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To Hold Back the River Acheron


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"If you wish to be reunited with your friend, I invite you to return there. With any luck it will be far more pleasant than the last time. The guards will be expecting you."

With that, the phone clicked off. Gaunter was being extremely cryptic, considering he had no reason to be so.

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With the line going dead from the other end, there wasn't much point in him holding on to the phone here. Slowly, he closed it and handed it back to its owner, a thoughtful look replacing his previous expression.

"Thank you. I needed to hear that," he said to Williams. "Now, was there anything else you wanted to talk about while you were here?" he offered a smile. "You did say you came to check on the Lady's well-being..."

Silently, Anthony hoped that was all the man had wanted, but the smile remained in place, as he was genuinely happy to see him. Conflicting emotions were a pain, sometimes.

OOC: The reunion between my two characters will have to be in a different thread, Sil. This thread was for another purpose. ^_^

Edited by Subtleknifewielder
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Sarah looked up as Anthony closed the phone, she gave him a worried look and gently laid her hand on his shoulder. It he wanted to talk about anything, he would know right then that she was more than willing to listen to anything he had to say to her, as his face showed signs of depression and loneliness.

"Well there is no rush gentlemen, just good friends having breakfast together. If you both would be up to it, I would be more than happy to take both of you out to the town. Brisbane is recovering as we speak and as bad as it sounds, the lines are short for the theaters and music halls. But I'm just as content sitting on the veranda. Its up to all of you." She smiled taking her tea in her hand again and sighed looking out at the sun above the trees.

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Anthony sighed, considering her offer as he absently covered the hand on his shoulder with his own, withdrawing only when Sarah withdrew hers. He had been busy for almost non-stop the last few months. Even if he had gotten physical rest, he was still mentally weary of what he'd been doing. Perhaps the proposed expedition into the city would serve as a nice distraction. But he wasn't the only one there, and he silently kept his gaze on Williams, waiting for the man's reply.

Edited by Subtleknifewielder
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"I'm in no rush, and it has been a long time since I have had a life outside of politics. It makes no difference to me." He had, however, noticed something between Harlem and Sarah, so, after a short pause, he continued. "However, if I am intruding on something, I can come back another time."

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Anthony shook his head. "We all here know that if you engage in that kind of life with no breaks, you'll slowly go insane. We can't let you go back home without experiencing something that doesn't have to do with politics." He glanced at Sarah with a smile. "Can we?"

He knew that Williams was by far not the only one who could use the distraction. Both he and Sarah could use something to take their minds off the events of the last few weeks.

OOC: Feel free to choose what they do, Sarah.

Edited by Subtleknifewielder
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"Well of course. I don't see why it would be a problem. If you would both excuse me for a moment, I can't go galivanting around the in my nightgown." She excused herself from the veranda and ran up starts to get changed into clothes more suited to city travel. Throwing on an sun-dress and putting her hair in a ponytail, Sarah met Harlem and Williams in the entrance hall and guided them out to the town car outside. She did want to drive, but considering that it was still early and that both Harlem and Williams seemed emotional at the moment, there was no need to put them off due to her driving.

Brisbane was vibrant, but not the same way it had been. It was a feeling of renewal to the city, a feeling of hope for the future. A Hanseatic feeling to be sure. They had dealt with problems in the past, they had dealt with suffering, and now it was the time for a renewed promise. Pax Hanseatica went along with that, but it was more than titles and promises. It was the fact that Hanseatic citizens still had smiles on their faces and laughter could be heard coming from cafes, parks, and salons along the various avenues.

The day went by quickly. The three attended shows in the theaters and drank cups of coffee and tea in the cafes. It had always been Sarah's policy to go out towards her people and that they would be able to talk to her at any place and at any time. It was no different here as citizens in droves greeted the leaders, wished them well, and brought up a few questions on fiscal responsibility and the future. By the end of the day, Sarah brought Anthony and Joshua up to the bench, where really Anthony and Sarah had first met after the founding of the Second Republic. A small girl's grave was beside the bench, a reminder of the past attack against the Hansa and after saying a quick prayer Sarah turned back to her friends. "I hope you both enjoyed yourself today, I figured this is the best I could really do."

