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Johnny Apocalypse

The Day Today - A Murder of Doombirds

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TpOyhzk.png

Snatching the dwindling baubles of truth from the jaws of apathy to create;

A News.

78RCVu8.png

Tonight's Headlines:

.....

......

("nothing? really? what on earth am I meant to report on then you demented braincrashes!?")

Due to technical difficulties we cannot bring you the headlines yet.

So we will be going over to the Weather Desk for now....

ypnJ3Tz.png

Yellow Weather Warning

- Murder of Doombirds spotted in numerous territories worldwide

- Planetary Radio Silence implicated in the creation of Doombird friendly environment

 

Aside from the occasional routine sweep of old and inactive alliances to check for survivors and the recent conflict between the New Polar Order and Knights of the Round Table, the climate systems of Planet Bob have remained at their usual unpleasantly humid and stagnant levels- similar to the feeling of being sat on by a wet dog on an overly damp day.

 

However, The Day Today meteorological branch started detected unusual weather shifts on the frontiers of the largest and most prosperous nations of Farkistan and the Mostly Harmless Alliance last week. On July 5th, our satellites picked up several large black spots on images of Bob taken from the atmosphere, these spots have been said to be in the shape of an overly ripe and gluttonous fowl. What the images could not reveal was what happened below these spots; a smothering of nuclear bird faeces was raining down and laying waste to those nations affected by this blight.

 

The event was chalked up to a freak occurence by neighbouring allies and the weather system subsided, the murder of the so called 'Doombirds' had moved on with on-lookers claiming to hear cawwing of the word "RAID" on the wind. Unfortunately, a freak occurence this was not.

 

The Day Today (a totally impartial bastion of truth in the dying light of this world) can no longer sit idly by as we witness a recurrence of this weather system, we have a duty to pry your eyes open with toothpicks and bomb your brainbox with facts until you bleed truths.

 

Today the Doombirds have been detected in the airspace of the Random Insanity Alliance, Old Guard, World Task Force and Knights of the Round Table. No announcement has been made from the Doomcave, no declaration of intent, no explanation for their dumping of radioactive excrement.

 

In light of recent events The Day Today has declared a Yellow Weather warning worldwide. The colour coding of our system seems particularly apt considering the widespread inertia from the alliance's immediate allies, no attempt to mount a calculated defense has been made against the climate that has fostered the creation of these bloated monsters. Instead they are seemingly allowed to fly free and decimate people with impunity.

 

One would think that an entity with such tremendous energy would focus it's efforts on immediate threats to its own existence. Instead the squawking inhabitants of the Doomcave choose to rain down upon the smaller alliances, presumably because they are easy targets for their brazen dung flinging.

 

It should also be noted that the Doombirds themselves hold direct ties to the alliance known as CLAWS with some of them holding a dual-citizenship. A notable example of this would be Al Bundy, former premier of CLAWS who recently decided to fly the flag of the Doombirds in their first attack against Farkistan and MHA. This is but one example but it would not be a stretch to suggest that the actions of the Doombirds are implicitly backed by CLAWS (and perhaps by extension their bloc RFI?) and can only be described as an act of state-sponsored terrorism that has been outsourced.

 

Food for thought: CLAWS recently signed a treaty with The Templar Knights, the Doombirds launched an assault on the Random Insanity Alliance- allies of TTK. The Doombirds also launched an assault on Farkistan and Mostly Harmless Alliance, allies of the New Polar Order. If you were the leader of these alliances (maybe you are) what would you do with this information? How should a leader act in the face of an unchallenged and dangerous threat?

 

Apparently the answer is simple: Roll over and die.

 

With such power at their disposal the Doombirds choose to blight the lands of the smaller alliances. Not only do they have great power but also great cowardice, or lack of true ambition. This reporter can recall the finer days of Umbrella where we sought to neutralise alliances that actually had potential to pose a threat to us, none of this lazy swinging bloat around like a wrecking ball against those who cannot (and apparently will not) defend themselves.

 

Until the international community mounts an appropriate response to tackle the climate change choking the planet to death with feathery, disease riddled bird droppings? The Doombirds will succeed in extinguishing all forms of prosperity and life on Planet Bob.

 

The Yellow weather warning is to remain in effect until further notice.

 

The forecast for next week: Dry and salty.

 

That's all from the weather station and apparently The Day Today because that was the headline ("i know they've all been in quarantine for three months but come on this is ridiculous, how do these smooth-brained mouth breathers expect me to work under these conditions.....")

We leave you again with some terrible art created by the children.

Goodnight.

