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The best bits of the war that dane0 started so far.


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There was this moth.  A very genuine moth.   One day he flew into a podiatrist's office.

 

"What can I do for you, Sir?" asked the podiatrist.

 

"I have been accused of horrible things." Said the moth.  "I have tried to avoid ANY sort of conflict in all my life.   I have sought to be a good moth and focus on the things a good moth should do.  Yet circumstances make it impossible to do that."

"Sir.", Interjected the podiatrist.

"My family hardly knows me these days." Continued the moth.  "My son Piotr has no respect for me as I am a shell of the man I once was and want to me again.   He is a good son but his ideas of masculinity do not come from my example."

"And my wife, Jasminka - she simply tolerates me and I would not be surprised in the least if she had a secret lover. She deserves such admiration and I... I cannot satisfy her as I should."

The podiatrist managed to get in a word. "Sir, why are you here?  I'm a foot doctor." 

 

"I see."  Said the moth with a surprised look on his face.   "I suppose it's just because you left the light on."

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On the subject of the war:

Quote

To: Duderonomy  From: Unknown Sender    Date: 6/8/2021 11:56:03 PM

Subject: Spy Operation Attack

 

Message: A spy operation has been launched against your nation. The attacking spies were given the following order: Destroy Money Reserves. In the attack your counter intelligence systems prevailed and managed to thwart the attack although we are not sure who launched this attack.

 

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My voice will always be in a 'not too broad, slightly cultured Australian' accent.

 

Yes, I know that seems difficult - if all else fails, go with Chris Hemsworth.  

 

 

 

 

 

or not.

Edited by W_A_R
typo
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12 hours ago, jerdge said:

We should have more threads like this one.

Really brings the community together. I'll make sure I buy a new FSS after the war so everyone can make fun of me again.

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19 hours ago, Schweineschwert said:

There was this moth.  A very genuine moth.   One day he flew into a podiatrist's office.

 

"What can I do for you, Sir?" asked the podiatrist.

 

"I have been accused of horrible things." Said the moth.  "I have tried to avoid ANY sort of conflict in all my life.   I have sought to be a good moth and focus on the things a good moth should do.  Yet circumstances make it impossible to do that."

"Sir.", Interjected the podiatrist.

"My family hardly knows me these days." Continued the moth.  "My son Piotr has no respect for me as I am a shell of the man I once was and want to me again.   He is a good son but his ideas of masculinity do not come from my example."

"And my wife, Jasminka - she simply tolerates me and I would not be surprised in the least if she had a secret lover. She deserves such admiration and I... I cannot satisfy her as I should."

The podiatrist managed to get in a word. "Sir, why are you here?  I'm a foot doctor." 

 

"I see."  Said the moth with a surprised look on his face.   "I suppose it's just because you left the light on."

 

Sir. I have greater understanding of myself, the world, and the game. Thank you. 

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19 hours ago, lilweirdward said:

 

I read this in @Velocity's deep man voice :( 


Ha! Velocity doesn't have a deep man's voice. He's just a baby.

 

 

15 hours ago, A1ph4 0m3ga said:


you know you love us! I read this in my IC southern twang!

 

You have beautiful ooc southern twang. 

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22 hours ago, Schweineschwert said:

There was this moth.  A very genuine moth.   One day he flew into a podiatrist's office.

 

"What can I do for you, Sir?" asked the podiatrist.

 

"I have been accused of horrible things." Said the moth.  "I have tried to avoid ANY sort of conflict in all my life.   I have sought to be a good moth and focus on the things a good moth should do.  Yet circumstances make it impossible to do that."

"Sir.", Interjected the podiatrist.

"My family hardly knows me these days." Continued the moth.  "My son Piotr has no respect for me as I am a shell of the man I once was and want to me again.   He is a good son but his ideas of masculinity do not come from my example."

"And my wife, Jasminka - she simply tolerates me and I would not be surprised in the least if she had a secret lover. She deserves such admiration and I... I cannot satisfy her as I should."

