this gem from IRON

* Arguably the Best Nation Growth Programs for New Nations.

Good to see some modesty, wouldn't want to make an unwarranted claim to be the best. They also Enjoy random and Unusual capitalization.

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A late entry from the New Polar Order

On CN, your nation is your own, and no one should take that away from you. Unfortunately, many other nations will try. The New Polar Order doesn't want to see that happen.

In the NpO, we offer you power:

power to grow your nation's economy into a first-rate money-maker;

power to build your military into a fearsome well-oiled fighting machine;

power to make your nation the best it can be;

power to make you the most knowledgeable player YOU can be.

We offer aid to build your nation, defense to protect yourself from prying enemies, knowledge to educate you in the nuances of the game, and a community full of experienced players eager to see your nation become the best.

Your nation is your own. In the NpO, our mission is to enable you to get the most out of what you rightly have. Through aid, defense, knowledge, and experience, we can give you that power.

Come join us!

Visit www.polarorder.net today!

Regards,

Marty McFly

I like it. It's strong and forceful but readable and understandable even to a brand new player. There's no talk of tech raids or trade circles which a new player wouldn't know about. Also you used semicolons! I don't trust myself to use semicolons correctly. :P

I do think you are missing a very big thing however, and it's not in the message itself. When I go to www.polarorder.net I see nothing about joining the alliance at all! Sure there is a good section at the top of the NpO forum but you don't even see a link to the forum until you register on the site. Having a good message is a wonderful start, but you need to make sure that the new player's next step is more clearly defined. Keep the message like it is and improve the site is my suggestion.

And that goes for everybody as well. If your recruitment message is brilliant but the player can't figure out how to actually join your alliance then you've still lost that member to another alliance.

Edited by Ragashingo
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And that goes for everybody as well. If your recruitment message is brilliant but the player can't figure out how to actually join your alliance then you've still lost that member to another alliance.

Or maybe even not ever joining alliance ever, to lose interest after the first try.

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Interesting read... it has been well over a year since I received a recruitment message, but I remember the vast majority of them reading as if they should have been written in crayon.

Hopefully alliances will make use of some of the suggestions you've provided.

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Now that you've set your Alliance Affiliation, expect to be getting some from the NSO soon. :P

Lulz! :ehm:

That's the problem with recruitment. I think it annoys new players more than it helps them. There needs to be an actual in-game function that a player will find quickly which points him towards a list of alliances perhaps with what they have to offer. It would probably help new player retention. Get on that admin. :popcorn:

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Lulz! :ehm:

That's the problem with recruitment. I think it annoys new players more than it helps them. There needs to be an actual in-game function that a player will find quickly which points him towards a list of alliances perhaps with what they have to offer. It would probably help new player retention. Get on that admin. :popcorn:

If anything, that would confuse them even more. There's 3,783,001 alliance out there!

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