Kzoppistan experiences unprecedented growth

[Kzoppistan]

Kzoppistan experiences unprecedented growth. You know where.

This just in from the desk of the Ministry In Service of Information, or for the sake of brevity: MIS-INFORM.

We bring this report live to YOU, the viewer at home!

"Unprecedented National Growth"

Relaying this information, Mr. Mofo, the current Acting Honorable Officer of Liaison Engineering, or A-HOLE, is quoted as saying: "Look here." and pointing at a graph he provided.

As the A-HOLE accurately demonstrated with a point of his finger, the Nation's strength has indeed DOUBLED in the last month.

When pressed for a comment in his office, the President, Mr. Otingocni, is reported as saying, "What?! This is a place of Government Business, can't you see I'm trying to take a nap?" But later agreed to an interview where he announced that this astounding development deserved a holiday.

"It'sa HOLIDAY" he shouted and jumped on the desk. When asked how His Excellency planned to mark the holiday he stated that first he would lift the ration on wine consumption and immediately popped the cork on the bottle hidden under his coat. "I'll start" he added. The second order of business, as a show of compassion, was to order the release of all the Nation's prisoners into our neighboring nation's beautiful countryside.

It's now official, since the growth of Kzoppistan reached double its strength in a mere 30 days, this holiday will be called: The Holiday to Celebrate the Day of Double Penetration Deep Into the Rocky Crag of the National Strength Charts. Some hipsters are already calling it THCDDPDIRC day, and others, simply DP Day.

The people rejoice! Even now, Celebrations abound in the street! The people are drunk on wine and dirty with soot, but happy. Many plan to organize grand events for the remainder of the day but since the Nation's technology still only ranks on the charts at 50, these festivities consist mainly of throwing illegal firecrackers at stray animals and watching rocks fight.

Still, this momentous occasion will be remembered by all. Particularly by our neighbors.

Edited March 30, 2009 by Kzoppistan