This Week in Pacifica

[Schattenmann]

Good evening, I'm your host Schattenmann, and this is TWiP; the weekly news journal dedicated to providing you, the people, with interesting, important, or just fun information about Bob's centerpiece, Pacifica. As she goes, so goes the world. And, of course, we're not above leaving the comforts of our studio here in Francograd to slog through the filthy streets of other alliance's if that's where our quest for knowledge takes us.

This week we've got an exciting lineup for you; trolling allies, a road to recovery, a spy captured.

Caution! TWiP is on!

Back on Topic

I am not aware of the foreign policy course of most alliances, or even more than a few, but I can imagine that many of you have been in an alliance that utilizes the famous Q&A format. Oh! No! Don't turn that dial, just yet, NPO! As I was saying: The only alliance I've been in that did so was TOP, and, frankly, I always thought it was a little silly in practice. The government already wants the treaty or no one would be there to ask questions of, and anyone that asks a serious question gets told to apologize and/or shut up. Then there's the scrolling past mind-numbing "beef or chicken?" questions from hee-hawing, helmet-wearing morons that think diplomacy means being cutesy.

Pacifica, Shining Star of Bob's Skies, is an alliance that utilizes the Q&A. We all know that recently MK gave NPO a PIAT in exchange for the ability to re-instate their first-strike policy; however, what many of our viewers doesn't know is that Pacifica has been gunning--pardon me, begging--for a MDP from MK for some time. Maybe they were awestruck when MK actually defended its allies in some of the most awful wars of the last year. Maybe they were impressed with MK's ability to take damage with the pleasure of a trunk-dwelling gimp. But the fact of the matter is that the membership already voted 85% against a MDP with NPO; however, this week in Pacifica the MK delegation fielded questions from Pacificans.

Now, if you've seen or participated in a Q&A you know the drill; if not, trust me, I'm saving your from the crap and cutting right to the chase, here. For the first few pages, it's all the usual: What do you think of Francoism; What do you think of Continuum; What's your favorite color (hee-haw); We just signed a PIAT, when are we getting to the 'A'; Softshell or crunchy? (hee-haw); What do you think about EZI?

But, my friends and Pacifican comrades, you can be sure that things got better than that:

(Before we begin, I must apologize. Because of the large number of quotes involved, I must use colored text instead of quote tags)

Vengashii

real question: why is CN Radio filled with so much disgusting crap?

Good question for MK's government since they're solely responsible for the content. But, true to form, MK tries to keep it light:

Tamerlane

Because its run by two !@#$%* alliances.

Then bros keeps it real.

bros

auto dj was only updated twice

And I must agree with you, bros, autodj is crap. But that's not what we're talking about, dear bros, you innocent thing, you've been caught unawares!

Vengashii

I was not referring to the autodj

bros

Define disgusting crap

And now! It gets serious.

Vengashii

(transitive verb: -gust•ed, -gust•ing, -gusts.)

1. To excite nausea or loathing in; sicken.

2. To offend the taste or moral sense of; repel.

crap

1   /kræp/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [krap] Show IPA noun, verb, crapped, crapping.

noun

1. Vulgar.

a. excrement.

b. an act of defecation.

2. Slang: Sometimes Vulgar.

a. nonsense; drivel.

b. falsehood, exaggeration, propaganda, or the like.

3. refuse; rubbish; junk; litter: Will you clean up that crap!

That's right, the ol' Quote-the-Dictionary! I see great things in the future!

bros

har har how funny

Now tell me what you think is so bad about CN radio

Vengashii

The content that spews forth from several DJs leaves much to be desired. See: disgusting crap.

Thanks for the specifics so we can move on with this. You're so very helpful! You must really want this resolved and are not simply arguing for the sake of arguing.

Now, enter: Bilrow. As we know, guest-of-the-Emperor Bilrow is the most loathed ruler on the planet. Maybe it's his penchant for snitching, maybe it's his sickening-sweet IRC logs, maybe because he insists he's a unicorn--Who can say? But he's a useful forum admin, so we keep him around in Pacifica.

Bilrow

Example #1: People making fun of Moo's voice?

Example #2: Off-color jokes.

Thank you, Bilrow, now we can get down to business.

Vengashii

Please excuse my tardiness, it takes awhile to collect all the grievances made.

Anyways, most of it boils down to the following:

1. As Bilrow said above, off-color jokes. Very off-color, racist, sexist, offensive jokes.

2. A drunk DJ is not a good DJ.

3. There is one particular incident where a DJ was heard to have been talking about $%&@ and making a huge joke out of it.

At this point, I'll remind the viewership that CN Radio, which is not affiliated with Vox News, is a joint project between NPO and MK. If members of the Pacifican government have a problem with CN Radio, they can take it up with the Pacifican government who can bring it up with the MK.

