MrTadpole:NEWS GLOBAL HAS HIT "CHAOS" LEVELS OF INSANITY

[J3rdegree]

TadJr from MrTadpole:NEWS here reporting on behalf of the great people of United Tadpoles. We strive to bring the most unbiased and factual news available to planet Bob.

 

What Has Been Unleashed???

Lollerobot reached out to us in a panic yesterday, as his own charts and numbers have started to show an unprecedented amount of war on planet Bob.
At first it was words of 20% all possible wars declared, then word of nearly 45% reached our desk, and now we have the latest numbers calculating we have reached a 7.6 out of a maximum of 10 on the Lollerobot index.

 

This level of calamity brings the Madlad's Revenge Tour up to contention with the largest global wars of all time!
There are some notable alliances like NG fighting to try and reduce this harm by only having 9 offensive wars. We commend those looking to scale back aggression in this time to avoid full Armageddon.

A Deep Data Dive

 

After receiving the above reports, I attempted to get James Pond, our Intelligence Director, to collect all the information available to provide a report we could send to the public for harm reduction.
Unfortunately, we found him deceased at his post.... exactly where we found my dad 😿
I had to settle for my interns to pump out some more graphs of net damage
Here have some spaghetti: https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/J3aT9/1/
With a side of garlic bread: https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/9cshH/1/
And a glass of milk (extra pulp): https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/nbzDM/2/

We would like to give out an official MrTadpole:NEWS number award to one special alliance who put up the funniest damage number yet.
The competition was tough with runners up like MHA on Nov 10th at -333,330.99, NATO was close on Nov 15th with -68,686.69, but our winner of the first ever MrTadpole:NEWS number award goes to none other than DBDC on Nov 5th with the impressive 420,689 net damage!

Well done to all those competing for best net damage number!

 

The Crayon Corner

We have been diligently collecting data from all sides of the web about which color crayon they like the most. We received a shocking slant towards red, orange, and yellow as the primary crayon of choice. Our researchers found orange, red, and yellow crayons taste the best because of the artificial colorings like Red 40 and Yellow 5. These synthetic dyes are known for their bright, vivid hues, but they also have a sweet, candy-like flavor when combined with the waxy texture of crayons. Red 40 and Yellow 5, commonly used in food and drink products, contribute a subtle sweetness that makes these particular crayon colors seem more flavorful than others. It’s the perfect mix of color and taste, even if it’s all just in your imagination!

 

Bob's Poetry Corner

 

Quote

be rootin, be tootin, by god be shootin, but most of all, be kind 🤠

-Mochi

 

The Funnys

 

 

[probablymochi]

2 minutes ago, J3rdegree said:

Here have some spaghetti: https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/J3aT9/1/
With a side of garlic bread: https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/9cshH/1/
And a glass of milk (extra pulp): https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/nbzDM/2/

 

The Spaghetti Graph is the best graph I've ever seen. This is exactly what I want my taxes to fund.

[Lollerobot]

I love what you did with the absolute chaos that was my last night!

It genuinely made me laugh out loud and my penguin officers asked me who needs to be killed. I told them that it was a laugh of happiness and not annoyance.

[Kapleo]

[J3rdegree]

2 hours ago, Kapleo said:

Out of options?

Looking for a way to make a difference???

Let's get some frogs rolling then!

 

[DavidMustaine]

4 hours ago, Kapleo said:

Its that darn NPO, how dare they defend themselves!   The infidels must burn!  

 

[Bionic redhead]

Big talk for gato, who are losing to literally every alliance they're at war with.

 

But it's still not as funny as being on the side of the alliance that spent years mocking you as the Worst Alliance Ever.

[J3rdegree]

2 hours ago, Bionic redhead said:

Big talk for gato, who are losing to literally every alliance they're at war with.

 

But it's still not as funny as being on the side of the alliance that spent years mocking you as the Worst Alliance Ever.

