Walshington Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 And away we go. We haven't really thought this through. Haven't been paying attention. Maybe it's because, when no one's looking, we routinely dress in Jimmy Page-style dragon and poppy suits: And we ROCK that $#!%.Maybe it's because, when I was 50, I had a midlife crisis and bought a brand new '85 Pontiac Lex Quintus:She smelled like ass, but God how I loved her. Maybe it's just because we met The Kashmir in war, realized how awesome they were, and for that reason alone, we have their ass now. But who in the hell is our target?CLAWS ?Is CLAWS in this? I think I read somewhere they were. Nah, it's not CLAWS -- that's @Randalla's outfit. We've had a soft spot for her since The Apparatus. Once you've seen her in the top hat, goggles and gear encrusted bustier, you don't get over it. We're not hitting that. (I mean, we'd TOTALLY hit that -- what I'm saying is, we won't DoW that.). Hope this doesn't make @White Chocolate too jealous. We got a thing for you, too.LEGION? Nah -- been there, done that. For the record, we didn't find them to be LOLegion at all. The one's we fought fought well. But we have that tee-shirt. LoSS?For God's sake no -- they're treaty partners for cryin' out loud! We're assES, not ass#*!#$! Which leaves... FREEHOLD OF THE WOLVES Don't really know you. Never fought you. Never seen you in a bustier, top hat and goggles. Looks like it's you. Now, @Canik, I would LOVE to leave you with a threat like "You have awakened a sleeping giant and filled him with a terrible resolve!" But, by now you may (or may not) have noticed our "blitz," and realize that, at best, you've somewhat poked a comatose midget. Which yields a lot better results on Pornhub.com than it does here on the CN Forums. Nevertheless, you are on the CN forums, not Pornhub (or at least on separate tabs), and this is what you get: bull$#!% principle instead of effectiveness. But you know, like I alluded to, almost every ally we've ever had started with a war. Maybe this is the start of something beautiful. Until then, we'll see you out there. TL;DR: No. I will not pander to your microscopic millennial attention span. Read the whole thing. And put on a tie when you interview, for $#!%'s sake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joseph Black Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 Asses, I was wondering if we would behold y'all. Welcome to the party, will that be one lump or two? Sincerely, Joseph M. Black Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walshington Posted April 5, 2019 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 1 minute ago, Joseph Black said: Asses, I was wondering if we would behold y'all. Welcome to the party, will that be one lump or two? Sincerely, Joseph M. Black *Squints through binoculars, does some quick calculations* Well, not sure how many of you it will take to kick our asses, but I can see how many you're gonna use. Better make it two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Kanabis Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 I would find this DoW beautiful to behold even if it was coming from the enemy's camp. Welcome to the fight, Walsh. o/ SRA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joseph Black Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 7 minutes ago, Walshington said: *Squints through binoculars, does some quick calculations* Well, not sure how many of you it will take to kick our asses, but I can see how many you're gonna use. Better make it two. Walshington, Such a great time for a war. Spring is in the, the trees are bursting into bloom. And two unmet friends are having tea. Do you take honey? Sincerely, Joseph M. Black Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibsonator21 Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 Oh thank Admin I thought you were attacking SuperFriends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CodFCS Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 33 minutes ago, General Kanabis said: I would find this DoW beautiful to behold even if it was coming from the enemy's camp. Welcome to the fight, Walsh. o/ SRA This we can agree on. THAT'S a DoW! You never dissapoint, Walsh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Optimus Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 You've always had the best DoWs. You're awesome Walsh. With this DoW the war can begin officially lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Spanier Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 I eagerly await the section on your wiki about this. Make sure to dab on em like I taught you for maximum effect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzy95 Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 8 hours ago, Gibsonator21 said: Oh thank Admin I thought you were attacking SuperFriends Who? A shoutout to our CLAWS queens makes this a high-quality DoW. