nishiyoshi_mha Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 *crackle* BZZZZURRRPPP *crackle* Planet Bob, this is the last remaining Vogon Destructor Fleet Vessel in orbit above, please stand by for this message from Nishiyoshi of the Mostly Harmless Alliance *beep* BLLEESSSHHVVVTT *beep* Hi everyone. It’s been a while. I couldn’t even find my old password, but I really only ever posted about 35 times between 2013 and 2020, so I am using my new account I made as part of my comeback tour. Some of you will make that many posts by the time you finish reading this post. I honestly tried to avoid posting on the OWF over the years because, at times, it seemed like a deep, dark abyss I’d fall into and never escape. I was challenged to see if I could make a post longer than RV, and as a former editor for “Don’t Panic” I don’t really think that’s a fair challenge at all - after all since we all have a lot better things to do than cruise around the forums all day, I’m not going for a short post, I’m going for a long one instead, to paraphrase Mark Twain incorrectly. So why am I making an appearance again? Well, long story medium length, I was stuck in the flagship of the Destructor Fleet at the edge of a gravity well while doing routine highway building and lost most of my crew. By the time I was able to escape, the entire world had changed and about 5 years had passed by - go figure I got stuck in an abyss anyways. The world appeared to have suffered massive radiation damage from years and years of nuclear fallout as the number of nations had cratered by an order of magnitude. My old comms tool, IRC, had become defunct, so I had to upgrade to this thing called Discord. And discord was aplenty. There were other AAs looking to feast upon the remnants of MHA through raids, and I had to beat them back with old towels to see about putting back together what little we had left. Yes, I know this is the wrong Sci-Fi reference, seeing if you’re paying attention Fortunately, I was able to call upon my years of training as a former recruiter, Destructor Fleet Admiral, Minister of Babelfish, Minister of Towels, and was elected as Triumvir in one of the closest elections in our history, winning by one vote (admittedly there were only two votes cast for me in the first election back, no I didn’t vote for myself because I always for abstain; yes I beat abstain by one vote). Once with title in hand, I went about to enact emergency Triumvir powers and reconnect with allies old and new, new faces and some of the same old guards. MHA’s oldest friends welcomed us back with open arms and helped get us back in the swing of things. XX is really a very special bunch and showed immense patience and grace with me – looking at you Fark and Polar (in alphabetical order of course). Also, a very special shoutout to GATO for helping me with the initial Discord life raft. However, little did I know that our AA benefactor and overlord had already set up a Discord years before that was lost to the ethers. The cat was out of the bag by that point though *rim shot* (when I first came to CN years ago, you don't want to know how long it took me to make the GATO / cat association). The ethos and panache of MHA lies within being hoopy and froody. It really carries forward to always knowing where your towel is and sticking together with your friends. The Bob I came back to unfortunately was neither hoopy or froody. Raids did continue and this really started to impair my ability to be a real frood. However, alas, there was light at the end of the tunnel as there seemed to be real momentum to try and establish order once more for a respite. Little did I know that light ended up being a train in the form of this current conflict. This current conflict seems to further exacerbate the disconnect from Old Bob and New Bob, since I was at least hoping to see at least 5 minutes put into fun declarations, CBs, or cancellations, but unfortunately it’s been more vanilla from some sides than watching elderly people watch Lawrence Welk re-runs. There have been plenty of chances for drama on all sides, but very few have been willing to pop out of their fallout shelters and take any risks that might seem really out of the blue. Everyone who knows anything about CN could have predicted all the moves on the chessboard almost to the date when things occur. I hope there are some people who get this reference With all that said, MHA is going to take a first step into the nuclear winter and is providing notification that we are turning in our keys to the beer fridge. We will be leaving XX effective immediately - our 72 hours has expired from our initial notice. We will be retaining our individual treaty with Fark. It is very poignant that it was almost 9 years to the day that former MHA Triumvir Cable who had moved on to Fark, announced the addition of Polar to XX. Polar took a chance on XX back then, and looks to continue to push forward towards the sunset with Fark and RIA. I’ve loved getting to know RIA better since they joined XX and will always have the utmost respect for them, Polar, and Fark. Maybe rebranding to be Tres Equis? This looks sharp and I hope I get a cut of royalties if they keep this. ^ Since you made it this far down the post, I couldn’t just stop here. For step two I’d like to announce a new treaty with NATO. As pretty much everyone knows by now, NATO was considering being a member of XX. I had already signed the paperwork on my end, and if you would have tried to get an annulment from the Vogons after I just got the XX annulment through, you’re talking a minimum of 99 trips to the restaurant at the end of this universe for refreshments and bribes and that restaurant has been closed due to lack of employees. Honestly, it seemed like the only reason NATO wasn’t formally announced was that no one knew where to put them on the old banner. This was one suggestion, so I’m just going with it and cropping and editing selectively for posterity’s sake. End of the day, MHA and NATO like each other and want to stay friends. Full treaty text below. I did tell you that I was going to try to keep you all at