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Immediate Containment of Rampant Madlads Disorder


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OFFICIAL DECLARATION OF WAR


Immediate Containment of Rampant Madlads Disorder

To Whom It May Concern in the Madlads Union (if anyone is still lucid over there),

It has come to our attention, as concerned medical professionals of the esteemed New Polar Order, that the condition of your alliance has reached critical levels of lunacy. We regret to inform you that your activities have been classified as a case of extreme "Madlad Syndrome"—a highly contagious and volatile affliction known to spread chaos across the Cyberverse. As defenders of order (and sanity), we have been dispatched in our crisp white coats, armed with tranquilisers, butterfly nets, and straightjackets, to put an end to this madness.

As part of our moral obligation to honour the sacred Doctor-Patient Confidentiality Treaty (referred to in some circles as the NpO-NoR The Second Alta Accords), we have been summoned to assist our fellow practitioners at Nordreich in this delicate matter. It seems they have identified symptoms that though not beyond their control, is not of their choosing and requires a more ice-cold approach.

Let it be known that we, the New Polar Order, will do what must be done. We will lock down the Madlads Union, isolate the infected, and deliver you to the ward of humility, where you'll be met by our finest psychiatrists... and probably a few padded rooms. You may try to resist, but we assure you, our icy precision and expert diagnosis are inevitable.

Expect house calls at odd hours. Don’t worry, we’ve brought extra syringes and are fully prepared for "Madlad tantrums." The Polar Order takes no joy in restraining the delusional, but someone has to save you from yourselves.

Prepare yourselves for treatment. We’ve already sterilised the battlefield.

This will include those who have also been infected by Madlads insanity - Doom Squad and Post Grunge Supergroup.

 


A special letter to the most doomed of squads,

In the frozen, mighty halls of the New Polar Order, we have long gazed upon your name with confusion, curiosity, and no small amount of pity. Doom Squad, you say? Why yes, it seems your doom is indeed not just a name, but a prophecy!

With solemn obligation to our sworn brothers and sisters of Nordreich (who, unlike you, are not doomed), we hereby honour our treaty by offering you front-row seats to your own apocalypse. Please note, you may not survive long enough to ask for a refund.

In what we are sure will be the most lopsided conflict of the century, we, the mighty bears of the North, have sharpened our icicles, prepped our polar armadas, and cranked up our snow machines to blizzard you into oblivion. Prepare yourselves, not for war, but for the inevitable: your long-awaited doom! 🧊💀

We are not monsters, though. We understand it must be difficult, waking up every day knowing you are Doomed. So, we shall do you a kindness and speed up the process.

Let the world know that when it comes to facing the forces of the New Polar Order, it is you who are doomed, squad or not. The outcome was already written in the stars, or perhaps the snowflakes.

May your doom be swift, and may your squad find comfort in the fact that you fulfilled the one thing you were always meant to: getting doomed.


Yours in sanity,

Quantum Leap - Empress and Chief of Surgery
Medic32 - Imperial Regent and Stretcher Fetcher
Kongen - Minister of Plenty and Resident band-aid applier
Dubh - Minister of Truth and Leech keeper
Dendarii Federation - Minister of Peace and Resident Forensic Pathologist
Guus87- Deputy minister of Peace and syringe fetcher
Electron Sponge - nurse Ratched
Dajobo - Padded room cleaner

 

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Edited by Quantum Leap
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11 minutes ago, Caustic said:

Your move, Hershey. 😘

I think we moved more than Polar did lol. It was more of a twitch really

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1 minute ago, Dajobo said:

You can't rush in to medical interventions.

It's been a long time since I've seen you kicking about. Hopefully keeping the wheel from slipping over there. Here's to, hopefully, another good fight. We're in desperate need to stretch our legs

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2 minutes ago, Gh0s7 said:

It's been a long time since I've seen you kicking about. Hopefully keeping the wheel from slipping over there. Here's to, hopefully, another good fight. We're in desperate need to stretch our legs

I couldn't agree more!

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3 hours ago, Caustic said:

Your move, Hershey. 😘

 

Continuing your established precedent wherein you avoid defending the Reich directly I see. Shame really, I was looking forward to the irony of seeing Lenin announce a declaration of war in defense of Nordreich.

 

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Edited by Johnny Apocalypse
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2 minutes ago, Cosmic Chocolate said:

Must of only had 10 white coats on hand. Very unprepared

White coats cost $$ and we are prepping the padded rooms to make things as comfortable as we can for you and your fellow patients

QL

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5 minutes ago, Quantum Leap said:

White coats cost $$ and we are prepping the padded rooms to make things as comfortable as we can for you and your fellow patients

QL

 

We're fine sharing padded rooms, just so you know. I cannot imagine money is that much an issue.

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