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Lord of Darkness

Make Pastries Great Again

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Imperial Decree from the New Pastry Order

 

Since 2003 the New Pacific Order has, in numerous forms, been a bastion of peace, strength, and prosperity, always seeking to bring and uphold order in the world. But it is time for that to change. There is something far more delicious than order: pastries and other assorted baked goods. It is time for us to make the world hungry.

 

Today marks the end of the New Pacific Order's regime and the rise of the New Pastry Order. Long may we make our enemies perish of longing for baked goods.

 

I do hereby appoint Jesse End as Overseer of Pastry Operations, Nemphesis as Imperial Officer of Recipe and Record Keeping, Dan100 as Imperial Officer of Keeping Poodles Away from the Kitchens, Bart416 as Director of Baking Research, amyameretta as Resident Pie Expert, MariMassa as Baby Filling Supplier, SynysterGates as Strawberry Shortcake Lover and Queen of the Shortcakes, and Maelstrom Vortex as Official Pastry Taster Taste Tester.

 

All will be one with pastries! Hail the Era of Pastrity!

 

Naturally we have adjusted our forums accordingly to this change: https://cn.npowned.net/forum/

 

Lord of Darkness,
Emperor of the New Pastry Order
Purveyor of Baked Goods

 

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Edited by Lord of Darkness

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Eh. No one careth anymore about alliance names it seems. 

 

So long Pacifica, hello bakery 

 

How much for a hot cross bun? 

Edited by Lucius Optimus

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12 minutes ago, Lucius Optimus said:

How much for a hot cross bun? 

 

Your first born child. Seems like a fair deal, you eat our pastry, we eat your baby.

-Strawberry Shortcake

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1 minute ago, SynysterGates said:

Your first born child. Seems like a fair deal, you eat our pastry, we eat your baby.

-Strawberry Shortcake

I'm not asking you to spin gold from straw, I want a freaking bun with frosting. 

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As a token of our friendship and gratitude for all of the recent kindness Old Guard would like to offer up one of our ancient recipes to help fire up this new endeavor of yours. May these bring you as much joy as they have brought us.

 

Best Cocoa Brownies

 

    10 tablespoons (140 grams) unsalted butter
    1 1/4 cups (250 grams) granulated sugar
    3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons (65 grams, may vary by brands) unsweetened cocoa powder (natural or Dutch-process)
    1/4 teaspoon salt (or a heaping 1/4 teaspoon flaky salt, as I used)
    1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
    2 large eggs, cold
    1/2 cup (65 grams) all-purpose flour
    2/3 cup (75 grams) walnut or pecan pieces (optional)


Position a rack in the lower third of the oven and preheat the oven to 325°F. Line the bottom and sides of an 8×8-inch square baking pan with parchment paper or foil, leaving an overhang on two opposite sides.

 

Combine the butter, sugar, cocoa, and salt in a medium heatproof bowl and melt the butter with the cocoa in a microwave ( 15 seconds at a time ). Stir from time to time until the butter is melted and the mixture is smooth and hot enough that you want to remove your finger fairly quickly after dipping it in to test.

 

Set the bowl aside briefly until the mixture is only warm, not hot. It looks fairly gritty at this point, but don’t fret — it smooths out once the eggs and flour are added.

 

Stir in the vanilla with a wooden spoon. Add the eggs one at a time, stirring vigorously after each one. When the batter looks thick, shiny, and well blended, add the flour and stir until you cannot see it any longer, then beat vigorously for 40 strokes with the wooden spoon or a rubber spatula. Stir in the nuts, if using. Spread evenly in the lined pan.

 

Bake until a toothpick plunged into the center emerges slightly moist with batter, 30 to 35 minutes.

 

Let cool completely on a rack. (I go further and throw mine in the fridge or freezer for a while; it’s the only way I can get them to cut with clean lines.)

 

Lift up the ends of the parchment or foil liner, and transfer the brownies to a cutting board. Cut into 16 or 25 squares.

 

 

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I reserve the right to eat devour any buns presented.

 

*Watches his fellow pacificans line up in the Scottish Battle-Line position a la Braveheart.*

 

No wait! Not those buns! NOT THOSE BUNS! *runs away sccreaming*

Edited by Maelstrom Vortex

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What is the Order's stance on cookies? The answer to this question will determine the future of relations between our two alliances.

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On 4/1/2017 at 5:24 PM, Dan100 said:

Make Pastries Great Again!


How Danish of you, Dan. :)

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On 4/2/2017 at 10:25 PM, Austrailia said:

What is the Order's stance on cookies? The answer to this question will determine the future of relations between our two alliances.

 

Cookies are fantastic.

 

But anyone who puts raisins in cookies will be ripped limb from limb.

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On 4/15/2017 at 9:58 PM, Jesse End said:

 

Cookies are fantastic.

 

But anyone who puts raisins in cookies will be ripped limb from limb.

 

I have to agree with this. Raisins do not belong in anything. It's even worse when they ruin a salad. Who thought it would be a bright idea to mix fruit with lettuce?

Edited by Thrash

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On 4/15/2017 at 6:58 PM, Jesse End said:

 

Cookies are fantastic.

 

But anyone who puts raisins in cookies will be ripped limb from limb.

 

Even oatmeal?  Because even if I buy tour thesis, this is likely the exception that proves the rule.

 

EDIT: Wait, unless you consider "Cookies are fantastic" to be your thesis.  Then I agree utterly, and simply question the corollary.

 

Edited by Walshington
semantics

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22 hours ago, Walshington said:

Even oatmeal?


Especially oatmeal because you could use that oatmeal to make missouri mud cookies instead which are so so much better.

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