the edge of indifference or entertainment, so the third step into the nuclear haze MHA is taking, is a treaty with FTW. FTW has always been one of the primary AAs that routinely stopped by to swap car building stories and say hi. This partnership just seemed natural as every hitchhiker could use a friendly wolf to have by their side. Wolves can always find towels, especially fresh laundered ones. Full treaty text below. So you have now made it through my formal announcement and I am greatly looking forward to reading and agonizing over all the comments below. Please, let me start a few for you: “MHA? I thought you disbanded already?” “MHA? Lol, still dumb and still irrelevant.” “You still have active members?” “How you have fallen.” “Still a paper tiger and a joke.” “Where are all the beer and alcohol jokes and comments? Should we be concerned?” “Really, what are you guys thinking?” MHAil, *BBZZZRRRLLCH* what the… *POP POP POP* did someone put ethanol in the generator tank again… *WHIRRRRRRZZZZ*... anyways, stay thirsty, and froody, friends. tl;dr - MHA is still around, leaving XX, signing NATO and FTW -------------------------------------------------------------------- **bonus content** For a refreshing summer treat, here’s a mixed drink made with Empress Gin. The purple color from the gin is from butterfly pea blossoms added during distillation. Always makes some fun color changing 2oz gin, 1oz of honey lavender syrup (simple syrup works too), 2oz of your favorite lemonade. Shake/mix the syrup and lemonade. Put over ice, and layer the gin on top. Enjoy! Empress Lavender Lemonade | Empress 1908 Gin (empressgin.com) The formal paperwork, love the paperwork - ________________________________________________________________________________________ Devo's DocuSign Treaty for Dummies A week ago Devo told me (Warden) to write up a treaty with no context as to who it was about, so because I’m lazy and feeling somewhat spiteful right now, what follows is that original treaty text, the bolded option in the brackets is what was chosen. Because I was unaware who this was with, anywhere where it says [insert unknown AA here] should be read as MHA. Preamble: NATO and [insert unknown AA here] have decided that we’re going to be signing a [select treaty type here - MnDoAP]. We have long looked upon each other from afar, and have decided it’s better to adventure together in what has until now been a relatively unchanged Planet Bob. Article 1: [Mutual or Optional] Defense NATO and [insert unknown AA here] are [insert text depending on above] to defend the other alliance should they be attacked. Article 2: [Mutual or Optional] Aggression Should NATO or [insert unknown AA here] take aggressive action against another alliance, the other [insert text again depending on above]. Article 3: Intelligence Both NATO and [insert unknown AA here] will agree to share intelligence that pertains to the safety of the other. [maybe insert snarky comment about how intelligence clauses are useless?] Article 4: Cancellation Should either NATO or [insert unknown AA here] decide to part ways, a private [48 or 72 hours] notice is required. Sigs for NATO Signed for NATO Dev0win - Triumvar LennyNKarl - Triumvar / Royal King of NATO SteelersFan - Triumvar Warden - Secretary of Foreign Affairs GearHead - Secretary of Defense Asapliu - Secretary of Commerce Sigs for [insert unknown AA here] Triumvir- nishiyoshi Triumvir- qldvespanut Triumvir- abstain* ________________________________________________________________________________________ Mostly Hungover Wolves: FTW/MHA MDoAP Strangely enough people can buy these towels above Preamble: FTW had been setting off a grand old party for the new Holiday (war declarations are always national holidays with their allies and friends, when they realized they must have had a bit too much to drink. They stumbled across another, Mostly Harmless drunkard, and the two of them hit it off immediately, quickly deciding that they would ride together into the galaxy, perhaps even writing a new guide. Article 1: To Each Their Own Drink Both signatories (henceforth known as Drunkards) recognize the inherent sovereignty of the other, including but not limited to crewmembers, spaceships, and planets. Article 2: So You’ve Gotten Into A Brawl, Eh? Should either Drunkard get attacked and enter a brawl, the combined might of the other shall come to the defense of the other, including but not limited to fisticuffs and extra drinks. Any request shall be responded to in a timely fashion. Exceptions to this clause are brawls warranted by overt antagonizing or another brawler’s obligation. Each Drunkard shall not be bound to defend the other in the event of a chaining brawl, though the right to join the brawl remains optional. Article 3: Fluent in Drunkenese When the drinks are flowing, so do the words. We’re bound to wingperson duty to let each other know when communications arise that’ll impact our games. Article 4: Walk of Shame Should it be determined that the best cure for a hangover isn’t more drinks, either Drunkard can sober up with their head held high for the walk of shame back home and end the party. 48-hour notice shall be given to reduce hangover effects. Signed on behalf of FTW: Dark Lord Sauron, The All Seeing Monarch Taco, Hand of the King and Resident Taco Velocity, Regent, Lord of State, and Occasional Deep State Agent Joseph Black, Deputy Lord of State and Master of Formality CodArk2, Lord of War and Autocorrect Expect Lord Draculea, Lord of Economic Affairs and Robot Cyrus De Greenwood, Lord of Internal Affairs and Green Wood Smitty256, Lord of GIFs, Honorary Drunk, and Master of Titles Signed on behalf of Mostly Harmless Alliance: Triumvir- nishiyoshi Triumvir- qldvespanut Triumvir- abstain* ---------------------------------------- *yes, abstain finally won an election **formatting this post was a bear, and it's a Saturday, so away we go. 