20200718_111057.jpg

 

 

 

20200718_094744.jpg

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20200604_104506.png

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This Broadcast was brought to you thanks to the severed head of COBRA Warlord; 'Mochi' who is orbiting the planet because nobody else can be bothered to pay attention and (I quote) "It's funny watching them all die with their heads up their backsides"

Thanks Mochi.

Thochi.

fig9c-north.png?w=584

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COBRA salutes the NG initiative and we urge other spheres to consider a similar approach, especially if your allies show up on the DBDC war page.

 

20200718-142029.jpg

 

 

 

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My sanctions were at request of RIA.

 

But yes.  This Murder of Doombirds are not the same as when they first formed.

 

Not the same without Cuba, Artigo and Oyababy

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14 minutes ago, Jazzy95 said:

Cobruh2.png

 

There's a world of difference between our raiding and DBDC straight up declaring war against established alliances that have flown flags and banners that pre-date the existence of their alliance and yours. To be clear, I'm not opposed to raiding- I do however find the lack of ambition and lazy use of the power at their disposal to be pathetic. DBDC have the largest nations in game and they can aspire to do no better than have a pop at a few random upper tier nations in old alliances as a 'raid'?

 

Hypothetically; if Knights of the Round Table launched a series of attacks on CLAWS and justified it by saying they were just raiding. Would you accept that as a reasonable justification? Would you agree that they were just 'raiding' and be on your merry way?"

 

And hey, we're just a bunch of pesky micros having a pop at people who might present an even match for us to satisfy the god of casualties. A lot of the time we even become friends on the field and they decide life is better when flying the flag of COBRA.

 

At least there is a method to our madness.

Edited by Johnny Apocalypse

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Jacopo's legacy rears its head.

 

 

Hail Hydra

Edited by Stewie

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 I am professional weather person. Trust me.

 

spot_forecast_map.jpg

 

Light overcast with chance of BURNING.

 Thank you.

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This paper doesn't have any Argent references, so it probably isn't relevant. Is it worth the read?

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7 minutes ago, Tevron said:

This paper doesn't have any Argent references, so it probably isn't relevant. Is it worth the read?

I suppose you join the rest of the neutrals and ignore the disposition of the world. 

 

Otherwise

 

Read the news

Edited by Lucius Optimus

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8 minutes ago, Claude said:

 you are fake news

Claude we don't need to beg for  attention. 

 

We know we have yours 

Edited by Lucius Optimus

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3 minutes ago, Lucius Optimus said:

Who said anything about a 2 headed snake? 

 

20200718_181023.jpg

 

You're giving yourself too much credit...

imageproxybetter.png

 

There are other points to debate about your image, but I just wanted to make sure you had clarification on this one.

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7 minutes ago, Jazzy95 said:

 

You're giving yourself too much credit...

imageproxybetter.png

 

There are other points to debate about your image, but I just wanted to make sure you had clarification on this one.

I mean...

 

Thats just harsh.

 

I would have put that head on Kashmir first.

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31 minutes ago, Claude said:

 you are fake news

 

I see no alternative news source for people to make up their own minds and challenge the unimpeachable reporting of The Day Today. If you won't seize your own narrative don't be surprised when someone else does ;)

 

Unsurprising that this got under your skin, considering you're also a dual member of DBDC and CLAWS govt.

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I'm a OG dual member of DBDC and NG.

 

This thread is hilarious for so many reasons

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34 minutes ago, Jazzy95 said:

 

You're giving yourself too much credit...

imageproxybetter.png

 

There are other points to debate about your image, but I just wanted to make sure you had clarification on this one.

Yes yes Jazzy, 

 

Everyone hates the Entente and its not an actual alliance. 

31ae41b31634e6ad98dd6968e286e464.gif

 

Come up with something else. Call the picture a rush job or something. 

 

...killjoy

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27 minutes ago, Stewie said:

I mean...

 

Thats just harsh.

 

I would have put that head on Kashmir first.

 

You gonna say that to my face, esse?

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8 minutes ago, Stewie said:

I'm a OG dual member of DBDC and NG.

 

This thread is hilarious for so many reasons

 

I remember when Methax and co flew off to lay the first eggs of Doom.

 

Such promising times compared with how the mighty have fallen.

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7 minutes ago, SirWilliam said:

 

You gonna say that to my face, esse?

 

Big love SW

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5 hours ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

TpOyhzk.png

Snatching the dwindling baubles of truth from the jaws of apathy to create;

A News.

78RCVu8.png

Tonight's Headlines:

.....

......

("nothing? really? what on earth am I meant to report on then you demented braincrashes!?")

Due to technical difficulties we cannot bring you the headlines yet.