Unsure where the "big talk" is. If it's in reference to the funnys those are always crowd sourced from across the good friends coalition. If you'd like to have any funnys if your own you are free to submit them!

We also accept paid advertisements of 1 slot of 100t&9m paid to MrTadpole:NEWSs current list of partners (PGS/MU). In return you get one article with final editorial say!

Edited November 25 by J3rdegree

[Gh0s7]

5 hours ago, Bionic redhead said:

Big talk for gato, who are losing to literally every alliance they're at war with.

 

But it's still not as funny as being on the side of the alliance that spent years mocking you as the Worst Alliance Ever.

WAE award goes to Polar tbf. They've been putting in work for that award, and you shan't take it from them.

[HeroofTime55]

Your world revolves around NG.  Props to the activity levels being high enough to send hapless fools to the grinder to keep us occupied.  People are playing this game like they never would have if it weren't for NG.  You're welcome.

Frog Submission:

[firingline]

3 hours ago, HeroofTime55 said:

Your world revolves around NG. 

 

You don't understand why they would mock the complete failure of a 'counter-blitz' strategy that you openly bragged about? The only thing you can figure is that you're just living rent-free in their heads?

Edited November 26 by firingline

[HeroofTime55]

3 hours ago, firingline said:

 

You don't understand why they would mock the complete failure of a 'counter-blitz' strategy that you openly bragged about? The only thing you can figure is that you're just living rent-free in their heads?

From the guy who we've been living rent free-est in your head-est

[J3rdegree]

10 hours ago, HeroofTime55 said:

Your world revolves around NG.

Frog Submission:

Sorry sir I won't compliment NG again.  I deeply and sincerely apologize for any personal harm that may have come from thanking NG for their efforts to make Bob a better place.

 

Nice frog 😁

[firingline]

9 hours ago, HeroofTime55 said:

From the guy who we've been living rent free-est in your head-est

Another quality observation from HoT.

[J3rdegree]

9 minutes ago, firingline said:

Another quality observation from HoT.

To be fair, it's hard not to think about NG as they are somehow managing to only declare 1 more war than GATO, and feel the need to yap about how much better they are all the time.

A lot to think about for sure

[CrinkledStraw]

 

7 hours ago, J3rdegree said:

To be fair, it's hard not to think about NG as they are somehow managing to only declare 1 more war than GATO, and feel the need to yap about how much better they are all the time.

A lot to think about for sure

 

Cite your sources.

I knew this paper was crap.

[J3rdegree]

15 minutes ago, CrinkledStraw said:

 

 

Cite your sources.

I knew this paper was crap.

You seem to be too lazy to even check yourself, so here you go. Looks like some new wars got declared, so now NG has less declared wars right now than GATO somehow.


If you want something more fun too: here is the net damage each day all November. NG only had a grand total of 4 days where they did more damage than received 🤣
Wonder how that compares to the dead inactive alliance who is terrible at war? 🔎🤔
https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/C1Oh5/2/

[kerschbs]

2 hours ago, J3rdegree said:

You seem to be too lazy to even check yourself, so here you go. Looks like some new wars got declared, so now NG has less declared wars right now than GATO somehow.


If you want something more fun too: here is the net damage each day all November. NG only had a grand total of 4 days where they did more damage than received 🤣
Wonder how that compares to the dead inactive alliance who is terrible at war? 🔎🤔
https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/C1Oh5/2/

NG has declared 150 more wars than GATO, has fought 3x as many defensive wars, has done 2.5x more damage than GATO, and has dealt the second most damage out of any alliance on Bob. Oh and our net damage is better also. All despite fighting roughly twice our number of nations in our NS range.

 

NPO and Iron have done an impressive job keeping us staggered, hence the current low offensive war count. However to pretend we’re anything comparable to the dead husk that is GATO is silly. 

[CrinkledStraw]

3 hours ago, J3rdegree said:

*brain worms*

 

This is an idiotic take even for someone from GATO. 

NG has almost declared more wars (241) than GATO has been involved in TOTAL (248). 

