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Johnny Apocalypse

Broadcasting live from The Garden of the Numb

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Live footage from The Day Today Turtle-mobile:

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Now fact me 'til I fart.

Tonight:

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The Void (finally) shouts back: Non Grata 'at war' with most of the planet

Oculus' Stock value plummets upon becoming "Target Rich Environment"

 

For the first time in recent memory, the slumbering planet we all know and hate (in our own ways) has seen a surge in activity in the public domain. This initially was a result of the re-animated army of undead Non Grata and their growing army of fighters willing to join the charismatic leader's cause. Now more recently, the entrance of 1/3rd of the world's leaders against the forces of Non Grata, having awoken angrily from their peaceful pixel farms at the sight of refugees from the Freehold seeking shelter.

 

Like a furiously groggy and clumsy giant, the combined forces of Oculus (spearheaded presumably by the NPO) summoned forth alliances from all corners of the world to join them in blacklisting Non Grata as a mere band of rogues. Now, they are indeed a band of rogues but this should come as news to nobody, many have considered Non Grata a friend in their long history for this very reason. They have always provided this planet movement whenever there is inertia, as observed by Jerdge recently they are, in a sense, the belligerent neutral of this world (every yin needs a yang). You may not agree with their destructive ways but can you truly deny that you are not enjoying this? Is this not what we exist for? - If however, this is not what you exist for (even if only to watch from the sidelines) this journalist has some advice: Immolate yourselves from this plane. If you want to be a farmer and not a leader; there are other worlds for that.

 

And now some music:

-----

"I'd kill you were I given half a chance,

Yes I'd like to see you burning while you dance,

You make every atom in me want to cry,

You twist every word of truth into a lie,

You're the unmistakable reason for all pain,

Just the very thought of you drives me insane,

 

But I'm fulfilled,

Because eventually time will kill,

The very space you occupy,

Right there at the top of the hill,

In this cold inbred excuse, for a world.

----

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Kashmiri Psychics fashion door for entry to GATO Mental Quarantine - Peace talks resume

"If I come back shaped like a rubber-stamp; someone smash me to bits" - Me.

 

Ever since the paramilitary psychics of Kashmir erected their so-called "Mental Quarantine", the working citizens have enjoyed a brief respite from the near-constant distant sound of bureaucrats braying "RHUBARBRHUBARB" ad nauseum. The sound was soon replaced by the sound of shrieking hounds being freshly skinned; "Like music to my ears" one citizen said. With the mental quarantine now stable, the psychics have fashioned an entrance into the quarantine at the request of myself.

 

"Why in Boognish's name would you risk your sanity in such a way?" I hear you ask. Well; like many of you I decided to get caught up in the frenzy of posting (frenzy by today's standards anyway) and had a few verbal jabs at the leader of the Freehold- we are at war after-all. However, on reflection this struck me as setting a bad tone between us to re-initiate peace talks. So in light of this, I shall be hacking through the mesh of red tape with a machete made from sharpened wolf bones that has already enveloped this entrance and into the hellish bureaucracy world of GATO, for peace.

 

Wish me luck Bob.

 

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Introducing: Speak your Brains

The Day Today will now be accepting anonymous or named personal accounts of events taking place where The Day Today can and cannot be.

All submissions will be considered.

 

 

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Memetic warfare on the rise, RFI rendered powerless

"say sike right now"

 

It would seem safe to say, that the one universal constant we all share is indulging in an abundance of memes. No more so than during a time a of war, as there exists no greater source material to fashion propaganda to savage one's opponents. Until recently, the war between Cobralition and RFI has been relatively devoid of memetic warfare and despite General Kanabis' valiant efforts, there has been a notable lack in any memetic reciprocation from RFI intelligence agencies. This journalist can only speculate as to why that is; lack of creativity? lack of activity? lack of ambition? Who knows.