The podiatrist managed to get in a word. "Sir, why are you here?  I'm a foot doctor." 

 

"I see."  Said the moth with a surprised look on his face.   "I suppose it's just because you left the light on."

 

Multi-Fandom ○ Imagine & Things ○ — Werewolf !Arthur Morgan Headcanons

 

Howdy partner, that's a mighty fine story you got there. I don't suppose you have anything on the topic of 'Redemption'? You see, myself and the OP might benefit greatly from such a tale- and she does love her fables, perhaps something on that topic might encourage them to re-assess present circumstances and how they got there. Though I have little faith that they will read between the lines, as I know we have all tried in our own way.

 

I know you are still reading these forums citizenkane; you can keep your money as I sincerely doubt Mochi needs or even wants your assistance. Especially after learning that you 'just went along' during a group discussion to coup him which involved; Tiki; an allied leader and an un-allied foreign leader (who should be grateful that they remain nameless at present :)) with a view to installing you as the leader of COBRA. Kicking you out of the alliance is pretty much the only thing they've done right so far. 

 

As for myself? I can't change what has happened, I can only try to do right by my former comrades on both sides. People who have been afflicted by the consequences of my actions which started the chain of events months ago, culminating with the present scenario.  When I heard of the actions taken by my former associates to 'avenge me' I won't deny I was somewhat flattered that my friends would go to such lengths on my behalf.  However, things are never that simple and while the intentions of some were pure? The intentions of others were far from being so. Instead my name was nothing more than a convenient rallying cry for them to pursue their own vendettas and bury their intentions in my absent coattails. I wish there were enough expletives to relay how repulsed I am at this but there aren't so I'll leave it to your imaginations.

 

So I'll just make one thing crystal clear;  I did not ask anyone to avenge me. Hell, if I wanted revenge? I'd embark on that fools errand to get it myself, I don't need other people to fight my battles- especially one I didn't even ask for. Instead of revenge I opted to make amends with those who I have wronged, something I should have done bloody ages ago, long before this utter omnishambles started being co-opted by other people for their own ends and spreading faster than the speed of light into other corners of the internet which I frequent and ultimately causing a great deal of frustration and hurt for my friends.

 

I cannot speak for the other alliances in Boognish but I do know that the membership of COBRA are being mislead and told this war is being fought purely to avenge me. They are not being shown the full picture by the leadership, from what I gather they're lucky to get any kind of information or contact from high command.

 

To the current government of COBRA: Be honest with your people, lift the veil you use to conceal the reality of things and do right by them. If you don't? I will. They are fighting this war 'for me' afterall and if I don't want revenge then what exactly are they fighting for? If you deny them the full context then I will provide it freely and give them the chance to make a balanced judgement call instead of one built on half-truths.

 

To Boognish: Disband. The house I helped to build for us all (not you TFO) has morphed into a monstrosity that is beyond recognition. What was once a banner for us to stand proudly under in defense of our independence is now a distant memory that has long outlived its original purpose.

 

Disband. Vengeance is an idiot's game and you have lost it.

 

------

wait nvm disregard that massive wall of text, what I meant to say was props to @dane0for hypnotising everyone into 'defensively attacking' Non Grata to start this war. This is some true galaxybrained 5D chess stuff you pulled on us, well played! :psyduck:

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13 minutes ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

 

Multi-Fandom ○ Imagine & Things ○ — Werewolf !Arthur Morgan Headcanons

 

Howdy partner, that's a mighty fine story you got there. I don't suppose you have anything on the topic of 'Redemption'? You see, myself and the OP might benefit greatly from such a tale- and she does love her fables, perhaps something on that topic might encourage them to re-assess present circumstances and how they got there. Though I have little faith that they will read between the lines, as I know we have all tried in our own way.

 

I know you are still reading these forums citizenkane; you can keep your money as I sincerely doubt Mochi needs or even wants your assistance. Especially after learning that you 'just went along' during a group discussion to coup him which involved; Tiki; an allied leader and an un-allied foreign leader (who should be grateful that they remain nameless at present :)) with a view to installing you as the leader of COBRA. Kicking you out of the alliance is pretty much the only thing they've done right so far. 

