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43 minutes ago, Lucius Optimus said:

Certain realities  are difficult for them to accept 

 

 

And Joe Black....stop signing every post

Please don't stop, for me, that is a personal highlight. 

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7 hours ago, Lucius Optimus said:

Certain realities  are difficult for them to accept 

 

 

And Joe Black....stop signing every post

 

Lucius,

 

The only reality hard for me to accept is that anyone considers you an ally. It simply astounds me how you manage to find relevance.

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

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On 7/3/2019 at 10:17 PM, Johnny Apocalypse said:

Incoming Transmission:

QIrbLBd.png

 

"Hello you."

I am Johnny Apocalypse beaming various words and pictures to you from the Anubian Dove Plains.

This is The Day Today

 

Tonight:

 

mVkXxz2.png

 

Motivated and United by "Strange Beastial Lust"

Despite the ever fluctuating population counts of Cobra citizens; the tale that the Freehold of the Wolves were a bunch of a demented dog lovers has been passed on to each new batch of citizens as they arrive with the construction of yet another round of infrastructure. This piece of folklore has been vague and open to interpretation for some time, until recently with the arrival of recent defector Kal Asharak.

 

Kal approached the Cobra frontline approximately two weeks ago. He was spotted by scouts clenching a blood soaked knife with his teeth and bearing four freshly shorn pelts: "Brothers!" He roared "When I returned to this world I thought these 'men' might be worthy warriors of the North. How wrong I was! These pups have no right to call themselves 'Wolves' - How they wish they could be as powerful as a wolf.....I mean, they REALLY wish it you guys."

Kal reportedly threw the pelts to the ground, doused them in gasoline and set them alight: "I present to you the boiling blood and skin of your foes, now somebody get me another gun! This one's clogged with fur- don't ask." Needless to say, we didn't. In fact, Kal's account to Cobra Intelligence is so graphic that The Day Today cannot broadcast it in it's entirety for legal reasons (and on the grounds of general decency)

 

Xpkn723.jpg

 

International Stagnation - The Never-ending Story

It should come as no surprise to whatever viewers remain out there, that stagnation on Bob is endemic. Almost all alliances have shown a continuous downward trend in overall strength and technological capacity on account of most leaders being too bored to rule their people. The occasional sudden disappearance of nations results in a net gain for the forces of Cobra as displaced citizen counts take up shelter in our ever fluctating borders and infrastructure. Despite our war-torn landscape (our opponents are effectively nuking piles of rubble at this stage) many people find living under our banner far more invigorating than in their former homes, they have even become accustomed to the constant levels of radiation and bathe in the warming glow of each wasted nuclear missile that lands on a pile of rubble somewhere

 

That being said, global stagnation does not necessarily account for the downward trend of our RFI opponents:

dLlaPfT.png

p8MJLFc.png

5h04EMW.png

 

For a coalition at war with a far smaller opponent, one would think competent leaders would be capable of effectively putting down said opponent while simultaneously maintaining upward growth. The above charts would seem to indicate otherwise, for contrast here is an example of the potential for growth when not at war with Cobra:

lF8sPwv.png

 

With that in mind we are left to wonder and ask: Come on guys, this is silly; is it really worth keeping this up just to make a punitive point? Wouldn't you rather go back to hoarding what little resources remain on this planet?

 

Which brings us to our next headline

 

ngoqDgY.png

 

Controlled Demolition for Peace? Nah.

While there have been numerous attempts to reach a compromise with our opponents in RFI, so far they remain about as successful and enjoyable as a jazz saxophonist at your Mother's funeral.

The most recent proposal from RFI involved requiring a number of Cobrastan nations to buy infrastructure to be demolished by RFI as a means of encouraging us to burn our own money. Now, putting aside the fact that this is less desirable than engaging in forced tech deals with our opponents, The Day Today has a number of questions it would like to ask:

 

  • Why must a coalition of RFI's size need Cobrastan to agree to a controlled demolition that they failed to carry out with their superior numbers in the first place?
  • How have they failed to carry out this demolition in the several months this war has rolled on?
  • What kind of threat do we truly pose to the RFI coalition that they feel it necessary to make us deplete our own warchests in exchange for peace?