The incident where Moo's voice was made fun of by a guest on AirMe's after show happened a month ago, while Moo was on air.

I imagine if the government of NPO has major and minor issues going back a month and more, then they'd do like any other government does: Pull out of the relationship. But we're talking about a Pacifica that's got it baaaad for MK.

AirMe hops in at this point:

The person that made fun of Moo's voice hasn't been on the radio since.

Off color jokes? Im guessing this is something from a show other than mine?

You mean the issue with UberSpion has been handled for a month, but Bilrow (not Moo) is still sore over it?! No, not Bilrow!

bros

For both:

It's CN Radio, not Squeaky Clean, Wearing the Kid's Gloves Radio.

I'm not offended when people make fun of my voice. Moo shouldn't either.

If you can't stand an off-color joke here and there, grow thicker skin.

At this point I will explain in a most hands-off manner that bros and Moo have high-pitched voices. I find them both very pleasant to listen to, honestly.

Bilrow

That's all well and good, however, the numerous members of New Pacific Order who have complained about it are more upset with the fact that our name is tied to it.

So offended that we're bringing it up a month after it happened in Q&A session designed to further alliance relations.

Perhaps if Pacificans are upset that their name is connected to CN Radio, then they should petition the Pacifican government to remove their names. Oh, wait, Pacificans that petition their government get expelled and ZIed--I guess getting Bilrow and Vengashii to crap post is the best way to handle it, after all.

Now AirMe accelerates with a flamefest like I've never seen, I mean the guy is incoherent:

I have heard a lot of Pacifican's claim that they complained about things. But only 1 person from the NPO ever complained about anything to me and I took care of it immediately. I personally only received a handful of complaints from others and I took care of them as soon as I was made aware of them. It is all well and good if you complain to each other about things, but unless a station manager is alerted to a situation it can't be handled.

We can't read minds. And we can't listen 24/7. If there is something wrong, bring it to us and we will fix it.

Woo! You better watch it there, mon ami. I can read minds and fix problems I'm unaware of. Bilrow can. Why can't you? Because you're an insolent, anti-NPO despotic primitivist.

Vegashii

We are bringing it to you now, then.

Bravo. Mature and concise.

bros

The DJ who DJed drunk was a single incident. He admitted he was in the wrong. He was told not to DJ drunk again or else he would be relieved of his duties as a DJ.

Has he ever DJed drunk again? Nope.

How come I never have heard of any of these complaints before today?

Zha never told AirMe or I about any complaints whatsoever.

Why are you bringing this !@#$ up now?

You do know that nobody is forcing you to listen, correct? You know that you can -GASP- tune out if something offends your delicate ears? What a wonderous invention, the stop button!

AirMe

I need names, offenses and a radio station to actually do something about it now don't I Vengashii?

Vengashii

And I will happily provide them to you.

SLAP FIGHT! The words of an Imperial Officer.

Bilrow replies to bros "so turn it off" illogical fallacy.

This isn't the issue. The issue is the fact that our name, New Pacific Order, is tied to this crap. We don't appreciate our name being associated with $%&@ jokes, off-colored jokes, and stupidity.

AirMe responds to Bilrow with more completely backwards nonsense:

So complain when the !@#$ occurs. Not months later. As previously stated, when ever I was made aware of an issue it was taken care of. When ever bros was made away of an issue, it was taken care of. When ever Zhadum was made aware of an issue he took care of it. When ever Koona was made aware of an issue it was taken care of.

IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOMETHING, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT instead of !@#$%*ing after the fact that no one did anything about. That is like not voting and then complaining how the leadership of the US sucks.

Bilrow with the retort

Look at the post above yours.

Who could loathe this man?!

Z'ha'dum

"Zha never told AirMe or I about any complaints whatsoever."

Certainly untrue, however, my reports of the complaints and attempts to deal with them were dismissed, including multiple conflicts in the CN Radio channel between us when, for instance, I took Arrow to task for his behavior on air.

bros

I talked to arrow in a query about it. You shouldn't have !@#$%*ed at him in front of everyone. Don't air the dirty laundry in a semi-public channel. If you wanted something like that, tell the DJs not to DJ while drunk and yell at arrow in query.

AirMe spews more ridiculous inanity

Taking someone to task publicly before talking to them privately to fix their behavior is a very ineffective way to handle a situation. Public ridicule tends to just piss people off.

You and Koona share the blame in this as much as bros and I do. We were supposed to be a management team. But none of this matters anymore since there is no more radio at this point in time.

MaskofBlue throws herself before the mob to shield her beloved

Talking to Arrow in the DJ staff channel so that ALL DJs were aware of what is inappropriate behavior is not public ridicule.

