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Molon Labe Breaking Bulletin News


Zephir
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Aliens Make Deal with Molon Labe!

Today, an alien ship, closely resembling the alien ship that visited the Molon Labe MoFA a month prior, was seen above 9mm Heaven City again, this time apparently to trade cargo with Molon Labe's MoFA. Large metalic crates were seen being lowered from the UFO by unknown mechanisms onto large trucks which drove away with the mysterious cargo. More trucks drove up with cages full of noted anti-gun lobbyests and were abandoned by their drivers.

Noted anti-gun lobbyest Sandra Bradley had this to say from within one of the cages.

"They're gonna trade us to the aliens for alien technology and weapons! I think they're going to dissect us to learn about human physiology or something! But more importantly, they're going to give Molon Labe weapons which they could defend themselves with! And I just can't stand for that kind of thing! Oh shi-"

The trucks were then lifted into the alien spacecraft via some unknown method, perhaps the same as was used to lower the cargo crates.

Local gun aficionado Ron Perlestein had this to say about the situation.

"I can't believe we'd stoop so low as to trade annoying anti-gun nuts for weapons," he says, shaking his head. "Though I will admit, the town square is a whole lot quieter and less annoying now."

Local coffee shop owner Les Norman had this to add.

"I'm going to go out of business now," he says, crying into his hands. "Those anti-gun nuts made up 90% of my patrons! How will I overcome this loss?"

In other news, crowds, celebrating the removal of some of the most annoying residents of the city, congregated in town square to drink, dance, and shoot off their guns. The death toll is already in the hundreds.

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I think I will go target practice in celebration of your successful contact and trade. I also congratulate you in your ruthless and successful capitalist ventures, but I can not help but feel sorry for the aliens.

Cheers

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I'm the aliens.

This technology was actually the 9x19 cartridge. Poor guys had been using .45 ACP... No wonder they couldn't kill anything.

And they kept asking why my AR-15 doesn't ever jam whereas theirs are constantly doing it. Turns out they hadn't been cleaning theirs.

I just ended up giving them AK-47s instead.

Edited by ElCid
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