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ADI Introduces The Balde Economy Car


Il Terra Di Agea
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"New from Armed Diplomats International Motors, the Balde!"

Balderendercopy.png

"An car for the huddled and irradiated masses. In these times of nuclear fallout related strife in the world, people a simple, inexpensive car to get them from A to B, and occasionally C. The Balde is made stronger than most cars on the market today, with it's simple steel frame, solid metal body, and oddly excellent gas mileage, the Balde will do what you need, without bankrupting your family."

The announcer waved his arm over his head, and two car doors slowly lowered down from the ceiling.

"You see here a door from a Balde, and a door from another economy car, that will remain unnamed. Now, you'll want to pay close attention here. Hummel!"

"Yes?" Hummel muttered as he walked on screen.

"You see this car door here, kick it."

"What?"

"Kick the door."

"Alright..." Hummel said, before kicking the door, caving the flimsy metal on the outside.

"You see how it collapses, after one hit, and from a person no less! Now Hummel, kick this one," The announcer said, now pointing to the door from the Balde.

"Sure thing," Hummel said as he kicked the second door, square in the center. It took him a moment to realize the jab of pain that shot up his leg. "Holy crap! Joe, what was that! AHHHH! You broke my #^$#&%$%^&%^ toe!"

"Look now, the door is barely damaged, save for a little ding, and a scratch."

"AHHHHH God man that hurt!!!"

"That is because of the Balde's specialized safty system. The body is specially made to only collapse as a crumple zone when the pressure is spread out. That way, deep dents from minor accidents are a thing of the past, saving you your well earned money."

"Now, how much would you expect to pay for a car like this? 7,000$? 5000$? Well, you're dead wrong. The Balde is now for sale at the low price of 3450$! With our specialized methods of construction, and complete lack of externally purchased good and middle men, the car is only 3450$!!!!!! It's a %^$#ing steal! Buy this car, now! You want it!!"

The announcer began to turn red as he shouted about how fantastic the Balde was. Suddenly, though, he collapsed to the ground, still mumbling "Buy... now... BALDE!"

After a brief moment of silence, footage of the Balde in crash tests and speed trials began to play, beneath soft rock, and banners describing the Balde's performance, and saying you are mean for think that it's ugly.

OOC: God, I love sketchup...

Yes, buy it now, you want to, despite it's ugly, you want to drive it through a cinderblock wall, and emerge unscathed :awesome:

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OOC: Damn you and being awesome at sketchup! ARRGGG!

IC: After GTI buys acouple and attempts to test-drive them...

Our testers broke theirtoes & feet legs shortly before testing, so we will not be buying very many of these. We would like to know if you'd liek to redesign our tank with these improvments, however.

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Okay, you've convinced us! The Provisional Government would like to purchase 5,000 of these fine cars. :awesome:

That will be 17,230,000$, and a ship has been loaded with 1000 for your first delivery, expect the rest in the coming days.

OOC: Screw pretty-looking cars.

Sturdy and reliable is what's needed. :awesome:

IC: Several of Canada's citizens have voiced their intent to buy one of these cars. We'd like a delivery of roughly 10,000 of them for those who want it.

OOC: That's exactly the mentality I was trying to raise :awesome:

IC: That would come to 34,500,000$, but due to your large order, you get a .0825% bulk purchase discount, which brings the total to 33,637,500$. 1000 are being sent out now, expect the rest before the end of the week.

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OOC: Damn you and being awesome at sketchup! ARRGGG!

IC: After GTI buys acouple and attempts to test-drive them...

Our testers broke theirtoes & feet legs shortly before testing, so we will not be buying very many of these. We would like to know if you'd liek to redesign our tank with these improvments, however.

OOC: You'd be surprised how often Ubie says that :awesome:

(And I occasionally to him)

"Our intelligence agency wants 9000, and one for testing purposes."
We shall purchase 3,000 of these vehicles, the ability to drive through brick walls is very important to our diplomatic corps.
Dranagg is always interested in new metal ice cubes. We would like one. Only one.

We might turn it into a childrens play fort after it freezes in place in the park.

The Commonwealth has found little civilian interest within it's borders for this vehicle, as there are few roads at the moment, but the Government would like to purchase 150 for itself.

All orders are being processed, and deliveries will be made post haste. As for the order from Dranagg, we will throw in thirteen hotplates to hold off freezing as long as possible.

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That will be 17,230,000$, and a ship has been loaded with 1000 for your first delivery, expect the rest in the coming days.

OOC: That's exactly the mentality I was trying to raise :awesome:

IC: That would come to 34,500,000$, but due to your large order, you get a .0825% bulk purchase discount, which brings the total to 33,637,500$. 1000 are being sent out now, expect the rest before the end of the week.

The money's been sent.

We'll enjoy our cars.

OOC:

Sargun: over nine thousand?!

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The simple fact you are still using personal transport shows out dated and inefficient thinking.

"Well, seeing how it was intended for those currently in damaged areas, I would think public transportation would be in too much disorder to help them, and this would allow them to at least get around." -CEO of Mariehamm Arms Company Rebeu.

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Can we custom order these cars? We need military versions of those cars and we will provide the classified info.

OOC: Consider that I sent you the info, I don't have the time to post all of it.

*Private Response*

Through we are somewhat unsure what you're military would need it for, we can have the boys in the ab whip a few up with bullet proofing, and possible weapons in the back seats, but we will require a bit more information as to what you will need.

OOC: Send me a PM when you have some time ;)

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We would liek to know if you can provide us with a new tank, as stated before, with both these design elements and ours.

*Private Response*

The head of our Technology department will be... uhh... away for the next couple of days, but the others in the labs should be able to handle the extra work load. Of course, a bit more information will be needed as to what you will need out of this tank.

OOC: PM or a R&D thread works for me, whichever you want :awesome:

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