Stumpy Jung Il Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 (edited) Well, I've been thinking of doing this for a while now and today I was just bored enough to go ahead and do it. This is not an April Fools thread so don't treat it like one. If this paper catches on and people actually enjoy reading it I will try to make it a weekly thing, or every other week at most, as well as adding IRC interviews, other peoples articles, and more images/comics/drawings/etc. given to me by other people. If you are interested in writing a piece for this, making an image/cartoon for the publication, or being interviewed for the next issue on IRC please send me a PM or query me at any time. Thanks in advance for the feed back and I hope you enjoy the read! (Image by SkyGreenChick of Valhalla) DANGER: The following is a piece of free speech and even has moments where I speak my mind. GGA members should refrain from reading at all costs. Thank you. Whats New? Absolutely nothing. What's the same thing with a new face? Well, Let me tell you! So the last couple of days have been quite hectic when its come to our dear Planet Bob, with some not so surprising moves from some not so surprising alliances. First of all, we witnessed several treaties come out of the Gramlins this week, an alliance that is not known for having all that many treaties. The biggest of these steps was the signing of a mutual defense pact with the Mushroom Kingdom, a move that while influential, surprised no one. Not even Electron Sponge was given props for calling it days before, probably because I remember working on said treaty when I was in MK over a year ago. However, it was pleasing to see such a bond announced as well as Aqua love spread a little bit further. In other treaty news, I hate this game. I was reminded, once again, this week that the MDP web is completely ridiculous, as we saw over 10 defensive treaties signed with only one actually being canceled. This continues the trend of people !@#$%*ing more and more about the web yet signing more and more treaties in exponential numbers. Im pretty sure we could find a correlation for this data, but I dont really feel like it. Monos Archein Cancels on NPO This week we witnessed yet another cancellation from the SF side of the web, this time coming from the SuperFriends member Monos Archein. While this cancellation was soon followed by 10 more new treaties, it was still a pleasant sight to behold in the wake of VE's recent treaty purge, a beacon of light if you will in a ever growing pile of useless that is the MDP web. While the treaty was canceled because they were "drifting apart," I have a growing feeling that maybe Im being lied to by the people telling me that there arn't sides forming. As a man who has seen several Great Wars and the conflicts that people will continuously debate over how great they were, I feel like I've seen this dance before. Something about it just doesn't feel right. However, I will continue to try to hide my inner paranoia and just wait and see. Actually, I changed my mind, seriously if you are denying that stuff is going down I hate you. Nuff said. Some Milestones and Announcements that May Be Worth the Mention This week witnessed several other announcements that were pleasing to just about all the posters that visit our not so humble boards. For starters, Gramlins announced that it reached 9 million Total Nation Strength as well as a whopping 75,000 Average this week, releasing a whole bunch of "!@#$ your pants" into the atmosphere of Planet Bob. Seriously, you know an alliance is scary when my nuclear nation is in a race to keep up with half of their average nation strength. In other news, the New Sith Order announced a new forum, new government, and several milestones this week, making it clear that they are here to stay. This news combined with their recent activity in the Brown sphere as well as their finalized treaty with STA has proven Ivan's NSO to be a force that plans to stick around, making them an alliance to look out for in the coming days. The MHA also had a big announcement this week when they released a treaty similar to the OPP, creating a bloc of alliances that are under MHA's protection. While not as restricting as the OPP, it is similar and marks an addition to an already interesting treaty concept. Hats of to the Blue Things MCXA made headlines this week by announcing a new, more consolidated government, that made it clear that they were prepared to begin fixing MCXA. While Im not a fan of the alliance or its policies, I must admit I admire the new governments determination to make up for the recent blow they took from the formation of The Sweet Oblivion (who I hate). I look forward to seeing what MCXA does in the future under this new government, and I give a tip of my hat to them in their efforts to right the wrongs that were done to them. If You Posted An April Fools Thread I Probably Hate You CAUTION: If you have an IQ of greater than 7, DO NOT READ THE CN BOARDS AT ANYTIME BETWEEN MARCH 31ST AND APRIL 2ND. IGNORING SAID WARNING MAY RESULT IN BRAIN DAMAGE. The title says it all really. This week the boards have become flooded with useless drivel, the likes of which CN hasn't seen since last week. Seriously, most of these threads arn't even remotely funny. However, I cant decide whats worse. Is it the people who post the threads, or the people who actually take the threads seriously? Its really up in the air for me, all I know is I haven't celebrated this holiday since the 3rd grade and I was reminded of why today. I'd like to thank the posters for making this achievement possible for me, really, you are all a great commodity to this community. On that note, Id like to take some time to give a nod to some of the threads that didn't make me reach for a bottle