 

As for myself? I can't change what has happened, I can only try to do right by my former comrades on both sides. People who have been afflicted by the consequences of my actions which started the chain of events months ago, culminating with the present scenario.  When I heard of the actions taken by my former associates to 'avenge me' I won't deny I was somewhat flattered that my friends would go to such lengths on my behalf.  However, things are never that simple and while the intentions of some were pure? The intentions of others were far from being so. Instead my name was nothing more than a convenient rallying cry for them to pursue their own vendettas and bury their intentions in my absent coattails. I wish there were enough expletives to relay how repulsed I am at this but there aren't so I'll leave it to your imaginations.

 

So I'll just make one thing crystal clear;  I did not ask anyone to avenge me. Hell, if I wanted revenge? I'd embark on that fools errand to get it myself, I don't need other people to fight my battles- especially one I didn't even ask for. Instead of revenge I opted to make amends with those who I have wronged, something I should have done bloody ages ago, long before this utter omnishambles started being co-opted by other people for their own ends and spreading faster than the speed of light into other corners of the internet which I frequent and ultimately causing a great deal of frustration and hurt for my friends.

 

I cannot speak for the other alliances in Boognish but I do know that the membership of COBRA are being mislead and told this war is being fought purely to avenge me. They are not being shown the full picture by the leadership, from what I gather they're lucky to get any kind of information or contact from high command.

 

To the current government of COBRA: Be honest with your people, lift the veil you use to conceal the reality of things and do right by them. If you don't? I will. They are fighting this war 'for me' afterall and if I don't want revenge then what exactly are they fighting for? If you deny them the full context then I will provide it freely and give them the chance to make a balanced judgement call instead of one built on half-truths.

 

To Boognish: Disband. The house I helped to build for us all (not you TFO) has morphed into a monstrosity that is beyond recognition. What was once a banner for us to stand proudly under in defense of our independence is now a distant memory that has long outlived its original purpose.

 

Disband. Vengeance is an idiot's game and you have lost it.

 

------

wait nvm disregard that massive wall of text, what I meant to say was props to @dane0for hypnotising everyone into 'defensively attacking' Non Grata to start this war. This is some true galaxybrained 5D chess stuff you pulled on us, well played! :psyduck:

Pretending that this war is at all about me or my actions towards you at this point is cute. The real reasons for it are well known to anyone who is anyone at this point. Including your allies, who seem to be dropping like flies at this point the second they learn anything about your, tiki, kapleo, Alex, and ck's behavior.

 

Trust me on this one, just quit dude. I handed you a PR win, you got to go out painting me as the big bad. Take your wins where you can get them.

Edited by dane0
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28 minutes ago, dane0 said:

Pretending that this war is at all about me or my actions towards you at this point is cute. The real reasons for it are well known to anyone who is anyone at this point. Including your allies, who seem to be dropping like flies at this point the second they learn anything about your, tiki, kapleo, Alex, and ck's behavior.

 

Trust me on this one, just quit dude. I handed you a PR win, you got to go out painting me as the big bad. Take your wins where you can get them.

 

I know dude, that's kinda what I was getting at here. You aren't the big bad man, that was a tongue in cheek joke at the end. I don't consider this a win in the slightest and I don't want to. I've actually spoken with mochi, caustic and Ly privately (courtesy of caustic setting up a chat between us all) so that we could all make amends and apologies and we can just move the hell on from this mess. Something which was long overdue. I'm sorry your name has been dragged through the mud as a result too.

 

Hell if I wanted there to be a war between us I wouldn't start it on pretenses like this, this is the ugliest !@#$ I've seen in CN in a long long time. I'm advocating on behalf of my former members who are all still under the impression that this war is about revenge for me as a result of your comment, because they aren't being told otherwise by the current gov. Like I said; I don't want revenge, didn't ask for it and sure as hell didn't want my old alliance to burn pursuing it.

Edited by Johnny Apocalypse
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