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Slavorussian Premier Resigns


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Premier Kolesnikov resigns!

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Lady Viktoryia Kolesnikov resigned as the Slavorussian Prime Minister today as a result of her continued illness. Late last year Lady Kolesnikov was diagnosed with cancer which had spread to various parts of her body. Then in early January the Prime Minister underwent surgery to have several tumors removed, and quickly returned to work. In recent weeks her doctors have found several more tumors, which they say will require aggressive treatment. In a letter addressed to parliament the former premier says, “My disease has progressed to a new stage and will require my full and undivided attention. I will not be able to serve His Majesty‘s government during this time therefore I must resign.”

The constitution dictates that Lady Kolesnikov’s duties now fall to Deputy Premier Vladimir Belyakov. Belyakov is expected to be sworn in officially tomorrow morning, after his meeting with the Tsar.

Lady Kolesnikov who has devoted her entire life to the service of the Slavorussian people says this is only a small bump in her political career, but it will not mark the end of it. She hasn’t made any definite plans but she say’s she’d be interested in returning to Parliament after she recovers. She wishes her successor and the government the best of luck and says, “You‘re gonna need it.”

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A private message to Slavorussia

Greetings.

Canada has quite advanced medicinal technology; We would like to help Lady Kolesnikov in fighting her cancer. We have a success-rate unseen in the rest of the world in getting rid of a person's cancer.

If Lady Kolesnikov is interested, we would be honored to offer her a full treatment at 1/4th of the normal price.

Regards,

Samuel Velver

Ferinh General Hospital

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