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Watching her, out among her people like that, few would see the burden she carried for each and every one of them. Not to say that it was an act--from what he could see, she genuinely enjoyed being out among her people. It undoubtedly reminded her (and him, if he was honest with himself) that though humanity had a darkness in it, there was also a light in each of them. That rare was the individual that possessed no hope. And the Hanseatics were open about the hope.

That spirit, that vitality had seen them though no less than three different attacks that might have broken the spirit of a lesser people, and Sarah seemed at times the personification of that hope.

But that was beginning to wax too philosophical for Anthony, at least for the time being. He shook off the musing thoughts and threw his whole heart into simply enjoying himself for the day. That was what they were out here for, after all.

He especially enjoyed the theaters--from comedy to tragedy, from laughter and tears, he could lose himself in the lives of the characters, sympathize with their problems and feel happy when they overcame those problems.

He was almost sad to see the day end.

When she brought them back to the bench, the one where they had sat down and had their first conversation as friends, rather than politicians or diplomats, he simply closed his eyes for a moment and immersed himself in the memories of that day. It had even been close to the same time of day, if he recalled correctly.

Before then, he'd been almost a hollow shell of a man. The losses he had suffered had nearly driven him to suicide, until his friends back home had practically shoved him out the door to begin meeting other people. He was glad they had.

He opened his eyes again, to see Sarah in front of a small grave. Undoubtedly a child's grave, though from where he was standing he couldn't see for sure. He himself might have offered a prayer for the soul of the child, if he had thought there was any God out there that would listen to him.

When she turned around and spoke, he nodded, a smile showing on his face once more. "Yes. I truly enjoyed myself. Thank you."

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Sarah turned to them and smiled. "If it means anything, this city is not broken and I hope it will never be. We have a long way to go from this point. I do. My people do. Everyone does, but I think that this will be the last great attack against the Hansa and I will not let this happen again." Turning away from Anthony, she sighed. "That is why I told you that I need to be stronger, so that I can prevent this from ever happening again. But I know that with friends such as you guys, I know that we'll make it through this. No matter how hard."

"You know, its strange. I forget what it was to be like in Helsinki and in Europe in general. Brisbane, Australia, is my homeland now. I don't think I could ever leave now, no matter what happens. I would defend this city until I die and I have people like you two to thank." She gasped lightly and hugged Joshua and Anthony tightly. "I guess it is true that people come together during the worst of times."

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He almost added that if it were in his power, he would not let anything like the previous attacks on the Commonwealth happen again, but she already knew that. Why would he need to express what she already knew? Besides, he would rather not interrupt her. She needed to say what was on her mind, and so he remained silent.

But the hug took him by surprise, and it was a moment before he reached an arm around her to return the embrace. "Trying times always seem to bring out certain traits in people. Some people display their darker sides more openly, while others indeed band together to fight the darkness. You are indeed fortunate that the latter is the case with the vast majority of your people. We are fortunate to find the same in each other."

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**Later that night**

Solidor Manor was quiet, the moonbeams shining through the tall windows came from a clear Australian night sky, whist outside came the soft sounds of crickets chirping below and the ribbit of the frog chorus in the manor's garden below. But inside the great windowpane on the top floor of the manor, things were not or did not seem as peaceful as the grounds outside. Sarah's bedroom was dark, except for a small rose light coming from beneath the vanity. In her bed she tossed and turned, slowly, but as the night went on the twists became stronger and more violent.

"No...please...not again...no please don't go...please..." She murmured underneath the blankets, her hair wiping from side to side. Her moans and murmurs getting louder and louder. "No...dad...no...don't go...you can't leave me here...please come back come back!" Then pulling the blankets off of her body and up to her head, the violent images in Sarah's dream came full circle. "NO MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE! PLEASE! NOT AGAIN! I DON'T WANT TO DIE AGAIN!"