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Velocity Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Super glad to have a treaty with my harmless friends on paper after like two years of messing around in our embassy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyanna Mormont Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Congratulations to our friends in FTW and NATO, I am very excited to get to know MHA! This is awesome. @nishiyoshi_mha I love Blues Clues so much and when Steve did that, I legit cried. 😭❤️🥰😭 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caustic Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 I never really got to know MHA in all the years that I've been here. Apparently that was a mistake since you seem to have more testicular fortitude than pretty much anyone left in CN. Respect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilweirdward Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 So much bold font! MHA, you deserve so much credit for this. No matter the outcome, this takes courage that few left in Bob could even dream of, much less have. Massive kudos! Also, of course, congrats to FTW and NATO! o7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joseph Black Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Hitchhikers, As the Minister of Formality I must say this post exceeds my wildest dreams. No matter where this goes from here, you have won the DoW of the year! Sincerely, Joseph M. Black Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamthey Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 2 minutes ago, Joseph Black said: Hitchhikers, As the Minister of Formality I must say this post exceeds my wildest dreams. No matter where this goes from here, you have won the DoW of the year! Sincerely, Joseph M. Black I think you just spoiled the next thread they are posting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EaTeMuP Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 I hate to see you go. Congrats on the new friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joseph Black Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 6 minutes ago, iamthey said: I think you just spoiled the next thread they are posting. Iamthey, Given the blitz we've been having and the.... DoW quality, RV's aside, if nothing new follows they still win. Sincerely, Joseph M. Black P.S. I do most eagerly await anything new anyone wishes to share Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Maximus Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 1 minute ago, Joseph Black said: Given the blitz we've been having and the.... DoW quality, RV's aside, if nothing new follows they still win. I take offense to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sauron Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Here is to a great new friendship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smitty256 Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Nishi, I can't tell you how happy this makes me. I can not wait to see how our new found friendship blossoms into something beautiful. -Smitty P.S. I love the name of the treaty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joseph Black Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 (edited) 6 minutes ago, James Maximus said: I take offense to that. My friend, The gif was on point. Your oratory was short and the use of graphics limited. I would say a solid 6/10 Sincerely, Joseph M. Black P.S. You joined wrong group. Joined WUT, not CoaLegion Edited July 10, 2022 by Joseph Black Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vaegir Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Worth the read start to finish. I didn't get a single non-Blues Clues reference and I loved it all the same. Congrats to MHA/NATO/FTW! It's like a Freehold of Mostly Harmless Wolves formed a Treaty Organization. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Virginia Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 I can't say I expected this, but I am glad to see it nonetheless. Seems you'll be spending the final days of Bob in style. Welcome to the resistance, MHA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mogar Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 I don't think I have been this proud of MHA in years, I am glad to see XX is not simply a Polar extension. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warden Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Always happy to welcome new friends! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canik Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Welcome, MHA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A1ph4 0m3ga Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Congratulations to our friends in FTW and NATO on their new friends in MHA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
One Eighty Two Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Congrats on the new treaties! This round of Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters is on us Sorry to see you leave XX, but I understand. Glad we still have our original tie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dev0win Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 @nishiyoshi @nishiyoshi_mha I can't say enough how great it has been working with you throughout this series of events. Thank you for standing with NATO and FTW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rabonnobar Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Congrats on the treaties and well wishes on the XX departure. Nuclear winter ftw. o7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dajobo Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 This is what I call leadership! o/ MHA and o/nishiyoshi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonyk5 Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 woooooooooooooo more little frens Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerdge Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Thank you for the multiple updates! I'm happy to see that my ancient home is still inhabited, and I confess that my towel is still ready and efficient (one never knows). May you always remain hoopy and froody, MHA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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