To which the Mushroom slavs throw more crap

Yes it is. It's better to keep the chastising to the queries. The raw stuff. THEN say in the DJ channel like "HEY GUYS ARROW BROADCAST DRUNK DON't do that or we $%&@ you over okay?"

If there are more than the parties involved present, yes MaskofBlue, it is.

After lazing around for a few pages, Archon decides to come take a look at the trainwreck.

With respect, this is a question an answer session for the members of the NPO to get to know MK better. It is not a thread for Bilrow and Vengashii to !@#$%* to the point of derailment. There are other forums provided for this.

Unless I was mistaken, in which case I would be more than happy to withdraw from hereon out so that AirMe, bros, Bilrow, and Vengashii can have their conversation.

Bilrow takes a step back and explains that he is trying to foster friendship in the typical Pacifican manner that he's picked up on in the last year.

Sorry, thought the point of this thread was to air out misconceptions, get to know each other, and foster friendship.

And Vengashii brings up the rear guard

I am bringing up legitimate grievances with the membership of the Mushroom Kingdom and you call it !@#$%*ing it to the point of derailment?

Archon

Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

You're complaining about the execution of the Radio with respect to the fact that your name is also affixed to it. The majority of MK did not come over to witness such questioning. You're derailing what was previously useful and conducive conversation. Unless you're implying that questions such as the ones asked by Lord of Destruction were entirely useless and amounted to nothing more than boxer wearing questioning.

In that case, what would you count as a quality question?

(Before Vengashii and Bilrow firmly squatted on the face of the Q&A session, Lord of Destruction was keping the whole thing going with very in-depth, productive questions.)

With this refreshing air-clearer out there, Bilrow turns himself around and starts acting like an adult.

Bilrow

I'm sorry I thought you were the leader of MK and had control. My bad.

Back on topic, so we don't discuss real issues:

Favorite color?

Archon answers like the adult he is

If you want to take that path then you should be quietly airing grievances to both myself and your own Emperor, as we're both soul autocrats of our respective alliances. Or you can respect the de facto chain of command that the radio adheres to, wherein AirMe and bros essentially control on MK's end.

Any other attempts at derailment you'd like to make? Or would you like to allow other NPOers to ask questions to better get to know MK?

And the two loyal--excuse me--the loyal Pacifican and also Bilrow keep a stiff upper lip

Bilrow: Favorite color?

Vengashii: I'm dying to know your favourite drink, Archon.

If I had to guess, I'd say Archon drinks MANLINESS: Guaranteed to help you make it through even the most exasperating childcare session.

AirMe gives it another shot.

The radio was setup to be politically neutral not under the control of MK or NPO. I also need to remind you that Pacifica approached bros and I about doing CN radio and not the other way around.

Again, I will say, if there is blame to be spread around, it gets spread evenly through myself, bros, zhadum and koona. Pinning this all on bros and I is pretty idiotic.

Bilrow

Quiet now, we are on to more important questions like color and drinks.

Hurrr levels increasing

And the thread-winner?

bros

Bilrow, can you stop being such a whiny $@ for once and !@#$%* at me in query about all of your issues with me and airme because I guess we are such scum?

The Road to Recovery

And now for something completely different.

It has always been a pet peeve of mine that you masses think that an absence of "drama" on these forums means an absolute absence of drama. Case in point, the GGA's public fiasco may be over, but things are still hot in the public house of the Imperial Green Village. I do not wish to step on my sleezy counterpart The Tattler's toes, so I limit my revelations to this bit of lulz for your consumption.

The heir-apparent to the throne of GGA, ochocinco, has published what I'm calling his Roadmap to Respect. The document, a slideshow presentation that has mysteriously been privatized, repeats and assumes ochocinco's installation as King of the GGA. It outlines GGA's current problems (no military wonders, treaty tangle, government incomptence, existence) and ochocinco's solutions: military reorganization, applicant academy, nation-building guides, treaty re-evaluation, openness with the membership, government training--the standard things that your generally successful alliances do.

edit: Link restored http://docs.google.com/Presentation?id=dfczwssm_7ffndxh8x

GGA's response?

* ironchef has joined #Umbrella

<DerekJones> :-D

<ochocinco> YES

<ochocinco> ironchef, I hear you have some unkind words for me.

<ochocinco> Something about eating !@#$ and dying.

<ironchef> I think that about covers it

<uaciaut> XMFD

* degenerate108 has joined #Umbrella

<ironchef> you know there is no love loss with you and I

<ironchef> I dont like you

<ochocinco> Problem is, I'm having trouble finding an adequate amount of !@#$ to assure my untimely death.