 

These questions have fairly straight-forward answers for anyone with more than two shreds of grey matter to rub together, but let me just address the last one for the viewing public.

Clearly RFI consider us a major threat, despite their superior numbers even they are aware of their inferior capacity to militarily put us down. In exchange for peace and for the sake of imposing a term to demonstrate their prowess as a victorious force, they ask us to roll onto our tummies so that they may obliterate as much as possible within a set time-frame?

 

We would like to remind the RFI coalition of the old saying: It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.

 

We also welcome RFI back to the negotiating table at any time.

 

1eHzu7e.png

Flag Thieves 'apologise' to Non Grata - Continue to fly their flag

The involvement of Non Grata forces on the Cobra front has been an incredibly welcome addition to our ranks (especially as no one will formally acknowledge hostilities with them) but this humble reporter feels a duty to give something back to our friends in arms.

Those of us who are old and decrepit enough to remember time as far back as the Pandora's Box bloc will recall the military prowess of Non Grata and the appearance of their flag on numerous Declarations of War. However, this flag has been illegally commandeered by the Freehold of the Wolves. The Day Today can report that the leader of the Freehold reached out to apologise to Non Grata for flying their flag, likely as a means of trying to split and disengage them from hostilities- probably one of the few smart diplomatic moves we've seen from the Freehold. Not smart enough to follow through and actually stop flying the flag though. The Day Today would like to present the following alternative for the Freehold:

 

JVJCDMn.png

 

Alternatively, they can always return to their old flag from their former moniker: Fellowship of the Wolves. We realise this flag isn't their own unique design but this recent intercept of a Freehold comms channel might shed light on their lack of creative talent:

 

Hkxq1jj.png

 

The reporter pictured above, Peter O'Hanrahanrahan, has since gone completely blind.

 

 

Those are the Headlines. Happy now?

 

This is Johnny Apocalypse saying "Good Night":

78RCVu8.png

Good Night.

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny,

 

Despite the ridiculous propaganda, you are keeping me thoroughly entertained. Thank you. 

 

-Smitty of the House Stark

Edited by Smitty256
Updated my sign off line

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6 hours ago, Joseph Black said:

 

Lucius,

 

The only reality hard for me to accept is that anyone considers you an ally. It simply astounds me how you manage to find relevance.

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

You can find it to. If you actually play the game instead of complaining all the time. 

 

But you're the do as I say not as I do  type, so I'm not surprised. You could always leave your overmerged,  crowded alliance and actually make a name for yourself instead of just "tool" 

 

Tool: 

::Someone whose ego FAR exceeds his talent, intelligence, and likeability. But, of course, he is clueless regarding that fact. He erroneously thinks he is THE MAN!::
 

Sincerely

 

Lucius the Mad 

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*rocks back and forward on the retirement throne*

 

Back in my day we respected each others' flags..

 

 

0J9dKNu.jpg

 

Time to go to work

 

 

Edited by Stewie

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14 minutes ago, Stewie said:

*rocks back and forward on the retirement throne*

 

Back in my day we respected each others' flags..

 

 

0J9dKNu.jpg

 

Time to go to work

 

 

 

Simon and Garfunkle,

 

You guys fully mobilize and this is going to be fun. Otherwise stop complaining about your songs being ripped off by the new generation you old codger.

 

Sincerely,

Disterbed

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10 minutes ago, Joseph Black said:

 

Simon and Garfunkle,

 

You guys fully mobilize and this is going to be fun. Otherwise stop complaining about your songs being ripped off by the new generation you old codger.

 

Sincerely,

Disterbed

 

If you are going to make a cover joke..

 

Its Simon and Garfunkel and Disturbed.

 

I look forward to making darkness your old friend though :)

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39 minutes ago, Stewie said:

*rocks back and forward on the retirement throne*

 

Back in my day we respected each others' flags..

 

 

0J9dKNu.jpg

 

Time to go to work

 

 

Do you see what happens FTW?

This is what happens:

screen-shot-2013-10-30-at-1-46-48-am.png

 

Also Hi Stewie, long time eh?

 

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3 minutes ago, Johnny Apocalypse said:

Do you see what happens FTW?

This is what happens:

screen-shot-2013-10-30-at-1-46-48-am.png

 

Also Hi Stewie, long time eh?