She sat up from the bed and held her heart. It had been Helsinki again, the explosion all over again and the sights of so many dead, so many injured, so many mutated from their beautiful faces. There they were, human abominations and she had caused them all. Sweat dripped from her hair down onto her back. Her legs glistened with fear of her dreams as she crawled out from the covers and over to open a window. The cool night air, calmed her down for a moment, but it was barely enough. Sleep was the furthest thing from her mind right now, she didn't want to have to see the faces again.

Walking back over to her nightstand, Sarah grabbed a hairband and tied her hair back into a ponytail as she walked out into the hallway. She needed air, but a lot of air, she needed to be outside. She headed out down the hallways, but as she walked and passed the guest wing, where Anthony was sleeping, she could hear the same sounds that gave into her nightmares coming from his room. She knocked on the door, hearing no answer, slowly turned the handle and peered into the room.

"Anthony are you all right?" She saw him in the bed, sweating much like she was. "Anthony?..." And laid her hand on his shoulder.

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The happy feeling he'd held onto when they'd arrived back at the manor began fading the moment his head hit the pillow. He was entering the one place he could never be sure of escaping his past--the realm of dreams...

"Please, please, don't hurt my children!" Roselyn cried. She couldn't yet know that one of their children was already dead.

Anthony could only stare on from across the room, helpless, as a man he'd once trusted held a gun to the head of his remaining son. The boy's wide eyes were a clear indication of his fear, and he had a right to be scared. The wild-eyed man holding him was beyond reasoning. The crazed look showed no signs of being affected by Roselyn's plea for her child, at least not in the manner she would have hoped.

Instead, he was actually startled by her outburst, and for a moment, all the occupants of the room were frozen at the sound of the gunshot. Slowly, the boy fell, the disbelieving stare being the last expression that he would ever use. Even the man that had been holding him captive stared in disbelief for a moment.

That moment of disbelief was his undoing. The little girl in the corner, who had so far remained unnoticed, stared, not with tears of fear, but of anger, gave a cry of rage that once again startled the man with the gun, and launched herself at him. Seing this, Roselyn attemopted to lunge herself, in defense of her daughter. In a panic, the attempted blow he aimed at the girl's head missed, but the bullet aimed at the mother did not.

Anthony was beyond grief and into despair, but he did not waste the distraction given him by his family. The knife strapped to his wrist inside his sleeve was instantly in his hand, and a moment later, embedded in his enemy's neck.

Gurgling, the man collapsed, still being punched, kicked and even bitten by the blur of energy that was the little girl. The gun dropped from his fingers and clattered to the floor, and his hands were now clutched at his throat in a vain attempt to try and bring back his ability to breathe.

Anthony saw none of this, kneeling by the body of his wife, who by some miracle had retained a hold on life long enough to see what he'd done. Her eyes, though pained, held an expression of understanding. She gently reached up a finger and caressed his face. "Now...now I know who you really are..."

She died in his arms, but still, he had no time for grief. he thought he heard someone call his name, and the sound of a footstep, heavier than his daughter's, entered his ear. And then a hand descended on his shoulder, and instinct took over...

The moment her hand touched his shoulder, his eyes flashed open. Barely aware of what he was doing, he roughly grabbed the hand and yanked on it, to throw her off-balance, and to pull himself up. He performed a deft twist that had her arm pined to her back, in the same moment allowing his own arm to snake around her neck in a maneuver that could either be used to break it or choke her uncoscious...

And then reality caught up to him, freezing his actions. It had only been a dream, and now he was awake, and he knew where he was. His eyes widened.

Releasing his captive, he rolled over in the bed, away from her, and covered his face in his hands. "Sarah? Sarah, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..." he said, his voice nearly cracking from the fearful realization that he could have killed her...

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It all happened so fast, she hadn't even known what was really going on. One minute she was checking to see if he was okay and not a split second later she was in immense pain in his hands. One move, just one move, he could snap her neck and depart her from the world. But he stopped, she felt his hands weaken and then she dropped to the ground her hands on her neck trying to breath, trying to welcome in oxygen again. But it only came in in brief gasps and left in spurts of coughing.

