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Out of Retirement


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[Rebeu's House: Mariehamm]

Rebeu reached for for the doorknob, only to find his door already slightly open. He pulled a revolver from his coat pocket, and slowly walked in. Something crashed in the living room, and he quickly ran in, only to drop his gun in surprise. "Holy !@#$...It's you."

"Indeed, sorry about mess, I knocked over that vase by accident..." replied the stranger.

"I thought you had retired..how did you get in here?"

"You forget, I wasn't always an old politician, how can a revolutionary storm a palace if he can't open the front gate?" Replied the stranger with a chuckle, tossing a set of lockpicks on the coffee table.

"Well, formalities aside, what are you doing here besides breaking into my house and..I see you found the liquor cabinet."

"Yes, you have good taste, what year is this?"

"You're avoiding the question."

"Ah, yes. Quite simple my old friend, I'm here to take back my empire."


The stranger raised a gun, and shot Rebeu in the head.

The first domino has fallen.

[To Be Continued]

Edited by BaronUberstein
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Uberstein sat in a middle-of-nowhere 50's-esq diner, one of the few things left over the Ubersteinia's "disco movement". He wore a clever disguise: an afro, aviator sunglasses, white bell bottom pants, and a white shirt, and sat looking at the menu for over 20 minutes before the waitress came along. "Sir..are you ready to order yet? It's been 20 minutes."

"I just can't decide if I should have the cod jellow or the salmon jello..."

"Sir, neither of those are on the menu..."

"Very well, then I will have this thing you call a ...cheese burger?"

"You want lettuce or onions with that?"

"A whole onion? I don't think I could handle that."

"...I'll just go get your cheese burger. Anything to drink?"

"No thanks, I brought my own" Uberstein replied as he pulled a bottle of Ausone 1955 Red Bordeaux out of his bag, "I just need a glass, if you would be so kind."

The waitress looked at this crazy man for a second, then shook her head as she walked off to fill the order.

Meanwhile, the TV was showing a news story about how the CEO of Mariehamm Arms had been found dead in his house. Police are having trouble finding evidence due to the fact that the entire house was vacuumed and cleaned. Things reported stolen by the wife were: The ENTIRE contents of the wine cellar, the liquor cabinet, and the vacuum cleaner used to clean the house. They also found a note pinned to Rebeu's million dollar suit that said "Can't think of anything witty at the moment, sorry for the mess. Oh, and I suggest you clean this carpet quickly, blood stains can be quite troublesome."

The reporter continued on, "COO of the company and now largest stockholder Henry Panschz, potential heir to the incredible Panschz fortune, has taken the place of CEO and has released 25% of Rebeu's stock to the open market, buying the rest himself, giving him an incredibly 70% ownership in the company."

Uberstein thanked the waitress as she brought him his food.

[To be Continued]

Edited by BaronUberstein
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Uberstein walked back to his 18-wheeler, one of several in the lot. He sat down in the cab, "Hello Alfred, liking your new home?"

"That is the 9th time you have asked that sir."

"And you never answer."

"Riding in the back of an 18 wheeler is not what I thought I would be doing."

"Well, what was I going to do, leave you in that prison of a home?"

"It was the easier option."

"You're too hard on yourself, besides, you've gotten some personality since I had to reconnect you. How is the power generator holding up?"

"Fuel levels are at 99.98%, I took the liberty to siphon from the gas tank."

"...Okay, I guess I'll go buy more petrol then."

Uberstein patted the speaker duct-taped down on the dashboard, and stepped out of the vehicle.

OOC: Yes, he brought the AI WITH him. :awesome:

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Henry Panschz walked up to the podium, TV cameras focusing on him. "World, today I bring you grave news. Rebeu is dead. He was murdered in his home, and I have been forced to take the position of CEO of Mariehamm Arms. I can assure our stockholders that this will not affect the performance of the company, but we ask all of you to be patient as we deal with this. Our police forces can handle the case, and we require no foreign interference. Thank you, all questions can be directed at our press secretary."

He walked off the stage as the press secretary walked on.

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"Hello Mr. Panschz."

Panschz awoke suddenly, and started to sit up when a gloved hand stopped him.

"I have grave news...your brother is dead."

"WHAT?!? When? How?!"

The stranger looked at his watch, "In about 20 minutes, car crash, oddly enough fleeing the scene of his brother's murder."

"...Oh god, you're here to kill me."

"Well I thought that was rather obvious from the gun in my hand."

"Please...I have a wife and kids..."

"Now now Mr. Panschz, lies now? I thought better of you. We all know that child isn't yours. You really should have paid closer attention to the mailman."

"Oh god why..."

"Nothing personal, well, actually it is, I personally want to take over this country and you're in the way. Good night."


The stranger shot Panschz in the chest 5 times in an amateur fashion, and took the gun with him. Police would find his brother dead, his car crashed into a boulder, the murder weapon in his passenger seat and his hand covered in gunshot residue. Motivations were clear, become the only heir to the Panschz fortune. The case was closed in a week.

A new CEO took control the next day, named Joseph S. Shoemacker.

Edited by BaronUberstein
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Shoemacker walked into his new shiny office, and closed the door. "Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit, this here office sure is fancy."

"...This is better than I hoped."

"Wha? Who's talking?"

The stranger slowly shook his head, and walked up, holding a large binder, "Just the window cleaner, can you sign this receipt?"

"Well sure thing mr. cleaner." Shoemacker signed the paper, not even bothering to wonder why a receipt was inside a large binder filled with at least 20 pages.

"Thank you. Now get out of my office."


"You just signed over the entire corporation and all it's assets to my personal control, which you were able to do thanks to the Emergency Powers clause in the company's CEO contract, where if a CEO is killed, the next CEO can take action without the approval of the stockholders."


"Don't interrupt, now where was I? Oh yes. It was only a matter of time before someone completely incompetent came into power. I originally thought of tricking you into selling the company for a goose, but instead I went for clean windows. Now do I have to have security escort you out?"

"...This is a funny joke you're playing."

"Oh dear god..that's it." the stranger pulled out a gun and shot Shoemacker between the eyes. He walked over to the intercom, "Get janitorial services and the lawyers up here. There are some messes to clean up."

Edited by BaronUberstein
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