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Hakai Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 joseph a banks is by far the weirdest person here now that THIME HEMIS isn't around Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tevron Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 12 hours ago, CodFCS said: This we can agree on. THAT'S a DoW! You never dissapoint, Walsh. Seconded, I love you Walsh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gowfanatic Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 Damnit Walsh, old as hell and still know how to declare wars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finster Baby Posted April 5, 2019 Report Share Posted April 5, 2019 19 hours ago, Walshington said: TL;DR: No. I will not pander to your microscopic millennial attention span. Read the whole thing. And put on a tie when you interview, for $#!%'s sake. I was like ho-hum till I got here. This, good sir, is genius and wins the thread. Move along, nothing else to see here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibsonator21 Posted April 6, 2019 Report Share Posted April 6, 2019 11 hours ago, Jazzy95 said: Who? A shoutout to our CLAWS queens makes this a high-quality DoW. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Kanabis Posted April 6, 2019 Report Share Posted April 6, 2019 Speaking of competent historians, can we all just agree to let Walsh write the Wiki War Page.. @Smitty256 isn't exactly capable of being unbiased. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Kanabis Posted April 6, 2019 Report Share Posted April 6, 2019 (edited) Quote @Smitty256- PreludeEdit In the aftermath of the Interstellar Wolf with Claws - COBRA war, both sides had taken quite a lot of damage. In December 2018, in an attempt to mitigate the damage, The Mad King of the Freehold of the Wolves, Canik, announced that the alliance ANiMaLzwould be officially merging into FTW. The nations that decided not to join took over ANiMaLz became a protectorate alliance of the FTW. In January 2019, the alliance Supernova X decided that the best course of action for them was to disband and officially join the Freehold of the Wolves. So they did, bringing an end to the long and storied alliance. While all this was happening, General Kanabis, upset over his defeat in the previous war, took to the OWF to try and cause trouble. While GK was trying to cause mayhem for the FTW, a rogue by the name of Korlath, a member of Kashmir, decided he wanted to fight aNIMaLz. So he declared war on them on the day that the 90-day protectorate pact with FTW was set to expire. FTW quickly acted and informed SirWilliam, then King of Kashmir, that Korlath's declaration on aNIMaLz was considered an act of war, seeing as they were still FTW's protectorate. Both sides agreed to let Korlath and aNIMaLz fight 2 rounds and then end the war. By the time that this had been agreed upon, Korlath fled Kashmir and ran to COBRA. Before Canik could work the situation out with GK, COBRA surprised attack the Freehold of the Wolves and then declared war on them in defense of Kashmir. I don't even care that you label your side victorious in past wars that clearly ended in White Peace. I don't even care that you label me a bitter warmonger . Hell, I don't even care that your writing style is atrocious. What I won't tolerate is a blatant disregard for facts. I never once "took to the OWF to cause trouble" post Occupation. You have erroneously placed Korlath within Kashmir when he raided aNiMaLz, and you make it seem like Canik was in contact with SirWilliam all along. Please gtfo bro. Edited April 6, 2019 by General Kanabis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korlath Posted April 6, 2019 Report Share Posted April 6, 2019 4 minutes ago, General Kanabis said: I don't even care that you label your side victorious in past wars that clearly ended in White Peace. I don't even care that you label me a bitter warmonger . Hell, I don't even care that your writing style is atrocious. What I won't tolerate is a blatant disregard for facts. I never once "took to the OWF to cause trouble" post Occupation. You have erroneously placed Korlath within Kashmir when he raided aNiMaLz, and you make it seem like Canik was in contact with SirWilliam all along. Please gtfo bro. Wow. That version of history is totally inaccurate. I was a member of Sellswords when I attacked animalz. I also object to being called a rogue, but you can call me what you want in your history. I'd like to set the record state, though. I am not a rogue. My war was legal. I raided a relatively weak alliance for tech that was no longer under FTW protection (protection expired that day). When FTW claimed they were still under their protection I immediately ceased my attacks and offered peace. A rogue doesn't do that. Had I been a rogue I would have continued to attack without any regard to FTWs