So we will be going over to the Weather Desk for now....

ypnJ3Tz.png

Yellow Weather Warning

- Murder of Doombirds spotted in numerous territories worldwide

- Planetary Radio Silence implicated in the creation of Doombird friendly environment

 

Aside from the occasional routine sweep of old and inactive alliances to check for survivors and the recent conflict between the New Polar Order and Knights of the Round Table, the climate systems of Planet Bob have remained at their usual unpleasantly humid and stagnant levels- similar to the feeling of being sat on by a wet dog on an overly damp day.

 

However, The Day Today meteorological branch started detected unusual weather shifts on the frontiers of the largest and most prosperous nations of Farkistan and the Mostly Harmless Alliance last week. On July 5th, our satellites picked up several large black spots on images of Bob taken from the atmosphere, these spots have been said to be in the shape of an overly ripe and gluttonous fowl. What the images could not reveal was what happened below these spots; a smothering of nuclear bird faeces was raining down and laying waste to those nations affected by this blight.

 

The event was chalked up to a freak occurence by neighbouring allies and the weather system subsided, the murder of the so called 'Doombirds' had moved on with on-lookers claiming to hear cawwing of the word "RAID" on the wind. Unfortunately, a freak occurence this was not.

 

The Day Today (a totally impartial bastion of truth in the dying light of this world) can no longer sit idly by as we witness a recurrence of this weather system, we have a duty to pry your eyes open with toothpicks and bomb your brainbox with facts until you bleed truths.

 

Today the Doombirds have been detected in the airspace of the Random Insanity Alliance, Old Guard, World Task Force and Knights of the Round Table. No announcement has been made from the Doomcave, no declaration of intent, no explanation for their dumping of radioactive excrement.

 

In light of recent events The Day Today has declared a Yellow Weather warning worldwide. The colour coding of our system seems particularly apt considering the widespread inertia from the alliance's immediate allies, no attempt to mount a calculated defense has been made against the climate that has fostered the creation of these bloated monsters. Instead they are seemingly allowed to fly free and decimate people with impunity.

 

One would think that an entity with such tremendous energy would focus it's efforts on immediate threats to its own existence. Instead the squawking inhabitants of the Doomcave choose to rain down upon the smaller alliances, presumably because they are easy targets for their brazen dung flinging.

 

It should also be noted that the Doombirds themselves hold direct ties to the alliance known as CLAWS with some of them holding a dual-citizenship. A notable example of this would be Al Bundy, former premier of CLAWS who recently decided to fly the flag of the Doombirds in their first attack against Farkistan and MHA. This is but one example but it would not be a stretch to suggest that the actions of the Doombirds are implicitly backed by CLAWS (and perhaps by extension their bloc RFI?) and can only be described as an act of state-sponsored terrorism that has been outsourced.

 

Food for thought: CLAWS recently signed a treaty with The Templar Knights, the Doombirds launched an assault on the Random Insanity Alliance- allies of TTK. The Doombirds also launched an assault on Farkistan and Mostly Harmless Alliance, allies of the New Polar Order. If you were the leader of these alliances (maybe you are) what would you do with this information? How should a leader act in the face of an unchallenged and dangerous threat?

 

Apparently the answer is simple: Roll over and die.

 

With such power at their disposal the Doombirds choose to blight the lands of the smaller alliances. Not only do they have great power but also great cowardice, or lack of true ambition. This reporter can recall the finer days of Umbrella where we sought to neutralise alliances that actually had potential to pose a threat to us, none of this lazy swinging bloat around like a wrecking ball against those who cannot (and apparently will not) defend themselves.

 

Until the international community mounts an appropriate response to tackle the climate change choking the planet to death with feathery, disease riddled bird droppings? The Doombirds will succeed in extinguishing all forms of prosperity and life on Planet Bob.

 

The Yellow weather warning is to remain in effect until further notice.

 

The forecast for next week: Dry and salty.

 

That's all from the weather station and apparently The Day Today because that was the headline ("i know they've all been in quarantine for three months but come on this is ridiculous, how do these smooth-brained mouth breathers expect me to work under these conditions.....")

We leave you again with some terrible art created by the children.

Goodnight.

20200718_111057.jpg

 

 

 

20200718_094744.jpg

image0.jpg

 

20200604_104506.png

image0.jpg

image0.jpg

 

image0.jpg

 

 

This Broadcast was brought to you thanks to the severed head of COBRA Warlord; 'Mochi' who is orbiting the planet because nobody else can be bothered to pay attention and (I quote) "It's funny watching them all die with their heads up their backsides"

Thanks Mochi.

Thochi.

fig9c-north.png?w=584

 

Another fantastic edition of "The Day Today." Well done, Johnny. Hopefully we can get more editions more frequently.

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