<Napoleon> This is epic.

<ironchef> I dont like what you say on the OWF

<ochocinco> Perhaps you know a good source?

<ironchef> there is nothing about you I like

<ochocinco> Oh, keep talking, I'm finding more !@#$ to eat all the time!

<ochocinco> Yes, give me more!

<DerekJones> [00:28] <ironchef> and tell Ocho to eat !@#$ and die

<uaciaut> oh come on he is kinda cute

<ironchef> what more do you need to know about how I feel about you

<DerekJones> In case anyone missed it :-P

<ironchef> not your alliances just you

<ironchef> I dont like you

<ironchef> have a good night

* Stumpy has joined #Umbrella

<uaciaut> hahhahah

<ironchef> I have things to do

Cloak and Dagger Corner

Vox terrorist spies have been being sniffed-out, rounded-up, and mowed-down all across the globe. As these screenshots show, GGA has removed the Vox spy.

Wakka wakka.

Gotta Catch 'em All

It seems I created a bit of a monster a few weeks ago when I created a collectible sig, then failed to release one last week. So, to make up for it, tonight I have two for you:

(Please rehost these on your own image hosting account)

This second sig coming, of course, from the query between scotchwithrocks, saviour of GGA, and DerekJones, who is "<ironchef> poisonous" If you haven't read up on that one, it's a doozy (links in the topic of #vox_populi). It seems that in keeping its tradition of ZIing former Triumvirs, scotchwithrocks and degenerate108 have approved listing DerekJones as a target because he changed his alliance affiliation to "GGA Applicant" with KungFuHamster's permission. Can't believe it? I don't know why, it's GGA.

There's a saying that comes to mind, here: Anything with three heads is a monster.

I hope you've been entertained and perhaps even enlightened on this, the 537th day since the declaration of mission accomplished in the FAN territories.

Edited April 9, 2009 by Schattenmann

[SpacingOutMan]

First. Seems like such a fun conversation to have... lol

Edited April 7, 2009 by SpacingOutMan

[Tarikmo]

I like Bilrow's example #1

[ty345]

What's this? A TWiP that doesn't accuse NPO of holding everyone else down? OMG!

[AirMe]

YES MY CAREER IS COMPLETE! I HAVE BEEN FEATURED IN A TWIP!

[Warzors]

That was enjoyable.

[Sithis]

Eh. I've seen better.

[tamerlane]

But you left out when all was reconciled and the thread finally got back on track!

Also, look Im in pink

[Jonathan Archer]

Pretty colors.

At least there was NPO in this one.

[Iotupa]

Surprisingly, I knew a good deal of that prior to the posting, but the Q&A section giving me the exact quotes was informative. Nice issue.

[Republic of Roma]

Another great TWIP!! Keep up the good work. It's great stuff Schattenmann. Always worth it.

[Batallion]

REAL MEN SLEEP BESIDE THEIR WIVES.

Lol'd so damn hard, omfg.

[Schattenmann]

But you left out when all was reconciled and the thread finally got back on track!

Also, look Im in pink

Oh, yeah, then Archon tells bros to say he's sorry, so bros says "sorry" then Vengashii is ungracious about it. Then everyone is still pissed off at each other, anyway.

[Poobah]

Interesting and good read

[RobertFitzy]

Looks like its back to business after all the April fools week fun.

[tommattox]

XD Some of this stuff makes you wonder what goes through some peoples minds (scotch, Bilrow and ironchef mostly.)

[lebubu]

Great issue, TWiP makes my miserable CN life just a little bit brighter!

[Archon]

If I had to guess, I'd say Archon drinks MANLINESS: Guaranteed to help you make it through even the most exasperating childcare session.

Close. I actually drink

. It's basically the same thing though.

OOC Disclaimer: It's been a while since I've watched that, so there may be mild language and content inappropriate for users under the age of 18. Consider yourselves warned.

[cookavich]

Bilrow, doin it right.

[theArrowheadian]

I find it almost amusing that I was the center of attention in a discussion I had no access to influence.

[Schattenmann]

I find it almost amusing that I was the center of attention in a discussion I had no access to influence.

You are an awful, awful man!

[Ardus]

I particularly enjoyed this edition.

[Chief Savage Man]

Eh. I've seen better.

I doubt you can do better.

[Draztikus]

I'm going to sleep beside my wife now, but tomorrow morning when I return there better be screenshots from the Q forums or so help me Admin, I will write a nasty letter to the editor!

[Aeternalis]

I'm going to sleep beside my wife now, but tomorrow morning when I return there better be screenshots from the Q forums or so help me Admin, I will write a nasty letter to the editor!

well basically since Q forums are dead now...

bloc really exists in name only.