 

 

 

Hi Johnny!!

 

gran_torino08.jpg

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Time to wander down to the crypts and wake up the rest of the dead...

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7 minutes ago, Caustic said:

Time to wander down to the crypts and wake up the rest of the dead...

I resemble that comment!

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1 hour ago, Stewie said:

 

If you are going to make a cover joke..

 

Its Simon and Garfunkel and Disturbed.

 

I look forward to making darkness your old friend though :)

 

Stewie,

 

Well you guys have the sound of silence down to a science. I'm looking forward to seeing the ride of the geriatric brigade. Any chance you'll break out the old flag and make it an official reunion tour? I'm happy to give it a look over for offensive language for you grandpa.

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

 

 

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1 hour ago, Joseph Black said:

 

Stewie,

 

Well you guys have the sound of silence down to a science. I'm looking forward to seeing the ride of the geriatric brigade. Any chance you'll break out the old flag and make it an official reunion tour? I'm happy to give it a look over for offensive language for you grandpa.

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

 

 

 

It's called that other place.

 

You should try it sometime.

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4 hours ago, Joseph Black said:

 

Stewie,

 

Well you guys have the sound of silence down to a science. I'm looking forward to seeing the ride of the geriatric brigade. Any chance you'll break out the old flag and make it an official reunion tour? I'm happy to give it a look over for offensive language for you grandpa.

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

 

 

 

Says the guy who was ordered to Peace Mode while fighting in a numerically superior coalition.

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14 minutes ago, Lysergide said:

 

Says the guy who was ordered to Peace Mode while fighting in a numerically superior coalition.

 

Lysergide,

 

I had personal matters that I was required to attend too. I'll wait for your point if you arrive at one? 

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

 

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Just now, Joseph Black said:

 

Lysergide,

 

I had personal matters that I was required to attend too. I'll wait for your point if you arrive at one? 

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

 

 

Funny how your story changes after you get called out for it in public.

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5 minutes ago, Lysergide said:

 

Funny how your story changes after you get called out for it in public.

 

Lysergide,

 

My story changed? I was ordered to peacemode because I was busy with domestic affairs. 

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

 

P.S. I'm out of peacemode and quite enjoying my current war. When it's done I'll grab another.

Edited by Joseph Black

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2 minutes ago, Joseph Black said:

 

Lysergide,

 

My story changed? I was ordered to peacemode because I was busy with domestic affairs. 

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

 

If it had been out of game reasons you would have just said so in the first place, not placate the blame as orders from your leaders.

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Dirty-Laundry-Copy.jpg

 

We know your fears.

We see them.

We smell them.

tumblr-o0am2oq-JNj1u51fn2o2-500.gif

 

Your worst nightmare confirmed oh, Dark lord Sauron.

8ae69ebd3d0c9254a0bcf8cdc63df9b1.gif

The dead will rise.

o/ NG

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10 hours ago, Joseph Black said:

 

Lysergide,

 

I had personal matters that I was required to attend too. I'll wait for your point if you arrive at one? 

 

Sincerely,

Joseph M. Black

 

 

I had life threatening amounts of alcohol to drink in the sunshine with the potential for throwing plastic garden furniture at foreigners but I couldn't use peacemode because I was at war. I just ignored my nation for a week and everything is fine. 

Also, is your pretentious habit of signing your posts linked to the personal matter you had to attend to?

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11 hours ago, General Kanabis said:

Dirty-Laundry-Copy.jpg

 

We know your fears.

We see them.

We smell them.

tumblr-o0am2oq-JNj1u51fn2o2-500.gif

 

Your worst nightmare confirmed oh, Dark lord Sauron.

8ae69ebd3d0c9254a0bcf8cdc63df9b1.gif

The dead will rise.

o/ NG

 

 

This is one of the A+ posts.

 

Well done

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Being afraid of NG is the funniest part of this. Not as funny as those who think NG with be their saviors. Just white peace this war and get it done.

Edited by Thrash

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Honestly..  being afraid of anyone in this world is hilarious.

 

 

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3 hours ago, Thrash said:

those who think NG with be their saviors

 

That would imply we need or requested saving.

This is the end and we won't be going gentle into that good night.

 

 

 

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