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The Bathhouse Accords


Cazaric

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The Bathhouse Accords

 

Article I – Sovereignty
The signatories shall respect the rules of the bathhouse, and neither signatory shall use the other’s hook for their hat lest they be charged a fee of $15 for incorrect use of a hook.

Article II – Non-Aggression and Disputes
If both parties want the same seat in the sauna, they will discuss it reasonably. Heated discussion or violence will lead to a $40 fee, and removal of sauna privileges.

Article III – Intelligence
If either party finds a towel on the rack that they know the other party would like to use, they are encouraged to share it with them. Of course, shared towels require a $3 surcharge.

Article IV – Optional Defence
In the event that one signatory is assaulted by a non-member, the other signatory has the option to jump to their defence. If so, they will be entitled to a $5 gift card for the bathhouse store (accessible with a minimal $19.99 activation fee).

Article V – Optional Aggression
If one party should start towel-whipping a non-member, the other signatory is encouraged, but not required, to join in, in the interests of unity and morale. Any towels damaged in this exercise can be replaced for $70 each.

Article VI – Termination
If one party finds that the other is ogling their ooh lah lahs a little too often, they may choose to end membership to the bathhouse by submitting an early termination form, which will be processed in no less than 48 hours and require a $50 fee. If the signatories engage in fisticuffs in the 72 hours following termination, this fee will increase to $125,000.

For Sparta

Wilhelm the Demented, King of the Hot Tub
Cazaric, Steam Room Overlord
octaviafleur, Customer Services Representative
Jessica Rabbit, Head of Ohh Lah Lah Security
MrGed, Master of the Boiler Room
whitetigger, Sauna Minion

For Invicta

KingWilliam, Rubber Ducky
Rotty, KiWi's Towel Boy
Killman4, octaviafleur's #1 Stalker
Lord Draculea, Procurer of Fees
James, Admiral of the Bath Water
Daniel Chrono, Health Inspector

 

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Wilhelm the Demented, King of the Hot Tub
Cazaric, Steam Room Overlord
octaviafleur, Customer Services Representative
Jessica Rabbit, Head of Ohh Lah Lah Security
MrGed, Master of the Boiler Room
whitetigger, Sauna Minion

 

Some of these names look familiar. Where do I know them from? ... hm ...

 

 

 

 

Also: Congrats!

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somebody tell me if either of these alliances are relevant in 2016 because, i mean, really

They both have a good amount of raw power. Sparta is big, Invicta is smaller but tough as nails. So I'd say both have some relevancy.

Congrats on your treaty Sparta & Invicta

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Congrats to our spartan allies. Also cazaric sux.

 

Quit hurting my feelings, you big ol' meanie.

 

Where are the carrots? 

 

They will be revealed to you for the low, low price of $15.

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