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Be not afraid!

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Denizens of Planet Bob, we have an apology to make. We thought we had done our job right the first time, that we had done our part to make sure that the world was safe. We'd gone and made everlasting friends with FOK, a friendship designed to last eons, so that you could all rest safely knowing that you would never have to choose which subtle-innuendo-named alliance you liked better.

And for a while, you were all safe.

Well, turns out that FOK was more fertile than a warren of rabbits fed primarily a mixture of fertility drugs and viagra, and spawned iFOK, once again putting all the world at risk.

Well, we at Fark have a strong sense of duty, and so we had only one real option. I think the good folks at Whitesnake can say it better than I can: Here we go again.


Article 1

We can dance if we want to.

Article 2

2.1 - We can leave your friends behind.

2.2 - Because your friends don't dance.

2.3 - And if they don't dance, well, they're no friends of ours.

Article 3

Both alliances, and their respected members, shall remain free and sovereign of each other. Sovereign in this case does not imply regal or royal, and thusly appellations of ?pretty pretty princess? are to be refrained from unless explicitly invited, in which case, we don't want to know.

Article 4

Neither alliance shall engage in or endorse military action against the other signatory. If a nation is found in violation of this, they shall be required to don the Shameful Apology Hat, and be also required to pony up 150% reparations. Defending nations are required to delay military reprisals until a diplomatic solution can be achieved. Offending nations that refuse to declare peace and/or offer reparations shall be beat about the face in a humiliating manner, in addition to which they will be subject to full military manhandling. Also, they shall be expelled from their alliance and declared a rogue. And not a dashing, Han Solo type rogue, either. A bad and likely very smelly rogue.

Article 5

Neither alliance will engage in espionage against the other. Any member nation of either party discovered to be spying upon the other, whether through deceit, coercion, or other means, will be immediately expelled from their alliance. Should either party receive information that indicates a breach of the other's security, they must notify the other alliance through secure channels immediately. Again, spies in this case are not suave, seductive James Bond types. They are definitely to be grouped with the leering little brother that causes you not to get any because your partner caught him peeking and was freaked out and went home. Spies, in all forms, are bad.

Article 6

Member nations of either alliance may not offer foreign aid to nations engaged in war with the other alliance. Any nation that offers such aid must make arrangements for an offer of foreign aid to the other party, equal to 150% of the original aid to the enemy nation, to be paid after said war is resolved. It is rather difficult to be friendly with someone when you are massaging their hated enemy's nether regions, so to speak.

Article 7

7.1 - Should either party take any aggressive action against any alliance or nation not signatory to this treaty, they may request assistance from the other party. Said assistance is not mandatory, but I imagine it would be greatly appreciated.

7.2 - Should either party come under attack or be the target of hostile actions of any sort, it will be viewed as an attack on both parties, and they are obligated to assist in any means necessary, though that obligation is hardly necessary since both parties admittedly :wub: each other so much. Cake (or pie) shall of course be provided at a later date as a show of thanks.

Article 8

Both alliances and their respective members shall remain civil to each other at all times, especially in public forum. Members are also encouraged to provide aid and assistance where possible to members of the other signatory. Both groups realize that the other has all sorts of really cool people, and their memberships are encouraged to fraternize and, when appropriate, ?party hard? with the population of the other.

Article 9

9.1 - Either alliance may elect to revoke this treaty at any time; in such a circumstance, the other must be granted a forty-eight hours Notice of Intent To Terminate. Furthermore, failure of either party to comply with the terms of Articles III or IV may be considered just cause for immediate revocation of this treaty, at the other party's discretion. Should this treaty be so revoked by either alliance, a seventy-two hour grace period begins in which neither alliance may declare war on the other, after which no such rules apply, unless the terms of Article III or IV have been violated, at which time there is no grace period granted.

9.2 - If the remaining alliance is sad to see the other go, and/or is worried about how they will fare in the world at large, they are entitled to prepare a basket of food, a thermos of hot chocolate, and a warm blanket or shawl to keep the cold out. A tearful farewell is also permitted, withing the limits of dignity and reason.

Signed for iFOK

MikeTheFirst, General Trium

Arexes, Foreign Affairs Trium

Spaarlamp (Roeland), Internal Affairs Trium

Signed for Farkistan

Emperor Norton I, Submitter

CaptainImpavid, Squirrel

Romeroland, Speaker, Totalfark Council

Ackbarican Idol, Totalfark Council

Spanky22, Totalfark Council

WickedJ, Totalfark Council

Dirk Farkly, Sir Not Appearing in This Treaty

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Just one more thing: FARK is seeing double!

Well you'd be seein' double too if you'd had what I had to drink last night with breakfast.

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Well you'd be seein' double too if you'd had what I had to drink last night with breakfast.

I told you numerous times: do not drink out of the toiletbowl!

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there all good. i support this treaty to the fullest

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The dance we do is not of a safe variety.


P.s. iFOK :wub:

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I was wondering when this would be announced.

Hail to both our great alliances!

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Those are the coolest first two articles i ever read. Makes me wanna dance.

Also good luck with the treaty. Im a great fan of both FOK and Fark so i guess this one speaks volumes about your friendship.

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