of scotch and a handgun: Lebubu - Yours seriously made me laugh out loud despite its obvious simplicity. Thanks for that. LoSS - Man, remember when you guys said it was your birthday? Good times. GGA - Your performance in the VE thread in March was the greatest premature April Fools gag ever. Man, you really got CN good, but Im on to your games. Those aside, I loathe the rest of you. Moving on... Vox, Vox, Vox, Vox and... Vox Its been a busy couple of weeks for our friendly neighborhood freedom fighters/terrorists/apathetic CN players over at Vox, bringing laughs, tears, and looks of amazement all at once. Kicking it back a little ways we had a TWiP/Tattler presentation of some Citadel drama. While this thread wasn't all that revealing (Seriously was anyone actually surprised) it did bring about some seriously great comedic gold. First of all, Vox was reminded at least 100 times throughout the thread that they didn't mention Pacifica at all in the thread. It then turned into a circular fail fest for all sides as they rallied around each other yelling "no u" at the exact definition of "character assassination." We witnessed several posts from Slayer, and co., as well as several Vox members that literally made no sense whatsoever. However, the thread did prove that hypocrisy still runs deep on both sides, as apparently neither have ever committed a wrong doing or attacked someones character. I was unaware that CN was comprised entirely out of angels. But one thing I'll give Vox is they are always where the action is. Sadly, the action seems to bring about the most annoying people. BREAKING NEWS: VANGUARD ARE PIT VIPERS! READ ALL ABOUT IT! (Image by 1S1K_KOLOHE of Athens) However, the tables were turned this week as Vox got the symbolic kick in the nuts from my dear friend mhawk. Just when Vox thought their antics were finally getting to the enemy, TPF busted out its own brew of shenanigans proving that Vox isnt the only one allowed to play mind games with the enemy. The end result was TPF setting up a trap using fake screen shots to catch a spy in their government when the screens were leaked. Looking back, they were a bit dramatic, but the clever ruse worked none the less. Vox was caught with its pants down and the point was awarded to TPF, something even Doitzel acknowledged with humility. It seemed that the round was over when WAIT! Schatt swoops in with his own tricks claiming that the trap was actually in fact a trap to catch the trappers in a delicate trap! Just when TPF thought that victory was in their mitts it was snatched out because Vox had known of the trap all along and merely wanted to make themselves look silly to prove... well... to prove... that NPO sucks! So take that Mhawk, looks like Vox wins again! Seriously though, I eagerly await another TPF thread stating that they knew their trap was just a Vox trap and thus the whole thing was in fact a TPF trap to trap Vox's trap. Congrats to everyone who posted in those threads, you have been awarded "Stumpy's Medal of Annoyance" for your redundancy, back tracking, and failure to make sense. Also, a special nod to bigwoody who has proven he can post more in a Vox thread saying the same thing over and over again more than any other poster alive. My hats off to you fine sir. (Image done by rsoxbronco of Athens) EZI Is a Thing of the Past... Says Everyone But Those Who Actually EZI This week witnessed a continuation of a trend that started with VE way back when: The open disapproval of the practice of EZI. We saw the creation of a petition which is being completely ignored as well as a step by SSSW18 who announced their bill of rights as well as a policy condemning the use of EZI in general. While this is a great step, it still doesn't mean much as long as the bigger players openly approve of the practice. Maybe one day these kinds of things will actually mean something and exist as more then a hollow shell of an actual agreement. But then again, that would require certain alliances to stop running people out of this game, something they wont give up for "security reasons" (translation: I like being able to decide who plays so stfu). However, still nice to see. Hats off to you guys. Well thats it folks, that the big news this week on our dear Planet Bob. We've had jokes, failures, and more threads than I can count that say absolutely nothing, as well as an astounding level of idiocy this week and I must say I've enjoyed every second of it. I must say I've been impressed by some posters this week like BobJwhatever, who usually posts coherent thoughts (a rarity in these parts), as well as mhawk, who actually didn't sound like a crazy person (my eyes just transfer his words into babble, makes it easier for me to dislike him) and even made a post that is respectable pointing out that any enemy should not be underestimated, a tune quite different from Brandon Something and other TPF posters who apparently care about Vox so little that they troll all their threads, post way too much, and constantly post about how insignificant they are. They do all of this, while creating secret counter op missions and devoting half of their posts on this boards to talking about Vox. Yes, it really does make no sense. Doitzel also came out in force this week, with his usual well thought out posts, despite the fact that they often are about as sensical as the people who he's claiming are nonsensical in the post above him. But what can you do? We are imperfect beings surrounded by idiots on a game where hypocrisy is the way of life. So it goes. On that note, this is Stumpy signing off with "Tips of the Hat" to the memorable moments this week. Shout out of the week goes to... Chickenzilla! Congrats on getting your position in NSO as well as reaching that 3rd birthday. I dont know why I've