 

You've lost any journalistic integrity you had.

[J3rdegree]

54 minutes ago, kerschbs said:

NG has declared 150 more wars than GATO, has fought 3x as many defensive wars, has done 2.5x more damage than GATO, and has dealt the second most damage out of any alliance on Bob. Oh and our net damage is better also. All despite fighting roughly twice our number of nations in our NS range.

 

NPO and Iron have done an impressive job keeping us staggered, hence the current low offensive war count. However to pretend we’re anything comparable to the dead husk that is GATO is silly. 

 

All this cope and you all STILL can't deal more damage than you are taking day over day. 4 days total for the entirety of November is still 4 total days in a whole month that NG managed to deal more damage than taken 🤣
Maybe try and be better at war and you too will be able to start dealing positive damage again! Don't give up hope!
 

 

39 minutes ago, CrinkledStraw said:

 

This is an idiotic take even for someone from GATO. 

NG has almost declared more wars (241) than GATO has been involved in TOTAL (248). 

 

You've lost any journalistic integrity you had.

Not being able to read doesn't mean you are suddenly right. The statement made was "more declared wars right now" and turns out that's true!
I tried to even include some pictures there for you, but I guess that's too hard because there were scary numbers involved😢
 

[J3rdegree]

1 hour ago, kerschbs said:

NG has declared 150 more wars than GATO, has fought 3x as many defensive wars, has done 2.5x more damage than GATO, and has dealt the second most damage out of any alliance on Bob. Oh and our net damage is better also. All despite fighting roughly twice our number of nations in our NS range.

 

NPO and Iron have done an impressive job keeping us staggered, hence the current low offensive war count. However to pretend we’re anything comparable to the dead husk that is GATO is silly. 

Decided to dive a bit deeper in to your cope here, and it only got funnier.

You have dealt 2.5x more damage.... also you have 2x our membership
Your net damage is better..... but getting worse over this whole MONTH while GATO's has been improving over the same timespan
You are fighting roughly twice your number of nations...... both of GATO's fronts have 1.75x our size

It's crazy to me you think GATO is doing bad, and somehow you are doing good, when we are both having pretty similar war performances based on the examples you provided.  Yes NG is doing better overall due to the amazing stagger blowing blitz carrying your stats, but doing marginally better than the husk GATO is really scraping the bottom of the barrel here 🤣

If NG drops below GATO in net damage it'll be a day for the history books.

[DragonsPhyre]

It's okay to be incredibly average at something, Non Grata.

Edited Wednesday at 06:12 PM by DragonsPhyre

[firingline]

15 hours ago, kerschbs said:

All despite fighting roughly twice our number of nations in our NS range.

 

This is disinformation.

 

I ran the numbers, and they have approx. 5-10 more nations in range.

 

The key difference is you thought it would be funny to try to out-blitz NPO, and now you're all staggered.

[Tiberius]

20 minutes ago, firingline said:

 

This is disinformation.

 

I ran the numbers, and they have approx. 5-10 more nations in range.

 

The key difference is you thought it would be funny to try to out-blitz NPO, and now you're all staggered.

It's roughly NPO (131 Nations) vs NG, NATO, CCC (162), and IRON (77) vs NG, CCC, The Wolves (124). When you account for/exclude Nations in PM who are very unlikely to ever leave such as NATO and CCC top Nations. If they did come out of peace mode it would then open up a larger range where it becomes more flipped the other way.

[J3rdegree]

3 hours ago, Tiberius said:

It's roughly NPO (131 Nations) vs NG, NATO, CCC (162), and IRON (77) vs NG, CCC, The Wolves (124). When you account for/exclude Nations in PM who are very unlikely to ever leave such as NATO and CCC top Nations. If they did come out of peace mode it would then open up a larger range where it becomes more flipped the other way.

Woah there partner that's a lot of actual numbers and reason. NG need their emotional support stats that exist only in vague terms in their minds.