alleged non expired protection. It was only after FTW refused to settle the matter peacefully that I continued my attacks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tankobite Posted April 6, 2019 Report Share Posted April 6, 2019 46 minutes ago, General Kanabis said: I don't even care that you label your side victorious in past wars that clearly ended in White Peace. I don't even care that you label me a bitter warmonger . Hell, I don't even care that your writing style is atrocious. What I won't tolerate is a blatant disregard for facts. I never once "took to the OWF to cause trouble" post Occupation. You have erroneously placed Korlath within Kashmir when he raided aNiMaLz, and you make it seem like Canik was in contact with SirWilliam all along. Please gtfo bro. Oof, wiki warriors are the worst. We're doing the cyberverse a favor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Kanabis Posted April 6, 2019 Report Share Posted April 6, 2019 4 minutes ago, Tankobite said: Oof, wiki warriors are the worst. We're doing the cyberverse a favor. Yeah you know what, now they're targeting the COBRA page. Alright folks I'm done, you win the petty war. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tankobite Posted April 6, 2019 Report Share Posted April 6, 2019 Just now, General Kanabis said: Yeah you know what, now they're targeting the COBRA page. Alright folks I'm done, you win the petty war. Classy. You aren't satisfied with outnumbering and out NSing us in the war, you gonna fight on the wikis? We need a better class of villain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Kanabis Posted April 6, 2019 Report Share Posted April 6, 2019 6 minutes ago, Tankobite said: Classy. You aren't satisfied with outnumbering and out NSing us in the war, you gonna fight on the wikis? We need a better class of villain. It's alright. Let them keep that illusion. We learned today that two among their number (actually more) have been removed from the game under questionable circumstances. They can't help the desperation in their actions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tankobite Posted April 6, 2019 Report Share Posted April 6, 2019 Just now, General Kanabis said: It's alright. Let them keep that illusion. We learned today that two among their number (actually more) have been removed from the game under questionable circumstances. They can't help the desperation in their actions. Very interesting... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walshington Posted April 7, 2019 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2019 On 4/4/2019 at 10:18 PM, Joseph Black said: Walshington, Such a great time for a war. Spring is in the, the trees are bursting into bloom. And two unmet friends are having tea. Do you take honey? Sincerely, Joseph M. Black Is there a bad time for war? Went to check the blossoms on my trees, but my population has eaten them -- apparently, they are rioting in the streets due to several days of economic devastation, I'm not sure what that's all about. Won't stop my pinky from extending as we pursue the gentlemanly art of war. On 4/4/2019 at 10:43 PM, Gibsonator21 said: Oh thank Admin I thought you were attacking SuperFriends Oh, yes, I'm certain you were quaking in your boots -- especially when you note the size of our blitz has TRIPLED! On 4/5/2019 at 4:37 AM, James Spanier said: I eagerly await the section on your wiki about this. Make sure to dab on em like I taught you for maximum effect. I'm going to be dabbing so tough, they'll be begging for yeet. It's gonna be the bees knees, yo.(Nailed it!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joseph Black Posted April 7, 2019 Report Share Posted April 7, 2019 1 hour ago, Walshington said: Is there a bad time for war? Went to check the blossoms on my trees, but my population has eaten them -- apparently, they are rioting in the streets due to several days of economic devastation, I'm not sure what that's all about. Won't stop my pinky from extending as we pursue the gentlemanly art of war. Walshington, I'm not fond of winter wars. There are to many domestic matters that require my attention. On the note of petulant citizens I have a group of scientists that I will like very much to line up and shoot. In the middle of a thermonuclear war I am receiving this message when I attempt to purchase more than two. "You have already purchased your limit of nuclear weapons today. Your scientists are exhausted and demand a day of rest. Come back tomorrow" I'm unsure where they get the notion that we're taking a day off. Or that I should be purchasing anything. I've tried ordering my soldiers to force them to work, but as of yet has had no affect. Are you around on discord or forums? I'll take our conversation there if you prefer? Sincerely, Joseph M. Black Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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