 

Along with the carnage of the added front of NG/NPO (and their swaggering sacks of festering meat) this escalation has brought with it another surge in memetic warfare. These images are applied directly into the opponents skull and studies have shown a dramatic increase in "BAWW" and "REEEE" levels in the the victims blood. As these chemical levels begin to peak, the victim is rendered powerless and compelled to blurt out a series of vaguely incoherent and often contradictory remarks in a desperate attempt to debunk the image itself. Utterly failing to recognise this effort is a futile endeavour and that the only mode of response is to reciprocate in kind and hope to Boognish that it is at least funny, if not on message.

 

Some recent examples:

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Tonight's featured song can be found here (disclaimer for babas: Bad Words!)

That's all for tonight:

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Sod off.

 

 

Edited by Johnny Apocalypse

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4 minutes ago, Lucius Optimus said:

This was but half the suggested content this edition lol

 

Next time maybe 

 

Great edition Johnny 

 

I'm doing an information stagger ;)

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14 minutes ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

 

I'm doing an information stagger ;)

With all the fake news going around that's the BEST kind of stagger!

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I always enjoy these readings, again I can't thank you enough for them.

 

I even got featured! If I am not mistaken the last time was with The Tattler... which shows how irrelevant I am of course.

(For you youngsters: The Tattler's times is more or less the CN equivalent of "before the dinosaurs' extinction".)

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3 hours ago, jerdge said:

I always enjoy these readings, again I can't thank you enough for them.

 

I even got featured! If I am not mistaken the last time was with The Tattler... which shows how irrelevant I am of course.

(For you youngsters: The Tattler's times is more or less the CN equivalent of "before the dinosaurs' extinction".)

 

You're quite welcome, anything for an old-timer like myself. I'd forgotten about the Tattler until you just mentioned it wasn't that Doitzel? That takes me back to before I was fossilized and subsequently re-animated!

 

 

2 hours ago, Lord Hitchcock said:

Where have you been my whole CN career? - great read Johnny

 

Dreaming in my house at R'lyeh

 

Resuming meme offensive:

 

RFI-rush.JPG

 

 

Edited by Johnny Apocalypse

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4 hours ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

I'd forgotten about the Tattler until you just mentioned it wasn't that Doitzel?

Electron Sponge. 🙂

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5 hours ago, Lucius Optimus said:

20190806_090427.png

 

Meme offensive has begun 

Be careful, Non Grata has an actual copyright claim when it comes to you taking credit for their actions. They're known to be overzealous over their intellectual capital like: the yin yang symbol, the colors black and white, the icon of the dragon, and even rectangular flags.

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9 hours ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

 

RFI-rush.JPG

 

 

 

DeathAdder told me LoD will be presenting me a gold star sticker for my outstanding achievements against @rabonnobar  so it seems to have worked.

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4 hours ago, Tevron said:

Be careful, Non Grata has an actual copyright claim when it comes to you taking credit for their actions. They're known to be overzealous over their intellectual capital like: the yin yang symbol, the colors black and white, the icon of the dragon, and even rectangular flags.

Except that I gave them credit. 

 

 

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4 hours ago, Tevron said:

Be careful, Non Grata has an actual copyright claim when it comes to you taking credit for their actions. They're known to be overzealous over their intellectual capital like: the yin yang symbol, the colors black and white, the icon of the dragon, and even rectangular flags.

 

Non Grata, fun police :war:

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2 hours ago, James Spanier said:

 

DeathAdder told me LoD will be presenting me a gold star sticker for my outstanding achievements against @rabonnobar  so it seems to have worked.

 

I expect you'll get a pat on the head and an "Atta boy James Spaniel"

 

They may even scratch behind your ears if you can get on your hind legs!

Edited by Johnny Apocalypse

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3 hours ago, Lucius Optimus said:

Except that I gave them credit. 

 

 

Sorry, I didn't see the top image's text -- my bad! Still, keep an eye on your jimmies, these are known rustlers.

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8 hours ago, Tevron said:

Be careful, Non Grata has an actual copyright claim when it comes to you taking credit for their actions. They're known to be overzealous over their intellectual capital like: the yin yang symbol, the colors black and white, the icon of the dragon, and even rectangular flags.

Did you look at the meme? It literally says NG in it...who's stealing credit?