played for 3 years either. Poster of the Week goes to... Bob_Sanders! Not only did this man say he wanted to delete me from the game but he also was caught saying some pretty meanie faced things to jerdge by "The Tattler". Keep on posting Bob My Boy, you know I still you! Hats off to you good sir! (Image by rsoxbronco of Athens) Treaty of the week goes to... MK-Gramlins on their excellent FA work! Congrats guys! Worst Thread of the Week goes to... Valhalla's Embassy Clean-Up! Seriously, worst April Fools thread ever. I didn't even crack a smile. Greatest "If Only" Moment goes to... Gramlins and TOP merging! Seriously, I'd cry if it were true. Joke of the Week Mhawk's sick burn on Vox Populi. Also, GGA. Thread this week needed... More GGA. Funniest back tracking moment... Vox! Seriously, you guys got caught with that little TPF move, claiming otherwise just looks silly. Edited April 1, 2009 by Stumpy Jung Il Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groucho Marx Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 So stumpy hates me? Cool. I can live with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Amazing OP. Thank you Stumpy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshuaR Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Not bad, and maybe I can stop reading the forums and just read this if you keep it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackSkellington Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 I found the OP to be extremely enjoyable. As always, I love your posts Stumpy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
President Obama Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 I like it a lot. And IRC interviews will probably work in very well also. The card images are great. Great Job Stumpy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agafaba Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 (edited) Awesome, I liked the cards too. Hopefully there will be more posts and a future card game. EDIT - If we are supposed to avoid threads between the 31st and the 2nd how are we supposed to read this? Edited April 1, 2009 by agafaba Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azrael Alexander Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Nice read, I hope you will be doing regular issues Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ejayrazz Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 I really enjoyed this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doitzel Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 The coveted Bob Sanders card! I have searched for ages! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keve69 Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Very nice , loved it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vilien Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 I'd like to see more of these fine publications. Good work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heracles the Great Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 (edited) Great read - Thanks EDIT - shouldn't this go in OW, not AA? Edited April 1, 2009 by HeraclesTheGreat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Jackson Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 RAD post, my friend. B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookavich Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Nothing is going down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sithis Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Just when TPF thought that victory was in their mitts it was snatched out because Vox had known of the trap all along and merely wanted to make themselves look silly to prove... well... to prove... that NPO sucks! This is great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lebubu Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Lebubu - Yours seriously made me laugh out loud despite its obvious simplicity. Thanks for that. Some people in the game still appreciate quality material. All is not lost. I try Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhawk Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 One day I'll get my own card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stumpy Jung Il Posted April 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 One day I'll get my own card. We actually have one in the works... check in next week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ejayrazz Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 (edited) Wtf. I want a card. The dudes who believe in civility, logic, and respect never get their own damn cards. I hate you all. ;[ In all seriousness, keep this up Stumpy. Please. Especially the cards. And possible battles. Edited April 1, 2009 by Ejayrazz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kryievla Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Awesome, Stumpy, I enjoyed it immensely Needs moar cards Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Virginia Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 (edited) Rebel Virginia is not amused at the lack of Rebel Virginia. I thought better of you, Stumpy. Other than that, nice read. Edited April 1, 2009 by Rebel Virginia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Style #386 Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 Definitely awesome. Keep up the good work, Stumpy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammykhalifa Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 This is fun. Tastes great, but is good for you too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonathan Archer Posted April 1, 2009 Report Share Posted April 1, 2009 read stumpy. That was great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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