She began to crawl to the door, her hands massaging the hand burns on her neck, while the coughing and tears reduced her to a disgusting figure trying to cross the flow. "I'm sorry." She said, her voice crackling in tears. "I didn't mean to...to..." She went into a coughing spasm again and collapsed on the floor. Letting go of all of her emotions in her eyes.

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He might not have killed her, but he had obviously hurt her. He knew, intellectually, that it was neither his nor her fault, but his hands, his actions had been what had hurt her, and so he could not help but feel guilt at what he'd done.

Something inside of him nearly broke when he actually managed to build enough courage to see what he'd done. Not just the physical damage, which had weakened her to the point she couldn't even move, but she had been trying to get away. She was afraid of him.

And that was something he could hardly bear to see. Blinking back his own tears, he got up, wrapping one of the sheets around himself to ensure at least a modicum of modesty, and quietly walked over to where Sarah lay on the floor.

Kneeling, he picked her up, gently, as he would a child, and set her carefully on the bed. Tenderly, he brushed the hair out her eyes, then wiped away her tears with the corner of another sheet.

Dragging a chair over next to the bed, he sat, staring at her with sadness in his eyes. "I-I really am sorry," he stammered. "I should have...I should have warned you to...not to disturb...to startle me when I'm dreaming."

It was a painful struggle to get even a single word out, much less what he managed to say. He had never even considered the fact that he could hurt her. As he said, he should have warned her about the danger of surprising or startling someone with his training and experiences. So in a way, he felt it was his fault, despite what his rational mind was trying to tell him.

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She sniffed trying to draw back the pain and the tears. "No...its okay...I didn't know. It's not your fault, neither of us were ready for something like that." Sarah ran her arm across her face and nose, trying to dry out her tears. "I'll be okay, I can handle a lot. It was scary for a minute there, but it'll be okay. Its not like you killed me or anything." She chuckled, but it was a forced chuckle, trying her hardest to lighten the mood around them. "But seriously Anthony its okay, it was just...just unexpected."

She sighed and took his hand off her face and placed it in her palm. "But what were you dreaming about that made you so...so tense, so angry?" At the same time, Sarah massaged the back of her neck. "You know you really did a number on me...man...you really did." This time she laughed and it was legitimate as she kissed him lightly on the cheek.

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No, he hadn't killed her, but if his mind had been just a little slower in catching up to the present, he could very well have done so. He appreciated her attempts to lighten the mood, even if they were a little forced, but he still had trouble looking her in the eye, even when she held his hand and kissed him on the cheek. Even when she laughed for real, his expression didn't change, because now her question brought up why he'd done what he had.

He almost didn't answer. But the same reason he hadn't held back the truth when she'd called him in Melbourne prompted him to speak again. "I-I was dreaming of...of the night my family died."

With anyone else, he might have hid his current emotions. But around Sarah, he wasn't afraid to cry, and the long-buried tears flowed freely, unashamedly.

"Not my brother--I wasn't even there when that happened. But my wife, and my two sons..." he took a deep breath, forcing himself to get it out. "I watched it all h-happen. I couldn't stop it from happening. I-I killed the man who did it, but they were beyond saving."

He looked at his hands, blurred as they were through his watery eyes. "With all I could do, I couldn't save three of the lives that were most important to me."

Burying his face in her shoulder, he let himself simply cry a few minutes more. There was more he wanted to say, more he needed to say, but the resolution he made could wait the few minutes it took for them both to recover--her from what had happened, he from the memories.

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Sarah hugged him tightly as he continued to cry. "Don't worry, Anthony, I'm here for you. We've all seen people die, so close that we can still hear their screams. But we're stronger that than, we're stronger than to give into the fears that can push us into the darkness forever. What happened to your family isn't your fault, so there's no reason to beat yourself up like this." But she knew that even she couldn't believe the words escaping from her mouth. Sarah only held him tight, just waiting for him to recover.