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4 minutes ago, Tankobite said:

Did you look at the meme? It literally says NG in it...who's stealing credit?

See above post. Did you look at the post?

Edited by Tevron

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11 minutes ago, Tevron said:

See above post. Did you look at the post?

No, i'm on my mobile phone.

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6 hours ago, James Spanier said:

 

DeathAdder told me LoD will be presenting me a gold star sticker for my outstanding achievements against @rabonnobar  so it seems to have worked.

 

We're definitely both ~living our best life~ / giving our all in that one, lmao. If only I didn't have to ration my nukes / deployed troops for GAs, it'd be a funner time. Maybe next time, duder.

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22 hours ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

 

I expect you'll get a pat on the head and an "Atta boy James Spaniel"

 

They may even scratch behind your ears if you can get on your hind legs!

Please stop projecting your interests onto me. I only seek stars on the board so I can be this year's Player of the Year.

 

17 hours ago, rabonnobar said:

 

We're definitely both ~living our best life~ / giving our all in that one, lmao. If only I didn't have to ration my nukes / deployed troops for GAs, it'd be a funner time. Maybe next time, duder.

 

I might need to ask Steeldor to nuke me once or something so I can actually enjoy conflict for once. Still, remember that the real war is the friends you make along the way.

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On 8/7/2019 at 4:00 AM, James Spanier said:

 

DeathAdder told me LoD will be presenting me a gold star sticker for my outstanding achievements against @rabonnobar  so it seems to have worked.

 

37joh0.jpg

Gold stars all around! That's real loyalty right thurrr

Edited by General Kanabis

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20 minutes ago, General Kanabis said:

 

37joh0.jpg

Gold stars all around! That's real loyalty right thurrr

Nice meme. No you see GK, when NG escalated and torpedoed the peace deal our sides had negotiated it forced our hand and made the decision for RFI to counter NG for us.

 

However, immediately after that occured IRON indicated they may be acting on it to FTW. I personally took the initiative to reach out to IRON to confirm this, then Pacifica when IRON told me that they were rankled too by NG's actions. At that point I took it upon myself to initiate a group conversation between RFI, IRON, and Pacifica wherein we were let in on their plan. At that point it was agreed for maximum effectiveness RFI would wait. The reason FTW wasn't countering was because they knew this. The reason NPO had most of the attacks was because it was NPO who made the targeting list and naturally claimed a vast majority of the slots by the time the rest of us got to it. Also ODN wasn't on the targeting list at all and took slots that had been otherwise reserved in kind of an 'oops' moment.

 

I know it's difficult to believe, but sometimes waiting and taking time to organize a coordinated response will get you better results than rushing in and potentially making an ass of yourself, such as declaring a war that lasts for five months plus some change that ends up Thanos snapping the very AA you claim to defend, and all but obliterates another member of your coalition (RIP SRA).

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1 minute ago, James Spanier said:

Nice meme. No you see GK, when NG escalated and torpedoed the peace deal our sides had negotiated it forced our hand and made the decision for RFI to counter NG for us.

 

However, immediately after that occured IRON indicated they may be acting on it to FTW. I personally took the initiative to reach out to IRON to confirm this, then Pacifica when IRON told me that they were rankled too by NG's actions. At that point I took it upon myself to initiate a group conversation between RFI, IRON, and Pacifica wherein we were let in on their plan. At that point it was agreed for maximum effectiveness RFI would wait. The reason FTW wasn't countering was because they knew this. The reason NPO had most of the attacks was because it was NPO who made the targeting list and naturally claimed a vast majority of the slots by the time the rest of us got to it. Also ODN wasn't on the targeting list at all and took slots that had been otherwise reserved in kind of an 'oops' moment.

 

I know it's difficult to believe, but sometimes waiting and taking time to organize a coordinated response will get you better results than rushing in and potentially making an ass of yourself, such as declaring a war that lasts for five months plus some change that ends up Thanos snapping the very AA you claim to defend, and all but obliterates another member of your coalition (RIP SRA).

Sounds like a yes to GK's question then!

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