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It didn't matter to him whether she herself believed the words she said. All that mattered was that despite his earlier reaction, she wasn't afraid, that she was still there, trying to help him deal with his grief. Just the simple fact that she was there and listening was helping, as well as the knowledge that she too knew a little of what he felt, and so could truly sympathize.

When his tears finally began to slow, he raised his head and blinked, wiping away what he could with one of his hands. it helped, though a small trickle was till making its way down his cheeks.

He offered a tentative smile. "I always think I've dealt with it, but then it comes back to me in my dreams. I know, intellectually, that there was nothing I could have done, but when you're dreaming, your mind is hardly logical about anything."

He blinked twice more, in an attempt to clear his vision. "I did what I could, though it wasn't much. But..." he bit his lip as he trailed off, unsure how she would receive what he had to say next. "I couldn't help them then, but I might be able to help you now. Sarah, how capable are you of defending yourself from attack?"

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Sarah drew back for a moment and looked at him curiously. "Defend myself?" She looked down for a moment. "Well I mean, I've always been a scrapper, but as to professional fighting. Not really." She massaged her neck again and chuckled. "I'm guessing to defend myself from people sleeping in their beds." Seeing the immediate hurt look on his face, Sarah frowned. "I didn't mean it like that Anthony, honestly. But I've never really given any thought to defend myself. Probably should. But what brought this up?"

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"...but what brought this up?"

To be honest, he wasn't sure he could explain it properly, but he would try. one of his hands twisted restlessly in his lap, as if he was nervous. "In a way, I suppose, it would be atoning for any mistakes I did make. I've already told you once before how I would feel if anything ever happened to you. The same way I felt when my family died. I could sleep a little more soundly, I think, if I knew you were capable of defending yourself from an assassination attempt, if I knew I had done everything in my power to make you safe."

He sighed, tapping his temple with a finger. "I don't need to remind you of the rest of my past, do I? I can think like an assassin, so I can teach you how to thwart potential attacks."

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She smiled and hugged him again tightly. "The world would be a lonely place without people like you Anthony. I promise you that nothing is going to happen to me, I mean honestly, the world is a pretty friendly place. Maybe minus Europe, but still, I don't think I have much to worry about. Psycho killers and all." She chuckled. "But it it will make you feel better, you can train me to your heart's content. I'm not a professional fighter, but I'm scrappy enough."

Sarah released him and looked at him with doe eyes. "So when do you want to start?"

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As she hugged him, he returned the embrace in equal measure, communicating his feelings not in words, but in that simple action.

Despite her promise that nothing would happen to her, still, he wondered. The world was an unpredictable, uncertain place. But who was he to spoil her view of the world? If she could keep a positive outlook, even after everything that had happened to her, then that was something worth treasuring, something he would not take away from her.

When she released him, it was to see a wondering smile upon his face. She was certainly willing enough to go along with this. And her expression spoke volumes without the need for a single word, though he wasn't sure how to interpret those volumes. To be honest, he had a little trouble even thinking when she looked at him like that.

"So when do you want to start?"

He blinked out of the slight daze her expression induced, smiling. "Uh...actually, I just need a couple days to prepare properly. I have some arrangements to make, and a few things at home I need to pick up. Does that sound good?"

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She nodded enthusiastically. "That's fine Anthony when ever your ready. You know you're always welcome here at anytime, day or night. Just I'll have to remember not to come into your room when you're asleep." She giggled. "But yeah, I'm excited to start something like this. Probably should start hitting the gym a bit more. Not that I'm in bad shape right now, but I'm definitely not in fighting physique, so a few days would be good just so I could start to get my endurance back up. But yeah, definitely looking forward to it."

Sarah yawned and got up off the bed, pulled him up next to her and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "But there's no rush either way. Anywho, its getting late and I want to get a little sleep for tonight." She said realizing that Anthony's attack had sapped everything out of the her body and the fears from before were totally gone. "Good night Anthony, and if you're leaving tomorrow morning, make sure you say good bye before you head back to to Promised Land."

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